Parenthood
by Littledragonrune
Summary: Never, ever in his wildest dreams, he would have guessed what important thing Olivia had to tell him when she messaged him fifteen minutes ago requesting his presence at her place ASAP.
1. Chapter 1

_In this settling, Olivia and Rafael had formed a strong friendship since the beginning of their work together, despite their strong personalities. Even more after Lewis and after Brian left._

 _I'm going to write one-shots that may or may not include some moment of the chapters. They are going to follow a temporary line but I don't know if I'm going to make some temporary jumps._

 _Sorry in advance for the mistakes I know I'm going to make or if something sounds weird._

* * *

 _The crib._

As he opened the door of her place, Rafael could only imagine the horrible things he was about to found in there. Even after her cryptic message, to go to her place ASAP, because something really good had happened to her that afternoon, the memories of what she had gone through this last year were too fresh for him.

He knew that when you best your best friend gives you the key to her place it's to be used for an emergency. But when she didn't open the door after what he considered enough amount of time, he had started to fidget in front of the door waiting no more than a few seconds to let himself in.

Her place was messy. He already knew that she wasn't as ordered obsessed as him, but it was messier than her usual. With a big box by the door, more than a few plastic bags and a lot of wood pieces scrambled by the living room. But no Olivia in the room.

"Liv?" He called her without having an answer. "Liv?" He tried again with more force.

"Rafael?" He heard her voice coming from her bedroom. She sounded surprised. "What are you doing in here?" She asked him.

"You didn't open the door," Rafael said stating the obvious.

"And?"

"And what?" He asked. "After that message, what did you think? I almost lost my lungs coming here."

"Anyway, just give me a sec." He could be such a drama queen. She couldn't stop her smile knowing what his face was even when they were rooms apart.

"Ok," Rafael said while he started to remove the pieces from the sofa. "I know that you think that a bit of mess makes your place homely, but tonight you nailed yourself." Not even a comment like that would make her smile disappear from her face.

"Thank you for your input, Rafael." She said to him as she walked to the living room. "But I was a bit taken all afternoon to have all my place ready for you." He was too concentrated in ordering around that he didn't look at her way after a few seconds.

"Wow." She prided herself to be one of the few ones that could let him speechless. "That's a baby."

"Well, yes it is captain obvious." She said smiling like a teenager as she held Noah between her arms. "He's Noah." She started to speak again seeing that the man in front of her was like a deer caught in highlights. "And he's my baby."

He was looking at her. With her hair in a messy bun, wearing a pair of yoga pants and an NYPD hoodie. Happier that he had never seen her.

Despite their strong personalities they had fit in together pretty soon. Both in the professional part of their lives and the personal one. At first, they would use the pretense of work, as neither of them was prepared to acknowledge how easy it was to trust the other after all, that had happened in their lives. But after a few months, the work excuses weren't enough to justify all the time they spent together, even when she had a boyfriend or something like that.

Rafael would always remember the feeling when that psychopath took her away. He should have been with her at his place having dinner. But she canceled in the last moment in an attempt to save her relationship with Cassidy making him a surprise dinner at her place. He should have known that something happened when she didn't answer his messages. But he was tired and he fell asleep on the sofa watching a movie.

After he saw her at the hospital he almost drew himself in alcohol. He wanted to step in and help her as much as she would let him. But Cassidy was there. And his shame didn't let him ask. It wasn't until two weeks later after her release from the hospital, after two weeks of barely any word between them, when she called him at 2 AM. She was crying barely capable to say a word between her sobs. Making him so worried that in his run to her he forgot that he was in his jammies.

"Amazing." He couldn't say much more, being too captivated by her best friend image of pure bliss holding her baby son. But the didn't need many words between them to understand each other.

"I know." She murmured looking at the baby.

"Hello there, Noah." He said touching the baby's hand as softly as he could trying not to look as scared as he was of him.

"You can hold him if you want." She offered already moving him to put him in his arms.

"No thanks." He said taking a step behind unconsciously.

"Are you afraid of babies, Rafael?" She asked knowing already the answer.

"No." Her eyebrow went up. "It's just that he looks comfortable where he is. So why disturb him." That made her laugh.

"If you say so." She said. "So…" She started talking to the baby. "How about we tell Rafi his true mission in here?"

"Oh! Now I'm Rafi" He said with false hurt in his voice. Olivia looked at him as she kissed Noah's head.

"Rafael it's too long and too formal for him." She said looking at him with that smile. The one that always carried him problems.

"Oh God. I'm assuming that I have no say in that." He stated the obvious as he placed his hand on her back.

"Nope." They both laugh.

"Just not in the precinct or the courtroom, please." It was his only request as he kissed her on the forehead. "Well then, now the tough question. What do you want from me?"

"The Crib." She said easily. She didn't need to have any filter with him. "Or you can have the baby." She said looking at him smiling.

"I'll stay with the crib." He said going after the mess dispersed in the room. "At least you know where the instructions manual is?" He asked looking how she bitted her lip as she went to the kitchen. "Liv?"

"It should be over there." She said not paying much attention to him. "Pizza for dinner?"

"Really Liv."

"Half pepperoni half anchovy right?" He could do much more than smile at her. That woman would be the death of him someday.

Four hours later, barefoot and only wearing his jeans and his undershirt and having eaten his weight in pizza, they were sitting on the sofa. Rafael had his feet on the table, near their forgotten drinks, and Olivia resting her head on his shoulder, neither of them really looking at the movie on the tv, as Noah was sleeping soundly on her mother's front.

"I know that I'm not the manliest man but I'm pretty confident of my capacity to follow some instructions so I think that if you put him in the crib he won't fall." He said making her smile.

"I know… just for a little while more. Ok?"

"Ok." He said kissing her hair, willing to stay in there the whole night for her if she asked him.

"It's just… this feeling…" She tried to say.

"I know… I think I'm starting to understand it." He murmured.

* * *

I hope you like it. And I'm waiting for your comments.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you so much for all your comments. I'm really happy you like my idea._

 _Here's the next one._

* * *

 _Some books_

He had been in there during for fifteen minutes, walking quietly through the aisles searching without finding what he wanted. It had been two weeks since Olivia started to fostering Noah and his fear of babies hadn't gone away, despite his constant contact with one for the last days. That made Rafael set his necessities straight.

Olivia was her best friend and now she was a mom. And if he wanted to keep the best relationship he had had in his entire life he had to do something. But it was easier said than done. A few nights ago he did a google research of the whole thing founding a few book titles that seemed interesting enough to not fall asleep on them after his work schedule. But once he stepped inside the bookstore the confidence he had developed during his life had abandoned him in a second.

He had been so concentrated during his hole mental speech he hadn't seen how one shop assistant had approached him.

"Can I help you with something sir?" She asked, making Rafael stop his internal rambling and look at the small woman who had appeared beside him. He didn't have the habit to babble, only when his mother caught him with something he had tried to hide from her. But right now he was nervous and the inquisitor eyes of the young woman in front of him didn't make him the situation any easier.

"Yes…" He said hesitantly. "I'm searching for a few books." He chose his words carefully.

"Do you have something specific?" The girl asked him quietly, he seemed like he was about to fly at any moment.

"Mmmm… I searched a few the other night. I made a list." He explained. "But I haven't seen any of them."

"Can I see the list, sir?"

"Here." He said quickly, wanting to end all this as fast as he could.

"Oh… you made quite a research." The girl smiled at him. "They are good ones. But they're in another section. If you follow me, please." She said as she started to walk away.

Rafael took a deep breath. He didn't really know why he was so nervous. There wasn't any way that Olivia could found him. And if that would be the case he wasn't doing anything wrong. But he couldn't stop this feeling of uneasiness at being caught. He thought as he followed the girl in silence.

"Here." She said after a few minutes. "Right now, we only have four of the books on your list." She explained him after searching on their database. "I could order the other tree and have them send it to you at the end of the week." She offered.

"Ok," Rafael said shortly. It wasn't after he was outside again that he started to breathe calmly again.

...

Two weeks later they were at his place. She hadn't been there in a while, always preferring her place for Noah, as it was easiest. But this time they had a difficult case and despite their want to be with the little boy they wanted to do the work as fast as they could before go to him and have dinner together. The weather had cooled down these last days and Olivia had got cold.

She didn't ask him before she went to his bedroom to grab something warmer than her work clothes and Rafael didn't remember his little ongoing research, being in that moment to focused on his work.

Olivia had gone to his room plenty of times over the time they had to know each other. She knew where everything was in there. But after grabbing a sweatshirt of his she saw something it wasn't there the last time she was in the room.

Above the bedside table, there were a few books with more than a few post-its standing out from the leaves. She had always been curious, and Rafael hadn't said anything about a new interest to her. So her nosy self-took place as she sat on his bed grabbing the first one. She was left speechless once she rode the title. It was a book of child development and she could assume easily that the other books were about the same thing. This man amazed her. Always doing things for her, even when she didn't know she needed or wanted them. And if she thought about it, she could see the little changes he had made in his interactions with Noah in the last two weeks. How little by little he had been calmer and more comfortable with her baby. Learning how to play with him, how to speak to him, or how to provide for him. That thought almost made her cry, but she didn't want to get caught. She knew that he wanted to surprise her with his actions and not with his books, but it was really difficult to stop the tears. That man was marvelous and the things he did for her, most of the time she didn't have words to thank him.

"Liv? You coming?" He asked her from the living room, sounding a little exasperated already.

"Yeah." She said as she went to grab the pen and one of the post-its that were beside the books. "In a minute."

...

Hours later, once alone and with his pyjamas on he was more than prepared for a full night of sleep. He was about to continue his reading for a little while, sitting on his bed with his back resting on the headboard when he saw it. His books weren't in the same order he left them this morning. After grabbing the first one of the stack he saw it had a new post-it in the cover, with Liv's handwriting.

The exam is next Friday with some of your cooking. Keep doing your homework counselor.

Those few words with a smiley face made him smile at the same time he shook his head thinking how hard it was to hide something from her, whether or not he tried.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you so much for your comments! I'm really happy you like it. Here is the next one. I'm waiting your opinions._

* * *

 _Baby carrier_

Rafael was staring at his options. He knew that if he wanted to go to the grocery store and buy what he needed to make dinner Noah would have to tag along.

He also knew he would need his hands and arms, not only to grab his purchases but also to bring them to Liv's place. So, hence his dilemma. The stroller or the monstrous thing hanging in the hanger beside the door that Liv called baby carrier.

He only wanted to do a small gesture to her best friend. The current case had gotten a lot of her and her squad. Despite not being a high profile one the few leads they had had barely given anything to work with. So with all his good faith, after a change of clothes at his place, he had taken advantage of his free afternoon and went to Liv's place to relieve Lucy and made her something home cooked for dinner.

He was standing in front of the open fridge in disbelieve. How was he supposed to make a surprise dinner for her best friend when her kitchen didn't have enough ingredients to make anything. Her fridge was almost empty and the few things she had in there had seen better days. How could a grown woman like Liv have this shameful thing in there? Thank God Noah was mostly still with his baby milk.

That's why after picking Noah, once he had woken up from his nap, he was at the front door with his dilemma, looking at the baby carrier with suspicion. Liv had rambled again and again of how comfortable and how easy was to carry Noah with it. And he would be free of all the nuisance the stroller could make sometimes. It was just for a quick visit to the grocery store around the corner.

At the end, he grabbed the damned thing and went to the sofa so he could put the carrier on his chest while Noah sat on the sofa. Hoping that Liv wouldn't catch him because if she saw him he wouldn't ear the end of it. He would never acknowledge she had been right. He had to admit while walking on the street, that it was pretty comfortable for both of them. Noah could see a lot and he had his arms free to calm him if he needed it or do other things and have the baby controlled all the time.

Once in the grocery store, he talked to Noah like he was a grown-up instead of a baby. He talked about silly things and what they would do for dinner. Until he felt something. Looking to his side there was a woman at the end of the aisle that was looking at them a bit weird. He didn't know how to describe it, but he felt exposed. Rafael quietly walked away like nothing had happened, but it wasn't his day. A few minutes later another woman did the same, and then another. Not understanding what was happening as both Noah and he were clean and well dressed, he decided to grab the few things he needed and leave as soon as possible and go to Liv's place.

He was still thinking about it when he opened Liv's door. He found her in the living room, looking like she had just arrived too. But before he could greet her Rafael saw it. The same look they had gotten at the grocery store.

"What is it?" He asked her as he saw how she was looking at them. "Not you too. I have spent the most bizarre half an hour of my life at the grocery store. And you are looking at me like them." He was starting to feel really weird.

"What?" That seemed to take her out of her stupor but she was still looking at them in the same creepy way.

"At the grocery shop…" He started as he went to hand her the baby so he could take out the baby carrier, put the things on the kitchen counter and star dinner. "I was chatting with Noah about what to have for dinner and then I felt observed." Olivia was rocking Noah resting on the kitchen counter beside Rafael while he started to make dinner. "And a saw a woman looking at me or at us in that same creepy look you had seconds ago. I thought it was me but as I kept going other women in there kept looking at me." He signed. "And I don't know why. We're both clean, well dressed and we seem normal people." He rambled grabbing the things, not seeing Olivia's smile.

"I don't know if it's my place to say it," Olivia said.

"Come on Liv. Please." He could not stand not knowing the truth. "At least tell me what did I do wrong so the next time I won't earn more creepy looks."

"You'll earn them anyway." That few words made him look at her not understanding anything.

"Sometimes…" She started biting her lip, not knowing how to say what she was about to say without making his ego bigger than already was.

"Sometimes…" He tried to coach her.

"Sometimes seeing an attractive guy with a baby, chatting and being with him at ease, with a baby carrier, stirs some feelings on women." He wasn't looking at him, deciding to focus her attention on Noah, already knowing he had his smug smile plastered on his handsome face and how his green eyes tingled with mischief.

"Does that mean you found me attractive?" He asked

"That's not the question counselor." She tried to divert still not looking at him so he wouldn't see her blush.

"Please me." His voice went thicker. And when she looked at him, those eyes made her skin tingle.

"What if I say yes?" He wasn't the only one who could flirt.

"Then I would feel extremely pleased and flattered." He was sincere. She only smiled at him leaving him to wander for a little bit, not because she didn't feel comfortable with the question it was just for the pleasure she felt denying him that little thing. He always looked like a little boy who had been denied an ice cream.

"I'm going to change." But before she went away he surprised her again.

"I think you are."

"What?"

"Attractive and beautiful." He said simply making her blush again in less than five minutes.

"Don't try to bribe me." She needed to change the subject.

"You wish. If I really wanted to do so you would lose." He didn't look away when she took a while to answer.

"Now you are the one daydreaming." She laughed trying to hide her nervousness as she went to her bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello there! First of all thank you so much for your comments, I love them. I'm really happy you like the chapters. Here's the next one._

 _I'm waiting to read your opinions._

* * *

 _Swimming pool_

"Barba," Rafael answered his phone without checking the ID call. He only wanted to leave his office as soon as possible and have one of his unexpected early afternoons.

"Rafi." With one single word she made him stop what he was doing. He knew that voice very well. Not only the human being behind it but also the intent behind that sweet tone.

"What do you want?" He didn't greed her, they had talked via text not an hour ago.

"Am I that predictable?" Olivia asked.

"Sometimes." He was sincere. "But lately I can catch you pretty easily."

"I'm losing my touch, then." She said making him smile.

"Don't try to make small talk sergeant, it doesn't suit you. What do you want?" To someone else, his words could seem a bit harsh and unfriendly, but they knew each other too well to know when their banter was a playful one or not.

"Well…. I was planning to go home but, Chief Dodds who has left my office right now has made me pretty clear that he wants me at the four-afternoon reunion. I didn't really catch the why but he wants me there."

"Ok. And that it's important to me, because?" He cut her monologue.

"If you let me talk please... anyway that wasn't why I was calling you." She said and Rafael heard the deep breath she took before speaking again, letting him know that in a few seconds he was going to know what was the next mess in which he was going to be involved because of her. "The thing is that Noah and I were supposed to go to one of this swimming classes for babies and the parents."

"No, no way." He knew what was going to be next.

"Please, Rafi!" She pleaded.

"What about Lucy?"

"I gave her the afternoon free and I know she made some plans with her friends."

"Liv…" He knew he sounded exasperated. They were best friends but somewhere there was supposed to be a line that they weren't supposed to cross, even when lately it was really difficult to draw it.

"Please, we have already missed two classes and at the last one… they didn't say anything specific but they kind of insinuated that they would kick us out if it happened again. And this pool is really close to my place and is clean, and Noah likes it there…."

"Ok…" He concealed.

"And you are the only one I have…" She continued her rambling. "Wait, what?" She asked once she understood the man's words.

"Ok, you win. But you'll owe me a good one, a very good one."

"Thank you!" He could sense her smile at the other side of the line while he was almost wrapped in his misery. He loved Noah, but he had envisioned his afternoon sitting on his expensive and comfortable couch watching some tv. "I know. I'm going to pay you really good. I assure you" She stated.

"Well, that sounded a bit sexual." He laughed.

"Rafael!" She exclaimed laughing too. "Lucy is on his way to your office to drop Noah and everything you could need. And I'll text you the address."

"Mmmm…" He acknowledged while he grabbed the last things he needed.

"And don't worry she's bringing you the baby carrier."

"You really think you are funny, right." He said with a bit of sarcasm. "I don't think that making fun of me right now it's the best idea."

"Maybe?" She said laughing. "Anyway I'll meet you there when I'm done and if you want I'll bribe you with dinner as a start of my payment. Deal?"

"Deal. The things I do for you if my mother knew just the half of them I'll never hear the end of it. I'll see you later" He said before ending the call.

...

Rafael would always wonder how she made him do all these things for her and Noah. Like right now. He was in the swimming pool water with Noah, after running to his home to grab his swimsuit, towels and a change of clothes and arriving at the pool just in time to start the class. The boy was having a good time, splashing the water around him and signaling a lot of things to Rafael with his baby talk. But he wasn't comfortable in there.

He tried really hard to concentrate on Noah but the feeling of being watched didn't help him at all. While he the tried to follow the teacher instructions, he could see by the corner of his eyes a group of moms that were unashamedly watching them from the other end of the pool gossiping between them loud enough to him to notice.

He was cursing the moment he gave up at Liv's pleas. Those women were insane. He was there with a baby, that could be perfectly his and he could be perfectly happily married. Thank God that any of them had tried to approach them.

"¿Te lo pasas bien Noah? (Are you having fun, Noah?)" Having as an answer a smile and some incomprehensible baby rambling. Since the beginning, he had started to speak Noah in Spanish and he thought he was catching it pretty quickly. But as he twirled with Noah, Rafael saw how their little bubble was going to be teared up.

"Hello." One of the moms was approaching them despite Rafael's horror face.

"Hi." He said curtly, trying not to be to boor at her.

"She's Hannah and I'm Joan." She said introducing her girl and herself.

"Nice to meet you." Sometimes it was really hard to feign a smile.

"And you two are?" And the subtlety went to the trash.

"He's Noah and I'm Rafael." He could hear his teeth grind as he answered.

"You are new." She stated not catching his hint.

"Yeah, my wife is the one who usually brings him," Rafael said hoping that this time the woman took the hint.

"Oo.." He didn't like her smile. "You wouldn't lie to me, right honey." She was getting really close. "You aren't wearing a ring." He was speechless. That woman had him trapped near the pool edge and if he said something harsh and got Noah out of the classes Liv was going to kill him. At the end, he was saved by the teacher when she got the parents attention for the next exercise.

"We'll talk latter honey." She claimed before she went away.

"Noah, si mami quiere que te vuelva a estas clases, hay que cambiar de sitio. (Noah, if mommy wants me to bring you to these classes, we're changing the place)" Rafael said to Noah who didn't understand anything.

After the class ended he grabbed Noah securely in his arms before running away to the changing room. Not wanting to be trapped again. He took his time changing himself and the boy before calling Liv to ask her where she was because he wasn't going to go outside if she wasn't in there already. He was lucky as she was already waiting for them.

Once he grabbed all their things and walked outside the locker room, at first he saw the group of moms chatting and a little behind them was Olivia looking at her phone. As powerful as always.

"Wive." He said as a greeting as he went to her and kissed her chastely on the lips.

"Husband" If she was surprised by his actions she didn't demonstrate it. "Hello, baby." She said to Noah as she grabbed him from Rafael's arms, kissing his forehead. "Did you have fun with daddy?" And then he saw it. He didn't know if it was for their silent communication or for the way she didn't find his actions crazy.

"You knew it." He said.

"What?" She tried to appear innocent.

"You knew they would do something." He didn't need to point the group of women to her.

"No."

"Liar." He looked at her in the eyes as she bitted her lower lip.

"Maybe." She smiled at him.

"You… don't smile at me, it's not going to help you." And now she was laughing at his face as he tried to stay mad at her.

"I've seen you in underwear and you look pretty good. You should feel pleased with the attention." She said looking so smug as she grabbed his hand to start their walk home.

"No, there's not a way that their looks could make me feel that. I feel dirty and not in a good way" He said as they left the pool, starting to put on himself the baby carrier.

"I can carry him." She offered as they walked.

"No, it's ok. We are good."

"You love that thing, don't try to deny it." She was laughing now. Seeing Rafael with Noah and the baby carrier stirred in her feelings she didn't want to acknowledge.

"Just let's go dinner." He smiled at her neither of them finding weird to walk holding hands.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hello there!_

 _I don't want to repeat myself but thank you for your comments! I love them and I makes me very happy to know you like this one-shots. Here is the next one._

* * *

 _Bed._

They were having the perfect afternoon with Rafael's home cooked dinner after a quick stop to the grocery store. He cocking while Olivia played with Noah.

Despite her beloved independence, under her hard surface, she loved being taken care of. And she loved the way Rafael did it, with subtle touches and suggestions, never imposing himself. Surprising her with how in tune they were. Olivia had never experienced that with anyone before him.

But their relaxation time after a delicious meal went off when her phone started to ring. The ID caller said it was Finn, and at this hour she had the feeling that they had gotten a new case.

Rafael looked at her while he held the empty dishes and after a short conversation with no more than a few words from her part, he knew it two.

"New case?"

"Yeah." She sounded tired. "The girl is on his way to the ER. I'm meeting Amanda there." She explained helping him with the table.

"No." He stopped her. "I'll do it. Just go change."

"Thanks." She smiled at him, stopping before leaving to her bedroom bitting her lip.

"Just ask." They knew each other so well. She loved the sensation but sometimes she feared it too.

"Do I have to call Lucy?" She asked quickly making him smile.

"Do you want to?" Despite their friendship and his constant presence in her baby's life, he didn't want to assume. She seemed thoughtful before answering him.

"Not really." She murmured. "But I don't want to impose."

"Then don't. I'm offering." He smiled at her.

"Ok." Olivia still murmured. "Will you manage? There's bath time." She asked remembering the only other time Rafael did that part of Noah's routine and how he almost had ended wetter than the little boy.

"I think I will." He was remembering it too. "Don't they say that practice makes the master."

"If you say so." Olivia laughs at him as she left the room.

Just after five minutes, she came back again.

"Are you sure? There's still time to call Lucy." She offered him again.

"Yes, I am. Don't worry. I'll send you updates and photos." He smiled at her while putting clean dishes on the dish rack.

"Ok." She hurried to her baby. Kissing his forehead. "Goodbye honey. Be good for Rafa." Rafael looked at them from the kitchen wall with his arms crossed and the dish towel on his shoulder.

"We'll manage mommy." He said to Olivia making her look at him. "Go catch the bad guys."

She left after those words leaving her two boys alone. Rafael approached Noah who was playing quietly in his baby playpen.

"Qué opinas Noah… (What do you think, Noah…)" He caught the boy's attention. "Empezamos por el baño? (Should we start with the bath?)" He grabbed the smiling boy and headed to the bathroom, praying that this time it would go with less water everywhere.

...

After all these years she loved her job. She knew that. But the late almost till sunrise working nights when they got a new case in the middle of the night weren't her favorite. She had foolishly thought that with the new position at work these nights wouldn't be in her schedule anymore. But she didn't get so lucky. And because of that, she was arriving home at 4 AM.

She was too tired to turn on the lights and she knew her place well enough so to not crash with anything. She left her boots by the door and went to her son's room. She always checked him, despite knowing he had been well taken cared of during her absence.

Her room was going to be her next stop, already dreaming with her comfortable mattress and her soft cotton sheets. It didn't take her much more time to remove all her clothes except her panties and grab one of her crappy old t-shirts. She was almost asleep before touching her pillow when something moved beside her and an arm grabbed her by the hips. Olivia stayed stiff until a voice she perfectly knew grumbled beside her hear at the same time a face rubbed her back.

"Rafael?" She asked surprised. She knew he was at her place, she had left him there with Noah, but she would have never imagined founding him in her bed. He didn't answer her, he only grumbled again. "Rafael?" She tried again, this time facing him and moving him grabbing his shoulder.

"¿Qué? (What?)" He was still more asleep than awake.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him.

"Hey…" He was a bit more conscious. "You came back. What time is it?" He asked reaching for his phone.

"4 AM." She said him before he had time to look at the phone.

"Mmmm…Ok" He was falling asleep again while she was now fully awake.

"Seriously, what are you doing in here?"

"Mmmm… sleep." He said to her like she had made a stupid question.

"I can see that. But why in my bed?"

"Were you expecting me to sleep on the sofa?" The room was dark but she could feel his eyes on her, and she knew she was smiling at her with his mischievously smile. "Really Liv, after making you dinner and taking care of your son which included bath time, two diaper change, bedtime and two visits to his room since I went to sleep. That question is cruel." She couldn't stop her smile after those words. "And I'm too old to have to sleep on the sofa when I haven't earned it."

"Ok, counselor. You win this time." She was really tired and she didn't have the privilege to sleep until midday. "Just don't grab all the sheets."

"Don't worry." He sounded really sleepy.

But after their conversation, Olivia was fully awake. Thinking about the case and making more noise than she thought.

"Everything ok?" Rafael asked her.

"Yeah…" She said. "Just a bit too excited after all the ordeal. Sometimes it takes me a long time to fell asleep." She confessed.

"I know the feeling." He said. "Do you trust me?" He asked out of nowhere.

"Of course. What is with this question now?" She didn't want to get mad at him but with being this tired and not being capable to fall asleep it would take barely anything to get her.

"Let me try something. Please." He offered.

"Ok." She said a bit wary. It's not every day when your best friend makes you propositions in bed. He silently pushed her by the shoulder making her turn to her side, looking at the wall while he went behind her so they where spooning. And after a few seconds, his arm went to her side and grabbed one of her hands, starting to draw patterns on her palm. "Is this ok?" He asked her.

"I never caught you for a cuddle person." She mostly felt his laugh more than ear it.

"Close your eyes and try to sleep. Tomorrow is to close already."

"Ok." She felt really comfortable, with his body heat warming her and his calm breathing relaxing her until she started to doze of still feeling his hands caressing hers.


	6. Chapter 6

_I might sound repetitive but I'll say it again, thank you for your comments. I love them._

 _Here's the next one. I hope you'll like it too._

* * *

 _Male pride_

Despite the amazing and joyful experience, the motherhood is supposed to be, right now, for Olivia, it wasn't. She was really tired. It wasn't the easiest thing being a single mom, even when she had the help of her friends and a wonderful nanny.

The last six months had passed her in a blur. She was due to an official social service visit in a few days and Noah had gotten sick with otitis two days ago. Murphy's law was a constant in her life. She knew that it wasn't her fault but with the social services around the corner, she couldn't stop the feeling that something would go wrong. At the end, her uneasiness had made her call Langan, despite Rafael comforting words. Making herself look like the first-time mother she was.

After two days of medication, the fever had gone down but Noah was still cranky and he only wanted to be held. Making a bit difficult to have a serious conversation between two adults when you have a baby demanding your whole attention.

"Hey, let me try." Langan offered. "I know that it won't be the same, but at least you'll have a break."

"Are you sure?" She asked him trying not to sound too desperate.

"If I wasn't I wouldn't have offered." He smiled at her.

"Thanks." She said as she passed him the baby. "I just… sometimes it's really difficult. And this week has been a nightmare."

"Don't worry. The social services won't find anything to object to. The meeting is going to be ok." He tried to calm her while he rocked the sick baby.

Olivia could see that Noah wasn't displeased by the new position but he wasn't entirely comfortable in the man's arms. But her own tiredness was starting to make her baby even more cranky so Olivia wasn't going to waste the opportunity of ten minutes of freedom.

She knew who her baby really wanted, but Rafael hadn't had the opportunity to stop by her place for almost a whole week. He was in the middle of one of his moods due to the case he was defending in court this week. And his life was a combination of work, work and more work fueled by coffee and a few hours of sleep every night. They were supposed to prepare her witness but with Noah, she had barely been at the precinct this last two days. She had asked him about it an hour ago with a text that still was unanswered.

Langan was trying to reassure her when someone knocked on her door.

"Just a second," Olivia said as she walked to the door. "Hey." She greeted Rafael.

"Sorry, the phone died." He let himself in. "Still up to prepare tonight? I have brought pizza and wine." He said offering her the treats.

"Yeah… perfect." He was always saving her. "I'm too tired to cook."

"I supposed so." He smiled. "Noah is already sleeping?" Rafael asked surprised as they went to the living room. Despite hardly having seen each other this last week, their conversation via phone had not stopped in all these days. So he was fully aware of Noah sickness and he knew how difficult could be to put him to sleep when he was cranky.

"He's.." But she couldn't finish the sentence, as she almost crashed into Rafael's back after he had stopped in the middle of the room, looking at Langan holding Noah.

"Langan." He greeted the other man.

"Barba." It was obvious their discomfort. They were looking at each other like the other was a threat.

Olivia wanted to say something to smooth the tension but she was too tired to fight their male instinct and before she could say something Noah started to squirm and try to reach Rafael, making Rafael smile at him. She quickly saw he was wearing the one he always had when the three were together, but at the same time, it was a bit different. Like he was trying to hold back the pride he was feeling because Noah preferred him.

"Dame un segundo amigo. (Give me a sec buddy)." He said to Noah, as he handed her their dinner, took off his blazer and rolled up the shirt sleeves before reaching the baby. Noah went willingly and settled into his arms grabbing as soon as he could his suspenders and putting his face in the crook of Rafael's neck. He was sleepy but he didn't want to succumb yet.

"Bedtime?" He asked Liv, seeing that the boy was in his jammies and he could smell the baby shampoo Olivia used.

"Yeah. He does not get the antibiotic until tomorrow morning."

"Ok." He said as he moved towards Olivia. "Say goodnight to mommy."

"Goodnight sweet boy," Olivia said kissing his forehead. "Thanks, Rafael."

"Not needed. Langan." He said as a farewell. For a man that loved to talk he could say a lot with a single word, Olivia thought as she saw how he went to Noah's room, leaving his shoes in the hall.

"There's something that I need to know?" Langan asked making Olivia look at him.

"About what?" She asked completely clueless about the question as she went to the kitchen to leave the dinner.

"They both are pretty comfortable with each other."

"Yeah, Rafael helps me a lot."

"Ok." Langan didn't seem impressed. "Nothing else?" He tried again.

"No…Oh!" Olivia said once she understood the previous question. "We are just friends."

"Ok."

"Seriously, just friends." She tried to persuade the man.

"It's ok. It's just that he looked like he knows his way around here." He tried not to sound too harsh.

"Yeah." She didn't like the feeling he was giving her, that she had to explain herself but her desire to not have anything to go wrong with the adoption made her take a deep breath and answer her layer. "Since I have Noah we do a lot of after work here. It's easier."

"Oh. I understand." He said. "Well, I'll leave you. If everything it's ok we'll see each other next week." He said while he picked up his things before going to the door.

"Ok. Until next week."

...

After Langan left Olivia went to his son's room to find them. Rafael was sitting on the rocking chair with an almost asleep Noah on his lap, reading one of the many Spanish child books he had brought him.

"Not even the gorillas are that territorial. I think I almost saw some chest beating" He looked so smug when he looked at her that she couldn't stop her smile. "Don't look so proud of yourself counselor, you earned me some uncomfortable questions." She said to him making Rafael laugh a little.

"It won't take much more time," Rafael said.

"Ok. I'm going to start setting the table." She was about to leave but the pout that escaped Rafael's mouth stopped her. "The coffee table next to the sofa." She clarified.

"Perfect." The man smiled at her.

"You know, sometimes I'll ask myself which one is the child between you two." She said leaving the room and hearing his low guffaw.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hello there!_

 _I didn't plan to update so soon. Here's the result of a rainy day and a bit of inspiration. I hope you like it._

 _I love all your comments, it brings me such a joy reading your opinions. I loved the idea of an encounter between Langan and Rafael. I love the protective image of Rafael. I don't discard the possibility of another one._

 _You'll need a little patience, there are still a few more chapters before the two of them have some serious conversations._

* * *

 _Grandmother._

Olivia was sitting on the sofa hearing the shower going. She had known it was bound to happen, but seeing him like this was too painful. She was having a difficult time to stop her tears at his pain.

She had gotten the call about an hour ago. It had been a short one. But she knew what she had to do once she heard the voice at the other end. She left Noah with Lucy and took the car to Rafael's childhood neighborhood. The first time she had gone there she wouldn't have found the place if the gym owner hadn't been waiting for her. But now she knew what the crappy red old door hid behind.

Once inside, the place was old but clean, you could still smell a little sweat in the ambient. The first two times she had been there it had been the consequence of the anger and frustration after a lost case. This time it was going to be different. She could easily assume there are grief and guilt involved.

The first she saw was his bare bake accompanied by the sound of the beatings he gave to the punching bag. It was enough to trigger the memory of the first time she came here and saw him. Olivia would never have pictured him like a boxing guy, even less that he was quite good as an amateur. And how aroused she had felt seeing the sweat drops go down his muscular bare chest and how he filled up the sports black shorts. Right now he was wearing the same outfit. Once she had circled him and was looking at his face, she saw he was punching the bag with his bare hands, he was bleeding and his face was wet not just with sweat.

Olivia had called him with barely a whisper but he didn't stop until her hand touched his shoulder. He looked at her not knowing what to do. She could barely contain her own tears seeing him like this. Seeing how this strong man was crumbling in front of her. With barely a word between them, she grabbed his things, said her thanks to the gym owner and guided him to her car. She made Lucy leave as soon as she could, knowing that Rafael wouldn't like to be seen like this.

Right now she was waiting for him, with her first-aid kid on the coffee table as he took a long hot shower.

Olivia knew he had been hurting with the whole situation, neither her mother or her grandmother agreed with his idea but her grandmother couldn't keep living alone at her place and her mother barely had time to herself with her job. She understood the two strong independent women but the last words he had exchanged with them had hurt him way beyond he had let Olivia see. She knew he was feeling guilty like it was all his fault. She knew he thought if he hadn't pressured them, the woman who had raised him when his mother had two jobs to keep up the family, would still be alive.

Olivia was deep in thought and didn't hear how Rafael came to the living room until he cleared his throat startling her.

"Sorry." He murmured as he went to sit beside her, putting his hands on top of his knees for her inspection.

"Rafi." It was a bit worse than she had thought. She didn't want him to feel guiltier than he was but his name slipped from her lips once she looked at his hands. She took one of them between hers and kissed one of the few spots that had escaped unscarred. "I know you use it to control the stress and rage you feel sometimes. I'll never have anything to say about it but please, next time use your gloves. I hate seeing you hurt." She pleaded him looking at his sad green eyes.

"Ok". They both knew he said it to make her feel better but it wasn't a promise that it wouldn't happen again.

"It's going to hurt." She warned him before she started to clean the wounds with a gauze and antiseptic. She heard him groan but he said nothing. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." He wasn't looking at her.

"I'm not talking just about the wounds."

"I know."

"Do you want to talk?" She offered, knowing that if he wasn't prepared she wasn't going to get any more words from him. "I'm here for you whenever you need."

"I know." He was looking at his hands, seeing how carefully Olivia was cleaning them putting some antibiotic ointment before bandage them for the night. Just with those few touches he already felt a little better. Well, if he was honest with himself her presence alone was enough to him to make things better. "It's just…" He didn't have the strength to say what was on his mind without crying.

"Hey." She grabbed his chin and gently made him look at her. "It's just the two of us. No barriers, no judgments. Just understanding, care, and love" Those were the words he used with her after Lewis. He was the only one who, apart from her therapist, knew everything that had happened, meaning he knew the physical part and psychological one.

Olivia saw the little smile that words brought, making her smile a little bit before grabbing him by his shoulders to hug him. It took him a few seconds to reciprocate, grabbing her tight by her back and burying his face in the crock of her neck. They had stood like this for a while when she felt his tears wetting her skin. He had needed that hug for days but he had been too stubborn to ask for it.

"Shhh…" She started to touch the skin available to her without breaking their embrace. Scratching slowly where his hair raised at the back of his neck. "It's ok. Just let it all out." She whispered him. "I'm not going anywhere." She didn't know how much time they spend hugging. Never stopping her movements until she felt how Rafael pulled away and looked at her.

"I know you'll say it's not my fault, but maybe if I hadn't pushed her, she would be still here."

"Rafi." She didn't say anything to change his mind, she just kept caressing his wrists while they were holdings hands.

"What my mother said to me… It hurt so much."

"She didn't mean it." Olivia tried to calm him.

"It sounded like she did. I think I've never seen her so mad at me."

"Sometimes the grief makes you say things you don't really feel."

"It's just, I love her so much…" His tears were rolling down his face again. "I barely saw her in the past years… I always had work to do. And then I barged in imposing myself, making desitions for her and making her leave her home. I'm feeling so guilty…"

"Rafi…" She wanted to hug him again but before she could do something Noah started to cry from his room. "Sorry…"

"Never… For that little boy, never." He smiled at her despite his tears and she kissed his cheek before she went to his son. It didn't take long to her to bring the boy to the living room.

"Here." She said putting Noah on his lap.

"Raf!" It sounded more like af than Raf but it was enough to make him smile.

"Hola amigo. No tienes sueño. (Hello amigo. Aren't you sleepy?)" He asked kissing the boy's head.

"Nooo!" He said despite his yawn. Lately, that word had been one of his favorites. It was amazing how that little boy could make him feel calmer with just one of his hugs or one of his baby words.

"I'll make some coffee." Olivia offered.

"That would be perfect." He said looking at the boy. He didn't see how she moved closes to him kissing his cheek again and whispering in his ear before she went to the kitchen. "Everything will be ok."

...

They didn't talk more about it. Olivia knew he wouldn't change his feelings tonight. He needed time and when he felt prepared to talk or needed her he would always be there for him.

They started to talk about things in general while Noah fell asleep again on Rafael's lap. They could talk hours, having always something to talk about, even when they didn't agree with something they always found a way to understand the other point of view.

It wasn't until 2 AM when they decided to go to bed. Rafael knew she wouldn't let him out of her sight tonight and he was grateful for it, he didn't want to be alone. He tucked Noah into his crib and found Olivia laying down under the covers. He went to the other side. He was really tired. He had barely slept the last two nights and his breakdown had drained the little strength he still had. They were looking to ceiling, resting beside each other, with the lights off when he heard Olivia's voice.

"I just want to know… Am I going to wake up like the last time you slept in this bed?" If it wasn't for the darkroom he would have seen her blush.

"Liv?" He asked a bit surprised and pleased. "Seriously, I thought we promised not to bring it back." She was biting her lip at his words. "Seriously I thought you would have forgotten." He said.

"How would I ever forgot the night I found my best friend sleeping in my bed, how he stayed in there when I came home to sleep after a rough night of work and how I woke up with said best friend sleeping on top of me with his face buried in my neck and one of his hands inside my t-shirt grabbing one of my breasts." She only heard him groan.

"Olivia!" She knew he was now the one blushing like a teenager. "I said a was sorry."

"And I didn't believe you." They were both laughing. She loved how they could be themselves without a filter between them, how they could always find a common ground even at rough times and how they had their privates jokes. "You looked so smug after I caught you. I'm still not sure you were really sleeping when I woke you up."

"I was." He groaned. "I can't control what I do while I'm sleeping." He said amused.

"So, are you going to control yourself tonight?" She asked again.

"I can't make any promises." He smiled and grabbed her hand. "You love me. Admit it."

"Don't be so cocky counselor." She said squeezing his hand. "Let's sleep. Noah likes to wake up early lately."

"Ok. Good night Liv."

"Good night." Neither of them pulled out before falling asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

_Hello there!_

 _I have taken a little more time to update, I had a bit of inspiration and I'm working on chapters that will go later in the story. I have this short one for anyone who wants to read it._

 _I hope you'll like it. I'm waiting for your comments._

 _Thank you again for all your support. :D!_

* * *

 _Plane_

Olivia knew they weren't happy about it. Letting him make those questions about their deceased friend, dragging her name through the mud. She knew Rafael hadn't made his move, it hadn't been the perfect moment for it yet. And with someone like Yates at the other table, they needed to move perfectly to catch him for what he had done.

She also knew Voight was really mad. From the beginning, he had wanted to do the trial in Chicago and she had convinced him to do it here. But with Rafael's tactics, his trust was sleeping away and he was more than happy to made it know.

When the judge made them stop for the day she knew Voight wanted to confront Rafael, and knowing both men it was highly probable that instead of punches there would be words that would go like swords hitting where they could hurt most. So, as a precaution, she was waiting with Voight, Lindsay, and Amanda for Rafael until her phone started to ring. Making her walk away to answer Finn's call.

...

The first thing Rafael eared once outside the courtroom was the voice of the little boy.

"Raf!" The boy screamed as he ran as fast as a baby of his age could while holding Lucy's hand, and throwing himself into Rafael's arms.

"Hola amigo!" Rafael greeted him too, not caring they were in a public space. "Qué tal tú día? (How was your day?)".

"Good!" The boy smiled at him. Then he looked at Lucy, seeing the girl so sad preoccupied him. When she had called him a while ago he had been surprised. It hadn't been the first time she had to reach him when Liv wasn't available, but every time she called him he had the feeling that something was wrong. And this time he wasn't wrong. There had been some sort of accident in her hometown, a serious one, and four members of her family were at the hospital.

"Everything ok?" He asked Lucy. "Do you need someone to drive you to the airport?"

"No, thanks. I have a taxi waiting for me."

"Ok. If you need anything call me or Liv. Anytime. Understood?" He asked the poor girl who was fighting the tears.

"Yes, Rafael. Thank you so much." He knew that at this rate she was going to cry and Noah would notice even more that something was wrong.

"Ok." He gave her a quick one arm hug. "Go to your family and everything will settle." He didn't want to say everything was going to be ok, not when he didn't have full assurance. "I'll tell Liv everything. And for Noah, don't worry anymore, we'll manage, I already told you so when we were on the phone earlier. Take all the time you need. Ok?"

"Ok." She looked so relieved. "I have to go. Goodbye Noah, we'll see each other soon." She said goodbye to the boy kissing his forehead.

"Goodbye Lucy."

"Be strong," Rafael said.

"I'll try. Goodbye. Say my goodbyes to Olivia."

"Don't worry." He said to her seeing her leave the One Hogan Place.

He didn't know he was being watched by the Chicago squat. He was chatting with Noah, making at him silly faces trying to distract him, despite his age he was quite perceptive and sometimes it was a bit difficult to settle him.

"Mommy." Noah signaled his surprised mother.

"Noah?" She went after him. "What are you doing here?"

"Long story," Rafael answered handling her the boy.

"Hello, sweet boy." She looked at her baby and checked if it was something wrong.

"He's ok," Rafael assured her seeing how she was looking at the boy. "Lucy had to run home, there was some kind of accident with her family. She was too shaken to explain me everything. She couldn't reach you so she called me."

"Is she ok?"

"Mostly scared and worried. I told her to call you once she's there and calmer." He explained.

"Ok. Poor girl."

"Yeah… I already told her to take all the time she needs."

"Thanks." She knew he had done the right thing but without her, it was going to be an odyssey managing the work and Noah.

"We're going to have at least a very enjoyable week."

"I don't need your sarcasm." She could always rely on their banter to feel a little better when they were having a rough time.

"I should get this," Rafael said looking at his ID caller.

"Ok." Giving him some privacy she went to the others, holding Noah. "Give him some space Voight." She said making reference to Rafael.

"But…" Olivia didn't let him continue.

"He's the best. He'll catch him but you need to have a little trust. Or at least trust me, I know him." Voight didn't say anything more. She knew he had seen he was a good ADA but sometimes his temper got the best of him, making him act before think, especially if someone he cared about was hurt.

After he ended his call, Rafael approached them, already prepared to hear more than a few harsh words.

"Hey." He said mostly at Olivia. Grabbing Noah who went to him.

"Don't screw this counselor," Voight said to him, leaving him without one of his quick answers.

"It's not my plan." He assured the other man.

"Mmmm…. Let's go grab something to eat."

"Finn called. We have known information about Lisa's case." Olivia informed Amanda.

"Ok."

As they were saying their goodbyes, Rafael and Olivia moved a bit away unconsciously, not being aware of the other conversation.

"Are they together?" Voight asked Amanda with obvious surprise.

"Don't ask." She was as tired of their little PDA as the rest of the team. "As unbelievable as it seems, they are not." She suspired seeing how her boss said goodbye to her boys with one kiss to each other.

...

"I can't do much more today. We'll run by my place to grab a few things and then we'll go home and I'll prepare something for dinner." He offered, talking about Noah and him.

"Yes, please. It would be wonderful"

"Just wait until tomorrow before asking me a warrant." He smiled smugly.

"Don't try me, counselor." She said before kissing her son's forehead. "I'll see you both later." They kissed each other cheeks before she called Amanda to set pace to the headquarters.


	9. Chapter 9

_Hello there!_

 _Here it's the next one._ _I hope you like it._

 _Thank you all again for your comments and support. It amazes me how much followers this story has. I hope I'll keep your expectations._

 _And sorry if there's some writing mistake._

* * *

 _Shower._

"Olivia, it's everything ok?" He asked as he put Noah on the floor next to his toys. They had been playing for a while when the noise came to the living room. The same one you hear when someone falls to the floor. It came from the bathroom, and Olivia was the only one in there. She had been taking a shower for the last fifteen minutes trying to feel clean again after the interrogation she did before going home.

His anxiousness grew after he heard the shower stop and Olivia didn't give him an answer. "Olivia?" He asked again standing in front of the bathroom door. He didn't want to go inside if it wasn't absolutely necessary, but hearing her grunt in pain made him forget his mother's gentleman teachings she made sure he had. "Olivia!" He screamed this time, as he stepped into the bathroom. Olivia was knocked down in the bathtub grabbing her left shoulder. He didn't look at her naked body but her surprise yelp was enough to make him throw her the big towel that was beside the bathtub.

"Rafael!" She looked at him embarrassed but pained enough not to start throwing things at him. "I'm naked. What were you thinking?"

"You saw me naked once too." He said in a childish attempt to calm her. "And sorry if I wanted to know if you had killed yourself with that noise you made."

"You were wearing underwear!"

"And I've thrown you a towel." He was about to start laughing, despite his worry she seemed good enough to yell at him.

"It's not the same." She said trying to move only to go back at the same position because of the pain she felt and groaned again. "It hurts." She looked like she was barely holding her tears.

"Hey." He kneeled beside the bathtub. "What is it?"

"I fell." She explained.

"I can see that." He tried to not mess too much with her.

"Seriously."

"Ok, I'm sorry." He put his hands on top of the one with she was grabbing her shoulder.

"What happened?"

"Mmmm…." She didn't want to answer him. She was ashamed enough of the situation right now to throw more firewood at the whole thing. She had been really stupid, thinking that dancing in the shower as a stress reliever when she had her shower mat cleaning had been a good idea. "Just help me. I need to get up."

"Can you move your shoulder?" He asked her before doing anything.

"It hurts too much." She was biting her lip.

"Ok. Do you think it's dislocated?"

"I don't know."

"Ok." He said thinking which ones were the safe places on her body to put his hands and help her.

"Just grab me by hips. I think we are adults enough and we have the amount of trust necessary to not overthink what it's about to happen." She knew she was probably being too harsh but she didn't like to be stuck in there.

"Ok. Here we go." Rafael only looked at her eyes while he raised her and held the towel so she could wrap it around her.

Once inside her room, it was his turn to make the uncomfortable question.

"Do you need help?" She only groaned. They both knew she needed it.

"Yes." Olivia murmured. She was a grown-up woman for God's sake.

"Ok." He was waiting for her.

"Just…" She took a deep breath. "Open the first drawer and grab any panties and a pair of socks, in the second one there's a black sports bra that has a fastener. And from the wardrobe, at the left side there are the sports clothes, grab some pants and the big blue sweatshirt with the zipper." She wasn't looking at him while she ordered around.

He didn't look at her after he had all the clothes on the bed.

"Hold the towel, we'll start with the bottoms." He said kneeling in front of her holding her panties. "I'll close my eyes, don't worry." He smiled at her.

"Don't look so smug Rafael." She didn't move until his eyes were closed. It was really hard to not squirm when she felt his hands leave a path of tingles on her skin as he pulled the panties up. And the feeling got worse when he looked at her eyes as he did the same with her sports pants. Lately, it had been harder and harder for her to not acknowledge how he made her feel, with his gazes and touches, the way he cared about her and her son. She knew they had the potential for something really big, but she was too afraid to say anything, even more, when he had been nothing but her best friend all this time.

Unaware of her ramblings Rafael was looking at the sports bra like it was a piece of human torture.

"Just hold it in front of me." She said. "I'll pass my arms and then you help me with the braces."

"Ok." He didn't look sure about it, but he went along.

Once behind her, with the braces in place, he looked at the fastener.

"Afraid of something, counselor." She asked him. "You haven't tried even once."

"Sorry but I know how to untie them not how to fasten them up."

"Rafael!" His crude comment had them both blushing and laughing.

"What?" You've heard far worse."

"Come on Rafi, I want some strong painkillers." She said rushing him.

...

They were sitting in the ER waiting room, after an uneventful trip with a hurt Olivia and a cranky baby. Noah was sitting on Rafael's lap while they waited for Olivia to be looked after with the man helping the boy with the feeding bottle Noah was having for dinner.

It wasn't until he was putting away the bottle with Noah sitting in the stroller after having burped him when they called Olivia. She went to the nurse quickly being really tired of the pain, stopping when he saw Rafael hadn't followed her.

"Rafael?" She asked him concerned. "Are you not coming?" She didn't need to tell him she was afraid, he could see it in her eyes.

"Your husband and son can come with you." The nurse said quickly, making them both blush for the million time this afternoon.

"Thanks." They both said to the woman and followed her to the stretcher.

...

The doctor said she had been lucky. It only was a really bad sprain but she had barely escaped a dislocating her shoulder. It was because of that she wouldn't be able to lift any weight in the next two weeks. Hence why she didn't feel that lucky. It was too much time when you have a baby. She knew it would drive her insane even when Rafael had already offered to crash at her place. Right now, the only thing she was grateful for was the strong painkiller and muscle relaxant she had been given to stop her pain and the sling to make her more comfortable.

But the medications didn't come without a price. On the way home, she had started to feel funny. Her eyes were shinier and she couldn't stop smiling and laughing for nothing. Not seeing how Rafael looked at her with a knowing smile as the doctor had warned him that sometimes this kind of medication could have this side effect. At least they had brought the stroller so he would only have to carry on of them.

After he parked her car, Olivia didn't give Rafael much fight when he grabbed her by the waist with one hand and with the other on the stroller made their way to her place. He put a sleeping Noah in his crib after leaving Olivia laying on her bed, under the covers with a cushion under her left shoulder.

Once he entered Olivia's bedroom again she looked like she was sleeping. He grabbed one of her crapy NYPD shirts to sleep with, folded his clothes and went to the other side of the bed only wearing the shirt and his boxers.

He closed his eyes as his back made contact with the mattress, his tiredness made him more than ready to fall asleep. But the movement he felt beside him made him open his eyes. He didn't see anything as the room was summed in darkness but he felt how Olivia moved closer to his body. She put her left arm on his chest and nuzzled his neck kissing it.

"Liv?" He asked surprised. She didn't say anything, she only nuzzled his neck again while one of her legs made herself at home nestling between his thighs. "Liv?" He tried again. He didn't want to leave the bed. It was comfier than the sofa and Olivia might need him at some point of the night and he wanted to be there for her.

"You are the best Rafi." She murmured on his neck.

"Olivia." He said a bit more serious. As much as he loved her attention he didn't want her to do anything she would regret in the morning, even less when she wasn't fully aware of what she was doing.

"It's the truth." She had stopped her movements, but the feeling of her body resting almost on top of his was enough to make him aroused. It might not be the best position for her but he had the feeling she didn't want to be moved.

"Ok." He didn't know what to say right now. "Thanks?"

"You are my everything. You and Noah are. You are always there when I need you or not. I love it. I love you." Thank God she was nestled on his neck and she couldn't see his face.

"You should sleep." He tried.

"Don't you love me?" She asked him pouting making him smile at the bizarreness of the situation. He had had more than a few dreams when they were like this, but in none of them, she was in this drunkenness like state.

"Of course I love you." He might have said it to please her but his statement was nothing but the truth of his feelings. But right now he needed her to fall asleep so he could try to calm himself and try to make his hard-on go away. In his desperation, he decided to start massaging the base of her skull, scratching it lightly.

"Mmmm…" She moaned softly into his neck making him bite as lustful thoughts popped into his brain. "So good."

"Sleep." He ordered.

"Ok." Her voice sounded sleepier and her breathing slowed until he felt her body succumb to the medication. It was his moment to breathe again.

Despite the doctor warns, Olivia's words made his brain overthink. What if her words were her deepest secrets, the ones she was afraid to say aloud? What if the medication had made her barriers to go away? Since the moment they had met he had been attracted to her. He still felt it but now it was accompanied by the deepest love he had ever felt and the deepest fear too. He wanted much more than what they had but their relationship was amazing and he didn't know how he would keep on his life if he lost her.

Probably it wasn't the best time to do this heavy thinking when he couldn't keep his eyes open. Rafael kissed her air as she slept soundly with her head resting on his shoulder and let his tiredness win, thinking that maybe during the next two weeks he would see something that would make him take the final step.

* * *

 _I wanted to say that I know nothing about medicine and I might have taken some liberties with it._

 _And as a little spoiler alert, there aren't much more chapters until one of them do the right thing. I'm still working on it._


	10. Chapter 10

_Hello there! Sorry for the delay but I'm having some problems trying to write what I have on my mind for the next chapters. Here I leave this one while I'm fighting with the next ones._

 _I got the inspiration seeing a movie with my goddaughter, she's almost three._

 _I hope you like it! I'll try not to need much more time than a week before I post the next one._

 _Thank you all for your comments. I was really nervous about the medication thing, I loved that you liked it._

* * *

 _Movie._

Rafael was looking the thick drops of rain fall through the window with Noah. They had been falling nonstop for the last few hours, so much they had barely arrived dry at Olivia's place.

The last two weeks had passed in a blur, with a precarious balance of work and parenthood. Taking care of a little boy whose mother wasn't allowed to lift any weight, while Rafael's paperwork grew faster than he managed to do it. He would have loved to have a few more hours of sleep each night, but at the end, they had managed. Although, one of this days they should give Lucy a great gift.

Today he had accompanied Olivia and Noah to the doctor, where she had been given the all-clear so she could do her usual life. Since the moment Rafael heard the doctor words a strange feeling had taken place in his heart. It wasn't enough to not let him enjoy their company but it was enough to let Olivia see how his smiles weren't his true happy ones. She had said nothing to him, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

But what he didn't know was that he wasn't the only one having these feelings. Just the thought of Rafael going back to his place after the two weeks saddened Olivia so much. During these two weeks, she had made some deep thinking. She knew she was in love with him. But she was terrified. She had been hurt before, and in those times she didn't feel even a half of what she felt for this man. They had lived in a bubble for the last two weeks. Behaving like a family without the sex part between the adults and she had loved it. She didn't want to go back where he wasn't with them full time. Olivia had also started to believe her feelings were corresponded, seeing how Rafael's touches lingered more and more or the way he didn't wait to fall asleep to cuddle her on the bed every night, but she hadn't done anything yet, she didn't want to have the sling in the middle.

On the way home, they had crossed paths with one of their favorite restaurant with delivery service. Rafael had offered to buy dinner and have the last meal together before he packed all the things he had brought over, in an obvious attempt to delay his return to his normal life.

During those days a warm feeling had settled in him. The sight of the two of them at home when he arrived after a rough day at work made his heart flutter. Sharing the meals and telling each other about their day had been amazing. He and Olivia had done it before, but this time it had felt different. They had lived in a bubble of bliss, letting them see how it could be between them.

As they were returning home, dark clouds had begun to settle in the sky and the rain started to fall when they were just a block from Olivia's place. It seemed like it was going to be a good storm.

Rafael's supposition came true a few hours later. They had eaten their dinner and they had been playing with Noah and the rain hadn't stop yet.

"We could see a movie." She offered, making Rafael look away from the window.

"Isn't he too small?" Rafael asked with curiosity.

"I know he won't pay attention to all of it but he'll be entertained. I'm just hoping he'll fall asleep." She confessed. "I'm tired and he's cranky." She said to him while Rafael tried unluckily to calm Noah. "And you aren't succeeding either. He needs his nap."

"Ok. Don't say anything more, I'm convinced." He smiled.

"The other day I found The little mermaid on tv and he seemed to like it."

"What?" He asked.

"Are you going to say you don't know that movie it's?" She asked him smirking.

"Of course I know which one it's." He said defensive.

"Have you seen it?"

"I'm not usually interested in cartoon movies."

"Well then, it's settled. We'll see The little mermaid." She announced. "Sit on the couch and give me five minutes." She went to the kitchen while he did what she had told him amazed, not even his mother was capable to make him do half of the things Olivia did with more than a few words to convince him.

Not even ten minutes had passed when Rafael found himself sitting on the sofa with his feet were on the coffee table. He had Olivia snuggled on his side, resting her head on his shoulder and Noah sitting on his lap looking at the movie with absolute amazement. Olivia had brought him scotch and wine for her but both drinks laid forgotten on the coffee table, preferring to see how Noah signaled all the fishes that appeared on the screen.

...

Rafael was surprised how much Noah had stayed awake, he had almost seen the three first quarters of the movie.

"At last," Olivia said once she saw Noah sleeping on Rafael's chest and moved to grab the remote.

"Hey." He said to her stopping her movements. She smiled at him mischievously.

"Do you want to keep seeing the movie, Rafael?" She asked already knowing the answer.

"I just want to know how it ends."

"It's a Disney movie. You can imagine it." She teased him.

"You never know. And the crab it's funny." He only hopped his blush wasn't too marked. The film had caught his attention.

"Ok counselor. But my silence it's not free." She said as she picked up her position again, resting on Rafael's side. The arm he had above her, resting on the sofa, went to her shoulders and he started to massage her neck slightly making her groan a bit.

"Are you going to say specifically what do you want from me or am I going to have to do things for you until you think my debt it's paid?" It was his time to tease her a bit.

"Don't go there Rafi." She looked at him making him squirm under her gaze. "Or I'm going to choose the second option." She smiled at him before she turned to look at the movie. "And shut up now. You aren't letting me see the movie."

"Says the one who wanted to stop it." That earned him a pinch on his side making him laugh.

They didn't say anything more as the movie went. He kept his movements on Olivia's neck while they were relaxed on the sofa seeing how Ariel and Eric spend the day together. The next scene came. In there, the two personages were sitting on a tiny boat and he felt Olivia go stiff on his side.

"Everything ok?" He asked as his hand rummaged on her hair.

"Mmmm…" She didn't say any word out loud. He only knew she had answered him when he felt her nod on his shoulder.

Olivia tried to relax but she couldn't. Despite being a kid's movie, the scene that was about to come, had her holding her breath. She had seen the movie before and she knew more or less the words they were about to hear.

Rafael was trying not to worry at her reaction. Until now everything had been perfect. His mind rambled thinking about all the possible scenarios until the music started. At first, it was just another silly song but after a few words, he understood Olivia's stiffness.

 _Percussion, strings, winds, words_

 _There you see her; sitting there across the way_

 _She don't got a lot to say; but there's something about her_

 _And you don't know why; but you're dying to try_

 _You wanna kiss girl_

 _Yes, you want her_

 _Look at her, you know you do; It's possible she wants you too_

 _There's one way to ask her; It don't take a word, not a single word_

 _Go on and kiss the girl, kiss the girl_

He tried to see her face from the corner of his eyes, but he couldn't. He didn't want to move, not even an inch, too afraid to break the spell. How could it be that a Disney song had put perfectly on words one of his biggest desires? He felt like a teenager again, along with his first love.

Olivia didn't move either. She seemed too concentrated on the screen. Like she didn't want him to notice he wasn't the only one trying not to fidget.

 _Sha la la la la la_

 _My oh my_

 _Looks like the boy's too shy_

 _Ain't gonna kiss the girl_

 _Sha la la la la la_

 _Ain't that sad_

 _Ain't it a shame, too bad_

 _You're gonna miss the girl_

When the chorus came, he knew he wasn't paying attention to the movie anymore. He only heard the words sang _._

 _Now's your moment; floating in a blue lagoon_

 _Boy, you better do it soon; no time will be better_

 _She doesn't say a word; and she won't say a word_

 _Until you kiss that girl_

He felt her move, snuggling closer to him if it was possible, and the weight of her hand as it landed on his thigh was like fire. He gathered strength and moved his head to see her face. She was bitting the left corner of her lower lip. And like the first time he had seen her do that, a wave of arousal went through his body. And every time it was harder and harder to control it. He was so concentrated on her that he didn't notice how the movements of his hand became bolder and they went further on her skin, making her really hard to quiet her moans.

 _Sha la la la la la_

 _Don't be scared_

 _You got the mood prepared_

 _Go on and kiss the girl_

 _Sha la la la la la_

 _Don't stop now_

 _Don't try to hide it how_

 _You wanna kiss the girl_

 _Sha la la la la la_

 _Float along_

 _And listen to the song_

 _The song say kiss the girl_

 _Sha la la la la la_

 _Music play_

 _Do what the music say_

 _You gotta kiss the girl_

Maybe it was his moment. As he lied on her bed, after their trip to the ER, he had promised himself he would look after any signal from her.

 _You've got to kiss the girl_

 _Why don't you kiss the girl_

 _You gotta kiss the girl_

 _Go on and kiss the girl_

The had spent the last two weeks in their usual banter with touches, jokes and their usual flirting.

There had been moments between them, but in every one he had stopped his actions, not wanting to possibly start something they couldn't finish. But this moment was way heavier. Maybe they were listening to a child's song but they were affected by the words it said.

"Liv." Her name slipped from his lips, catching her attention. She looked at him, Her pupils were dilated. He knew his were too. The hand he had on the base of her skull moved to her jawline and his fingers touched her cheek as her hand grabbed harder his thigh. He saw her tongue appear between her parted lips moistening them. The growl he made ran deep in his chest.

They were looking at each other eyes while their faces moved closer and closer. He only could hear his heart, beating hard and fast.

Olivia felt his breath on her lips. She knew they were going to kiss. Since the moment she realized her feelings, she had been terrified of the "what if's?" but now she couldn't find any single reason to stop what was going between them. It felt natural and good.

They were a few inches apart until a ringtone made them both jump and separate. Not having Noah in her arms made her easier to grab Rafael's phone from the coffee table.

"It's your mother." She said blushing after looking at the ID caller. "Sorry I shouldn't have…"

"Hey." He said grabbing her hand, the one she had the phone with. "It's ok." She could see he was blushing too. "There's nothing on the phone you can't see." They smiled at each other. "But I better answer her call."

"Yeah." She said as he grabbed his phone.

"Hola Mami." He greeted his mother as Olivia picket Noah from his arms, giving him room to move. She wanted to go away but his hand was on her thigh now. The skin under his hand was burning. "Dame un Segundo (Give me a sec)" Olivia didn't know how much time he had been talking with his mother, being too concentrated on his hand. "Sorry." He made her look at him. "It's just…" He murmured.

"It's ok. Talk to her. I'll put Noah in his crib." She tried to reassure him.

"Thanks." He said before standing up. She was about to take a deep breath when she felt him near her again. "Just to let you know, I'm going to pick up where we were before this thing…" He said referring to the phone, not moving his gaze from hers. "Started to sound." He didn't say anything more, he only kissed her forehead and went to the kitchen to talk with his mother. She didn't move from her spot on the couch, asking herself if someone could spontaneously combust from an almost kiss.

* * *

 _I know it might be a little cliché but when I saw the movie for the first time in a long time the image came to my mind and I had to write it. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did writing it._


	11. Chapter 11

_Hello there. I'm sorry, I know it had been almost a month since the last update but I have been struggling a lot with this chapter and the next one. I hope you like it._

 _This is the first part of a longer chapter. I hope the next part it's going to be done by the ends of this week. I'm trying to be as realist as I can._

 _I'm already waiting for your opinions. I love all your comments and I'm really happy you like this story._

* * *

 _Words (I)_

"It's my son. I'm his mother. I'm the one who makes the choices, not you." Her whole body was trembling with anger. For the first time since they had met, she wasn't caring for her words anymore. The rage she felt towards him, right now, was so strong. Her subconscious had wanted to hurt him. And she had done it. Rafael stayed quiet while she replayed her words in her mind, standing in front of him with her mouth open. Feeling terrified and ashamed of what she had done. It was the first time she had said to him something like this. She felt terrible. But she felt her heart crush when she saw his face. His lips whore a sad smile and his beautiful green eyes were red and watered. "Raf… I'm…" She tried to say but he didn't let her.

"Don't." He murmured like he couldn't speak. "Do you know the funny thing? You don't have to say you are sorry. You didn't lie to me or insult me. You just said the truth, your beloved truth." He was crying now. His tears falling down his face. He didn't want her to see him like this, he didn't want her to see how hurt he was. Despite the heartless face he gave to the world, in truth, he felt very deeply. Olivia knew it had taken him a lot of time before he had let her see this side of him, and she had crushed him with just a few words.

They were standing, looking at each other frozen. Rafael could see she was affected by her words too but he didn't want to talk to her anymore, he only wanted to go away.

"Rafi…" Her voice was gentle, the one she used with the victims and he didn't want that. He didn't want her pity. He could see her hand moving slowly, trying to reach him but Noah's cries interrupted her movements. It was probably their fault, the kid could sleep like the dead but they hadn't been quiet in making their opinions known.

They were standing, looking at each other frozen. Rafael could see she was affected by her words too but he didn't want to talk to her anymore, he only wanted to go away.

"Rafi…" Her voice was gentle, the one she used to the victims and he hated it. He could see her hand moving slowly, trying to reach him but Noah's cries interrupted her movements. It was probably their fault, the kid could sleep like the dead but they hadn't been precisely quiet.

Olivia left the room knowing she wouldn't find him in the room once she came again and probably it was for the best. It wouldn't be the first time they had needed some time apart as it hadn't been their first argument outside of work. They both had strong temperaments and more than once it had taken the best of them. But it was the first time she feared they wouldn't be able to fix it.

As Rafael walked to his place while his mind was wandering. He didn't know how his concern had turned to that horrible argument. After their movie night, a month ago, they had gone through an overboard of work. Neither of them had wanted to start something they couldn't end and the days started to pass turning into weeks and now it had been a month since that night. And if they hadn't enough work, Jonny D came across making his life a hell. And if it wasn't a case tough enough, that criminal had to be Noah's birth father. And Olivia had to do what it was right. He loved that part of her but more than once it drove him crazy.

When she had told him, his first reaction was to stay silent. They wouldn't do anything wrong legally. And he hadn't been the only one with this thought. But Olivia wanted the truth, and now the man was asking for his parental rights. He was prepared to fight for them until the end, but Olivia wasn't making his job easy.

After he had told her the news, they had barely spoken. And as the day went his worry for her grew, making him go at her place after work to check on her. He just wanted to make a quick visit and try to reassure her, give his support and remind her he was going to be by her side all the time. But at some point, his words hadn't been the correct ones. With their personalities, it was a foolish to think they wouldn't disagree. But until today, they had always found common ground in which they would understand the other's opinion whether they shared it or not. But this time it had been different. His good intentions had only escalated to a hell of an argument. And right now Rafael didn't know if they would find a way to sort it out.

Over the afternoon Olivia tried to reach him with calls and texts but she only to found his voicemail and unread messages at the end.

Trying to soothe herself she tough maybe his silence was the best decision, making them take some time apart to cool off and think about the feelings involved in all this.

...

Today was supposed to be a day of bliss. Yesterday the social services had given her their final ok at Noah's adoption, but her heart was hurting. Her squad was due at her place in an hour to celebrate it and she didn't know if her best friend was going to be there. It had been a week since their argument and it had been a week since Rafael had talked to her. He had remained civil during their work meetings but he hadn't made any other contact. Olivia was re-reading the words she had just send him, the ones below her other unanswered messages.

 _O: Are you going to come?_

It was the first time she had to confirm his presence.

Olivia was looking at the words, remembering how two weeks ago they had talked how they were going to celebrate it while they had a quick lunch in the middle of the chaos of work. She remembered how he had assured her a million of times that everything was going to go perfect and how he had started to plan their small celebration the same day she had the meeting with the social services. It had been a little breeze of happiness. But instead of that perfect image, she had spent the night alone with a crying baby, who didn't understand why his favorite playmate wasn't there to play with him and read him his bedtime story.

This time she attempts to hide her feelings hadn't been successful. Over the week Lucy had asked her a few times if something bad had happened and she knew her squad hadn't asked her because they didn't want to upset her more. He was her best friend. He was the man she loved. She had felt and seen his desire and love when they had almost kissed a few weeks ago. But now the wall between them was too tall and she didn't know if they would overtake it.

She was deep in thought until the buzz on the phone made her focus again.

 _R: Do you want me to?_

It was from Rafael. They were just a few words, but they were enough to give her a little bit of hope.

 _O: Yes._

 _O: We should talk._

This time she didn't receive any answer. Maybe she had pushed more than he was prepared too.

...

Even with her squad there she couldn't stop fidgeting, her whole body trembling with nervousness, thinking if he's going to come. Hoping none of the presents would ask her for him because she didn't know if she could say anything without starting to cry.

They had been there for two hours, chatting easily and making silly jokes when her doorbell rang. Once she opened the door she was left speechless at his looks. Rafael was wearing one of his light suits without a tie and Olivia wished there were some suspenders under his jacket.

"Hey." It was the only thing she managed to say, trying not to look too desperate while her blush was covering her down to her neck.

"Hey." They had apparently turned into a couple of teenagers.

"Come on in." She said. "I think someone is going to be really happy to see you." She had barely said the words when they heard Noah's happy squeal when he saw Rafael from Fin's arms.

"Hola amigo!" He greeted the little boy taking him in his arms starting to chat with him in his baby language.

...

The hours passed, they filled their bellies with food but Rafael kept himself away from Olivia. Splitting his time between playing with Noah and chatting with the others. While she looked at him from afar, too afraid he would leave if she moved closer to him, she thanked that her team was smart enough to not acknowledge the elephant in the room. It was evident something was really wrong between them.

Her baby had tried to keep with them but at the end, he fell asleep in his mother's arms when almost everybody had left. She went to his bedroom not noticing how Fin followed her.

"Hey baby girl," Fin said to her while she looked at her baby boy sleeping without a care in his crib. She was so tired, physically and emotionally.

"Fin."

"You know you can talk to me, right?" He asked her putting his arm around her shoulders and brought her to his chest. Giving her the last push she needed. She didn't know how many times she had cried during the past week. "Liv." He was hugging her completely now, letting her keep her sobs quiet with his shirt. "Hey…" It was the first time she had seen her so crushed. He knew she had been under a lot of stress in the last two weeks, with the final steps of Noah's adoption and Jonny D's trial, but this didn't seem a stress reliever cry. He knew something had happened to her, something big, and the counselor was in the middle of it. "It's going to be ok." He tried to calm her.

"No." She said between sobs. "It won't."

"Ok, now I'm really worried. What did you do?" He asked her making her look at him.

"How do you know it's my fault?" She looked so tired. The sobs had stopped but the tears not. "I'm a cop too. I can put two and two together. And you look so hurt Liv, normally I've seen you more like angry when it's the other one's fault." He said making her smile a bit. "You haven't been yourself this last week and the counselor… it has been harder to work with him these last days."

He said trying not to be too harsh. She stayed silent while he kept hugging her by the shoulders, giving her his silent support and time to voice her problems if she wanted to share them. He knew how reserved she was, even after all these years he had to fight her every time he knew her little sister needed his help. But this time she was opening to him quite quickly and he didn't know if he was supposed to be happy or really worried. "I'm not saying it's only your fault, we both know he can be a bit pig-heated." Fin said trying to lighten the mood.

"We both are." She said laughing a bit at Fin's comment. "And you can say it. He can be a real pain in the ass." It was his turn to laugh. "We weren't that subtle, eh?"

"No, you weren't." Fin said smiling. "You don't have to be a cop to see it, Liv." He said seeing how Olivia's face was surprised. "Do you really need me to say it?". He asked.

"We…" She started but Fin interrupted her.

"I'm just going to say that I still perfectly remember the day you called him Rafa in the middle of the squad room. I thought he was going to murder you but he didn't even bat his eyes. He just kept discussing with you the case we had at the moment." She smiled at the memory, remembering how she had gone still for a second after his nickname had slipped from her lips. "And I've heard you call him Rafi when you think you two are alone."

"Oh Good!" She was embarrassed now. She hadn't realized about that one.

"He loves you." Fin said simply.

"I screwed up so much," Olivia admitted.

"Then talk to him. I don't like seeing you like this. You are supposed to be ecstatic. No one can't take away your baby now. And… once I'm gone through that door I'm going to deny it but… I don't like seeing him like this neither."

"Me neither. But he hasn't let me say anything to him."

"Maybe he needs actions more than words." He said plainly.

"What?" She asked looking at him like he had said something crazy.

"You can be so naïve, Liv." Fin knew he shouldn't say what he was going to say but those two could be so stupid sometimes that it was surreal. "Baby girl." He said sounding a bit exasperated. "I know you don't have the best relationship record." He started carefully. "But the man you claim it's so mad at you that he isn't going to speak to you never again is the one who I have seen taking care of Noah like he was his own flesh and blood son. Not caring what the others think of him when one of the more badass ADA makes him funny faces in the middle of the precinct or the courtrooms or when he shares his snacks or soothes him when he cries or he is just there when one of you two need him. And he's the one who is washing your dishes right now." Olivia didn't know what to say and Fin smiled at her face. "He hasn't left yet." He smiled at her. "You two weren't precisely subtle this last year." She bitted her lip and tried not to blush too much.

"We're just friends," Olivia said.

"Don't try to deny it but it's obvious there's something more between you two." She didn't say anything at his words, she only stood there giving him a silent affirmation. "Just go for it, make him clear what you want."

"Mmm…"

"Hey." He said making her look at him. "I'm being serious, you need to fix it. I'm not saying this for your shake or Barba's. It's for me too." Since the moment she met him she had always been capable to make her laugh.

"Ok."

"I'm taking your word baby girl. But I don't want to know anything, it's enough to know you are happy."

"Ok."

"And do it by the book. I don't want you transferred or have to train another ADA. Do you hear me?"

"I'll have that in mind." She said kissing his cheek.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes." She assured him.

"Ok. I'm leaving then." He said kissing her forehead. "Just remember that I don't want to know anything. It's enough with your love glances." She heard him say before leaving the room.

Olivia stayed there a few more minutes, looking at her sleeping baby. He looked so carefree. Sometimes she regretted her closed up personality, that didn't let her rely more on her friends. Even when she knew they accepted her like she was, she couldn't stop her instinct and hide behind her walls. With Rafael that loneliness had disappeared so easily that the last week had been a nightmare. Not having him beside her had hurt her so much.

She knew she had strong feelings for him since the beginning of their friendship. At first, they weren't quite clear but when Noah came into their lives she knew wasn't the right moment. She had pushed her feelings deep down and tried not to think too much about every little thing he did for her or Noah.

It had been really difficult to not act upon them when he had crashed with her the two weeks she had her arm on a case after her accident in the shower. She had let herself be swamped by his care, with longer touches on the skin, chaste kisses on the cheeks or forehead or holding hands when they went to sleep sharing her bed or snuggling together in the middle of it.

She still was afraid to lose him but, they were at a point that if she didn't make her feelings known she would have to keep her distance from him because if they continued like this she knew she wouldn't let any other man came close to her.


	12. Chapter 12

_Here is the second part of the chapter, at the end, I have only taken one more day than what I had planned to update. I really hope you like it._

 _As always, thank you so much for your comments. I'm amazed how much followers and favorites this story has gotten._

 _I'm waiting for your opinions. :D_

* * *

 _Words (II)_

Olivia closed the door of her son's room, taking a deep breath, and quietly went to the kitchen. She didn't cross the threshold, resting her body on the wall and looked at the man in front of her. He hadn't heart her or she had assumed so because he hadn't moved an inch. Rafael was grabbing the kitchen sink with his hands. Olivia could see how the muscles of his bare forearms were tight, supporting his weight, as had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. Rafael's broad shoulders, marked by the black suspenders, carried too much sorrow tonight. She couldn't see his face, but it seemed like he was looking to the infinite. She had always wondered how he could hide his figure under his suits, remembering how pleasurably surprised she had been the first time she had seen what those blazers hid. But this time, the guilt she was feeling didn't let her enjoy this beautiful sight of him. He looked so defeated.

"Rafael…" She called him quietly. At first, he didn't say anything. But, before she said anything more, she heard him sigh.

"Olivia…" His voice was tired. He looked at her eyes, really looked at her for the first time since Monday. The bags under his eyes were as deep as hers, and his whole body screamed his exhaustion. Her hand moved, trying to reach him. "Look..." He stopped her movements with his voice.

He took a deep breath while she bitted her lip with anxiousness. "I've been thinking..."

"Me too." She wanted to touch him so badly that it hurt.

"I can't do this anymore Liv…" He looked at her with such sadness. Her alarms started to scream in her brain, this conversation wasn't supposed to start like this. "You were right, I'm nothing. I know I have overstepped, but you seemed fine with it and…" Rafael didn't say much more as Olivia crushed her lips with his. She had moved so fast he only had time to put his hands on her shoulders, not pushing her away just letting her stay in his space.

Olivia felt him go stiff but, he didn't push her away, giving her more resolve to keep her assault. Her hands moved to his hair, scratching the base of his skull gently. Not stopping until he started to kiss her back and she felt his hands on her hips.

She knew he would be a good kisser but what she was feeling right now went beyond her imagination. His lips were attacking her without giving her any rest, alternating soft caresses and small bites making her moan, while his stubble scratched her skin giving her goosebumps. He took advantage of her open mouth, slipping his tongue inside as he crushed her to his chest, surrounding her everywhere. Her skin was on fire, her lungs were burning, and her knees were about bend. She needed to breathe, but he kept his attack. If it wasn't because he was holding her, she would already be on her knees. At the end he stopped, resting his forehead on top of her's. Being both breathless.

"Damn…" She didn't have the strength to say anything coherent yet. His hands felt so good on her skin. They were warm and strong on her back. "When did you do that?" She asked him amazed. She had been so overwhelmed by the kiss. She hadn't noticed how he had let her hair down, rolled down the zipper of her dress and untied her bra.

"I told you I knew how to untie them." They both laughed at his silly recall.

"Rafa…" She murmured on his lips.

"I know… we need to talk." He kissed her chastely on the lips.

"Yeah…" His kisses draw a path towards her cheek and neck, making her moan again. "You should let me go first." She got to say between sighs. He was too good at this, and they hadn't arrived at the really hot stuff yet.

"Ok." He said between bites on her neck.

"Rafa…" She was feeling too hot. "Wait." She pushed him lightly with her hands on his chest. "I can think if you keep doing this." She admitted flustered. The mischievous smile she saw on his lips was paired with the desire in his eyes. "I'm going to go change while you go to sit on the couch and then we'll talk."

"Ok." Neither of them was moving.

"Ok." She was mesmerized by his eyes. "I'll…" She said.

"If you don't go now I'm going to start kissing you again." He said as his arms loosened their grip on her body and took a step back. Their eyes burning with desire.

He didn't breathe until she had left the kitchen. His lips were already wearing a smile. His heart was overflowing with happiness. For a split of a second, he had been prepared to take a step back from her, even when it would have destroyed him. And now after that kiss, he could only think how it would have been one, if not, the stupidest idea possible.

...

He sat on the sofa nursing a cup of scotch. He was looking at the coup of wine he had brought her, thinking hard until a caring hand scratched his hair.

"Don't do that." He said to her.

"You don't like it." She was being quite seductive tonight.

"I like it too much and you know it." He said grabbing her hand and pushing her lightly to make her sit with him, settling a save distance between them.

They had been sitting together, holding hands for a few minutes, with a comfortable silence between them when her voice caught his attention.

"Were you really going to…?" She asked, still a bit worried about his previous words.

"Just for a second." He admitted. "I'm not going to say it would have been one of my best moves, but yes."

"No, it wouldn't." She smiled sadly at him. "Why?" She murmured. "I know I hurt you a lot. I'm so sorry for saying those words. But were they really that much to not fight?" He wasn't looking at her.

"My father wasn't the best role model." He said squeezing her hand for a moment. "And I might have had too much time alone this last week."

"You haven't been sleeping again." It wasn't a question, they both knew about his non-existing sleeping patterns. "Me neither."

"I started to think about the past and I got afraid that someday that part of him would arise from me. I never would forgive myself." He confessed her.

"Rafael." She called him making him look at her eyes. "I would never…"She stopped looking at his eyes. "You are the best father Noah could have." She said caressing his cheek. "You might be the funnier one, playing with him, reading him with your funny voices and conspiring with him to persuade me and have junk food a few more times that I would let him. But you also take care of him and know when to reprimand him or stop one of his tantrums." Their eyes were starting to wetter again. "I've seen you not doing things you like because of him or me, and you weren't mad about it, you do it because you want to." She kissed his lips chastely.

"Liv…" He murmured. He didn't know what to say after those words.

"And the funny thing it's that you passed all my barriers without activating any of my alarms. When I realized it, we were so close it hurt not having you beside me always."

"You are going to make me cry. I'm supposed to be the strong one"

"Honey, you are already crying." She said taking one of his tears with her hands.

"At least I'm not the only one." He said before kissing one of hers. "We are a pair of softies." They both laughed a bit.

"You know…" She was looking at him seriously now. "The spot it's yours if you want it."

"Liv?" He didn't want to assume but his brain was already going one step ahead.

"Because if we take this step it's for the long haul. Noah and I are a pack." She was biting her lip nervously.

"Liv… I would never… I…" He was stumbling over what he wanted to say. "Yes." He smiled at her before kissing those beautiful lips of hers. "I want it all." He kissed her again and again between smiles that reached their ears. She could count on one hand the times she had been this happy and if she thought it, this man was almost in all of them. "Te amo. (I love you.)" She knew enough Spanish to know what he had murmured on her lips. She went rigid in his arms. "Was it too soon?" He asked preoccupied.

"I…" She didn't say anything more but her face wasn't an angry one, Olivia was just surprised again by Rafael. "I… I love you too." She let herself drop between his arms, pushing him to lay on the couch with her on top.

The kisses started again and quickly escalated until they were making out on the couch like horny teenagers. His hands started to wonder under her sweatshirt while her's were grabbing his hair, making him stay in place until she heard his surprise.

"You little vixen…" He said bitting her neck. "Where is your bra?" He asked as he scratched her back, making her mewl on his neck.

"I thought I wouldn't need it." She was too hot to say anything more elaborated.

"You and your thinking ahead." How could he still be speaking like a normal person, she asked herself. One of his hands went down on her but, squeezing it as his mouth did wonders on her neck, she didn't care if he let a mark on her. "What about your panties?" She couldn't do much more than say a breathless no in his ear. It was true she hadn't been intimate with someone for a very long time but she didn't know if she had felt something like this before until she heard his words. "We should stop." It took her a few seconds to gather herself.

"What?" She didn't want to get mad at him.

"I…" He was looking at her with such love that it made her really difficult to be angry at him.

"Am I going to be able to get mad at you anymore?" She asked him putting her forehead on top of his as his arms hugged her.

"I'll let you a few times per year." He earned himself a smack form her. "I just want our first time to be memorable." They were both with their eyes closed breathing each other scent. "You should be only a woman, a lover. And make all the noise you want. And have all the time in the world"

"You are pretty sure of yourself counselor." He knew she was smiling.

"I have my skills."

"I like it quiet and full of emotion too." He was now looking at her deep brown eyes.

"You sure?"

"Yes." She said but before she could kiss him again he had managed to grab her and started to carry her to her bedroom. He put her on top of the bed and went to close the door. His eyes were burning with desire. But before he came to her again he went to the shelve and put the baby monitor on. She would never understand how he could have doubts about his capability of being a father but she would never get tired of reminding him how good he already was without consciously trying.

He started to unbutton his shirt, without looking away from her. Once he was only in his underwear, he climbed on top of her. She was trembling under his gaze. Rafael grabbed the edge of her sweatshirt to take it off.

"Now you won't need to feign being asleep to grab my breasts." She said to him knowing how much he liked them, leaving him for a few seconds speechless. During those two weeks when he crashed with her because of her shoulder they had woken up in the same position almost every morning.

"Olivia."

"What? Now you are going to say you don't like them'." They both knew their lovemaking would be a playful one.

"You'll be the death of me," He said now looking at her breasts but not touching them yet.

"You should be thanking me because it would be the best one." He didn't answer her, he only growled before attacking her.


	13. Chapter 13

_Hello there! Sorry for the delay but here is the next one. This one it's a little more lighthearted. I hope you like it._

 _As always I'm already waiting for your opinions. And thank you all for your support, it gives me a lot of joy!_

* * *

 _Lawyers_

Sometimes his life sucked.

He loved his work, but right now his feelings toward the pile of paperwork in front of him were conflicted. He had been sitting behind his desk for over three hours now, and his plan wasn't going as he had designed to. He was supposed to stay a bit longer at work than his usual for a Friday afternoon, so he could end his paperwork, and have a free weekend with his family. He loved the sound of that single word every time it slipped into his mind or his mouth.

But he was having serious problems with his well-planned work schedule. It all had started with a few messages, between him and Olivia, after their quick lunch together.

After their official disclose, during their first week as a couple, when their bosses had only requested professionalism at work and a period of trial of six months, leaving them pleasantly surprised, they tried to keep said professionalism during work hours. But, it was too easy to let their friendly banter escalate into a deep flirtatious conversation that could make anyone blush like a maid.

This last month had quickly become one of the best of his life. Once their misunderstanding was solved, after Noah's adoption party, and they spent their first night together, being one of the most passionate nights of his life, this new stage of their lives started. Maybe it hadn't been time enough to have an impartial opinion, but it had been a joy. What they were sharing was so deep and beautiful, he had never had anything like that.

It was true, they already had some arguments, with their strong personality it was bound to happen, but until now they had been easy to solve. If he was fair, the most of them had been his fault. Despite knowing each other for over a few years, he could be kind of picky and sometimes his mouth could be his undoing, forgetting his brain to mouth filter. But until now, saying sorry with some kisses and some kind of bribery, like a massage, a home-cooked meal or letting Olivia choose the movie, had been really helpful.

And on top of all of it, he had been able to avoid his mother questioning. He loved her, but sometimes she could be quite tiresome. And they wanted to be just the three of them for a while.

It had been so easy to settle in this new moment of their lives. It was like they had been doing it for months already, maybe from an outsider point of view that was what they had been doing. He could count on one hand the nights he had spent at his place for the last month.

If his wandering mind wasn't enough, Lucy had appeared half an hour ago. It only took him a second to remember, Olivia had told him Lucy would bring Noah to his office, as she had to leave early for her own free weekend. And Olivia wanted to avoid to have Noah at the precinct, as much as she could. And for the last half an hour he had been looking at the boy, who played quietly beside the coffee table. He should be grateful for his good behavior, but his mind was searching for any excuse to go and play with him.

It was like a never-ending nightmare.

And if all this wasn't enough someone was knocking on his door.

"Come in." He said hoping it was Carmen, just to say her goodbyes for the weekend.

"Rafael." A voice he knew perfectly made him look at the door.

"Rita." He said smiling. "To what I own the pleasure of your visit? If I remember correctly it's been quite a while since you have taken an SVU case"

"Don't play coy with me," Rita said smiling. "You know why I'm here."

"We both know he did it." He said.

"No." She counteracted him. "You think that but you still don't have any proves. We'll take three years of probation, no registry. It's now or never Rafael." She was smirking, so sure of herself. Rafael hated that face. It was the one she had when she had found something good for her cause.

"That's preposterous. He could have killed her."

"But he didn't. And there's no DNA. Just probable cause." She argument.

"No way." He said.

"Do you think it's wise to not even think about it for a while?" She asked. "Or is it because Lieutenant Benson would have your head?" She asked with amusement and her smirk couldn't be bigger. "I see she has you eating by her hand." She said looking at Noah playing at the coffee table.

"Don't go there, Rita." His voice was murderous.

"I see." She said as Rafael bitted the inside of his cheek, mentally cursing how much he had let her see with his words. He knew they both played a paper during work hours but they had made a pact at university, where they had agreed to never use personal information. "The last part was uncalled for, sorry," Rita said surprising Rafael.

"Don't try to sweet talk me, Rita. There's no way we can reach a deal." He said, trying to keep his voice calm and wanting to keep his deadly look as long as he could, but a pair of tiny hands grabbing his trousers interrupted his plans.

"Thirsty," Noah said smiling. Not aware of the kind of conversation the two adults were having.

"Do you want some juice?" Rafael asked the boy, normally he would have made the question in Spanish but with Rita in front of them, he didn't want her to hold more power right now. Noah nodded enthusiastically. "Ok." He said guiding the boy towards the bag Lucy had brought with him.

"She does have you eating on her hand, eh?" Rita teased him, smirking.

"Rita," Rafael warned her, once Noah was settled again at the coffee table, with his apple juice and his crayons. It had been a hell of a day, and he didn't want this conversation to be longer than it needed to "We both know we are not going to agree, so we'll see each other in court." May he was being a little too harsh, but he only wanted to finish his work and go home.

"Ok."

Rita was gathering her things to leave when someone else came through the door. Before Rafael saw who it was, he bitted the snarky comment about his luck today. Until he heard the voice of his mother and his face went white.

"Rafi! You haven't been answering my calls!" His mother told him off. At the same time, another voice called after him.

"Papi!" Noah called him excited, as his little legs brought him beside Rafael as quick as they could, bringing with him a paper. For the last week, he had been calling him that sometimes. The first time he had heard the name, he had almost dropped the dishes he was carrying to the kitchen. He was speechless looking at the boy. It took him a few seconds to gather himself and look at Olivia. The smugness of her face told him it had been her work. He couldn't love her more.

Yes, today his life sucked.

"Smooth counselor, so smooth." Rita didn't even try to hide her amusement. "I'd love to stay and see how you try to escape from this one, alas I have a meeting." She said. "Lucia it was a pleasure to see you" She squeezed the other's woman shoulder before leaving Rafael's office.

"Mami…" He tried.

"Papi!" Noah called him again. Rafael looked at the boy and saw how he was trying to show him his latest draw.

"Lo siento, mijo. (I'm sorry, mijo.)" He said as he grabbed the boy in his arms.

"Mira. (Look)" He said proudly.

"Es muy bonito. (It's beautiful)" Rafael said trying to decipher it. "¿Somos nosotros? (Is it us?)"

"It's me, mommy and you at the zoo." The boy said smiling.

"!Claro! (Of course!)" Rafael said, trying not to look at his mother. "Y esto de aquí es el leon. (And this one, it's the lion.)"

"Si!" Noah said before hiding his face on Rafael's neck. "Papi, I'm tired."

"Rafi…" His mother said as he hugged the boy in his arms, gently rubbing his back.

"Mami…"

"Dijiste… (You said…)" She started. "When you called me last week, I asked you specifically if you had already asked Olivia on a date, and you said no. "

"Lo se, I know." Rafael murmured. "Pero… (But…)"

"¿Cuanto tiempo? (For how long?)" She asked.

"Mami…" He didn't want to answer her. His plan was to let her know about them with Olivia in the room and use her as a shield, in a figurative way. She loved his mother, but she wanted to know all about him as soon as it happened. She wasn't overbearing, most of the time, but she wanted to be kept in the loop. But the worse part was his lie, his mother hated being lied.

"Contesta. (Answer me.)"

"A month." No matter how old he was, she always made him feel like a little boy. Lucia didn't say anything more, she just groaned in her anger.

"Is she mad?" Noah asked him from his hiding place on his neck.

"She is, buddy." There was no way he could say anything more than the truth to the boy.

"You were bad?" The boy asked.

"Yes. I lied to her." He answered honestly. Those words made Noah push himself with his hands on Rafael's chest to look at him.

"Mommy says lying is bad," Noah said seriously.

"Eso dice, ¿eh?(She says that eh?)" Rafael said seeing how Noah nodded at his words. "And she's right. But sometimes grownups do that because they are not prepared to say the truth." He said looking at Noah, but his words were for her mother.

"Ok." Noah agreed to him, his tiredness taking place over his curiosity. And grabbed Rafael by his neck as he rested again on his neck. It was then when Rafael looked at his mother again and he saw her crying.

"Mami?" He called her while he went to his side in a few steps.

"I'm ok." She assured him. "It's just… I was worried. You were always alone. And you have so much to give, Rafi." She said touching his check. Rafael smiled at his mother as he kissed her forehead.

"We just wanted a bit of time." He tried to justify his lie.

"Don't. I may be crying but I'm still mad at you, young man." Her mother said making him laugh.

"Ok." He said giving her some space as he put Noah on his office couch to have a nap. "Just say my sentence."

"You are not funny." Lucia was smiling now, seeing her soon, so comfortable, taking care of the toddler. "Brunch tomorrow." It wasn't a question.

"Next weekend?" Rafael asked hopefully.

"Sunday." She offered, raising her hand before Rafael said anything more. "Don't push me. It's my last offer."

"Ok." He murmured.

They talked for a little while, it had been a bit one sided as his mother had done almost all the talking, but at the end, she left no so angry. It didn't took him more than a few seconds to grab her phone once his mother had left.

 _R: My mom came. She heard Noah calling me papi. Guess we're outed. You ok with it?_

 _O: Guess it means less work for us._

 _R: You could see it that way. By tomorrow my whole family knows about us._

 _By the way, I managed to hold her until Sunday when we are supposed to meet her to have brunch._

 _O: Hoping you don't expect me to cook._

 _He could see her smirk in her text, probably enjoying his situation much more than him._

 _R: Your pancakes are good._

 _Don't worry I already have the place in mind. It has big doors so we can escape if needed._

 _O: Rafa!_

 _R: You love me. Just admit it._

 _Noah's sleeping. I hope I won't have another surprise visits and I'll manage to have some work done._

 _O: Ok. See you at home!_

 _R: Te amo._

 _O: Love you too!_

* * *

 _I just wanted to say that I know nothing about laws. I hope I didn't write anything too unbelievable._


	14. Chapter 14

_Hello there!_

 _Here is the next chapter. It's the result of a rainy day after this week episode. I'm dreading the next one. I hope you'll like it and I'm waiting to hear your opinions. I write it with all my illusion._

 _Thank you all four your comments. They amaze me and give me more want to write. :D!_

* * *

 _Stitches_

Being called on a Saturday afternoon wasn't her favorite thing by a long shot, but at least, seeing Rafael's name on the ID call of his phone gave her the excuse to evade reality for a few minutes.

"Rafa." She called him as a greeting, with a smile already on her lips. He was probably calling her from the park. It had been their original plan, but a call changed their family outing to an only boys afternoon, or those had been Rafael's words.

"I'm sorry." His strained voice radiated pain. "I'm so sorry." He repeated. She didn't need any more words to change her attitude towards this conversation.

"Rafi," Olivia tried to catch his attention using his name. "What is it? Please, talk to me." With their job, a few words were enough to her to picture the worse case scenario.

"It's my fault. I should have been..." He mumbled. "They won't let me see him... Gods..."

"Rafael." Olivia's tone of voice was harder. She needed information, and she needed it now. "Where are you?"

"Mount Sinai west. ER." Rafael said quickly, leaving her speechless and blocked. It was Fin's knock on her office door's frame what made her regain her strength, at least for a little while.

"Do not move Rafi. I'm on my way. Everything it's going to be ok. Give me fifteen minutes." She said. "Do you hear me?" She didn't want to add any more guilt on him, even when she didn't know what had happened or in what condition her baby was.

"Ok." He murmured, sounding like a lost little boy.

"Olivia?" Fin caught her attention once she had hanged up Rafael's call.

"Gods... They're at the hospital." She said while grabbing her things as fast as she could. "Rafi... He didn't say much." She was so distraught that she didn't notice how Rafael's nickname had slipped from her lips, in the office. At least, only Fin was with her.

"I'm driving you." Fin said before he went to grab his jacket.

"No...The case…" Olivia tried uselessly.

"I don't care. I don't want you to drive and once we are there well see." He said. "Amanda and Carisi are doing the asking in the neighborhood right now. There's not much more to do now."

"Ok," Olivia said.

...

Once she was sitting in the car, her bravado slipped away from her, in waves. She didn't have any strength to answer Fin's questions, even if she wanted to, she didn't have any information. At least Fin knew her well enough to know when his questioning wasn't welcomed, letting her made their trip to the hospital in a tense silence. She had enough work stopping her thoughts or at least trying to keep them in the realm of probability as much as she could, and she wasn't having any luck with that.

She had been so focused on trying to stay as calm as she could, she didn't notice how they arrived at the hospital. It wasn't until Fin opened her door when her body started to move on autopilot, walking to the ER with the only purpose, of finding Rafael.

The first thing she observed was how crowded the room was. Full of people waiting for their turn. And then she saw him. It hadn't been difficult to spot him. Perhaps this sixth sense she had to spot him in any room had helped, or maybe it was his voice. He was yelling at one of the nurses in the reception, pissing her a lot. She only hoped the girl would see the worry and hopelessness his angry pose tried to hide.

Rafael didn't hear Olivia call him, as she reached his side. It wasn't until she was grabbing him by his shoulder and making him look at her that his attention moved from the girl.

"Rafi," Olivia called him. His eyes were red, and a little puffy and his hair was a mess. Olivia knew he had been crying. But what scared her more was the red stains on his grey jumper. "Look at me. Take a deep breath." Olivia needed him calm, or at least as calm as he could be. "Ok. Just breath." She kept talking calmly as her hands went up and down his arms, trying to soothe him. Olivia didn't stop until she felt him grab her hands and intertwine their fingers.

"I'm so sorry. We were playing, at the children's park, and he wanted to go to the sled. I was helping him, and then..." Rafael stopped and took a deep breath. "I don't know how it happened, but he was in front of me and then he wasn't. I don't know how, but he fell to the ground. I suppose he bumped against the steps or some other part of the structure because when I looked at him, he was on the floor and he had blood everywhere."

"It's ok," Olivia said squeezing his hands trying to give him her support. Knowing their intertwined hands was the only thing that kept Rafael grounded.

"I picked him and then I run here. A nurse led us to a room. He was crying, and I might have been yelling. And now I'm here, and I can't go with him because I'm not in the papers." Rafael signed. "Please, just go in there because I'm going mad not knowing what is happening in there."

"Ok. I'll go." Olivia said. "Could you try to calm a little? I'll come as soon as I can. Stay with Fin in the meantime." Olivia knew the two men weren't friends, but she didn't want Rafael to be alone in the waiting room. She didn't let him try to argue with her. Instead, she kissed his lips chastely and before he could say any word she was already walking to the door as she asked the nurse where his son was.

The woman or if she wanted to address better the girl, because she didn't look old enough to be called that, smiled at her, probably amused at the scene they had created. Despite being a little mortified about it, the nurse attitude gave her a little rest, hoping that her smile would be a sign of her son's good wellbeing, and Rafael's reaction was only his usual over-worried mood. She didn't say much to her, only signaling a door and giving her the number of the box.

Looking at the numbers on the hallway walls, she started to walk, searching for the one the nurse had said. It didn't take her long to reach it. The door was open, and her son was in the arms of an older female doctor. She was probably in her forties, and she was cooing Noah saying sweet nothings in Spanish.

"Hello," Olivia said quietly, trying not to disturb. The doctor looked at her but before she could say anything Noah spoke.

"Mommy!" The boy called her. He wasn't crying anymore, but his eyes were red and puffy, like Rafael's. Olivia went to him, and the doctor gladly passed her the boy.

"I suppose you are Noah's mother." She said.

"Yes."

"I'm doctor Martin." She introduced herself smiling. "He's okay."

"Thank God." Olivia murmured. "How a few words can give that kind of relief?" Olivia said to the other woman as she kissed her son's hair.

"I know." The doctor said while taking some notes on a computer. "He's going to be fine. He had a cut on the eyebrow that needed a few stitches, another cut on the lip that it's going to heal on its own and one of his top incisor tooth it's chipped now. He might need to go to the dentist and have it smoothen."

"Ok."

"You'll have to bring him in ten days to remove the stitches. In the meantime, just keep it clean with some antibiotic cream. He might need something for the pain tonight. But for the rest, it shouldn't be any major problem." The doctor explained her.

"Ok, thank you. I was so worried. When he called me, he just mumbled a few words. My mind could only imagine the worst possible scenario." Olivia said, thinking about Rafael.

"I know." The doctor smiled at her.

"I'm sorry if he..." Olivia tried to apologize, knowing how Rafael could be when he was scared or too overwhelmed.

"Don't even try, please." The doctor cut her. "The interns have very imaginative brains. One of the two interns, who attended your son and husband, didn't know the difference between a distraught first-time parent, whose kid had had an accident, and child abuse." She explained to Olivia. "And on top of it, the boy was stupid enough to say those words aloud. I have to say, your husband has a witty mouth, it's a shame the intern didn't understand even a half of it." Both women chuckled at the image. Olivia was so relieved she didn't notice how the doctor had referred to Rafael as her husband twice.

"Good. I didn't want any misunderstanding." Olivia tried to explain herself, but the doctor didn't let her, raising her hand and stopping Olivia's words.

"In all the years I have been working as a doctor, I've never seen a father so worried and desperate if he is the one who has done the damage." The doctor chuckled. "Poor thing… I had to throw him out because he didn't let me do my job. And then my intern didn't see his name on the contact list. With him being a minor I had my hands tied. I didn't think for even a second what had happened wasn't an accident. Don't worry." The smile didn't leave her face at any moment.

"Thank you."

"It's my job. As I said, it shouldn't give him any more trouble, than a bit of pain today and maybe tomorrow. For the stitches, you can go to his usual doctor. And don't be too harsh on him, I think he has been whipping himself since he arrived." The doctor said once she had already turned to leave the room, not seeing the smile on Olivia's face, as she thought of how correct had been her last comment.

After the doctor left, she looked at Noah's face properly. It was clean, but she could see a little bit of swollen already. She kissed Noah's forehead before starting to walk to the waiting room, thinking that with one look at him Rafael would be mortified for days.

Once outside the two men came to her wanting to know what was the outlook. She hadn't said a word, and Rafael already had Noah in his arms. She saw his face after looking at Noah's injuries, and despite her son's pain, she couldn't stop her smile seeing how Rafael closed his eyes, kissed Noah's forehead and started to talk to the boy while swaying them both. She didn't need to have much imagination to know where Noah would sleep tonight.

She passed them a quick report, as Fin had to go to the precinct.

Olivia had wanted to go with him, but Fin hadn't let her. They had a quick discussion that ended with her handing him the fort with the condition that he would call her if they needed her.

...

A few hours later, when they were having a movie afternoon, Fin texted her that they would have to wait until Monday to keep the investigation. Olivia answered Fin's text and put the phone on the coffee table. She was about to tell Rafael the news when stopped, and instead of speaking she looked at her boys. Noah was sleeping on Rafael's chest, and Rafael was looking at the boy in his arms.

"Rafi..." They had barely talked in all the afternoon.

"I could only remember the image of him when he had measles. But this time it would have been my fault. It could have been my fault." He said, looking at Noah.

"Please, don't say this. It was an accident. It could have happened when he's with me or when Lucy takes him to the park." Olivia moved, sitting closer to her boys and put her hand on Rafael's cheek, making him look at her. "It was an accident. I don't think it's your fault and neither does Noah." Olivia smiled at Rafael. "Please my love, do not blame yourself anymore. The only reminder he'll have it's a tiny scar. All of us has scars. It's part of our history." They were looking into each other's eyes, amazing her like it was the first time how much she could see in his green eyes. One of his hands had moved to her hip, caressing the skin available as her shirt had rolled up a bit. She had wanted to comfort him with her words, but she felt him go stiff once the hand on his cheek moved to the base of her neck.

The first time she felt it, it was the first night they made love. It wasn't very big, five inches at most, and a little rough to the touch. But she didn't see it until the next morning. It looked angry like it hadn't healed properly.

"Rafi…" She murmured. "You don't have to say anything, but... how did you get this scar?" He was letting her caress the scar, but she wasn't sure he would be sitting next to her if Noah wasn't in his arms.

"It was an accident." He started not looking at her anymore. "It was an accident, but it didn't feel like one." She kept touching him, not letting him go too deep into his memories.

"Ok."

"You know my father wasn't the best one." Olivia only nodded at him. "He drank too much and said nasty things. When my abuelo died, it got worse. There wasn't anyone who was worthy of his respect, anymore. But despite his threats, he never raised a hand to any of us. I was twelve when it happened. It had been a year, since my abuelo's passing and we barely talked. We didn't have anything in common. One day he said he wanted me to play baseball. He knew I wasn't into sports." Rafael grabbed Olivia's hand but he didn't say anything more.

"It's okay. I don't want you to feel obligated." She said squeezing his hand.

"I want to." Rafael murmured, this time looking at her. "He took me to the neighborhood field. It was old and in bad shape. I wonder if it's still there. Anyway, he dragged me there and when I tried to leave he shoved me to the broken fences, they were sharper than what they looked. Hence the scar. The problem was that he didn't let me go to the clinic and it got infected. My abuelita caught me a few days later and did the best she could. Neither of us wanted my mother to know."

"I can imagine." She didn't need to hear him say it. She already knew how for a second he had been transported in time, and how he had been terrified to have done something like his father had done to him.

"I know it wasn't the right choice. But at that time, I was too young. I was too afraid of what he could become if we provoked him." She could see it was hard to him to talk about it. It was the first time he had told her a whole history and not bits or comments about his father.

"And the suspenders?" She asked him, trying to bring a more comfortable conversation. This type of accessory wasn't the most used anymore. It had always been something that had made her curious, but she had never asked him why.

"My abuelo." He said smiling. "He was the one who taught me how to be a gentleman. And when he passed away I started to wear his suspenders when I had to dress up. He would have loved you, both of my grandparents. Have you ever seen the dark green ones?" He asked her.

"I saw ones in your wardrobe, but I don't remember having seen you wearing them."

"They are the last ones I have from him," Rafael admitted.

"Thank you for sharing all of this with me."

"Thank you for keeping me here." He said kissing her hand before he made her come closer and hugged her as much as he could, with Noah between them. "Liv."

"What?" She asked him with her face resting on his shoulder.

"I wasn't in the papers." He admitted. Olivia pulled back, enough to see his face. "I couldn't make any choice. Not that I would do anything without consulting it with you first. But I couldn't, and I felt so hopeless. They didn't even let me be with him."

"Ok."

"I'm not asking about adoption, at least yet, not that I would be opposed to now. But I would feel better if my name was somewhere."

"Ok."

"Just think about it. Please. I..." Her hand on his mouth stopped his rambling.

"I said ok." She said smiling. "I'm not opposed to the adoption part either. I'll call Trevor on Monday and I'll ask him about the process. And what can we do in the meantime to have you in the papers."

"Trevor? Since when you call him by his given name?" He asked curiously.

"Don't go there, counselor." She stopped him. "I'll have enough with his smugness and awkward questions when I'll mention your name."

"Ok." He said kissing her fingers before he moved his face closer to hers and kissed her lips, tasting her with his tongue, making her moan a little.

"Just to let you know, you'll owe me after this." She said on his lips making him chuckle.

"Te amo."

"That won't be enough." She said without meaning it.

"I'll think something."

"I love you." Both of them were smiling, like a pair of lovesick teenagers. Neither of them could be happier. "Do you want to watch the next episode of Stranger things while we wait for the pizza?" Olivia asked him as she went to pick the number of their favorite pizza restaurant delivery.

"That sounds like a plan." After having his heart broken a few times, he had been afraid to let someone know him so well and have so much power over him. But Olivia was different, she balanced him in a way no one had done before. Maybe he should be scared, but the way they were together, gave him strength. Strength to fight for her, for Noah, for them. He knew he was going to marry her, the only question he had it was when.

* * *

 _I just wanted to say that I know nothing about medicine and how an ER works. I tried to write it as realistic as possible._


	15. Chapter 15

_Hello there! First of all, sorry for the delay. I had a little mental block wanting to write this chapter mixed with some mourning after last week episode._

 _I hope you'll like it, I have written it with all my illusion. This one is a little more heated and I hope I've correctly pictured the feelings of frustration I wanted to write. As always I'm already waiting for your opinions and thank you all for your comments and support! :D!_

* * *

 _Jealousy_

He was alone in what he had been calling their bed for over two months, panting, cursing his luck and the skin Olivia had been touching still tingling, screaming at the abrupt and unexpected loss of his lover kisses and touches. How had he ended this way? Well, if he was realistic this last two weeks hadn't been his best ones.

If he went back a few years, tonight would have been a desired one. His boss wouldn't have had to remember him at the beginning of the week his no-obligated but desired attendance at the fundraiser gala hosted on Friday night. Before, it would have been a good night for his political career, but now he was happy where he was, his job had taken a new meaning. And after the nightmare, it had been these last two weeks when he had barely seen his son and his girlfriend, he only wanted a lazy Friday movie night, with his family.

While these last days, his time had passed mostly over paperwork, giving a false image of easy work, when in truth, he had been obliged to stay after hours to finish his behind schedule paperwork, not seeing an awake Noah more than an hour in the mornings. The real problem had started two weeks ago when the trial of the deputy chief medical examiner Carl Rudnick had started. Since then his life had become a race towards the clock to find the evidence needed to win the case, all under the pressure of everybody, as any person with a high post didn't want a serial killer working for the administration free more time than it was necessary. All of that had translated to having almost any sleep, the amounts of coffee he drank at the university and having the first serious argument, outside work, with Olivia since they had started their relationship.

It took him just one night to recognize he hadn't had the best reaction to Olivia's words. One night to know he had to do something. And that something had been showing up at her place the next morning, with breakfast and an apology. He knew he hadn't been the only one put under tons of pressure, and he knew she had only wanted to voice her concerns after his health and towards their relationship.

She had been in her right to voice her fears, after seeing how he had been behaving for almost a week.

It hadn't been the first time she had seen him reject human contact when they had a difficult case, but now they were a family, a new one, but a family. They were supposed to talk to each other. She wanted to be there for him. But, while she could understand the pressure he was under and could understand his grumpiness, Noah couldn't. And she didn't want him to be one of those fathers who faded away behind the work. It was true since they had started their relationship, this was their first case with this level of repercussions and where under all the pressure, their work was examined, under the microscope. But, she had hoped he would make an effort, if not for her for Noah.

That morning, after leaving Noah at the day-care Rafael had told her she had been right and he had promised to do something and try not to do it again. Giving Olivia his permission to reprimand him if he did it again.

Tonight had been the gala. After two weeks of going to bed, being already asleep. And he hadn't had any excuse not to go. At least, going at this kind of gala together wasn't strange, as Olivia still preferred to keep their relationship under the radar.

Foolishly he had thought that maybe after an hour top of polite and trifling conversation, they could enjoy themselves a little bit. Drink a little, laugh and dance. But not even five minutes in there and he had been dragged away. At least he had imprinted his brain with a high definition image of Olivia with his black knee-length strapless dress, that hugged all of her curves in the right places, she had chosen for tonight, the one he could only watch from afar.

He was tired of this kind of events. Having to maintain a well-mannered behavior, empty conversations over and over, seeing the thing he desired from the other side of the room. Like a predator, waiting for the perfect moment for his hunt.

A few hours later, scotch in hand he had been talking with the governor. It might not have been the best decision to have his glass refilled one more time, but after three hours he hadn't cared much more anymore. He wasn't drunk, Olivia and he had a kid to take care of once home, but he was tipsy. He hadn't heart her come, being the first thing he noticed her hand on his lower back, followed by her voice. She had greeted the governor, maybe a little too enthusiastically while her hand found her way under his suit jacket and she let him feel her heat. It hadn't been until he looked at her when he understood the confidence and freedom with she had sneaked her hand.

Her cheeks were flushed, and he could barely see the chocolate brown of her eyes, as the black pool of her pupils had stolen most of the space. He hadn't kept count of her drinks but, by the way, she was looking at him, they were in the same state of alcohol-induced dizziness.

With his tipsiness, he had thought he could play too. Subtedly, angling his body to hers until their bodies were glued, making her pant. While he maintained the conversation with the other man, smiling. But his triumph was short as she won the war, making him choke with his scotch when he felt her fingers poke the waist of his trousers, between the strips of his maroon suspenders.

He had been able to see her between his coughs, as she was too proud to hide her smug smile. Rafael had caught her hand, stopping her incursion and making a quick excuse, saying their goodbyes and took her away, not caring anymore if anyone saw them holding hands.

In less than fifteen minutes, they had been sitting in a cab on the way home, keeping their game on. They had stopped the handsy part, but not the glances, full of desire and promises while keeping a safe distance between their bodies. Rafael was sure he wouldn't be the only one having a hard time to stop once they started. Despite his reluctance to go to the gala, it might be his lucky night. The roads were empty and once their feet were on the sidewalk, they were the only people in the street.

If Lucy left, so quickly, because she really wanted to go home, or because she had noticed their not so subtle state of arousal, he didn't care. He would have time to be a little apologetic to the girl. Right now, all that wouldn't help him to have Olivia naked on their bed wasn't his priority.

While Olivia had been talking to the younger woman, he had removed his suit jacket and cufflinks, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt and loosened his tie. The next time he looked at her, she was leaning on the closed door, looking at him, biting her lower lip.

He didn't know who made the first move. She had been leaning against the door and then she was in front of him, their breaths mixing before crushing their lips, while their hands did a hard and quick job on their clothes, leaving a road towards the bedroom.

It hadn't taken him long to have Olivia sitting on his lap, on their bed with only their underwear. She was grabbing his hair as they kissed and his hands were on the fastener of her bra. By the way, she was attacking his neck, he knew it wouldn't be a surprise to have a hickey on his neck, and it would be just below his jaw, easy to make her claim known. He unclasped her bra and threw it away. They could be too drunk, too aroused or too lost in their passion but he always stopped for a few seconds to look at her, to look at her form before having his feast, to let her know how beautiful she was. But as his mouth was about to make the first contact of the night, someone made his presence know.

"Mommy?" A little voice, from the baby monitor they still kept on during the night, sounded in their room, making them froze on the spot. "Mommy?" He called her again.

"God." She murmured while he groaned in frustration. "I'll go, it won't take long." She said, kissing his forehead as her feet touched the floor.

Olivia left the room, leaving Rafael alone. He rested his back on the headboard and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. She heard her talking with Noah, he sounded a bit too awake for his liking, but he didn't listen to their conversation.

"Hey there," Olivia said, once she returned to their room. "Sorry." He hadn't realized how much time had passed but by her words, it seemed it had passed more than she had wanted.

"Not needed." He said smiling at her.

"He's out now." She said while she climbed and regained her spot on his lap.

"That's my undershirt." He said looking at his clothes on her.

"I know. I found it in the hallway." She said sheepishly.

"I love when you wear my clothes." He had started to kiss her available skin again, making her whimper with need. "And I love when I peel you off my clothes." His hands were already rolling up the shirt, letting him see her body again. "So beautiful." He murmured on her skin. "And so mine." He had never been so possessive with previous partners, but she woke on him his animal side. She didn't say anything he could fully understand, only mumbling some words about smartass, impossible, coherent, while this, as her hands were pulling his hair, keeping his head on her breasts and their hips started to dance.

He was about to back a little to grab some air when they heard it again.

"Mommy?" Rafael crushed his forehead on her chest letting out his frustration with a groan between some guffaws of despair. Olivia left, putting on his shirt once more, frustrated too and without saying a word.

Once alone again, he got a feeling that it wasn't going to be his night. He didn't have to see her with Noah in her arms to know they adult time had ended, as he had heard the little boy over the baby monitor begging his mother to let him sleep with them.

"Nightmare?" He asked her, once she was again in the room.

"Yes." She said as she laid on her side of the bed with Noah snuggling to her chest.

"Hey, mijo," Rafael said to the boy trying to cheer him up a little, but his tiredness combined with the nightmare made him a little cranky, and only want his mother.

"Lucy said something about he had been a little too attached all the afternoon." She said. "Maybe not barely seeing us had caught him up."

"It's ok." He said looking at her as his had touched Noah's back. They both knew it wouldn't take him long to fall asleep again. But they also knew it would be a foolish attempt to place him in his room again, knowing he would, more probably than not wake up again. "It's just..." He murmured.

"What?" She was curious now.

"I feel bad about it but..." He kept his rambling.

"Rafa?"

"I'm jealous." He admitted.

"Of him?" Olivia asked and Rafael only nodded blushing a little.

"He's in my spot." He admitted, looking how his son was sleeping snuggled in his mother's chest. "I've been waiting all week to have my spot." Olivia had a hard time to stop her laugh, not wanting to wake up Noah another time. "And we still haven't had the makeup sex after our first real argument."

"Hey." She said touching his cheek, once she saw he wasn't laughing at her, looking a little contrite. "I'm sure you are not the first parent who feels like this at some point." She assured him.

"Ok." He said, but Olivia saw he still wasn't all comfortable.

"How about..." She started, making him look at her. "How about the three of us spent tomorrow morning together and then we have a bit of adult time while he spends his afternoon with your mother?" She offered.

"Deal." He said smiling.

"But don't make a stupid excuse when she asks us the have dinner with her."

"Liv." He complained playfully. She always knew how to make him smile.

"Rafa." She warned him.

"Ok." He would be crazy to let pass away some adult free time with her.

"Now, come here. I wouldn't mind a few hours of sleep." She said already moving Noah to her side so the three of them could snuggle with the boy in the middle.

"So bossy." He said taking his side on the bed.

"You love it."

"I know, that's the weird thing."

"Rafa!" They were both laughing now. Knowing that despite his previous frustration, he would never change any of it.


	16. Chapter 16

_Hello there! Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it.:D!_

 _I might sound a bit repetitive but, thank you all for your comments! I'm already waiting to read what you think of this one._

* * *

 _Accent_

The job they had chosen didn't allow them a lot of occasions to be together and celebrate, whatever they wanted to celebrate. And, even when it might seem like, they were given one of this rare occasions, they not always ended like they had planned them. Today was Amanda's baby shower and the day had begun with the last minute problem with one of the warrants of the current case when they were supposed to enjoy their day off. And, after the police shooting grand jury neither of them wanted to have any weak point in any of their cases.

Olivia had been making small talk with some of the guests, and Amanda, and Fin for over an hour when she saw Carisi. He looked flushed like he had run to be at the party as soon as possible. He went through the door of the salon Amanda's mother had rented and walked to Amanda to give her his present.

After exchanging a few words between them, Amanda put the present away for safe keeping, and Olivia saw her walk tiredly to the table where she was sitting.

"Tired?" Olivia asked. She hadn't gone through a pregnancy, but she could easily imagine what Amanda was feeling right now with an almost full grown up pregnant belly.

"My feet are torturing me." She admitted rubbing her belly.

"I can imagine." She smiled apologetically at the other woman.

...

The two of them kept talking for a while until Amanda's mother sat at the other side of Amanda.

"There're quite a few young, good-looking men Amanda." She commented making her daughter blush. "Sweetie don't be so shy." She said as she took a good sip of champagne. "My daughter told me you are her boss." She said looking at Olivia while Amanda looked at her too, already asking for forgiveness at her mother's words.

"Yes, I am." She answered politely.

"And how do you manage this work with a baby?" She asked her looking at Noah. Olivia glanced at him, he was sitting quietly on her lap, soon it would be nap time for him.

"Well…"

"Because knowing Amanda I'm not so sure about it." Amanda's mother interrupted her.

"As I was saying I have a lot of help. I have a wonderful nanny and a few wonderful friends." She explained the woman. "And I know that Amanda is going to have as much help I have found, and she is going to manage just fine. She's going to be a good mother." The last words were for Amanda, to try to reassure her. She knew her mother hadn't been the best one, for say something, but she could see Amanda's mom wasn't the easiest either.

"And no daddy around the corner?" The woman asked her, making her blush.

"Mother." Amanda intervened. "It's not your business. That was uncalled for."

Olivia hadn't wanted to answer the other woman's question. She hated to lie, but she had been the one who had requested some more time to Rafael. She didn't know if Amanda had interceded because she knew about her and Rafael or because she had only wanted to stop her mother's intruding questions. She wasn't going to ask. Instead, she kept her mouth closed focusing her attention on Noah, and letting the other two continue their discussion.

She was looking at her son, making him funny faces to entertain him a little when she felt something that made her look at the door which marked the entrance to the salon. The noise surrounding her was high enough to not ear anything beyond those doors but she the sight of him was enough her squirm in her place.

Rafael had left her place in a hurry a few hours ago, because some kind of problem with one of the warrants he had got them a few days ago, and he had had to go with Carisi to court and try to ease the problem. She hadn't wanted to know much more, this time she hadn't asked him much more about it, wanting to enjoy her free day for once. Knowing, if they had real trouble they would call her.

Rafael always went to court perfectly dressed, even more, if he had to go to a party after work. It didn't change anything that the party was Amanda's baby shower. His grandfather had told him when he was a little boy, how important was to dress adequately for every situation, and the older man's teachings remained until now.

But today was different.

It was an unusual sight of him, but not an unpleasant one.

She hadn't properly looked at him when he had left, and now she could see he had left in a rush. He was wearing his grizzled stubble, and his hair had no product, it looked a bit messy like his hand had passed over it a few times. Despite how sexy this sight of him was, Olivia knew this was the result of his stress, and with the seriousness his face had, she knew the conversation he was having over the phone wasn't a pleasant one.

One hand held the phone to his ear, and the other gripped the green tie and grey blazer he must have worn when he left home. The neck of his shirt was open, and he had rolled up the sleeves of the white shirt he was wearing. Making him look younger than he was.

If this image of him wasn't sexy enough to make her blush, her arousal grew when she heard him speak, once he was close enough. Every time she heard the thick Spanish accent he had when he was talking with someone of his family, her body melted.

Olivia saw him take a deep breath, getting a bit of time while he thought what he was going to say to the other person, she knew that look, he was preparing himself to give a good piece of his mind not caring the hurt his words were about to do.

Normally he only needed a few words in his maternal language, to have her pliant to his wishes. It was too easy to let his voice invade her body, making her legs feel dizzy and her lower belly, tremble in anticipation. But she knew this time was going to be different, not only because they were in a public place surrounded by friends, it was also for the way he was speaking. She didn't need to understand the words to know he was angry.

At the end, it didn't take him much more time to have said what he wanted and to have the call hanged. It didn't take him long either to cross all the room until he reached the drinks counter, not saying a word to anyone. Giving Olivia the information that anger wasn't the only feeling. She was convinced, it was mixed with frustration, exasperation, and exhaustion. Olivia left him alone for a few minutes, giving him the time he needed to gather his thoughts and to calm down a bit before she went after him. Knowing, he needed someone to bent his frustrations, and feelings.

"Hey." She said trying to catch his attention. "What is it?" She asked him looking at his tired eyes, while her hand touched his back up and down trying to bring him some comfort. Rafael tried not to rely on the contact too much and kissed Noah's forehead instead of Olivia's lips.

"Family." He said shortly, as he grabbed the boy in his arms.

"I supposed so." She said. "I heard you speaking Spanish." She explained to him.

"Oh…" He was looking at the food, placed next to the drinks, instead of her. "I was that loud uh?".

"Not so, but I have a hearing for your accent." She confessed hoping that it would make him smile. And he did smile but it didn't reach his eyes. "Talk to me, please." He looked at her worried eyes and sighed.

"My mother called me, yesterday." He started, thinking about how much he loved his mother, and how many times she made him angry, and how easily she managed to do so. "She wanted to know if I was going to go to my cousin's wedding. Well, what she really asked was if we were going, the three of us." He said signaling the three of them.

"And that is bad, because?" She asked him quietly, as he rocked Noah unconsciously, and her hand never stopped her motions.

"It isn't bad, per se. I just wanted to ask you first. I didn't want you to feel obligated."

"And I thank you for that, honey." She smiled at him.

"It took me a while to make her give me a few days. But apparently what I said wasn't enough. After the little warrant disaster, if I wasn't rilled up enough by Carisi's plots, my cousin, the one who is getting married, calls me. And he starts to shout at me really mad, rambling about why I wasn't going to his wedding, why I didn't want to bring my family, since when I was married, why I didn't say anything… that he always knew I was ashamed of my family, always trying to be…" After that word, he stayed silent.

"Rafi…" She felt his pain.

"I know they think that sometimes, but it hurt every time someone says it out loud." He kissed Noah's forehead trying to calm himself. "I'm a private person, but that doesn't mean I don't love my family."

"I know, my love." The hurt she could see in his eyes was crushing her heart. He felt so deeply and so strongly. Not realizing what she was doing, her hand went to his cheek, and her face came close to his. She could see the surprise in his eyes, but it didn't stop her. Their kiss was short and chaste but enough to make Rafael yelp with surprise. "Liv?" He was beyond surprised. "You said…"

"I know…" She said remembering how she had asked him to keep her relationship below the radar for a while more, even when her bosses knew and were ok with it. "But you needed it." She said smiling at him. "And I needed it too. You look handsome counselor. And I think we haven't been as subtle as we think."

"And my accent drives you crazy."

"Yes." She said before she acknowledged his words. "What?"

"I knew it." She was blushing now, and he laughed. "Don't be mad. You love me." He said as an excuse.

"Right now, I'm not so sure." This man drove her crazy. Olivia kissed him again, not caring who could be looking at them anymore. "It's not true." She said referring to his previous comment. "You know it's not true, and your mother knows it too."

"I know, but it still hurts."

"I know." She only hoped her words would make him feel a little better. "Do you want to go?"

"Do you?" He asked her. "You know they are noisy, overbearing, and they don't know when it's appropriate to stop their questions."

"I think I can manage. You mother isn't that bad."

"Yeah." He smiled. "But when they are together it's much worse. And they think we are married. It's going to be a nightmare to try to correct them."

"We'll get through it." She tried to calm him. "You'll see."

"Ok. I'll talk to her." He murmured. "But right now I'm more worried about those three." He said signaling at her squad. Seeing how the three of them were looking at them with wicked smiles. "I don't know if we're going to survive this." Olivia didn't say anything, she only laughed. They hadn't been subtle at all. "At least one of us is sleeping." He said referring to Noah, who had fallen asleep in Rafael's arms despite his attempts to stay up through all the party.

"Together?" She asked grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers.

"Together," Rafael said thinking how with her by his side they could face anything.


	17. Chapter 17

_Hello! I'm really happy you liked the previous chapter! I love your comments, they give me such joy to read them, and know your opinions. Thank you!_

 _Here's the next one, this one it's just a silly short one, I hope it brings you all at least a little smile._

 _I'm already waiting your opinions._

* * *

 _Wardrobe_

Sometimes, despite your hard work and your desire to have a good day, someone decided it wasn't going to be your day.

It had started well, despite the earlier alarm clock she had to set the night before. Rafael had awoken with her, and he had been quite frisky, making her squirm and laugh with his light touches all over her body and his cheeky words in her ears. What it started as a childish game, grew to passionate and ardent, leaving them, in the end, breathless and satisfied, making her forget everything else.

Chief Dodds wanted to talk to her before the rush started and that was the reason her alarm was settled half an hour earlier than her usual. It was because of that she was supposed to be at the station in less than twenty minutes, and she wasn't even dressed. But, Rafael Barba had to have other plans. She wouldn't deny how good she had felt because it would be a stupid lie. But, for now, she was determined to blame him. He had been the one who had started, it had been because of him, that her five minutes of drowsiness in bed had turned into a half an hour. The half an hour she had planned to rise earlier.

And now, after a quick shower where the water had barely touched her body, while Rafael took care of Noah, she was soaking the floor in front of her wardrobe, wrapped in a towel, letting all the coursing words she knew slop from her lips as she looked at the hanging clothes.

She might have been standing there more time then she had thought because the next thing she noticed was Rafael's voice.

"Liv?" He called her, a bit worried. Olivia saw him lean on the door frame of their room and put what she knew it was her morning cup of coffee on the next available surface.

"What do you want now?" She might have been a little too hard with him but she was really mad right now.

"Everything ok?" He asked her quietly, not really knowing what was happening.

"You tell me." She said looking at him for the first time since he had come to the room.

Rafael went to her side, slowly, just needing a few steps to be next to her.

"Have I done something?" He knew he was walking a thin line, but five minutes ago they were ok. She had kissed him before she left the bedroom.

Olivia didn't say anything, she only looked at him with angry eyes for a few seconds, and then she looked at the wardrobe again.

"What do you see?" She asked seriously.

"Clothes." He said not wanting her to get angrier than she already was.

"Whose clothes?"

"Your's?" He answered slowly.

"Look again." It wasn't the right answer. It was true he had brought a few more suits these last weeks, but they weren't that many, or he had thought so. "Did you know I had to rummage to the depths of the drawers to find some underwear." She said looking at him. "And now I can't find the shirt I wanted to wear because everywhere I look, I only see your clothes.

"Cariño." He tried to clam her grabbing her by the shoulders. But she didn't let him touch her.

"I just can't do this anymore." She said scaring the man in front of him. "I'm going to be late, and the last thing I want is to start my work day with Dodds's opinion about punctuality, and responsibility. And there's you, with your cheeky ways. You are all over. Everything is crowded" She ranted, without taking a breath, leaving Rafael speechless.

"Liv?" He was starting to be scared. Until now their morning had been perfect.

"I need my space." She said, and Rafael's alarms started to scream with a red color.

"Mi amor." He started. "Please..."

"We need a bigger place," Olivia stated in front of an astonished Rafael Barba. When he didn't say anything in return, Olivia looked at him. And she saw how big his eyes were and how he opened and closed his mouth without saying anything. "Rafi?" He was speechless, again in the span of a few minutes. "I just..." She murmured a little bit scared. "You don't want to." She didn't know if she had said it as a question or as a fact.

"I..." He was murmuring too, still not believing what she had said out of nothing. It was certain, at some point, their living arrangements would be discussed. But, with her saying it like it had been a spur of the moment thing had left him a bit unbalanced. "I was thinking you were breaking up with me, or at least you were asking for a time up!"

"Why would I do that?!" She asked.

"Did you hear yourself?!" He asked as it was his answer to her question.

"Do you want to or not?!"

"Of course I want to!" What he didn't know was why they were arguing about something they were both on the same side.

Olivia started to laugh earnestly, this conversation was too surreal.

"We are crazy." She said between laughs.

"At least we match," Rafael said smiling. With his heart wanting to burst with happiness and love. "So... are we really doing it?" He asked her as his hands hugged her hips, and his lips went to kiss her naked shoulder.

"I think so." She said enjoying his attention.

"Where?"

"I don't care." She admitted. "We'll decide it tonight."

"Ok." He said as his lips tried to kiss her neck, just behind her ear, the spot that made her squirm every-time he touched it.

"No mister." She said as she grabbed his hands and pushed his body a few inches apart. "Don't even think about it." He only whined at her dismissal, giving her the same puppy eyes Noah tried to use on her when she said no to the boy. "I'm still mad at you, it's your fault I'm going to be late."

"I didn't hear any complaints." He tried to bribe her. "If I remember correctly I heard words like please, more, harder, don't stop..." He was having a lot of fun seeing her blush.

"You are hearing them now." She wasn't going to fall for his tricks. They were smiling at each other, both of them overjoyed by their decision, and both of them feeling the arousal of the other. They were both humans, and they had made an important decision while she only had a towel to cover her naked body and he was wearing a pair of boxers and a crapy t-shirt that left nothing to the imagination. "Leave." She ordered him before any of them did something more.

"Ok." He granted her. "Do you want me to cover you with Dodds?"

"Gods, no." She said. "I'll have enough with being late. I don't want to add any more awkward questioning."

"Ok. I'll leave you alone." He smirked at her. "I hope Noah hasn't destroyed anything." He said before leaving the room.

In the end, she found the shirt she wanted to wear, squeezed between Rafael's clothes. She didn't know how or when he had brought that many clothes. But this time, the thought of it, made her smile.

...

After applying her usual, subtle and professional layer of make-up, she went to the kitchen where their boys were having a lazy breakfast, as Rafael didn't need to be in his office until ten o'clock this morning, and was going to use this time to walk Noah to his daycare.

She hated when she had to rush to work and couldn't have a proper breakfast with them.

"Mommy!" Noah called her, wanting to be picked up.

"Did you eat all your breakfast?" Olivia asked while she picked him up. Noah answered the question with a lot of enthusiasm, forgetting he had his sippy cup in one hand. And, obviously, someone hadn't properly closed the cover, because the next thing she knew, or more accurately, felt was the cold and wet path Noah's orange juice left on her chest and shirt.

"Ops," Noah said, as he felt the same sensation as his mother. She didn't react at first until she heard the muffled sounds Rafael made trying to stop his laughter.

"Don't." She said not really meaning it. She was laughing too, despite feeling her nerves rustle with rage and helplessness. At least, Rafael taking pity on her grabbed Noah from her arms so she could go change.


	18. Chapter 18

_Hello there!_

 _It has taken me more time than I thought, but here's the next one. I hope you like it. I just wanted to tell that this one is a bit different, as I tried to write it from another person perspective._

 _I'm already waiting for your opinions. And thank you for your comments and support. They're amazing._

* * *

 _Mike._

He would always find moments in which his father's words would echo in his mind. Discretion was the key. When he first told him those words, he hadn't understood him. He was young and a bit naive, during his first years at the force. But as the time passed and people hurt him or betrayed him at some level, he started to understand. But now, watching his new co-workers share some food after a hell of a night, he thought that maybe this time those words were wrong.

He hadn't wanted this position. But as always, his father had persuaded him to take the sergeant place at the SVU. He knew it wouldn't be an easy place as it was common knowledge they were one of the toughest units at the force. And if it wasn't enough, his new boss didn't want him with them. She hadn't said or done nothing obviously but her cold behavior had been enough to him.

They functioned like a well-oiled machine like they were family. It hadn't been the first time he had seen it. But he had never been at the same unit the amount of time necessary to be welcomed to that families.

This first week had been hard, not only for the amount of work to be done, also for the change in the dynamics of his work. And now, he wasn't supposed to be here. Well, neither of them were supposed to be here. This Friday was supposed to be the start of their free weekend. But as the afternoon passed, the craziness started to come, and when they were supposed to leave, they were in the middle of an alternative universe in which all the crazy people decided to do things stupid enough to end arrested in there at the same time. Any of them had thought about leaving, and he had barely remembered to send a message to warn Casey about it. At least they hadn't planned anything more than a quiet night at home. And if it wasn't enough, it was sure his face would be the best present. He nearly hadn't recognized himself when he had seen his face in the bathroom mirror. His hair was a mess, his stubble was more than a shadow on his cheeks, and his eyes were red. And all this was accompanied by a forming bruise on his left eye, the present from a drunk who didn't want to enter the cell. Worsening the migraine he had after all these hours of work.

"How's that face sergeant?" Carisi asked him from the tables, making his wandering mind stop. "Do you want some ice?"

"I feel like a rookie." He said smiling despite the throbbing pain as he walked where his co-workers were sitting.

"It happens sometimes." Fin said as he grabbed some pizza. "Hungry?"

"Starved," Amanda said as she went after another piece of pizza, despite having two more pieces parted from the rest.

"Wolverine spoke." Fin said laughing. "Thank goodness you are eating for two."

"Can a girl have a good appetite." She said.

"Yes, she can. But you are a bottomless pit of hunger."

"Don't go there Fin." She threatened him. "I'm a pregnant woman. And I'm not afraid of hurting you" She said between bites making Fin and Sony laugh. He smiled too as he quietly grabbed a piece.

"Good, it's amazing." He murmured. "From where they come from?" Mike asked.

"From the other side of the lieu's phone." Fin said, leaving him puzzled enough that the other cop took pity on him and explained him with a single word. "Rafael."

"Barba?" Mike asked surprised. "Why would he make some place deliver us pizza at two in the morning?" He asked seeing how the other three looked at him funny. "Now you'll tell me they are together." He said as the others only smiled at him. "Really?" He asked. If he was true to himself, he had to admit the idea had passed through his mind. Those two were pretty close, anyone could see that, from their silent conversations in front of the squat to their subtle touches on the arms or upper back. But as quickly the idea had come, it had gone too. He was sure his father wouldn't have let them be in the same unit.

"How did you notice?" Amanda asked. "It was for their constant need to be in each other space, the sex eyes or their not subtle touches here and there." They shouldn't be making fun of them, but Mike could see they were doing it with good nature, in the same way, you tease your little brother or cousin.

"And if you didn't believe us, just look at her." Fin said signaling at her boss in her office. The door was open and he could see her leaning on her table. One hand clasping the phone at her ear as the other played with her hair. He couldn't hear what she was saying or hearing, but whatever it was it was good enough to make her laugh like a lovesick teenager. "She has been calling him, in the middle of this nightmare, as many times she could. Noah is sick with flu."

"Poor boy," Mike said. He hadn't been with them for a lot of time, but it had been enough to know about the little boy.

"Gods," Amanda said. "We had so much fun two weeks ago." She was remembering the first time they had seen them kissing in public, not caring about anything. "We did make them suffer."

"Yeah." Fin said laughing with Carisi, both remembering how they had seen for the first time the counselor blushing and at the end speechless after all their easy-going jokes, he had been really happy because he had let them have their time with them. "They officially outed themselves at Amanda's baby shower." He explained to Mike, not wanting to leave him apart in their conversation.

"Oh!" He said surprise. "But I thought they had been together for years."

"You wish," Carisi said.

"Yeah," Amanda stole him the word. "They were so in denial. It took them years to say the words. They had only been together for what, three or four months?" Amanda asked at the end.

"Give it or take," Fin confirmed.

...

They kept chatting like they were old friends. Talking about simple things, until Olivia came back, and sat beside Fin.

"I hope there's something left for me, I'm starving." She said looking at the almost empty pizza boxes.

"How's Noah?" Fin asked her.

"Better." She said smiling. "Rafa said he was sleeping soundly at last."

"Good."

"I just hope it won't spread. I still have not recovered from the last time Rafa was ill." She said making them all laugh. It was good to have this easy-going chatter after the day they all had.

"They all turn into babies when they are ill," Amanda said smirking.

"Hey!" Fin and Sony said at the same time, obviously not sharing her opinion. And Mike laughed at the scene until he saw how Amanda was looking at him.

"And what about you?" She asked. "You've been with us for two weeks, and we barely know anything about you." Mike got the feeling he was going to be interrogated.

"What do you want to know?" He asked her. He hadn't expected this approach from them so soon.

"Are you sure it's a wise question?" Sony asked him surprised. "She can be like a bulldog."

"Hey!" Amanda slapped Sony's shoulder. "Which one of us isn't like that with our job?"

"Touché." Fin said.

"Let's not wonder," Amanda said.

"You can ask, another thing it's if you'll get an answer." They weren't the only ones who could play. And it seemed he had said something well, seeing Olivia's and Amanda's smiles.

"Someone at home?" It was Amanda who started.

"Yes." He answered sincerely.

"Status?" It seemed like it was going to be him with his two female co-workers.

"Married. Name's Casey by the way." Mike said before they asked him, and he showed them the rig he whore in a silver chain around his neck.

"Don't tell me the last name is Novak." Fin commented, knowing Olivia was remembering their friend too.

"No. It's Evans." Mike said.

"Good, another good pair of hands for when I'll move in with Rafa," Olivia said. "It could be a good place to meet her." She had been gathering all of them to help her move to Rafael's place. Mike only smiled at her.

"Kids?" Amanda asked focused on knowing more about their new sergeant.

"Not yet." He knew he was smiling like a sap.

"Look at his smile." Fin said. "He looks like you Liv. You smile like this every time Rafael sends you a message."

"Fin, I don't know if you are making a wise decision," Liv said smirking.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"Do you believe we don't know you have a lady who makes you put the same face when you look at your phone?" Mike saw how Fin was left speechless, and how Olivia smirked, knowing she had hit the nail.

"Now who is the one whose imagination is going overboard." He tried to divert, without having success.

"You can deny it all you want. Just give us some time and we'll found who she is." She assured him smiling, clasping his shoulder as he could not stop the blush it had settled on his cheeks.

They kept talking, but for a minute Mike kept himself a bit apart from the conversation, thinking maybe this time was the one. The one in which he had found his place. A unit in which he could fit and gain good friendships.


	19. Chapter 19

_Hello there._

 _This time I've been a bit quicker and here's the next one. I hope you'll like it. ;D_

* * *

 _Playdate._

Rafael was walking, tiredly, to the balcony, with a sleeping Noah bundled in a blanket, and recapitulated how the day had gone.

It had only taken them three months to organize everything to move in together. Where Olivia had used her skills as a mastermind to gather all her squad and significant ones to help with their moving. All of it, if and when they kept the promise of feeding them more pizza they could eat.

When they had argued about it, he had thought they would have a few debates about where would they live. If they should choose one of their places or if instead, they should search for a new one. But the first and only time he brought the subject, Olivia made an impeccable reasoning, much to Rafael's faked dismay, not wanting to fuel Olivia's belief that she was always right. His place was the obvious choice, it was bigger than hers, the building was in a good shape, it was only ten blocks away from hers, and it was a lot easier than to search for a new one in this city. It wasn't a huge place, but the three-room apartment had high ceilings and big windows that let the sun bath the open structure, with a well-sized fireplace in the sitting room.

The plan had been to hope that an early rising would help them to sort the mess of boxes and dismantled furniture Olivia's place was, and trust that by the end of the day, when the sun went down, they would be sitting eating their pizza in a chair and not in the floor.

The first ones to arrive had been Carisi and Amanda with Jesse in her baby carriage. Rafael knew he wasn't the only one who had noticed how the two of them were together all the time and did the things as if they were a couple. But, after the scare they all had with Amanda's troubled delivery, he wouldn't be the one to say it out loud and bring to the table the conflict of interest it could make. As long as it wouldn't interfere with their work, it was too easy to turn a blind eye.

Amanda would be the one to look after the kids, as she was still at rest, and while waiting for the others their plan was to start to put things in the van Sony had borrowed from some cousin.

It did not take long until the next ones appeared. They had only taken down the first round of boxes when Rafael saw them. He already knew she would be there, as he had been the one who had outed them, but as much as he had imagined, the image they made was way better.

...

Olivia had told him about her suspicions of Fin's dating agenda, but he hadn't taken much interest until he was caught in the middle of the fuss.

He had been picking Noah from the daycare when he had seen a face he knew too well. And not only her presence in such a place was odd but seeing her chatting easily like old-friends with an overjoyed boy, who looked a lot like the one Fin had on a photo at his workplace was the icing on the cake. Rita Calhoun. He would have never matched with Fin.

He had approached her quickly, and he had seen her, for the first time in decades, blush like a tomato. It covered all of her face and her neck, and he hadn't been capable to stop the smugness of his smile. Rafael hadn't said more than two words to greed her and his phone had been already calling Olivia, knowing it would be one of these conversations you remember all of your life.

 _"Benson." She answered the phone, probably not looking at the ID._

 _"It's Rita." He said looking at the woman in front of him, who was still blushing, while he smirked._

 _"What?" Olivia asked him, apparently not knowing what was he talking about._

 _"Fin's lady. It's Rita." He said shortly like those words were the explanation of everything._

 _"What?" She asked him again. He wasn't the only one who was left speechless when someone surprised him._

 _"I have her in front of me at Noah's daycare. She was picking up Fin's grandchild." If Olivia said something he didn't catch it, as he was momentarily distracted by Rita's blow at his shoulder. Under her blush, her face had gone from surprise to rage. He laughed, enjoying his moment after being capable to return her mockery to him when Noah had outed him in front of his mother._

 _He was going to say something but the noise on the other side of the phone caught his attention. He heard Olivia's hurried steps, probably leaving her office. He didn't need the hands-off to hear them._

 _"It's Rita!" She screamed to all of them. He could imagine Fin's face of shock._

 _"What?" He heard Fins voice, higher than his usual tone._

 _"She's with Rafi at Noah's daycare." She explained. Rafael was having so much fun, he wouldn't berate Olivia's slip of his nickname. He couldn't hear much more, as, after those words, all went to chaos. The voices mixing and were to hight and fast to understand all of it._

 _"Love you. Talk later." He said to Olivia._

 _"Love you." She answered quickly before the call went off. He put the phone in his usual pocked and looked at Rita._

 _"That's why I haven't seen you with SVU cases lately." It wasn't a question only an observation._

 _"Yes." She admitted._

 _"How about..." He started looking at Noah. "We go to the park and get an ice cream?"_

 _"Yes please!" Fin's grandchild said._

 _"Ok," Rita said too._

 _"Don't look too smug Rafael," Rita said as the four of them walked to the park._

 _"You owned me." He said._

 _"I know." They both remembered that time with Lucia._

 _"Are you mad?" He asked. Despite he was having a good time he hadn't intended to let all the squad know._

 _"No, not at all. Even... maybe a little amused too." She said smiling. "Once the embarrassment goes away."_

 _"Rita Calhoun embarrassed," Rafael said mocking her a bit._

 _"It was Fin who wanted to keep it below the radar." She admitted._

 _"Mmmm..."_

They had spent a good afternoon, one where he had been able to reconnect with a good friend and one where he had been a witness of the love the little boy already had for Rita, and how it was returned by her.

...

And now, seeing the couple come with the little boy, he had thought again how despite he would have never put them together, they made sense.

It might have been the jeans she was wearing or the never-ending smile, that helped them forget about their meetings at court but after some teasing, she melted with them pretty quickly.

They had been moving the boxes and furniture between laughs and jokes when the last surprise of the day appeared, in the form of the sergeant Mike Dodds. Olivia had surprised him when she had told him she had invited the young sergeant, as he still was rather new at the squad. But help was always welcomed in these situations. He had been a bit late when they saw him, accompanied by a brunette young man he introduced as Casey, leaving them all stunned. But once the surprise was gone, they all had a good time. Laughing and joking all the time. And the best of all, there was not an accident, not even a nailed wood splinter.

...

Now, as he went to the balcony, to enjoy one of the last and surprising warm sunsets of the year, with only Olivia and Fin talking in the kitchen, the place was silent. The others had left a while ago.

"Here." He said to Rita, who was using one of the chairs.

"Thanks." She said as she covered the boy with the soft blue blanket Rafael had brought her.

"He was tired too, eh?" He said once he was sitting with Noah on his lap, beside Rita.

"I see he's not the only one." She said. "He's staying with us tonight."

"Are you already living together?" Rafael asked amused. Rita only shocked her head. "It is a no or a not yet?" The silly question made Rita laugh a little.

"I didn't ask you before, but how long have you two been together?"

"Three months," Rita said.

"You are so in love," Rafael said amused.

"I don't know what are you talking about," Rita said looking at him with her face of do not mess with me.

"I saw you too making eyes all day. And you are taking care of his grandson." Rafael said it as their actions during the day couldn't be more obvious. "He's drooling on your overpriced clothes."

"Pot to the kettle," Rita said looking at the city smirking.

"I'm not the one denying it." He only got a grunt as an acknowledgment of his words. "Hey." He said putting his hand on top of Rita's on the chair armrest, making her look at him. "I'm just happy for you." He smiled at her. "I know I'm not the best friend material but a care about you. You are one of the few people who really get me, despite all our bickering " He said remembering their time at the university.

"It's just..." She murmured. "I have never let anyone so close. And it's so easy with him. I'm terrified." She admitted.

"Believe it or not, I know the feeling." He said. "I took me three years to say something and at the end, Olivia made the first move." He admitted chuckling a little.

"That doesn't surprise me," Rita said amused by his admission but stayed silent for a minute. "I don't want to screw this relationship."

"Then don't," Rafael said like it was obvious, earning another murderous look from Rita. "I mean…" He tried to explain himself, not wanting to be yelled. "If it feels easy maybe it's because it is. I would have never matched you with Fin but when I looked at you two today…" Rafael took a deep breath before he continued his speech. "You two match." He squeezed her hand. "You balance each other. I know you are not a big fan of trusting another human being, but maybe it's time to make an exception. Don't you think?" He asked her.

"Sometimes you say things that make some sense," Rita said avoiding his question.

"I have my moments." He said.

"I think you had a good idea." She murmured.

"And If you want to talk, I'm here." It wasn't the time to tease her. "I'm just drawing a line to your sex life. I don't want to know anything about it." It was Rita's low guffaw what made him smile. Maybe a little teasing wasn't a bad idea after all.


	20. Chapter 20

_Hello there!_

 _This week I've been really inspired because I think I might have beaten my record of posting. I hope you like it, and I'm already waiting for your opinions._

 _I just wanted to say that I post this with all my care, and despite I might make a spoiler, I hope you'll like the piece I have chosen. It's in Spanish, so I have written the translation on my own. Please, be merciful._

 _It's from Luis Miguel, an amazing Mexican singer, and musical producer, that I love. The song it's titled Amarte es un placer._

 _The link:_ watch?v=ssnZ5tIHw1Y

And I really hope you'll like it.

Thank you all for your comments. :D!

* * *

 _Secrets._

Apparently, Rafael's family had a very different concept of two people going together to a gathering.

The ceremony had been the usual, at least if she compared it with the other ones she had attended before. But the image she had constructed in her mind changed a lot, once they had walked into the salon where the party was going to be held. Someone grabbing her hand had been the start and by the time she connected said hand to Lucia Barba persona, her son and Rafael -who was supposed to be her shield- were lost in a wave of unknown people.

Apparently, once the word that Rafael was bringing someone with him had spread, everyone had wanted to meet the woman who had made Rafael settle, at last. And by everyone, it meant much more people she had thought.

And Lucia had taken as hers the responsibility to introduce her to everyone she considered important, much to Olivia's mortification. Making her impossible to wipe off once she had grabbed her hand. Olivia hadn't wanted to know how many people were in there, but between family and friends, at least they were a hundred of people. A hundred of welcoming and cheerful people, with accents thicker than Rafael's, and with a lot of prying questions. Making her, really difficult to remember all the names with the faces.

As the time passed, she had caught glimpses of her boys, between conversations, but every time she had tried to reach them someone had crossed her path. And, during that time the food came. The couple had decided for a more casual settling and ordered a buffet, and the tables didn't have assigned spots, except for the bridal table. It was an organized chaos. And despite being left alone in the middle of this group of unknown people, she was having a good time. Rafael's family had been more than welcoming. Their questions might have been a bit too intrusive, but until now she had managed them pretty well.

...

The first time she had looked at her watch, once she had escaped the people for a few minutes, she saw they had been there for almost four hours. At first, she thought it was a bit strange Noah hadn't called for her, but once she spotted him on the other side of the salon, she understood why. Noah was in the arms of his abuela, probably being spoiled and having the time of his life. But as she kept looking, Rafael was still missing.

"Liv." The woman called her. Apparently, in her research for Rafael, she had gotten so concentrated that she hadn't seen how Lucia had come next to her.

"Lucia." She smiled at her. "Where's Rafi?" She asked, shivering when she saw the grin on Lucia's face, so similar to the one Rafael whore when he knew something she didn't and was enjoying it a lot.

"He's over there." She said pointing at the stage.

"What is he doing there?" She asked surprised. But Lucia didn't say anything to her, she only grinned.

"Just wait and see. You don't have to worry about anything darling. Noah is sleeping." She said, making Olivia look at his sleeping boy, he had woken up quite early and with the afternoon wedding and the party it wasn't strange he had fallen asleep, even with all the noise surrounding them. "I have already talked with Rafi, and everything is settled. I'm going to watch him tonight at my place, and tomorrow we'll have lunch together." Olivia was greatly surprised. It wouldn't be the first time Noah had spent the night at his abuela's place, and she wouldn't say no at the prospect of a bit of fun adult time. "It was Rafi's idea."

"That would be… perfect," Olivia said. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all. I love having him with me." She explained. "So, don't worry. I still have a few of his things, after the other times he had spent the night, plus his overnight bag, and one of Rafael's cousins is driving us home."

"Ok," Olivia said as she went to kiss her son's forehead. "Thank you so much, Lucia." She thanked the other woman with all her heart, loving the fact his son, now, had an abuela.

"Well then, have a good time," Lucia said as she went to kiss Olivia's check. "Just one more thing." Lucia gave Olivia a dubbed piece of paper. "Look at it when the real music starts." She explained seeing Olivia questioning eyes.

"Ok." She was a bit puzzled, not knowing what was happening.

"Don't worry sweetie. You are going to love it." Lucia said laughing. Olivia saw Lucia leave the room as her curiosity invaded her body, getting nervous as her brain started to picture possible scenarios. It was then, when she heard Rafael's voice for the first time in the last few hours, and it came from the microphone.

"Hello. May I have your attention?" He said, silencing the people in the room with just a few words, and making them all look at the stage. "A few days ago my cousin came to my office for the first time in all my years working as an ADA and asked me a personal favor." If Lucia's words hadn't made her curiosity step in, Rafael's words sure had done their work. "It was quite a surprise. And, because you only get married once, or that's the idea. Here I am." He concluded. "Javier and Maria." He said referring to the newlywed couple raising his glass of wine. "I'll be brief. I don't want to make an unnecessary long speech. I just ask you to step on the dance floor, please." He requested.

Olivia saw how the two of them did what Rafael asked, but while the groom was smiling -knowing what was about to happen- the bride looked a bit mistrustful. "I only want to wish you a happy, and fulfilling marriage, full of love, and happiness. And give you Maria, the surprise Javier wanted you to have on this day, without making you cringe while destroying one of the things you love." He said making the crowd laugh. "I just hope he has chosen the right one because I don't want to make a fool of myself." Olivia saw him leave the glass and take a few steps to the middle of the stage. "I would like to open the dance floor with Javier and Maria's first dance as husband and wife," Rafael said as the crowd started to applaud and whistle. And how some of them, probably from Javier's side (or Rafael's side) shouted a few words she didn't understand before the music started.

As the first sounds flooded the room, she tried to study the paper Lucia had given her, but before she could take a real look Maria's surprise scream distracted her. Apparently, her husband had chosen well, if she had to go by Maria's reaction. But what she didn't understand, was which paper had Rafael in all this.

She saw how the newlyweds started to dance when she tried to decipher what she had on her hands. She could see Rafael's handwriting. Neat as always. Organized like it was a poem. But her chance to read it slipped through her fingers when something else caught her attention.

 _El vino es mejor en tu boca (The wine is better in your mouth)_

 _te amo es más tierno en tu voz (I love you is tender in your voice)_

 _la noche en tu cuerpo es mas corta (The night on your body is shorter)_

 _me estoy enfermando de amor. (I'm getting sick with/of love)_

What had caught her attention was Rafael's voice. He was singing, and it was stunning. She had heard him before, but never like this. It had been mostly a low hum when he sang a lullaby to Noah, and sometimes while he was cooking, or cleaning.

He had a beautiful and sexy voice, and it was making her skin tingle with emotions she couldn't describe.

 _Quisiera caminar tu pelo (I would like to walk your hair)_

 _quisiera hacer noche en tu piel (I would like to make night in your skin)_

 _pensar que fue todo un sueño (To think it was all a dream)_

 _después descubrirte otra vez. (Then discover you again)_

She got lost in his voice until she felt someone staring at her. She only had to look forward to see the green eyes she knew so well. Rafael was looking at her, and only her. It might have been his cousin the one who had put him on the stage, but right now she felt like he was singing just for her.

 _Y amarte como yo lo haría (And love you like I would do)_

 _como un hombre a una mujer (As a man to a woman)_

 _tenerte como cosa mía (Have you as my thing)_

 _y no podérmelo creer (And I could not believe it)_

 _tan mía, mía, mía, mía (So mine, mine, mine, mine)_

 _que eres parte de mi piel (That you are part of my skin)_

 _conocerte fue mi suerte (Meting you was my luck)_

 _amarte es un placer, mujer. (Loving you is a pleasure, woman)_

She couldn't look away, too mesmerized by his voice. Forgetting she was supposed to read the paper she had on her hands to understand what was he saying. She didn't care about it, knowing in her soul, he was singing a song about love and passion.

 _Quisiera beber de tu pecho (I would like to drink from your chest)_

 _la miel del amanecer (The honey of the dawn)_

 _mis dedos buscando senderos (My fingers looking for trails)_

 _llegar al fin de tu ser. (Reach the end of your being)_

She felt hot, really hot. And she was sure she was blushing like a teenager. And his voice, deep and powerful, was making her feel a lot of things.

 _Bailar el vals de las olas (Dance the waltz of the waves)_

 _cuerpo a cuerpo tu y yo (Body to body, you and I)_

 _fundirme contigo en la sombras (Merge with you in the shades)_

 _y hacerte un poema de amor. (And do you a love poem)_

 _Y amarte como yo lo haría (And love you as I would do)_

 _como un hombre a una mujer (As a man to a woman)_

 _tenerte como cosa mía (Have you as my thing)_

 _y no podérmelo creer (And I could not believe it)_

 _tan mía, mía, mía, mía (So mine, mine, mine, mine)_

 _que eres parte de mi piel (That you are part of my skin)_

 _conocerte fue mi suerte (Meting you was my luck)_

 _amarte es un placer, mujer. (Loving you is a pleasure, woman)_

 _..._

She stood lost in the spell he had created until the applauding crowd got noisy enough to broke it. He was walking towards her, between whistles and shouts, probably flatterings and some friendly mockery, and some friendly punches at his shoulders. Not stopping until he was in front of her.

"Hey." He murmured.

"Hey." They were both breathless, neither of them breaking the inches separating their bodies. He was the first one to move, stroking slowly the side of Olivia's wrist, and grinning as he entwined their fingers. Her hand went to his cheek, caressing him at the same time she bitted her lip. And his other hand went to her hips, pulling her closer to him. "Damn Rafi." She cursed, making him laugh a little. Neither of them didn't know what to say.

"Did..." He murmured. "Did you like it?". He asked.

"Gods Rafi!" She was still speechless. The hand on his cheek went to the back of his neck, pushing his forehead on hers. "Do you really have to ask?"

"I didn't want to assume."

"This time, you have my permission." She didn't know how to be closer to him, despite having her still trembling body flushed to his.

"Good to know." He said kissing her nose. "Do you want to dance?"

"Yes."

Neither of them said anything more until they were dancing in the middle of the dancing floor.

"I know I said it earlier, but you look gorgeous." He said smiling, remembering how he had felt earlier in the day when she had left their room, and he has seen how the hunter green floor-length dress fitted her. It had a simple fall with a chiffon A-line, cap sleeves, and bateau neckline. With low high heels, so they were almost the same high.

"Thank you." She said smiling, still a bit flustered. "You don't look so bad yourself." He might have been wearing one of his tailored suits, but she knew this one was one of her favorites. It was the black one with the vest and white shirt, and he had chosen the green tie to complement her.

"Did you read the paper?" He asked her. He wasn't looking at her as they danced flushed one to another with their cheeks touching.

"No, I couldn't"

"It was for you." He murmured. "I mean the song."

"I know. You weren't subtle." She laughed, this time looking at him in the eyes. She could only see a tiny circle of green around his pupils. And she knew her eyes wore the same expression. "Your mother has Noah."

"I know."

"You schemed a bit," Olivia said.

"I just wanted a bit of free time, but... Gods Liv..." He murmured. "I didn't know it'll be like this after the song. If I had known I would have sung for you on our first night together." He was now making a little bit fun of her.

"Shut up!" She was smiling despite her blush and her slap on his neck.

"Do you want to go?" He asked, not hiding his arousal now.

"Not yet." She said, thinking that maybe it would be her moment to tease him a bit. "I want to dance a bit more and have a few more glasses of that wonderful whine."

"Ok." He said too calm, making her look at him and ask herself why her teasings hadn't had an effect on him. "I booked us a room."

"Really?"

"Mmm." He nodded at her surprise.

"And what about clothes for tomorrow?"

"In the room." She could get used to this pampering.

"You have everything planned."

"Yes." He assured. "The room has a jacuzzi." He said grinning like he was planning a mischief, making her laugh.

"Mmmm..." She didn't say anything, choosing to kiss his cheek and scratch the back of his neck, making him squirm. After what she had done to her with the song, she wanted to win this round. "Good to know. I just hope you'll enjoy your present." She murmured in his ear.

Those words made Rafael stop them, and look at her with open eyes.

"Liv?" He asked her, seeing how it was her time to smirk.

"Don't think too hard honey." She laughed. "You'll see when it's time." She said to him before leaving him speechless on the dance floor, as she went to grab another glass of wine.


	21. Chapter 21

_Hello! This one's a bit shorter but I hope you'll like it._

 _I'm already waiting to read your opinions. Thank you all for the comments._

 _You might want to look at the link below to have a visual (the form and font) of what I try to describe at the end of the chapter._

w w w. custommade. c o m

/rectangular-handriting-pendant-necklace/by/sparkles/

If you can not use the link if you search in, rectangular handwriting pendant necklace sparkles, is the third one of the first line of options.

* * *

 _Chime_

Her eyes were closed, but her other senses provide all the information she wants.

Her tongue still holds the vibrant intensity of the champagne Rita had served them, accompanied by the lingering taste of strawberries, mango, and chocolate they had for dessert. It's still there because they had just left the table a few minutes ago, the conversation and the food to good to do it before.

As she breathes, the scent of the vanilla and wood scented candles -Rita has placed all over the place, in the right places and quantity to have it smelling good but not crowded- invades her body. Small particles, from the perfume she chose for tonight, are still on her skin, but Rafael's scent has already conquered her body. It happens every time they are so close for so long. She loves it.

The first time she saw how few bottles of cologne he owned, she was surprised. And she was surprised again when she saw how little he used them, as their morning routine mingled. Not that she would ever complain about it, she loves his natural scent. It's dark, and a little spicy, like the coffee he likes to drink. It is home. She doesn't have to move to catch it. Because if it's not there physically, it's always in the back of her mind.

Her skin has some goosebumps. She doesn't know if they are because the cold air coming from the open balcony door or if they are because of Rafael. He's shielding one of her sides with his body and rests one of his hands on the thin line that separates her lower back from her butt. Below the dress, her skin aches after his touch, wanting it everywhere and now. That is her clue to her level of tipsiness, at least she knows she's not the only one. She knows that besides the kids, only Amanda is sober. Showing one of the multiples advantages of breastfeeding. Now she knows that from now on, water is the best option.

His breathing feels heavy on the curve of her neck, and she knows he can feel her trembling body, as she relies more on his chest. His hand squeezes her hip, melting her to him. She doesn't care if the others are watching, although she doubts they are. With the kids sleeping, they are all in their little bubbles of happiness.

The sound of the countdown invades her eardrum.

...8, 7...

She hears the happy screams from the TV. The first ones are not in her memory. With the kids so small, they had decided for an at home party. Noah has been asking to wait for the new year with them, but after the day he has had, she wasn't surprised when she found him sleeping on Rita's couch. And she hadn't had the heart to wake him up when she thought the day he would have tomorrow, although they might need to bribe him with pancakes for breakfast.

A few weeks ago, they decided to celebrate New Year's Eve with just the squad (minus Mike and Casey, who are with Casey's family at Ohio), and with the kids so small it only took one single offer from Fin to crush at Rita's place. And tomorrow Rafael, Noah and her have one of the annual parties from Rafael's family.

When Fin offered to host, she had feared Rita's reaction. And what a fool she had been, it had only taken her a few minutes to know it was their home and not Rita's place. You can see Fin's touch everywhere.

...6, 5...

The following numbers come with a husky voice that she knows perfectly. Rafael's keeps the countdown just for her, tickling her skin while he murmurs the numbers in her ear. The corners of her lips try to form a smile, but her teeth keep her lower lip prisoner, trying to stop the moan she knows Rafael is fishing for.

"Cariño." He says not keeping the countdown anymore. Olivia knows he wants her to open her eyes, and she consents him. His green eyes are sparkling, full of desire and happiness. They keep looking at each other for seconds, minutes or hours, she doesn't know, and she doesn't care.

The shouts that come from the TV, welcoming the new year, are the ones that break the spell. Only Rafael's hand on her cheek, caressing with his thumb the corner of her lips, prevents her from looking towards the noise source.

"Happy New Year, mi amor." He murmurs on her lips just before kissing her and takes advantage of her open mouth. The kiss has nothing to do with their normal when they are in public. It's hard, a bit clumsy, and wet. He's brutal in his assault, but she doesn't stay behind. Her hands go to his neck, grabbing the neck of his light grey shirt, keeping the dance with their tongues.

Olivia is so overwhelmed by the kiss that at first, she does not hear the squeals of surprise and encouragement that, in the end, make them stop. She doesn't dare to look beyond Rafael's neck, where she's hiding, already blaming the alcohol in her system.

"I didn't know you had it in you counselor!" It's Fin the first one who speaks. Rita's blow on his shoulder is close behind, making them all laugh despite their embarrassment.

"Let's go see the fireworks. We have good views from the balcony." She said, grabbing Fin by the hand an leading them.

Rita is right, there are not many buildings covering the views and they have a wonderful view of the fireworks that illuminate the neighborhood sky. At first, they make a bit of small talk discussing their beauty, but soon the silence settles between them, but it's not uncomfortable.

"Here," Rafael says as he puts a small box in her hand. It's a tiny black box, without any mark or signature on any side.

"Rafi..." Olivia says. "For your sake, I hope there is not a ring inside this box." Her voice is serious, but Rafael doesn't say anything. And when she sees his eyes open and his pale face her hands tremble.

"Rafi?" She calls him feeling bad because she has ruined his surprise. One of her hands covers her mouth while the other keeps holding the box, not daring to open it.

It doesn't take her long to see how his body is barely holding his laugh and how his face is losing the battle to keep the seriousness.

"You should have seen your face." He says, not hiding his chuckles anymore. Rafael tries to kiss her cheek, but she doesn't let him. "Don't worry, you can open it."

"I hate you." She says. She's not mad or disappointed because the box doesn't hold a ring, she's just exasperated at him. He always knows how to get her.

"You love me."

"If you say so." She says smacking his belly.

Quietly she opens the box. It's black inside too, and in the middle, there's a platinum necklace. It's rectangular, 1-inch width and 4-inches long tops, with a small oak tree at his base. The chain is long, long enough to hide it in her clothes if she wants to, and when she touches it, she feels there is something on the other side. Olivia turns it in her hand and sees words, and reads her name, and Rafael's, and Noah's.

She keeps looking at their names for a while, forgetting about the fireworks. It isn't until she nestles the necklace in her heart when she looks at Rafael.

"It's beautiful." She says, not having any more words.

"I hoped so." He confesses, letting her see his nervousness.

"But Christmas was a week ago." Leave it to her to complain after receiving a present.

"It wasn't ready." He said plainly.

"I love it. Thank you." She doesn't have the words to express what she was feeling, and instead, she rests her forehead on top of his for a few seconds and kisses his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." She ears him say kissing her hair as she rests her body on his, letting him surround her by her shoulders, feeling safe and loved.

"It can be rewritten," Rafael says while they are looking at the fireworks hugging.

"What?" She asks, not daring to look at him.

"The names." Rafael murmurs. "If you want to add more, it can be done."

"Oh."

"Yeah, it's just... When the jeweler told me I remembered when we talked about having more kids. And I thought you would want to know it." He tries to keep his voice calm, but he knows he can't fool Olivia anymore.

"You thought right," Olivia says squeezing his hand. "They are amazing news." She doesn't want to sound too eager because, despite being an amazing dad to Noah, he is still terrified of the idea.

And, as she keeps looking at the fireworks, she can't come with anything to wish for the new year, because right now she has all she had ever dreamed of.

* * *

 _It tried to write the chapter mostly on Olivia's point of view, the things she feels and sees._

 _I really hope you'll like it._


	22. Chapter 22

_Hello there! Here's is the next one. As always I hope you'll like it._

 _I wanted to thank you all for your support. I know I have done it before, but it amazed me how much people is following the story or has favorited it. So thank you!_

* * *

 _Déjà vu._

"Fin." The young voice on the other side of the phone was too distraught for his liking, and that joined by how unusual the call was, was enough to make him shudder.

"What is it? Whats wrong?" His calm voice didn't match his thoughts.

"It's Rita." The young boy hadn't been enough time with them for him to know all Rita's moods. Despite how long ago it seemed, it had only been a month. "She's been acting really weird."

He should have known this would happen, after all the pressure she had put herself under with her niece's trial. And she never listened to him.

"Listen to me."

"I don't like it."

"Hey, Seth" Fin tried to catch his attention. "It's ok. I don't want you to worry, at least not much more, ok?"

"Ok."

"Where is your brother?"

"He's supposed to be here in ten minutes. Rita picked me up at school, and she sat on the window. She hasn't said anything since then, and it's been an hour."

"It's ok. I'll be there as soon as I can, ok?"

"Fin, she's wearing one of your jumpers, and it has a hole in one of the cuffs." Despite the situation, the surprised and odd tone of the boy's voice made Fin smile. Rita had tried to throw the jumper a million of times, even when she loved the old and beaten thing more than him.

"Yeah, don't let her fool you that hole is her fault."

"Ok." Fin didn't know if his words had weirded the boy even more.

"Did you take your asthma medication?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Ok."

After ending the call, it didn't take him much time to gather his things and go to Olivia's office.

"Liv." Fin called her at the same time he softly knocked at the doorframe.

"Hey, what's up?" She asked removing her glasses and resting her face on her hand. The stressful week was catching her quicker than she wanted.

"Everything it's ok, but I have a bit of a situation at home."

"Do I need to worry?" She asked. "The kids ok?"

"Yeah. It's Rita." He said. "I think the case got her and she's scaring Seth. I was with him on the phone not five minutes ago."

"Poor kid."

"And Rafael?" Once they had started to spend more time together outside of work he had easily spotted the mask he used. And he saw how much the cases affected him.

"Enjoying a free afternoon with Noah. Only boys allowed." Olivia said smiling.

"Good therapy."

"Well, go home. I don't think I'll be here much more time anyway." She said closing one of the multiple folders she had on her desk. "I think we deserve a break."

"Ok. Don't work too much." Fin was about to leave when Olivia's words stopped him.

"You know, domesticity suits you."

"Haha, really funny Liv." He said seeing how proud of herself she looked.

"I would have never put you in the white picket fence house and two kids picture, but it suits you. You only need the dog." Rita's inherited brownstone didn't have a white fence, but sure it had a big backyard.

It hadn't been all a fairytale at all in the beginning. Being two strong and independent people who had lived alone for a long time had made them crash quite a few times. Each had their little routines and quirks, and each had short temperaments. But after a few arguments and reconciliations (that had been the fun part), and with the help of the space Rita's place offered quickly they had settled, more easily than either of them could have thought.

"Rita is more of a cat lady. She would kill me if I bought a dog" Fin said making them both laugh.

"I'm serious." And it was true, despite the way she had said it.

"It's only temporary."

"Sure."

"It's only been a month." He was getting short on answers. He was getting soft. "Sometimes it takes time to find the relatives."

"If you say so," Olivia said. "Would it be that bad, if they didn't find them?"

"No, it wouldn't." He confessed after taking his time to answer Olivia's question, thinking how Rita, and he, were tricked by his son. A month since they had been fostering two young boys, of fourteen and ten, who had lost their parents in a car accident. A month and a half since his son Ben, who was their social worker, had sweet talk him and Rita to foster them while they searched for their relatives, after three visits to the ER during their stay at a home group due to Seth's asthma mixed with the stress, all the changes, and not having an adult running after him to take his medication 24/7. After all, they were still too young.

"Sorry if..." Olivia tried to apologize when she saw his serious face.

"No, it's ok." Fin said. "Tomorrow."

"Try to rest."

"You too." He said before leaving.

...

His beaten corolla brought him home quite quickly thanks to the unusual low traffic, and once he was inside his home, he heard the TV. He didn't recognize the program, but he could easily predict it was one of the programs the boys liked.

After leaving his coat inside the lobby wardrobe, he walked towards the sitting room where the noise originated and saw the boys sitting on the couch. The both had olive skin and dark brown hair, but while Cole's eyes were brown Seth's were hazel.

"Hey."

"Hello!" The two said at the same time.

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah," Seth said.

"Where is she?" Fin asked them.

"In her office."

"What is wrong with her?" Cole asked worriedly.

"We had a hard case, and it hit her too close." They were too young to know the whole story, and if at some point they were supposed to know it wasn't his place to tell.

"Sure?" Cole was too clever for his own good, and he being a fourteen-year-old teenager didn't help either.

"Sure." Fin said trying to persuade the boys. "But I'm going to need your help."

He left the boys in the kitchen, and after a quick change of clothes, he went to Rita's office.

He found her just like Seth had told him, sitting on the bench beside the window wearing his jumper and hugging a pillow, and looking to the backyard. Fin approached her slowly and kneeled beside her without touching her.

"Honey." He didn't like to use with her the voice he used with the victims, but in moments like this, he didn't have much choice. "Rita."

"Hey." Her smile wasn't a truthful one, and she hadn't looked at him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry." Fin said making her look at him surprised.

"Why?"

"I should have been here."

"Fin." She smiled again, it didn't reach her eyes, but at least this time it was a real one. "You have nothing to be sorry. But, if it makes you feel better, I forgive you" Rita said, and grabbed one of his hands between hers.

"Thank you." His concern was obvious in his eyes. "Now the hard question, how are you?"

"Tired." She answered sincerely. "And angry. After all this time, I thought he didn't have any more power over me. I had to take a shower after the memories came."

"It's just a bad day." He tried to comfort her.

"He was the real reason I barely dated during my years at Harvard. And he never got that far, after all the months he harassed me." Besides the therapist she saw for a couple of years he was the only other human being who knew the whole story.

"I know, and you beat him every day." Fin squeezed her hand and sat beside her on the bench. "Living your life, and letting me in it."

"I try." Rita leaned on his chest, letting him comfort her.

"And you succeed every day. Today is just a tiny pothole." Fin kissed her shoulder. "And if you are up for it I have the kids settling the living room for a movie marathon, with popcorn, sodas, and blankets."

"Really?" She smiled. "May I ask about the saga you choose?"

"Your secret loved one." Her laugh brought him a smile and the happiness he felt when he was the one behind didn't fit in his heart.

"I would love to attend." She was caressing his cheek and chastely kissed his lips before she got up. But before they left the room, Rita stopped in front of the closed door. "Fin."

"What?" He asked curiously seeing how she was biting her lip. It wasn't unusual to see her shyer and searching physical contact after moments like this one, but he could count on one hand the times he had seen her with this level of indecision.

"It might be a madness..." She murmured. "If the social services do not find any relative, I don't want them to leave." She looked at him with her green eyes full of hope. "I know it's too soon, but..." Fin stopped her ramblings with a hand on her lips.

If he was honest with himself, Rita was right. Their relationship had yet to reach the six month period in two weeks, and he didn't know what Ben had said to the judge to get them the ok to foster. It had all happened so quickly. He was comfortable with it but raising to kids after three months of living together and six months of a relationship was beyond his craziest dreams. But right now, after a month of arriving home to her and the kids, he couldn't imagine his life in any other way.

It might kick him in the but at some point, because he still remembers how strained the relationship with Ben had been during his teenage years, but he didn't want to say no to this opportunity to himself, and to Rita.

"My only request it's the free card if I want a dog." Rita had surprised him too. Despite seeing her with Olivia's and Amanda's kids, he wouldn't have said she might want her own kids. But after this past weeks, the image he had of her in that aspect had changed completely. And, if he had to go by her reaction to his words, he had said the correct thing.

She might not have found the right partner to have them until now, or she might not have searched them, but they had found her, and neither of them was going to throw them out.

"I'll think about it." She said with false seriousness.

"Rita." They were both smiling enjoying their banter.

"What about a cat?" She asked making him growl. "Come on, or we won't find any popcorn." He stood there smiling, looking how she walked into the sitting room laughing as she heard the first notes of the soundtrack of her favorite hidden pleasure.

He would always remember the day he found the eight special edition DVDs chronologically ordered in a shelf beside the TV, and the priceless face she couldn't mask when she found him looking at them. And how much fun he had that afternoon teasing her.

A few days later he found the books in her office.

Harry Potter, who would have said. Surprisingly the combination of magic and adventures has a strong magnet on made her happy, and carefree for a few hours. And share that time with her was a small price to pay. One he wouldn't mind paying over and over again, even if he ended knowing the whole script.

…

It didn't take her much longer to gather her things and head towards her parked car in the building parking to go home after this nightmare day they all had.

As she was driving home, her mind went to one place to another, reminding her despite her tiredness, the long list of things she was supposed to do after work. The one that amazingly grew two or four lines in the time she crossed one. And dreading the mess she could find once she stepped inside her home. It was true both, Rafael and Noah, were quite ordered, but she had been welcomed by a few messes, during their relationship. And with the day they had had, she also knew Rafael would have a hard time to say no to their boy.

Olivia closed the door and after leaving her coat and purse in the hall, and after a quick walk to the living room, she saw her predictions hadn't been wrong.

The lights were dimmed enough letting her see the light coming from the makeshift tent of sheets that covered half of the living room, including the couch and TV, and had an opening in the side she could see from where she was standing.

She was about to make them know she was home, seeing how they hadn't seen her come when she heard Noah's voice.

"¿Porque dijo esas cosas malas? (Why did she say those mean things?)" That serious and concerned tone on Noah's voice caught her attention, making her tiptoe towards their construction not wanting to be seen.

When she didn't ear Rafael's voice, her curiosity got the best of her and made her try to look through the hole. Rafael was laying down on top of a pile of pillows and blankets with Noah resting his back on his chest, both looking at one of Noah's books.

She saw how Rafael still looking at the book tried to put his answer to Noah's complicated question in a way he could understand.

"Bueno... (Well...)" Rafael started, and Olivia internally cursed herself for not paying more attention to Rafael's lessons of Spanish. She understood a few things, but her understanding wasn't enough anymore to follow a whole conversation between the two of them.

After Rafael had made his mission to teach Noah his maternal language a few months ago after Noah's request (he wanted to know his papi's language). In those few months, he had made such a great progress that now he could follow a conversation for his age with only a few translations, leaving her behind.

"Hay veces que... (There are times...)" Olivia saw Rafael put the book down and how he moved Noah so the boy sat on his lap facing him. "Hay veces que después de una pelea no estas listo para entender porque pasó, y en lugar de hablar dices cosas que duelen. (There are times, after a fight that you might not be prepared to understand why it happened, and insteat you say mean things.)"

"Ok," Noah said thoughtfully. Olivia loved seeing moments like this one but hated not being able to follow what was happening.

"¿Lo entendiste?, porque use palabras de mayores. (Did you understand? Because I used big boy's words)" Rafael asked him.

"Os pelear (You fight)," Noah said.

"Si, nos peleamos (Yes, we fought)," Rafael said correcting him gently.

"Y está enfadada at you (And she's mad at you)."

"Si (Yes)."

"¿Fuiste malo con ella? (You were mean ot her?)" Noah asked him.

"Es algo mas complicado (It's a bit more complicated than that.)"

"Ok," Noah murmured. "Did you say sorry? Mommy says you have to say sorry after a fight."

"No, I didn't," Rafael said smiling at Noah's way to see the world, still pure and simple.

"Prueba (Try it)," Noah said like it was the more obvious thing in the world, and leaving him speechless

"Sabes... (You know...)" Rafael said. "Creo que tienes razón, mijo (I think you are right, mijo)." Rafael's eyes were a bit red as he pulled Noah in a big hug making the boy laugh with his reaction.

"Hello!" Olivia exclaimed using the moment to let them know of her presence.

"Mommy!" Noah came to her as fast as he could and while they hugged she looked at Rafael. She murmured a latter, and he nodded while blinking a few times to keep the tears from falling.

"We were waiting for you," Rafael said.

"Really?" Olivia asked surprised.

"Yeah!" Noah said overjoyed. "Papi said it's movie night."

"Movie night?" She asked Noah.

"Yeah!"

"What movie?" Olivia asked already knowing the answer.

"Inside out!" She kind of like this one, despite Rafael's disagreement.

"Good choice, honey." Olivia smiled after earing Rafael's grunt.

"Your pijamas mommy."

"Do you want me to put on my pijamas?" Olivia asked.

"Yes!" Noah said as if it was obvious.

"I called for the pizza fifteen minutes ago, it shouldn't take much longer."

"Ok. I go change."

...

It didn't take long for Noah to fall asleep between them, once the boy had the belly full despite how much he wanted to stay awake he always lost the battle.

"Is he out?" Rafael asked seeing how Olivia caressed the boy's head.

"Like a dead." She said looking at Rafael. "Did you have a good time?" Olivia asked making him laugh.

"You are dying to ask what we were talking about." At least Olivia had the decency to flush a bit after Rafael's words.

"No, I just asked about your afternoon."

"Ok. Then, yes we had a good time at the park." Rafael said amused seeing how Olivia bitted her lip. "And how was yours?"

"Rafa!" She whined.

"What?"

"You win, what were you talking about?"

"I've told you before you should make an effort to learn a bit more of Spanish." He loved moments like this one.

"I know but..."

"I don't pretend you to learn it all but at least to defend yourself. It's not so hard."

"It's frustrating."

"What is it frustrating?"

"He's a little sponge," Olivia said referring to Noah. "While to me, it's so hard." She admitted flustered, and Rafael tried to hide his smile after seeing how much it bothered her. "So, are you going to tell me what was the conversation you two had, or not."

"We saw Yelina." He murmured surprising Olivia.

"Oh."

"Yeah." He said. "It wasn't pleasant."

"She stills blames you." Olivia didn't need to ask.

"It appears so, she made it pretty clear."

"I'm sorry." She said squeezing his hand.

"Don't worry too much I had a fearless protector with me." Rafael's words made her smile despite the pain she could see in his eyes. "I think he mostly understood the way she was saying her words that the meaning of them, but he didn't catch a big part of them despite her accent," Rafael said surprised.

"He'll be a menace."

"I know, I'm already dreading it," Rafael said making them both laugh.

"But how are you?" Despite the light tone they had shared she was hurting for him.

"I'm fine. I think I needed it." Rafael said. "During the investigation, I still had conflicted feelings. But when I saw her today, I felt nothing more than hurt. That she could think I would have done something so low." Rafael brought her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles. "She doesn't deserve more of our time. I'm fine. And Noah just asked because of his curious mind." He kissed her hand again. "But I'm serious about the language thing." He said softly bitting the skin available.

"Rafa!" She giggled trying to keep her voice low for Noah. "You are such a child, always with your games."

"Then come to play." He said changing the mood surrounding them and stole her breath with his eyes. "They are funnier ways to learn." He offered, making her blush again. "You just have to ask." He moved to give her a peck on her lips before he grabbed Noah to move him to his bed, leaving her there not knowing what to say.


	23. Chapter 23

_Hello there!_

 _Sorry for the delay, I wanted to post this earlier but alas, time bit me. I hope you'll like this silly one._

* * *

 _Bath._

"Anyone here?" Olivia asked out loud when she saw the empty living room. After Rafael's message, she had thought she would be the last one to arrive home. But after seeing the empty apartment, if it wasn't because she had seen Rafael's keys seating beside hers in the bowl they kept beside the door, she thought she might have been wrong. "Rafa?" She tried again with her phone already in her hand, prepared to call him. "Rafa?" She had walked to the kitchen when she heard his voice.

"Bathroom." His muffled voice arrived at the kitchen.

She followed his voice to their bathroom and saw the light escaping through the crack door. She hadn't heard the shower on, and it was a bit strange he hadn't come out when she had arrived.

"What are you doing in here?" She asked curiously, as she opened the door. A wave of heat and humidity, accompanied by the sound of someone moving inside the water, surrounded her before she could look properly at the room.

"Hello," Rafael said from the bathtub. He was laying proudly between bubbles and lavender scented salts.

"Hey," Olivia said from the door, seeing how he was in relaxing mode. "I didn't know you took baths."

"I think it's been years since the last one I had." He said thoughtfully.

"Are those my treasured and hidden scented salts?" She asked seeing how his cheeks dyed with a bit of red.

"Maybe." He said smugly. "After Hank's sentence today, I needed some time off."

"I can understand." Olivia was tired too. "But you'll have to resupply me." She said with false seriousness.

"Come here." He asked her, lifting his hand and waiting for her to move. It didn't take her long to consent him, grabbing his hand, while she sat as well as she could at the tub's edge.

"Hello." He said again kissing her knuckles, his eyes full of mischief, making her laugh at his antics.

"Noah?"

"Still with my mother." He explained. "When I called them they were about to start preparing dinner. I didn't have the heart to stop them." With their work sometimes Noah didn't see his grandmother as much as he could. "How are you?" He could see the tiredness in her eyes.

"I left Pipa at the airport."

"Gods." He rested his head on the edge as he closed his eyes, squeezing Olivia's hand. "The never-ending nightmare."

"Don't I know." Olivia sighed. "She's feeling extremely guilty. His father wants her to change the kid's surnames. I don't know what would I do if I was in her shoes."

"I don't think it's a bad idea." Rafael murmured. "Does that make me a bad person?" He asked Olivia.

"For what, wanting those kids to have a childhood as normal as they can after this?" She said. "I don't think so."

"It's brutal the way he kept the secret all this time."

"Yeah." They didn't say much more for a few minutes, both a bit clouded by their thoughts. "Anyway, I think we deserve a bit of time off."

"You are right." He said.

"I'm always right." She said seeing how Rafael was looking at her. "Don't look at me like that counselor, you know it."

"If you say so." He said a bit too quiet for Olivia's liking. Usually, when they bantered, he had one of his playful remarks at arm's length.

"I'll go change. We can order something for dinner. By what time does your mother bring Noah or are you going to go pick him?"

"Do you want to join me?" He asked her, his eyes light with mischief. She didn't have time to answer before he pushed her against him into a hug, making her yelp and laugh with him as her clothes got soaked.

"Rafa!" She yelled at him, still laughing without real annoyance at his childishness.

"What?" He asked her softly pinching her sides, but with enough strength to make her squirm on his lap, sending splashes of water everywhere.

"You are such a child." She said between pinches, not being able to grab Rafael's hands to make him stop. "Stop! Please!" She yelled at him still trying to grab his hands, until she succeeded. She shifted on top of him until she was comfortably sitting on his lap, and held his hands on top of his head. "Was that really necessary?"

"Mmmm," He nodded with playfulness, not even trying to break her hold of him. "Come on, clothes." He ordered her, notwithstanding she was the one with the power.

"You shouldn't be so bossy."

"Until now I haven't found any problem."

"That witty mouth." She said on his lips, not kissing them yet, just remaining there, keeping an inch between them.

"You love it," Rafael said as he tried to remove the space between them, but she didn't relent, and backed up.

"You wish." She said smiling as she stood up, still in the bathtub. "You've made such a mess." Knowing it couldn't get worse, she stepped outside, and a pool of water started to form at her feet.

"I'll help you." Her hands had barely started to undo the buttons of her shirt, and she felt Rafael's hands on her pants, doing a quick job and taking them down with her panties with a swift movement.

"Eager, are we?" She asked amused.

"No, why?"

She was giggling like a little girl, fighting against her soaked clothes and trying not to fall down on the floor. Rafael was laughing too, looking at her. After their last case, they needed to breathe, and forget for a while the atrocities some people could do. Quickly she tore away the last part of her clothes and stepped again into the hot water. It felt so good to be with him like this, carefree and happy.

"Here," Rafael took her hands and gently guided her between his legs. After a few readjustments, Olivia rested her body on top of his with her face hidden on his neck and her torso resting on his chest. It might not be the best position, but it gave them visual contact with the physical contact.

For a while, neither of them said anything, letting the comfortable silence surround them while she drew patterns in his grayish chest hair, and toyed with the white gold chain that surrounded his neck.

"I've never done this," Olivia said as her fingers kept drafting abstract patterns.

"What mi amor?" His hand mimicked her movements on her back.

"This." She said simply. "Share the intimacy of a bath with someone." Rafael grabbed the hand she had on his chest and didn't hesitate to entwine her hand with his and rest them on top of his heart, letting them both feel it's slow and steady beat.

"I think I haven't, either. You are the first one with whom I don't have any secrets with, with whom I'm an open book." She could feel his smile on her hair before he kissed it.

"Rafi." She murmured, this time looking at his eyes.

"It's the truth." He says smiling, with their joined hands still resting on his chest.

"How am I supposed to keep my hands to myself when you say things like this?" She asked with some unmasked frustration in her voice despite her smile, making Rafael laugh.

"Don't do it." He said easily. "It's been a few days, and If I recall correctly it was… how they say it… ah! A quicky." He said as his eyebrows went up almost to his airline. It was Olivia's turn to laugh. "And having your naked body on top of me, it's like offering water to a lost man in the desert. And I'm a man after all."

Olivia giggled as she moved, not stopping until she was sitting on his lap, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"As much as I believe in your performances, I'm pretty tired, and my beloved pillow is making quite an offer." Rafael sat up straight and nuzzled her chest so she wouldn't see how her words had affected him. It wasn't every day when they had time to full around like this, and he was loving every piece of it.

"That might be right." He said without leaving his spot on her chest. "But I can make up for it in other ways." He offered, kissing the skin between her breasts.

"How so?" Olivia murmured.

"Apparently, you don't remember my performances as much as I thought." Rafael looked at her eyes while his hands were touching the skin of her tights, each time higher and higher, making her tremble. "Because if you did, you wouldn't be crossed between me, and the bed sheets." He had slowed his movements and watched how she was reacting. "But tonight I'm feeling generous."

"Really?" She asked with sassiness, waiting for the punishment.

"Do you think, misbehaving it's a good choice?" He asked making her jump as he gently pinched her groin. Olivia squeezed her hold on his shoulders, and only shook her head not having the strength to say any word out loud.

"Good." Rafael smiled. "As I was saying, I'm feeling generous, so if you want, I would love to demonstrate you again how unlike your beloved bed, I can give you my fair share of orgasms."

He didn't let her say anything because as soon as the last word left his mouth, his lips went to her breasts again and one of his hands slipped between her tights making her moan. "I think it wouldn't be too forward of me to think you are up to it."


	24. Chapter 24

_Hello there!_

 _Sorry for the delay, I've been suffering a bit of a block. I hope you like this new chapter, I wrote it with all my excitement._

 _I might sound repetitive, but thank you so much for your comments and favorites, and followings. I'm so happy you like my story._

 _I'm already waiting for your opinions._

* * *

 _Disney world._

He had been a fool. And because of that, his mother -Lucia Barba- was now grabbing his hand with a look of betrayal and disbelief, making him squirm like the little boy he would always be to her.

"Rafael Barba!" She yelled not caring if she made a scene. "When did this happen?" She asked him. Her voice was enough to him to know what was she asking about. He didn't need her to point at the white gold band on his right ring finger. The ring he had forgotten to take off before he went to pick her up to go to her aunt's seventieth birthday party. The tears in her eyes were on the verge, and his nervousness grew as every second passed. "How could you? Am I such a bad mother for you to do me something like this?" She continued her rambling.

He knew it shouldn't have happened like this. He knew his mother's temper. And he also knew how the words abandoned him when he was under his mother's scowl, and he knew it was his fault.

The original plan had been to use Noah as a shield during tomorrow's dinner. And he had been prepared to use Olivia too if he needed. But the karma worked in mysterious ways, and now he found himself alone -because Olivia was away on a case they caught a few hours ago- under his mother disapproving eyes, and he could not even rely on Noah's cuteness, thanks to his cousin amazing idea to settle a playground for the kids.

She could have asked him in private. But no, she had yell at him, and now everyone was looking at the two of them. And despite what his family thought of him, he didn't handle situations like this one as well as he let them believe.

He stood silently, taking a deep breath and asking himself why he always ended in the middle of surrealist situations and thinking how he was going to explain to his mother that during the vacations he took with Noah and Olivia at Disney World -the ones they had come back two days ago- they had eloped and gotten married, without losing his balls.

"Mami… it's not what it seems." He said making her mother look at him like he was crazy and his family looked at him like he had grown a second head.

"Well then, I'm all ears." She said to him as she sat on a near chair, making him see she had all the time in the world. "Don't even try to escape from this."

...

 _After the never-ending and frightening days when Mike had fought for his life and after seeing how it had affected Olivia when the young Sergeant had barely escaped the doors of death. And after seeing how she whipped herself in guilt because she had been the one who had given him the last push to stay at SVU and the one who had left him alone with Munson, the idea had popped in his mind._

 _It was time for some vacation, and after seeing Noah's eyes shine like little light bulbs when they saw a Disney World commercial, the idea in his mind grew, bigger and bigger, surprising everybody in the house when he had said it out loud._

 _The fear that he wouldn't be able to enjoy it had been there all the time. After all, his previous scarce vacations had always been a little more grown up. But after two of the seven days at the park, he was having the time of his life, not that he was going to acknowledge it. He had never been there, and he loved to share the experience with Noah and Olivia, so much he didn't care the photos and puns, Olivia threw at him._

 _They had wanted to enjoy the sunny day, and today -the third day of their vacation- they were having a picnic lunch with sandwiches and fruit. Rafael and Olivia had been talking with their usual playful banter when Noah had reached for Rafael._

 _"_ _Mira Papi, (Look, papi)" The boy said as he signaled a young couple standing a few meters from them. "Is that what you talked me about?" The question per se didn't have any particular meaning for Olivia. It could easily be one of the multiple things her boys labeled as boy things. It could easily be one of the millions of questions Noah asked during the day. But this time it would be recorded in her memory. She saw how the man kneeled in front of the girl and removed something from the pocket of his pants, and then the girl screamed yes and threw herself at his now fiancé's arms._

 _"Rafi." She said breathlessly, as she looked at him._

 _Noah, proud of himself, looked at his surprised father and remembered how it was supposed to be their secret, their special and top secret one._

 _"_ _Papi." He was scared. He didn't want him to be mad at him. "Sorry!" He started to cry. "Papi, lo siento."_

 _"_ _Noah." The little boy's cries brought him back, and quickly he grabbed his son and hugged him. "Shhh ya esta… todo esta bien, no pasa nada (Shhh it's ok… it's ok, nothing is going to happen)" He tried to calm the little boy kissing his forehead, not wanting to look at Olivia yet._

 _"_ _Rafi," Olivia called him again, making him look at her. Her eyes looked cautious but with a spark of thrill that made him blush a little too much for his comfort._

 _"I wanted you to have more romance but..." His words sounded way calmer than he was. He relocated Noah on his lap and grabbed something from the pocket of his jeans. "I wanted you to have the best one, and I had started to have crazy ideas. But now I think it couldn't be better, with the three of us." He gave the black box to Noah and murmured something to the boy, while Olivia stood in front of them speechless. "I'm not going to make a big speech, despite how fond I'm of them. I just want you to know que te amo. I have never loved anyone like I love you, and I don't plan to stop loving you. And I know we have only been together officially for eleven months, and that it might be a bit too soon. But, this is it for me. I know it's you. And after Mike, I asked myself why we had to wait more time when I knew it. So..." Olivia had been looking at him without a single blink, and she saw how he gave Noah a signal and how the boy came to her and put the black box in her waiting hands. "Would you do me the honor to marry me and spend the rest of our lives together?"_

 _Olivia knew before Rafa's speech what he was going to ask, she wasn't stupid. And, while she listened to Rafael's beautiful words, she had tried to prepare herself. But any amount of preparation would be enough. She stood there, crying, and thinking how not so long ago she had lost the hope of finding a man like him, a man with whom she could have a relationship like they had._

 _"Don't you like it, mommy?" Noah asked her. "I helped papi to choose it." Apparently, she was taking too much time, but she was overwhelmed by her feelings._

 _"I love it. It's gorgeous." Olivia said looking at Noah. The boy went to her arms, and she kissed his forehead as her eyes went to her man. He was bitting his lip trying not to squirm under her eyes. "Of course I'll marry you Rafi." Her smile couldn't be bigger. "I love you too."_

 _"Thank God!" He exclaimed before he kissed her. He might have been a bit more aggressive than their usual, in front of Noah, but it was a special moment after all._

 _"Yes!" Noah was happy too._

 _Once their bellies were full, and after a few more kisses and laughs, they restarted their way through the park, today it was the Animal kingdom. They had been walking, with Noah between them and holding hands when Olivia suddenly stopped._

 _"_ _Mommy?" Noah asked._

 _"_ _We…" She didn't say much more, still too engrossed in her thoughts._

 _"_ _Liv?" It was Rafael's turn to call her. But she only looked at him smiling with mischief._

 _"_ _We could do it here."_

 _"_ _What?" Rafael asked not sharing her train of thought._

 _"_ _The wedding." She explained. "Why wait any more time. Just the three of us."_

 _"_ _What about the honeymoon?"_

 _"_ _We would already be in the familiar one, and then we could choose a few days to have our little getaway. I don't need anything too bizarre. Just my boy and my man. It's enough." She was really excited about the idea. And if she had to go by Rafael's looks, he was getting into it too._

 _"_ _My mother is going to kill us both. And probably Finn too, he has you as his little sister. Well, the odds are that they would go after me."_

 _"_ _We could have a little party with all of them at home."_

 _"_ _Noah, ¿tu que piensas? (Noah, what do you think?)" Rafael asked the boy as he lifted him. "¿Nos fugamos para que mami y papi se casen? (Should we run away so that mommy and daddy get married?)"_

 _"_ _Yes!" The boy screamed happily, but Rafael didn't know for sure how much of the question he had understood. But it was Liv's look that sold him away._

 _"_ _Ok. Let's do it." He said as he grabbed her putting his free hand on her lower back, and kissed her. "Just promise me you are going to be with me when we tell my mother. I mean a little in front of me." His playful words made her laugh._

 _"_ _As you desire my love." She said to him before kissing his lips again._

 _"_ _Mommy!" Noah was starting to be a little bored of their kisses. "No more kisses, it's not fun."_

 _"_ _No fun?" Olivia asked crossing glances with Rafael, smiling before the two adults started to kiss Noah's cheeks non stop, making him laugh._

 _"_ _Let's spend the rest of the day here, and tonight we'll look where we should go tomorrow for the wedding," Rafael said as he put Noah on the ground again to resume their way._

 _..._

"I'm waiting." Rafael hadn't noticed that he had dozed out, remembering one of the happiest moments of his life.

"Liv and I…" He didn't know how to do it. His whole family was looking at him, and he knew his mother was about to scold him again.

"Liv and you, what?" She would always be capable of making him fidget like a boy.

"We got married at Disney world." He said quickly despite knowing that it wouldn't bring him any help. Were was Liv when he needed her. He had barely said the words when her mother's hand made contact with the back of his neck slapping him with all the strength she had.

"I thought I raised you better." She was mad.

"We want to have a little party for the family."

"Ok." She said surprising Rafael. He hadn't thought it would be so easy to stop his mother's scolding. "I'll be part of the whole thing. And you can't say no to me. Understood?"

"Understood." He had survived without any serious injury, and he wasn't planning to argue with her.

"I was losing my hope, all this time and you hadn't asked her yet."

"Mami!"

"It's the truth." She said smiling, and loving how her son was squirming under her gaze. She would have loved to be a part of the wedding planning, and she was mad at her son, for not letting her see him getting married. But after all her prayers, her son had a family now, and she knew she was going to have enough fun messing with her son while they planned their party.

"Go, your son is calling at you."

"Ok. I love you mami." He kissed her cheek before going to Noah and grabbing his phone hoping that Olivia could spare him a few minutes.


	25. Chapter 25

_Hello there!_

 _Here's the next one, I'm working on the party and honeymoon chapters, but in the meantime this came to my mind. I hope you like it._

 _As always, because I'm amazed by your comments and support, thank you all so much!_

 _I'm already waiting for your comments._

* * *

 _Ice cream._

Waking up alone in the middle of the night, when you have a toddler, it's not unusual but that doesn't mean, to your selfish alter ego, it's a welcomed issue.

The first thing he had felt, once he had woken up, was the absence of his wife's glued body to his, and when he had looked at his phone and saw it was three in the morning, he had supposed she was in Noah's room. Not having anything better to do, he went to his son's room, only to find through the half-closed door, the softly illuminated room by the turtle nightlight he had brought him a few weeks ago, the boy sound sleeping.

And instead, to overthink or start to make surreal scenarios in his mind, he decided to look around their home. It didn't take him much time to find her. She was sitting on the kitchen countertop with only the natural light of the full moon. Letting him see what she had chosen as a pajama tonight, and it was one of his dress shirts.

"I was looking for you," Rafael said making her jump on her seat.

"Rafa!" She tried to use her scream tone at him using a low voice, not wanting to wake up Noah. "Bell. One of this days I'll buy you a bell." Olivia mumbled with the spoon in her mouth and the ice cream in the other hand. Trying not to look at Rafael's smug smile, he loved catching her in moments like this.

"Everything alright?" He asked as he approached her.

"Mmmm..." She nodded. "Noah woke up and then I wasn't sleepy."

"Ohh..." His hands went to her naked tights as he rested between her legs, his smile not leaving her eyes as he kept looking at her eat her beloved, and overpriced cookies and cream ice cream. The one that deep down she didn't like to share. "And you opted to eat the ice cream you didn't let Noah eat." Rafael squeezed here tights making her giggle.

"You are the one who let him eat so many cookies, do not make me the bad one."

"Liv... he was..." He tried.

"Are you really trying to use the same argument you tried to use during dinner?" She asked, catching him in the act.

"Ok. You win."

"I know." She said proudly. Rafael thought the tone she used was for her words, but what he didn't know was that it was because she had been capable to maintain the conversation without squirming under his touch once his hands had started to go up and down on her tights. It might have only been two minutes tops but to her, it every second was a win.

"At least, are you going to share?" He asked seeing how she bitted her lower lip.

"Nope." She said plainly, not taking any second to think her answer as she played with the spoon.

"Oh, ok." He said as he attempted to leave his place. "I'll go to bed then."

"No, no, no..." Olivia quickly tried to stop him, catching him by the hips with her legs. "Wait." It might have sounded like an order, but Rafael wasn't going to question it. He went willingly and put his hands on her sides, close enough to let her feel their heat but without touching her skin. "Here." Her smooth voice murmured as she approached him the spoon to feet him. He went to meet her in the middle with his open mouth, but at the last moment, she retired the spoon making him pout.

"Liv..." He whined making her giggle again, knowing she was plotting something in that pretty head of hers.

"Ok. Sorry." She lied flatly to his face. He foolishly decided to believe her words and to trust her when she brought the spoon close to his mouth again. And when he was almost tasting the ice cream, he saw a twinkle of mischief cross her brown eyes, and before he knew it, by some kind of imaginary human error, the ice cream had ended on his naked chest. "Oh my God!" She said between giggles, trying to keep her voice down, but not trying to hide her amusement. "I'm so sorry!"

"Of course you are." He was smiling too, despite being the one on the receiving end of her pranks. He didn't know if his smile was from amusement or exasperation when she didn't let him move to reach for a rag to clean himself, as her legs kept a tight grip on his hips.

"It's melting," Olivia stated the obvious while Rafael felt drops of ice cream dripping on his chest. "Don't worry. I clean it." Olivia offered, and Rafael couldn't do much more than try to stifle his moan once her mouth made contact with his skin, and started to leave open-mouthed kisses and licks, enjoying her task and doing more than a thorough job.

"See." She said after a minute or two, Rafael didn't know. "All clean." She was proud of herself seeing how she had left him on the edge and enjoying being the one who had left him like this. "Do you want more?" She asked with the spoon between her lips, and her eyes full of desire. And he had to take a deep breath before he could say something coherent.

"No." He said as his face said the opposite, and he tried to reach the tub of ice cream.

"It's mine," Olivia said not letting him have it.

"We shouldn't do this," Rafael said without strength or real intent. With only a few inches between their faces.

Since their wedding at Disney world, a two weeks ago, their sex life had gotten quite heated. He would never complain about it, but he was having a bit of a hard time to keep up with her, and Noah, and his job. And seeing her like this, so cheerful, and carefree, and sexy, and aroused, and a lot of more adjectives, enjoying something she had a hard time to associate with good feelings (after Lewis and Harris at Sealview), he would love to follow her lead, even when he knew she wouldn't be happy with just a quick round. He was using all of his strength and sense of adulthood to stop her, but she wasn't giving up, and Rafael knew she could end him with just a look, or a few words.

"You sure?" Her pout could conquer the world if she wanted. She hadn't listened to his previous words. She knew what she wanted, and she would have it, they both knew it. And before he could say anything to her another spoon of ice cream landed on his skin, this time on his collarbone. And as quickly she got him dirty, she used the same treatment to clean him. Being as thorough as she had been before, bitting him when she found the pulse on his neck and making him groan as he gave her more space, and his hands went to her but squeezing her to his body. It was in that precise moment when he threw his sense through the window, not caring if he didn't get any more sleep tonight, or if tomorrow morning he had an early meeting with Rita where she would know.

"Bed. Now." It wasn't a question, it was a statement of what was going to happen, as he held her between his arms, and her's went to his neck, holding herself in place.

"Wait." She said between her administrations to his skin. "The ice cream." Rafael groaned as he went back on his steps, and brought her close enough to let her grab the tub before he set course to their bedroom once again.

...

Rafael was panting, nuzzling her neck. He had used half of his strength to move enough to not crush her under his weight, but he still was laying pretty much on top of her, with one arm and one leg crossing her body. Olivia was panting too, drawing abstract patterns on his heated skin, while the ice cream stood forgotten in the nightstand.

"That was a madness." He said kissing her neck, not making any move to change his position.

"Mmmm..." Her hand had moved to his hair, disheveling it more if it was possible. "Quite a performance," Olivia said, and Rafael's chest couldn't be bigger. "Lucky for us, Noah can sleep through a storm when he's really tired." It was true because this time, they hadn't been that quiet.

"How did you came with the ice cream thing?" Rafael asked her with curiosity. Since the start of their relationship, they had tried different things, but until now the food play hadn't been on their list. His hand had been touching her neck when he had voiced his question, and when Olivia didn't answer him right away, his motions stopped right away as he moved enough to see her reddening face. "Liv?" Now she had gathered his curiosity.

"I might have stumbled with a few high rated and meticulously described scenes in the book I read a few weeks ago." She admitted.

"I knew it wasn't just a mystery novel with that title." He said laughing, remembering how she had blushed when he had commented the title of the book one night. She had rejected his idea too quickly for his opinion to believe her fully. She was laughing to despite her embarrassment. "Why didn't you tell me about it?" Normally they had been pretty open in what they wanted or liked and what not.

"I don't know." She said looking at his eyes. They were now at the same level as Rafael had moved on the bed and they were both resting on their pillows with their limbs entwined. "When I read it, I thought it was something it could be fun, but then I forgot about it. And tonight, I don't know. It just came to my mind."

"Ok." He said entwining their fingers and bringing their joined hands to his chest. "It was fun. But the next time, can we do it at a more reasonable hour?"

"I wouldn't mind," Olivia said smiling as she went to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Good." He murmured, each time having more trouble to have his eyes open. "Just so you know it, I'm going to fall asleep." Olivia could see how tired he was, at least she didn't have to be at the precinct until twelve. She could easily take a nap once she was alone.

"Good night my love." She murmured to his lips, hearing his deep breaths.


	26. Chapter 26

_Hello there!_

 _I'm so happy you liked the last chapter so much. I know you've asked about the party and the honeymoon, I'm working on it, but I still don't have the picture of the party, so I can ashure there's going to be a full chapter about it. In the meantime this popped in my head. I hope you'll like it._

 _As always thank you so much for your support. And I'm already waiting for your comments._

* * *

 _Grumpiness_

Rafael grunted as he laid on the couch with his head on Olivia's lap, and she glanced away from her book for a few seconds to look what time it was on her phone.

"How many stories tonight?" She asked when she saw he had been in Noah's room for almost forty-five minutes.

"Two." He said looking at her like he was innocent, it only took her raising her eyebrows to have him confess. "Two times each, but it wasn't a big deal."

"Rafa!"

"I know." He said. "But it's Friday, and he's excited about tomorrow's shopping day. And those eyes!" He complained, thinking about Noah's puppy eyes.

"I know. I can see right now from whom Noah learned it." Olivia said making them both smile.

"Am I not supposed to teach him important things?" He asked playfully, making her roll her eyes at his cockiness. "Anyway, how was your day?"

"Exhausting." Olivia murmured as her hand went to Rafael's hair and started caressing it, making him groan. "Mostly meetings and paperwork." She said before they were interrupted by Rafael's chirping phone, making him remove the hand he had been covering his face with.

It was when she started to read again that she saw him by the corner of her eyes, grunting again as he wrote a message not caring if the broke the screen of his phone.

"My mother." He said before she could ask. "Reminding me again about one of the millions of things she has to make sure we checked for the party." He said. Their wedding party was due in a week, and surprisingly they had all done, the only things left to was to buy some clothes. "It enervates me."

"I'm sorry. If you want I can say something to her." She offered, her hand never leaving his greying hair.

"And I love you for that." He said patting her knee. "It won't change anything. All you said to her during our first lunch with her after our wedding did nothing." Rafael said as he put the phone on the coffee table. "She can't understand why a woman wouldn't want a day when she's the princess, so her minds put me as the bad one." He murmured caressing her calf muscle.

"Rafi," Olivia said feeling bad for him.

"It's ok." He said looking at her with a smile. "She's mad because she didn't have the opportunity to show us off to my family."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, in my family weddings are serious affairs."

"And on top of that, we decide to have an intimate party as a celebration with just the people closest to us."

"You could say it like this," Rafael said. "The other day she told me I had lured you to the dark side." He said chucking and making her laugh too.

"She's not the only one who thinks this." Olivia murmured.

"What?" Rafael asked surprised. "Wait, that's why Fin has been giving me dirty looks for the last month?"

"What?" It was Olivia's turn to be surprised. Her prior remark had been to allude to herself, Rafael had been the one who had challenged like no one. But now she was shocked when her team had seen the ring they had been happy for her, just a bit annoyed about losing a party opportunity. "He didn't say anything, he was happy for us, the rest of the team too."

"I'll have to talk to him then," Rafael said pensive not noticing how Olivia's mouth remained open after a silent oh!

"No, you don't." She said cryptically.

"Why?" Rafael asked. "We see each other at work and outside. What do you want me to do?" He asked looking at her face, she was biting her lip, and she evaded eye contact. "What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"And I'm supposed to believe that."

"Yes." She said smiling.

"What did you do?" He asked her again, pinching her calf muscle, and making her jump.

"Ok!" She said taking a deep breath. "I forgot about it, but I might have told him about your vacations with Rita at Florida. He told me they were thinking about going there with the kids..."

"And?" He asked wanting to know the end of her answer, but then a memory of his past came. "You didn't... Tell me you didn't tell him that." Rafael said hiding his face in his hands. "Olivia!" He exclaimed knowing her answer when she said nothing and saw her between his fingers trying to stop her laughter. "I told you that under the oath of secrecy."

"I'm sorry." She offered smirking.

"You might be sorry for telling him, but you are not sorry for my suffering." He said making her laugh more. "It was eons ago. We were really drunk and stupid. Even when I only have a few images of that night, I was so drunk I didn't look at her. She could have been dancing naked in front of me that I wouldn't have looked. I don't know if she did that, but I didn't care at that time."

"I know," Olivia said, still smirking.

"But he doesn't."

"I don't think so."

"What did you tell him!?" Rafael groaned again.

"I might have given him the idea that Rita knew good places to go skinny dipping after you two went to Florida."

"Gods!" He groaned grabbing his phone. "And how did you two ended talking about this?"

"I don't know. It just came up," Olivia said. "What are you doing?" She asked amused by his reaction.

"Fixing your mess." He said as he quickly tipped on his phone.

"How?"

"I'm texting Rita." He explained. "I want all this fixed as soon as it can be."

"You coward," Olivia said laughing at him.

"There's no way he would believe me. If it was me, I know I wouldn't, even when we didn't know each other yet."

"So, you'll make her bribe him with sex."

"There is no need to be so literal." He said smirking and looking at her with mischief in his eyes from his spot on her lap. "She knows how to handle him. Just like you do with me." As much as she could hate his cockiness and the easiness he had to put her at the edge so quickly, she always ended with a smile on her face. If that smile was from exasperation or amusement or both was another question.

"Is that a demand?" She asked as her hands moved to touch his chest under his t-shirt.

"Well, you put me in this mess, and I'm resolving it. Don't you think I deserve a reward?" Rafael asked smirking.

"What kind of reward?" Olivia asked, both of them surely aroused.

"Come here," Rafael said grabbing her clothes to make her come closer to him, and plan a kiss on her lips.

"That kind." He murmured on her lips when a voice came from the hallway.

"Papi!" Noah came running to them and jumped on Rafael's chest.

"Noah!" He said still surprised. "You should be sleeping."

"But I can't sleep." The boy said.

"But if you don't tomorrow won't come." He said solemnly hearing how Olivia laughed at their antics.

"But I dreamed that we wore paw patrol suspenders," Noah said. When they had told him about the party, Noah had been serious in wanting a pair of suspenders to go to the party well-dressed like Rafael.

"What about a stripped ones?" Rafael asked as he sat on the couch with Noah on his lap. Olivia had to bite her lips to stop another laugh when she pictured Rafa with paw patrol suspenders.

"Strips are cool," Olivia said wanting to give Rafael a hand.

"Ok," Noah said after giving the idea a long thought.

"But now we sleep."

"But I'm not sleepy," Noah said, and Rafael signed knowing how difficult it could be to make the boy sleep when he was so excited.

"But I'm sleepy." He said, not minding going to bed earlier than their usual. "And mommy is sleepy too." He was already up, holding Noah on one hip when he landed a stretched a hand to Olivia. "Let's go to bed. We'll pile together tonight."

Sometimes Olivia had been afraid she would never find a man to share all this, who wouldn't not only not get mad because of their alone adult time suddenly disappeared because of her boy or her work and who instead would smile and say funny things and who would coach her and cheer her up despite neither of them would want her to leave. And looking at Rafael still making silly remarks to Noah while he guided them all to their room, not being mad for even a second because their possible sex night had become an overbooked bed with the three of them, she couldn't be happier and more fortunate.

"Rafa?" Olivia called him.

"Yeah?"

"Rain check?" She asked him bitting her lip.

"Always." He said as he went to put Noah in the middle of their bed. "Always." He murmured again as he went to plant a quick kiss on her lips.


	27. Chapter 27

_Hello there!_

 _Here is the next one. I had quite a trouble to write this words but now it's done. I hope you'll like it and voice your opinions on your comments._

 _I wanted to thank Lyssa813 and egarcia513 for her support and her ideas, they had been really helpful._

 _The last part of the chapter I wrote it hearing the song from Christina Perri- A thousand years._

* * *

 _Storage room._

"We shouldn't be doing this." Olivia moaned against Rafael's lips.

"It's our party." He murmured against her lips.

"That's why," Olivia said, moaning feeling Rafael's hands on her but, squeezing it. She was trying to be the voice of reason, but Rafael was driving her crazy with his mouth and his hands after he had lured her into an unused storage room he had found earlier in the day.

"Everyone it's having a good time." Rafael murmured between kisses on her skin, trying not to leave a mark while he made her gasp with the vibration of his mouth against her skin. "We have fulfilled all my mother's requests, and I saw her talking too friendly with Munch which gives me an image I don't want to have. Our friends are having a good time, and Noah is playing with all the kids." Rafael rambled. "They won't notice our little escape." He said sucking her neck for a second, and Olivia almost lost herself in the pleasure. With his attention, Olivia didn't need much more reasons to let him keep his way, but she had the feeling that something was going to happen.

The day couldn't have been better, surrounded by family blood-related or chosen ones, even Munch and Cragen had come. Rafael had found the place where they were having the party. It was a small company that had barely started and had set them in a well-sized room with big windows that let them see a beautiful big garden. All decorated with soft blue and wood.

And after having the chocolate wedding cake Noah and Rafael had insisted on, sneakily and slowly Rafael had lured her to the room they were now hiding while making out like horny teenagers.

"Rafa," Olivia whispered breathlessly. "Someone it's going to come looking for us," Olivia let Rafael push her against the wall as he kept kissing the skin of her neck, and her hands grabbed his hair to keep him in place. "I heard your mother say something about a dance!"

"Ok," Rafael said brushing his nose against Olivia's, letting her see his blow, wide pupils. "We'll be fast then." He said making them both chuckle.

"Rafa," Sometimes saying his name was the word she used to make him stop, but this time she was already too far gone for that. And the hand she had resting on his chest wasn't making any force to push him away. He hadn't been the only one aroused since they had seen each other with their party clothes. But it all had escalated to disproportionate measures when she heard Rafael's sinful moan on her hear. At some point, he had sneaked his hands below her dress wanting to touch her skin, and he had found the braces of the lace corset with garter belt she was wearing on her tights. "Did I told you I went to Victoria's secret when I left you alone the other day?" Olivia asked nuzzling her nose along Rafael's bearded chin, feeling the scratch of his stubble, and Rafael only managed to shake his head while looking at her eyes, and his hands didn't stop touching said braces.

"What color?" Rafael asked.

"That's a surprise," Olivia said. And she knew that if she said it out loud, there was no way they would leave the room without taking their clothes first.

"Liv," Rafael said breathlessly. "You've been driving me crazy since a saw you with that dress."

"Should I say I'm sorry?" She said smirking.

"Yes, very much."

"Well, then, let me make it up to you," Olivia said rolling her hips against Rafael's, but before neither of them could say something or do something more someone opened the door. And then Rita's laugh echoed through the room, accompanied by Fin's. And then the noise of them clashing with the wall gave them the information they needed.

"Guys?" Rafael asked once there was an appropriate distance between himself and Olivia, and knowing it wouldn't be enough to disguise what they were doing a few seconds ago.

"Gods," Rita said after spotting them and hiding on Fin's neck, and Olivia started to laugh at the surreality of the situation.

"Yes..." Rafael murmured not quite knowing what to say.

"Let's go back and not mention any of it never again." Finn offered already moving to leave the room, while the others followed him.

"I told you someone would come," Olivia said to an ashamed Rafael. Finding with Rita the fun in the situation, while the two men tried to run.

"Really?" Rafael asked, without looking at her, and making her laugh.

"Come on Olivia, let's go the lady's room," Rita said, entwining her arm with Olivia's and leaving the two men stunned by their actions.

...

After knowing she was the one Finn had been dating, they had formed a truce, tempting at the beginning, but one that slowly had transformed into a friendship that slowly had developed into one of the best friendships Olivia had found in her life. They had crashed a bit in the beginning, more than once taking Rita's dry humor too seriously or turning each other's point of view into matches that ended in hurtful sentences. But in the end, she had found someone who could trust with almost everything, and with whom could berate Rafael if he made her too angry.

And having her with her today, celebrating her happiness while making a little bit of fun of their boys was quite funny. And they did it, while they were in the bathroom repairing their hair and clothes and while they go back to the party-room until Olivia spotted Rafael.

He was kneeling on one knee holding a baby in his arms, talking with an amazed Noah a few feet away from her, leaving her frozen on the spot. While her skin tickled, with an emotion she couldn't name as she saw the smile on Rafael's face and the way his face lighted up while talking with Noah.

"Those hormones must be over the roof," Rita said smirking seeing how Olivia jumped with surprise.

"Rita!"

"What?" Rita laughed. "I've been standing beside you the whole time. It's not my problem if you can control yourself if you look at Rafael." She said making Olivia blush. "I must admit the picture it's quite endearing."

"Yeah..." Olivia murmured still looking at her boys.

"When can I expect the next one?" Lucia's voice appeared from nowhere making Olivia jump again.

"That's not good for my heard." Olivia murmured trying to keep her blush at bay.

"I believed that with your work you would be accustomed to surprises," Rita said.

"Haha, how funny," Olivia said trying not to laugh.

"You haven't answered my question," Lucia said, looking too at her son and grandson, and the baby.

"I suppose it's Maria's and Javier's daughter," Olivia said. Despite keeping the guest list short, Rafael's cousins had come, and they had met their newborn.

"Yes."

"She's beautiful," Olivia said.

"Yes, she is. But..." Lucia said making Rita laugh. The woman could be quite persuasive when she wanted.

"What about Rita?" Olivia said. She and Rafael had talked about having more kids, but it had been a vague conversation she wasn't prepared to share with his mother when they still didn't have anything sure.

"No, no, no..." She said trying to pass the buck. "Don't look at me. I've already had two boys I hadn't planned even in my wildest dreams, and I'm not the one who is drooling looking at her husband holding a newborn baby." Rita said with a smirk on her face, and Olivia laughed despite how bashful she was feeling.

"Good try," Lucia said. But today was Olivia's lucky day because before she could say anything more, someone called her. "Don't believe I'm going to forget about this." She said before leaving the other two women with a smirk on her face.

"She always leaves me with conflicted feelings," Olivia said.

"Don't I know, I still have nightmares from the first time I meet her," Rita said making them both laugh. "Anyway, I'm going to get a drink and maybe have Finn dance with me." She said before leaving Olivia.

...

After a bit of wandering and short conversations with the guests, she spotted Rafael. He was alone nursing a glass of scotch.

"Hey, stranger," Olivia said kissing his cheek.

"Hey." He said grabbing her hand. "Where have you been?"

"Trapped by your mother and Rita."

"Do I want to know?" He asked smirking.

"I don't think so." She said, smirking too. "Where's Noah?"

"Carisi." He said. "He's the one entertaining all the kids. "Do you want to dance?"

"Yes."

"Who is singing?" She asked as they mingled with the other couples dancing, starting to sway.

"I don't know," Rafael said as his hands hugged Olivia closer to him, and Olivia's hands went to the back of his neck. "But is nice."

"Yes." They didn't exchange much more words for a while, both of them enjoying the song, and being close to each other. Until Rafael put a long kiss on the forehead. "Rafa?" She said looking at him. "Honey. Are you crying?" She said worriedly when she saw his eyes red, and the first tears leaving his eyes. He didn't say anything. He only silenced a sob before kissing her chastely on the lips. "Rafa?"

"Te amo (I love you), do you know that."

"I love you too," Olivia said smiling, caressing one of his cheeks.

"Eres mi mundo (You are my world). You and Noah, but you, you, I don't know what would do without you."

"Rafa." She said with her own tears rolling down her cheeks. "You are going to ruin my makeup."

"Sorry," He said smiling stealing a kiss as he caught the tears with his hand. "Sorry, it just the day it's catching me up."

"You are my world too," Olivia said before kissing him on the lips. "I didn't know I could feel so much and so deep for someone. But we have to something with your mother. She was already asking me for more grandkids." Olivia said smiling wanting to enlighten the mood and make Rafael chuckle. Not that she didn't love moments like this with him, where they shared their deepest secrets and fears, but despite her tears were because how overjoyed and happy she was feeling, she didn't want them to cover her happiness, at least for a while.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to lend you a hand on that, I'm more afraid of her than you," Rafael said as they kept moving with the song.

"Maybe together?" She asked.

"When she has Noah on her lap." He offered.

"That's an amazing idea, my love," Olivia said as she looked at his beautiful green eyes, not believing her luck before she kissed those lips of his that put her on so much trouble sometimes.


	28. Chapter 28

_Hello!_

 _Here's the next one, sooner than I thought. It's just a short silly one I hope you'll like._

 _Thank you all for your comments._

* * *

 _Thief._

"I thought night surveillances would be out of the picture with the rank," Rafael commented from the threshold of their bedroom looking how Olivia changed into comfier clothes to spend the night in the car.

It had been two weeks since their delayed wedding party, and it had been a blast. It had been a friendly get together, were Rafael's blood-related family and their squad had blended like they had known each other for years making jokes, having a good time and teaming to tease her and Rafael, making them do silly things like kissing each other at their request. Being one of the best moments of the day when she caught Rita scolding Rafael about Fin's knowledge about their trip to Florida, and how Fin had kept an eye on them every time they were together.

She couldn't have wished for a better way to celebrate their marriage. And now in a few days, she and Rafael would leave to their honeymoon. She still didn't know where Rafael was taking her, and she didn't know if the knots in her stomach were from anticipation and excitement only, or there was also fear and a little reticence in the mix.

"I didn't plan on it." She said looking at the contents of their wardrobe. "It sort of fall on my lap." Neither of them was happy about it, and on top of it she would barely see Noah today, and she wasn't sure about tomorrow.

"How so?"

"Jesse." She said like it explained all. "She has been with otitis for the last couple of days. And Amanda and Carisi had been working the same number of days dead on their feet. I feared they would fall asleep as soon as they stopped the car. And Mike is still on medical leave."

"It's a reasonable concern." He admitted. "But I still don't like it."

"Me neither," Olivia said as she sat on the bed to put on her sneakers. She was old enough to not care much about her looks anymore in a night like the one she was about to have. "Look at the bright side. You can bunk with Noah." The corners of her mouth were slightly up despite her attempts to hide her witty smile.

"I don't know, he says he's a big boy now, and that he can sleep alone." His tone was light, but Olivia knew how much those words affected him. Their boy was growing up too fast, they wanted it or not.

"Just wait until he's sleepy. There's no way he'll say no then, my love." She said trying not to laugh at her husband's antics.

"You are not that funny."

"You know I am." She said kissing his lips lightly before she went to their bathroom. "Fin's picking me up in half an hour." She informed him as she brushed her teeth and washed her face. "I don't know why, but I kind of have a sense of déjà vu, it feels a bit like the old days when I was a young and tireless detective."

"I bet you were a menace," Rafael said smiling, and her eyebrows went to her hairline.

"Am I not anymore?" Despite her serious tone, her eyes were sparkling mischief.

"No... I meant..." He stuttered making her laugh.

"You know, for someone who works his life with words you can be quite clumsy." She was standing again in front of him, only a few inches between them, enjoying being the reason behind his blush.

"Now you are messing with me." He said not annoyed by her invasion of his personal space.

"I know."

"That's mean."

"I see you're using big words." He was smiling despite her words.

"You are lucky I love you." He said with playfulness. "Because I not only let you mess with me, I also let you wear my clothes you, thief."

"I do not know what are you talking about." She tried to back up, but he grabbed her by the green wool and comfortable sweater.

"Yes, you now." He pushed her against him. "That green thing you are wearing, señorita (missy), it's mine." He might have gone hard on the accent, and despite knowing they couldn't start anything, he loved seeing how a single word in Spanish made her pupils dilate and how she went breathless. "We might have the same height, but I have broader shoulders, and if I don't see wrong it's a bit lose on yours." She didn't say anything, she only stood there with her mouth, and eyes open. "You want to know the funny thing." He said before chuckling. "I don't care if you wear my clothes, I kind of like it, well I love it. But the way my clothes find their way to your side of the wardrobe it's impressive. We might need to put cameras to see how it happens, who knows we might have a spirit in the house."

"Rafa." It was his time to mess with her.

"It took me two weeks to spot my favorite sweatshirt the last time I wanted to wear it Liv. I had started to think I lost it at the park or some other place." He said laughing while she caressed her neck after she had hidden her face on his neck. "As I said you are lucky I love you, you know I can be kind of picky with my clothes."

"Don't I know." She mumbled from his neck. "You still have not forgiven me for the tie."

"It was an unfortunate accident."

"Keep saying that, I know you." She said as he kissed her hair and she felt his guffaws on her chest.

"Good to know how much you believe me." She kissed her again. "If I'm not wrong we still have twenty minutes till Fin's here. Let's go have some family time."

"And if we are lucky we'll catch some old chapters of the Looney Toons," Olivia said looking at his eyes.

"That's the spirit." Rafael grabbed her hand to push her towards the living room.

...

They could see Noah sitting on the couch when Rafael stopped her.

"Eh."

"What?" She asked.

"You'll be careful, right?"

"Of course." She said. "The plan it's only to look."

"Ok. It's just... " He murmured. "I hate it."

"I know." Olivia had her hand on his cheek trying to offer some comfort.

"I'm sorry, I should have said anything. You already have enough." He said trying to calm his thoughts.

"No." Olivia kissed him. "I understand, and I'll be as careful as I can." She kissed him again. "Now let's go see those cartoons and try to forget for a while."


	29. Chapter 29

_Hello there!_

Here's the next one. I hope this chapter meets your expectations, and you like the place I choose because I worked very hard on it.

Thank you all for your comments, and support. It's amazing, and I'm really overwhelmed. I'm already waiting for your opinions.

* * *

 _Breakfast._

Olivia was sitting on Rafael's lap, with naked body soaked in beams of light coming from the open door in their room, and for the last minutes, she had been trying to catch her breath. Their sweaty naked skin flushed together.

"I'm going to feel that later." Olivia murmured on Rafael's lips after releasing them with a wet pop, as her hands stroked his chest air.

"Mmm..." He still hadn't regained full consciousness after their last round, and he only smiled at her words as he touched the hot skin of her back like it was the most precious thing in the world as he rested his back on the headboard of the hotel bed. He still could easily remember the first couple of times Olivia had said those words, and how he had gotten all worried and asked for forgiveness for hurting her. But now it's different. And every time he manages to get those words from her lips, he can easily see the self-satisfied smirk on her lips, and the way her body relaxes next to his, both of them enjoying the connection between as their hands stroke each other slowly, and they share clumsy kisses. And their eyes share the secrets of their souls.

Rafael had never been a man who romanticized sex. Once his teenage years passed, and after the hole Yelina disaster, he had fallen into a pool of casual relationships when he kept people at arm's length, not knowing what was he missing. Because after the first night with Olivia, after the first night with the woman who stole his heart, it changed everything, and he learned about making love. He learned about that intimate act where you share everything you have with that person, and he still sometimes couldn't believe his luck.

He was too old think about those idealized concepts of soulmates and predestinated bonds, but sometimes after sharing something so precious when their lovemaking was slow and careful, and even a bit sloppy, and when they had the opportunity to enjoy the afterglow, he believed in those concepts for a little while. And he liked to think, while Olivia looked at him with her brown eyes full of love and contentment, that she believed in it a little too.

It was the fourth morning of their four night five days stay of their honeymoon, and Olivia still didn't fully believe what Rafael had done for her.

After seeing they could only scrap five days, with a weekend in the middle, to have their honeymoon, and once Rafael's desolation feelings went away for a bit (after his blushing confession that he wanted to bring her to Bora Bora or another place with virgin beaches with crystalline waters and golden sand, even alluding to wait more time if they needed, and she had only been able to smile and kiss him), he had taken as his personal job to plan their trip.

It had been fun seeing him hiding his research and make lame excuses when she asked about it. But as the day of their departure came closer, and she didn't get any useful information, her fun turned into annoyance and a bit of fear, even more, when Noah was more than happy to stay with his abuela instead of going with them. But at the end, it had all been worthy of the wait. He had brought her to California, to Sonoma, where the vineyards went to the horizon surrounded by mountains.

In the three days they had been there, they had been to two guided tours in two nearby vineyards, tasting astounding wine and eating astonishing food. They had also spent a day at the inn spa, enjoying some couples treatments (massages, natural skin treatments, and relaxing together at the pools), and yesterday they had an outing with horses where she had been exceedingly surprised and aroused by Rafael's riding skills.

And last night she had decided to surprise him a little as a reward for his hard work. The dinner together had been fun, but the look he gave her when he saw what was she wearing under her dress was what got them into a sleepless night (definitely, the lacy corse was one of the best spent money in all her life). She loved being a mom and having a family, but it had been too long since they had a night when not only sex was involved, when she had been able to spend the night talking about everything.

"I don't think I can move," Olivia said once she was resting on Rafael's chest.

"Mmmm,"

"Are you here with me?" Olivia asked.

"In a minute," Rafael said making Olivia laugh, and Rafael's stomach made his presence know with a low grumble that was difficult to ignore.

"Hungry?"

"A little," Rafael said. "Since we came you've had me on a tight schedule." Rafael murmured remembering how many times Olivia had jumped on him in the past days. "Not that I'm complaining." He said before Olivia could tell anything.

"Rafa," Olivia moaned, breathlessly when she felt Rafael's lips on her neck.

"We should spend the morning in bed." He officered between kisses on her skin.

"Mmmm..." It was her turn to mumble an incoherent acceptance, while Rafael's hands caressed her back, and Olivia's hands found his hair. "Another round again?" Olivia asked surprised between mumbles, greatly surprised after all the times they had gone during the night and with only a few hours of sleep, and making Rafael laugh on her skin.

"Not yet for me. The last one was a present. " He said. "But there are other things to entertain ourselves," Rafael said making Olivia laugh, but his stomach was quite persistent in made his presence known. "But I could go with a breakfast break." He offered to make Olivia chuckle again.

Without leaving her spot on Rafael's lap, Olivia managed to grab the room's telephone resting on the nightstand and had a quick chat with the receptionist.

"It should be here in fifteen minutes." She said a bit flushed, making Rafael look at her curiously. "What?" She asked after seeing Rafael ogling her too much.

"You are blushing." He said.

"And?"

"You are blushing after a short conversation with an unknown person, should I be concerned?" He asked trying to lighten the mood.

"It's nothing," Olivia said still blushing, making Rafael poke gently at her ribs, they were one of her well-hidden ticklish spots Rafael knew. "It's nothing." She said squirming away from his lap, but Rafael followed her.

"Tell me." He said keeping his assault and making Olivia yelp as one of his hands went to her inner tight searching another of the spots. "Ok! I'll tell you." Olivia said not having any more strength.

"I'm waiting," Rafael said after waiting for not much more than a few seconds, with his hand still on Olivia's tight. He was very curious.

"She called me by your name." Olivia murmured, blushing again. "The receptionist called me Mrs. Barba." Her confession was sweet and took Rafael a little back as he hadn't thought about the last name thing.

"It has a nice ring on it."

"Mmmm..." Olivia lied next to Rafael looking at the ceiling, with a little smirk on her face.

"You liked it." He said a little surprised.

"What?" Olivia said being her turn to be surprised.

"You liked it." He said pinching her tight and making her jump with surprise as her red color on her cheeks deepened.

"What? No!" Olivia tried to sneak away from Rafael's ticklish assault.

"You aren't fooling me, Mrs. Barba," He said as he grabbed her hands to push them away, and leaning to steal a kiss on her tempting lips with a triumphant smile on his lips.

"You tell me, Mr. Benson." She murmured seeing his pupils dilate and hiding a groan as he hid on her neck. When the receptionist had called her Mrs. Benson a feeling of ownership, of possession, had crossed her body in a good way, and she could see the same reaction on Rafael's face. "You felt it too, eh?" She asked feeling his nod on her skin. And she couldn't stop her chuckle.

They stayed hugging for a few minutes, enjoying the touch of the other's body.

"Now seriously," Rafael said as his head came up and looked into Olivia's eyes. "I hadn't thought about it before. But if you want us to have the same last name, we could do it." Rafael said.

"I hadn't thought about it either. But it sounds good, having the same one." She said. "I don't want to force you to it."

"You wouldn't be doing it," Rafael said taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. "I like the feeling of having the same one all of us. But it leaves us the real problem. Which one we choose?" He asked seriously but with a hint of naughtiness in his eyes.

"It's obvious, Benson," Olivia said with her smirk full-on display while she saw appear the outrage on Rafael's face.

"Are you going to throw it up so easily?" He asked as he slowly climbed her body until he was on top of her. "Whats wrong with Barba?"

"Too long," Olivia said smirking brushing her hand against Rafael's side, making him squirm.

"If I am not wrong, your's has a letter more than mine's." He murmured trying to hide the shiver under Olivia's precise touches.

"You sure?" She asked feigning innocence.

"Not much right now." He murmured trying to steal a kiss she let him have between laughs.

"Or we could use mine. It has a more powerful sound." He said making her eyebrow up, and they both started to giggle.

"We could hyphenate." Olivia offered. She didn't want him to give away his heritage.

"That's not a bad idea."

"Benson-Barba sounds good." She said smiling as someone knocked on their door.

"What about Barba-Benson?" The grin she saw on him was boyish and full of mischief as he slapped her ass before leaving the bed to fetch their breakfast without seeing Olivia's exasperated and full of love face.


	30. Chapter 30

_Hello there!_

 _Two chapters in three days, a new record to me! I hit an inspiration vibe and this is the result, the first part of this long one-shot. I hope you'll like it._

 _I wanted to thank again to egarcia513 and Lyssa813. Thanks to their amazing ideas I have posted a few chapters, and this one is the next to the list. And thank you all for your comments and support._

 _I'm already waiting for your opinions. And I'll try to update as soon as I can._

 _Just a little heads up, there's a temporary jump of eight months more or less._

* * *

 _Adventure I_

He loved his wife. Her passion, her confidence, her strength, her witty jokes, even when more than once she used them to tease him, the love she gave to her family and job, her never-ending strength to fight for what it was right. He could go like this for hours, as the list of things he loved about her was endless. But the list of things about her that bugged him was quite long as well. Like her lack of need to properly use Noah's toy-box or when she, more frequently than she would like to admit, forgot to hang the towels after she took a shower or when she crashed with his little obsession to keep everything tidy. Being the last one her favorite to tease him.

It was true that living with a toddler made it a bit difficult to keep their home tidy, but her lack of bothering was one of the things it exasperated him most. But at the end, his lips smiled. Exasperated or not, those little things made her be who she was, and those things reminded him every day what he had gotten, a family.

But right now, one of the things she loved more about her was the one he hated most. Her passion for her work was one of the things that made her one of the best, but it was also almost the only thing that could make her not come home some nights. And tonight was one of this nights. He hated it.

It wasn't only because, for a man who had loved his independence, he had grown used to sleeping with her quite quickly. It was also because every-time he closed his eyes his mind would create terrible images of what it could go wrong. And like every night it had happened, he would toss and toss in bed, waking up after every noise, until he got tired and left the bed.

That's why after the zillion time he had woken up, not that he kept count, he was closing Noah's bedroom door after checking on the sleeping boy. Olivia's last message had been a few hours ago. She said everything was as good as it could be and that she was ok. He could try to contact her, but he didn't want to disturb her or to make her guiltier for not being with them. As he walked to the kitchen thinking that maybe a bit of scotch and some crapy tv would help him a little. But something that hadn't been in there when he had gone to bed made him stop in the middle of the open structure formed by the sitting room and kitchen.

The lamp beside the couch was on, and Olivia was sitting in there. She didn't move as he went and sat beside her. Her sight unfocused at the fireplace.

"Liv?" He called her, keeping a bit of distance between them. He knew enough of PTSD to know when a surprise touch could not be the best option. "Liv, cariño." He tried again, seeing how her body searched his. He grabbed her hands and brought them to his lips, kissing her knuckles softly. Seeing her like this, with her eyes red and puffy, crushed his heart. She went willingly to his arms, grabbing his shirt and hiding her face in the crook of his neck, he felt her tremble for a few seconds before she quieted her sobs were with his skin. "I'm so sorry, mi amor." He kept talking, using quiet tones and he kept kissing her hair. "It's ok." He didn't stop his murmurings, saying the same comfort words over and over again. She didn't move for a while, and when she did it, it was just so she could look at him. "Bad one?" He asked, and Olivia only nodded. "Ok…" Rafael murmured. "It's ok. You don't have to say anything." He said kissing her forehead. With his mind settled he coached her to their room, where he would put on her some comfy clothes and hug her until they fell asleep, and tomorrow would be another day.

"It's just…" Her words kept him still.

"Are you hurt?" They both knew the psychological damage could be a lot worse than the physical one, but the question slipped from his lips.

"No…" Olivia murmured. "It's just… you think you have seen all of it after all those years. It was a nightmare, Rafi." She said, the tears rolling once more through her cheeks.

"Liv…" He didn't know what to say, not wanting to push her. Just trying to comfort her.

"We knew he was a demon," Olivia said. For the last month, the squad had been working to catch the head of a prostitution network, catching their break a few days ago. Tonight it was the raid, where they would gather all the information they needed to charge them with federal charges. "It was a prison. The first thing I noticed was the smell. It hit me like a wave. Dirt everywhere, with mattresses stacked up in every room. The bathroom had a padlock, Rafi." She explained, leaving speechless. "Some of the girls were tied, and all of them had serious signs of abuse."

"Gods." It would always be a mystery to him how it could be people in this world capable of this like the ones Olivia was describing. "He'll pay."

"It doesn't matter anymore," Olivia said, surprising Rafael. "He's dead." She clarified. "We didn't know for sure he was there. He killed six girls when we arrived. Probably the ones who had more information. And Fin took him down when he tried to shoot us. At least we have a few of his men. I suppose they'll talk."

Rafael hatted when he didn't know what he could say to comfort her. But after seeing what she had seen, the only thing that gave him some relief was that she had let their physical contact intact. They kept the light hug between them for a while, neither of them saying anything.

"What about..." He tried to offer to go to bed, but her words stopped him.

"Do you want to know the worse of it?" She said before waking up and starting to pace. He didn't have time to open his mouth before she started again. "I was supervising the evidence chain. I didn't want anything wrong with it when I heard a noise. It came from the hallway. I went there. I found a door with another padlock." She kept pacing not letting Rafael approach her. "Sony bought the tongs, and we stepped inside. Gods..." She went quiet, making Rafael grab her shoulders, scared about what it had been in the room. He didn't ask about it, letting her gather her thoughts. "Kids. Babies. Alone in there, God's only know how long, scared." She said. "Five babies, the oldest one was four maybe."

"Cariño." He murmured.

"The little thing was trying to protect the younger ones." Olivia smiled miserably. "It's in this moments when I know our work is needed, but I'm so tired."

"It's ok mi amor." He said kissing her forehead. "I'm not trying to diminish your feelings, but you look like shit mi amor. Please, let's go to bed. Let's cuddle and tomorrow, tomorrow will be another day." He murmured. "Please."

"Ok." If he hadn't been standing so close to her, he wouldn't have heard her.

Grabbing her hands, he took her to their room, and help her change and lie in their bed before he laid down on his side. Letting her get comfortable, resting on his chest.

"One of them, maybe he was a year or a year and a half tops, raised his arms to me. I picked him up, and he grabbed me like a monkey. I don't want to know how long he waited for someone to hold him." Rafael was looking at the ceiling while he heard her words, and Olivia drew random patterns on his chest. "I had to go with the paramedics. He didn't want to release me. I felt this connection." She murmured. "I don't know... It's just..." He felt her smile on his chest. "And now I'm rambling... but... Rafi.."

"Tomorrow mi amor." He said. He was too tired to have this conversation at three in the morning. He had only been working for two weeks, after his suspension, but the welcome he had was brutal like someone had slapped him a few times as a wake-up call.

Olivia didn't say anything for a while, making Rafael's worry grew because he knew she wasn't sleeping yet.

"Tomorrow?" She asked seriously, her voice to awake to Rafael's liking. "It's going to be tomorrow? Because you are always avoiding, always saying tomorrow and tomorrow never comes." She said as she raised her body until she was sitting on their bed with her back resting on the headboard, breaking the contact between their bodies, while Rafael lied next to her stunned, not knowing what had happened.

"Liv?" He said as he also sat next to her.

"It never comes Rafael." Her voice was sad under the hard tone. And it wasn't only because of what she had witnessed a few hours ago. There was something else she had kept hidden for too long.

"I'm not saying no, I'm not saying yes. I... please, tomorrow." He tried to reconcile. It was too late for this kind of conversation. When they both were dead tired and when he still wasn't prepared. But Olivia had other plans.

"I don't believe you." She said sadly and tiredly. "We've been together for almost two years, and this conversation has come up quite a few times already. And every time, you have shot me down or changed the subject. And I'm very tired of it. And I don't understand it. You don't talk to me." Olivia wasn't looking at Rafael anymore, her eyes concentrated on her fidgeting hands, while she silently prayed that Rafael wouldn't touch her. Because if he did, she didn't know if she would be able to tell him what she wanted to without crying.

"Olivia..." He said trying to take her hands in his, but she didn't let him.

"Did you know that a few months back my period didn't come for two weeks?" She asked leaving him more stunned if it was possible. He had known there was something that had been bugging her for the past two months, but he hadn't asked. They had been so happy after the wedding, and when he had started to see these little things, he had gotten so scared that he had let it go. And he still didn't know why he had felt that way. They had always been able to talk. "Yeah," She said with a sad chuckle, trying to keep her tears at bay. "That's what happens when you forget the contraceptives more than a few times and have lots crazy sex. But after doing the maths a few times, and once the surprise went a bit down, I could start thinking again. I was so happy." Olivia tried not to struggle with the words. "For a day I thought that I could have a little mix of us growing in my belly. And I thought that if it was true, despite not being planned, it was going to be perfect." She didn't want to cry, but she was feeling the first sob coming. "But you don't always get what you want." At least Rafael wasn't saying anything or trying to touch her, giving her space and time she needed.

Olivia knew it had been wrong to keep all this inside herself for such amount of time. But after a few not welcomed tries, she had stopped. Until tonight. Maybe it wasn't the best moment, but she had opened the box, and she didn't have the strength to close it again.

"After a few tests, the doctor not only told me it was a false alarm, she also told me that even with assisted reproduction techniques the rate of success would be low." Olivia was surprised that this time she had been able to say those words with only a few tears. She hadn't dared to look at Rafael, but she had heard his gasp. "And I tried to tell you, but you didn't let me. And I know you knew something was off, but you didn't ask. And it hurt me." She knew she was hurting him by her actions, and her words, but she had to let it all out. "And I don't understand why." She said looking at him, seeing for the first time his reaction.

His eyes were red and a bit puffy, she could see tears in his eyes, and his mouth was slightly open. Since their relationship started, almost two years ago they had never faced a problem this big. Of course, there had been others. They were both human beings with strong personalities. But this one was the first one who had been slowly growing until it had exploded, bringing emotions she would have lived happily without never knowing.

"Liv..." Rafael didn't know what to say. He was overwhelmed by Olivia's confession and her feelings, as well as his own.

"I'm not asking you to adopt that little boy right now. Not that I would be opposed to it. Now that I have you, I would love that Noah had a sibling if it's possible. I just want to know what do you think about the idea of having more kids together." She murmured. "I just want you to talk to me." Olivia grabbed Rafael's hand and squeezed it, while she looked at his sad eyes. "I love you. I love you like I never thought I could love someone. But I feel like you are slipping away from me, and I don't know why." Her hold on Rafael's hand tightened a bit, trying to let him feel she was with him. "I want to be here for you, but you are not letting me. I don't know if you are scared or what. But we are supposed to watch each other backs."

She was looking at him with her big beautiful brown eyes, pleading him with her soul open but he was voiceless. And he saw what it did to her. She didn't say anything, but he could see the hurt in her eyes, and when he felt her hold go away, it was like someone had stabbed him in the heart.

"Good night." She murmured as she lied on the bed looking away.

And as he left their room thinking how that first planned single scotch would probably turn in at least two or three, he knew she was keeping her voice down while she cried herself to sleep, and he didn't know how he was going to fix this.


	31. Chapter 31

_Hello there!_

 _Thank you all for your comments and support! I'm amazed by them._

 _Here's the next part, sorry for the delay. I hope you'll like it. I worked hard on it. There are already another two chapters in the oven, I hope they'll be up soon._

* * *

 _Adventure II_

"Did he settle ok?" Olivia asked Rafael before he had time to sit on the other end of the couch. Before he would have sat gluing her body to Olivia's but since last Friday their relationship had been a bit strained to say something.

So much that Olivia had welcomed an unnecessary call on Saturday and Rafael had unnecessarily pretended to drown himself in paperwork when Olivia had been at home. And neither of them had said anything about it.

"Yes. Just two stories tonight." Rafael said as he grabbed the remote, while she started to read her book again. He didn't say much more as he started to change the channels without really noticing what was on schedule. He knew it was his turn to speak, after how she had left her that night.

"Liv..." He murmured putting the remote away.

"Rafa," Olivia said at the same time, placing her hand on top of Rafael's.

Olivia knew that the other night hadn't been her best decision. Not only because starting that kind of conversation after the trauma she had witnessed a few hours prior was not a wise idea also because she had corralled Rafael when they were dead tired demanding an answer Rafael still wasn't prepared to give. But she had been trying for so long that she hadn't been able to stop her mouth, and despite how hurt she was feeling, an enormous weight had gone away from her shoulders. She had been angry at him, but it hadn't lasted long as the feelings of hurt and worry about what was going to happen had taken place quickly.

"You know you can talk to me." She said hoping her words would make him open to her. She knew he wanted to talk. And after two days of tense conversations and pretending in front of Noah, she wanted to give it another try. This time giving him the opportunity to lead the conversation.

She had seen him fidgeting for the past hours, only relaxing when Noah had asked him to read to him tonight. But she didn't want to push him too much. Not when it hadn't gone well the other night.

"I'm sorry if I was too harsh." She started.

"No." He quickly said. "No, you weren't. I haven't been the easiest. And you were right." He murmured. "I've been hiding." He admitted.

"I don't want to force you. I'm sorry if you felt pressured, I was wrong." She said making Rafael smile a bit before he grabbed her hand and sighed with pleasure when she didn't move away from his touch. In the last two days, the had barely touched or spoken to each other if Noah wasn't with them.

"It's just..." He didn't end his thoughts. He just kept looking at nowhere.

"You don't want to." She offered, trying to hide her hurt in her voice.

"I'm not good with kids. Noah is the exception, and I still don't know why we connected so good." He said, still not looking at her.

"Bullshit." She said plainly, forgetting her brain to mouth filter for a second. He wasn't able to lie to her anymore, and every time he tried to he couldn't look at her face.

"Liv." His voice was tired.

"Look at me." Her hand went to his cheek and gently tried to make him look at her, leaving the last decision to him. In the end, he pleased her, and let her see his conflicted emotions.

"Noah loves you. You are his dad and his hero. And Jesse adores you. And every time we see Fin junior, he follows you everywhere. And don't make me start with Cole and Seth." Her thumb caressed his skin, and Rafael couldn't keep his eyes open. "If you don't want to talk about it yet, it's ok. I just want you to know I'm here."

Rafael knew she was offering him a break, and if she had said it any other time before this weekend, he would have taken it without thinking about it twice. But as much as he couldn't hide from her, it was the same for her to him. They knew each other too well to hide. And he could perfectly see how it was hurting her to say those words. And how much he had hurt her with his withdrawal.

Keeping his eyes closed he moved Olivia's hand closer to his lips and kissed her knuckles, leaving it there for a few seconds.

"I'm just being selfish." He confessed. "We are fine. Everything is perfect right now, and I'm afraid it's going to change." His green eyes were full of anguish.

"Rafi." She murmured.

"When you got Noah, it was different. You were just my friend, my best friend, who wanted to be a mom, and then we happened. But now, I would have never imagined I would have what we have. I never believed I would get married and have a kid. An amazing little boy I love so much, and with whom I have a marvelous relationship. And I'm scared." He murmured. "Scared that if we keep asking for more, we'll lose too much in the way. Scared that we won't be suitable. Scared that someday I'll turn into my father."

"Rafi..." He always did this to her, carry his turmoil of emotions deep inside him.

"He's always there. Making me know I would never be enough." He bitted his lips. "I'm afraid that someday I'll snap because of the stress or because of another stupid thing."

She had to be the one who fished for his emotions one after one once he opened to her. She didn't have any plan to stop doing it, but it always surprised her how much, and how deep he felt.

"Did he...?" She didn't have to end the question for Rafael could know what was she asking. She knew bits of his relation with his father, but she was afraid he had done worse things to Rafael.

"Besides verbal harassment no..." He said with sarcasm until he saw Olivia's face. "Gods, no!" He said trying to comfort Olivia, knowing she had already started thinking about physical abuse and other worse things. "Apart from the scar on my neck, surprisingly he never hit me. They were always threats, but he never fulfilled them. But I'm always afraid someday I'll snap." He murmured.

"Come here." She asked opening her arms to him, needing the hug as much as he did. He went willingly, grabbing her sweatshirt and squeezing her between his arms, and nuzzling her neck with his nose. "My love," She said trying not to cry much. "You'll never be like your father. If your fear about it it's not enough, your heart feels too much to turn into someone like him." Despite wanting to know more, she didn't pressure him to tell her the whole story. He had never been under physical abuse by what she knew, but a lot of times it didn't have to be physical to be real. "I can understand your fear. I had nightmares when I first got Noah." She had told him about them long ago. Now they were only a distant thing. "I'm not asking you to say yes right now. I don't even know if we would be suitable, we haven't been married for a year yet, we already have a kid, and with our jobs... just for starters." As she talked, her hands tried to soothe him caressing his back and neck. "I just wanted to know if you would be open to the possibility to add more members to our family. We've talked about it, although abstractly. And, I'm sorry if I pushed you too much. You were right. It wasn't the best moment to have that kind of conversation."

"It's ok." He said. "It's what I needed. I'm sorry too. I wasn't prepared to talk about it, but I shouldn't have left you alone."

"Rafa.."

"Don't say it's ok. There's no way it can be ok." He said looking at her eyes. In this past days, he had had too much time to think. "I left you alone when you needed me." The thought of her alone at the hospital had hounded him without mercy.

"Let's just say we weren't at our best." She offered, making his lips turn a bit into a smile.

"No..." He murmured looking at her. "The baby..." He didn't have the strength to finish the sentence, and those words were enough to Olivia.

"Don't..." She didn't want to cry anymore about it, at least not today.

"But you shouldn't have been alone during those days." It would be a sting that would accompany them for a while. "I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you." It was the truth. She knew it might take while to the little thorn she had in her heart to leave, but seeing him trying to be out of his comfort zone for her was more than enough to start healing.

"Thank you." He said, knowing that they needed to talk about it more deeply. He wasn't a fool to think otherwise, but he also knew that despite that Olivia had almost shouted at him, she still needed a bit more time to talk about it.

Rafael slowly kissed Olivia's lips for the first time since Friday night. And it felt like he had been starving to death. Her lips felt like they were the light that gave him life. It was a chaste kiss but one that let him share their love with each other.

"Tell me about it." He murmured as he rested his back on the couch bringing Olivia's body with him. Trying to bring a brighter subject.

"Really?" She asked surprised, and it hurt Rafael a bit. Not because he felt like she thought he would never ask about it, it was because he had been the one who had put those feelings there.

"Help me understand." He said kissing her forehead, and Olivia rested her head on his shoulder.

"I just felt a connection with him. Similar to the one I had when I found Noah."

"A connection?" He asked as he moved to look at her.

"Yes. I don't know. I just felt drawn to him. And he trusted me right away." She was a little pensive, searching for the right words. "We just clicked."

"Oh." He tried to understand.

"Would you..." She murmured. "If I talked with Trevor, would you be amenable to meet him?" She asked, not letting him answer. "I'm not asking for a yes and start everything, just meet him. The might have found his relatives by now."

"Mmmm..." She looked at him with so much hope and eagerness. He had thought about it a few times since they had talked about it the first time, but when the idea became plausible, his fears had gotten the best of him. "Ok."

"Really?" She asked, not believing her ears.

"Yeah." Some people called him despicable things like he had no heart or emotions, but when she looked at him like that, like he was her everything he didn't have the strength to say no to her. And, if he looked past his fears, he knew he was already warming to the idea. After seeing how Noah behaved with younger kids, he knew he would be a proud big brother. "Just don't let my fears get me again, please."

"Of course," She said kissing his lips chastely over and over, not being able to deepen the kiss because of her smile. "Just for you know, you are coming with me." She informed him, between kisses.

"Liv!" He backed a little. "I don't want to. I have still not recovered from when we went for Noah's paperwork."

"We said we share everything. The good, the bad. And you owe me." She said, remembering their vows. He only grunted, knowing she wouldn't let him elude this one. "I'll even hold your hand." She offered, mocking him.

"So funny."

"Come on! He's not that bad." Olivia smiled, exuding happiness.

"That's what you say."

"Counselor." She said, moving her face closer to his and grabbing him by his cheeks. "You, my gorgeous specimen of a male alpha, are the one who is my husband. Not Trevor. Don't be jealous."

"I'm not..." He tried to sound outraged.

"Honey..."

"He looks at you!" He said.

"And he can look all he wants. You are the one who has me." She said before kissing him, this time a little harder. She made him lie on the back of the couch to have room to sit on his lap.

Their kiss grew, and their hands didn't have only a healing touch anymore.

"You know..." He said on her lips making her complain when he stopped their kisses.

"Now?" She asked.

"I would appreciate it," Rafael said.

"What?" She didn't want to sound exasperated or not interested in what he wanted to say, but they could be doing funnier things.

"I would have loved it." He said knowing that maybe it wasn't the best moment. But he needed to say it out loud. He didn't want Olivia thinking otherwise for any second more.

"What?" She asked puzzled.

"A baby." He murmured looking at her eyes. "You and me. I would have loved it."

"Rafa." She sobbed once the words took a seat in her making a few tears escape before she kissed him again with all she had in her, trying to put in her lips the feelings she didn't have words for. "I love you, but you drive me crazy." Any other time she would have said something more profound after his confession, but while being torn between the arousal she felt and the feeling of love at him, her language abilities weren't her best.

"Bed?" He said after a while panting at her ministrations.

"Ok." She answered not having any intention to stop. His hands went to her butt, flushing her body to his before he moved to raise with her in his arms making her shriek with surprise.

"You didn't move." He said like it was too obvious, making her laugh as her hands held him tighter.

"Lead the way, my love."

"As you wish, cariño."


	32. Chapter 32

_Hello there!_

 _Sorry for the delay but here's the next part. I hope you like it because I don't know how many times I have read it and rewrote it._

 _Thank you all for your support and comments._

 _I'm already waiting what you think of this chapter. I plan to post the last part in two or three days._

 _I just wanted to say that I don't know anything about how the law goes with adoption or what are the procedures needed._

* * *

 _Adventure III_

He was sitting on a couch, who had seen better days, not quite believing where he was. Rafael was holding one of the forgotten plastic cubes watching Olivia interact with the little boy.

It had only taken them a few days, after talking with Langan, to be where they were. Just a week since that conversation to be sitting in one of the meeting room's of the orphanage where the boy Olivia had connected with was being taken care of by the social services. And if it hadn't been by the courage she had given him, keeping her promise to hold his hand, he didn't know, if he would have gone all the way.

Every night, once Noah was sleeping, she had gently coaxed him, and once his mouth started to list his concerns and fears, he hadn't stopped until they were all out. She had done a great job, reassuring him. Remembering him what a good father he was to Noah, and how he had this marvelous and mysterious touch with kids. Turning down gently and swiftly every one of his fears, not leaving him room to hesitate.

They had talked a lot during this past days, about everything. Sure their late problems had taken a big part of their time alone, but they had also spoken about other equally important things. Things weren't perfect yet. He still felt the sting in his heart every time he thought about what Olivia had endured alone, but they were on the right path. And by the way, Olivia had opened to him he knew she believed the same.

And on top of that, how was he supposed to say no to those beautiful brown eyes of hers? She didn't even need them to be shining with excitement to have her way with him. Not that he would ever complain.

Once the man who had welcomed them had opened the door, Olivia had gone to the little boy quickly, being overjoyed when the boy seemed to remember her if he had to go by his eagerness to be held in her arms. Rafael had stayed by the door, looking at them, not wanting to scare him or anything, and getting all the information he could with that first glimpses. As Olivia had told him, he was probably a year and a half old at most, and he had dark blond hair and light brown eyes, and despite the nightmare, he had been living until a few days ago he was smiling.

He had quietly approached them, once they had been alone, and gently had waved at the little boy. He had shied a bit from him hiding in Olivia's chest, but he hadn't looked afraid. Giving Rafael hope, knowing he could work with shyness.

They had been playing for a while when they heard someone open the door.

"Hello." The voice was attached to a young man's face with dark blond hair and gentle blue eyes. "My name's Adam." He introduced himself and sat on the chair in front of the couch, silently opening the file he had on top of the stack he had brought with him. "I'm the social worker assigned to Graham's case. And if I'm not wrong, I received a call from Mr. Langan that you might be interested in fostering him."

"That's the idea," Olivia said. "I'm Olivia, and he's my husband, Rafael."

"It's a pleasure." His smile looked sincere, and it transmitted peace. "I read your file, and I saw you have done this before."

"Yeah," Rafael said, despite during that time he had only been a source of moral support. "With our son, Noah."

"So his name is Graham, right?" Olivia asked.

"Yes. Once the DNA results came back, and we could identify his birth mother, we found his birth certificate."

"And where is she now?" Rafael asked. Neither of them knew much about how the case had continued or about the boy's situation after the Federals had taken the case.

"She was one of the deceased woman found in Mr. Johnson property." They weren't any words that could ease the information, nor kind words to describe what that madman had done to those young girls.

"Oh." Rafael murmured.

"Yeah."

"And how is he, medically speaking?" Olivia asked.

"Physically he's on the lower side of the height and weight percentiles, but it's nothing a good alimentation can't solve," Adam explained them. "What worries me more is the psychological part, he has nightmares and serious delay in his speech."

"It's nothing surprising," Olivia said. "When we got Noah, he came from a similar situation."

"I understand."

"How are the other kids?" Rafael asked, remembering how Olivia had told him there had been five kids in that room.

"They're fine. We've been able to locate relatives that would take them in." He explained them.

"We were told he has no one?" Rafael's voice was concerned.

"None in our database. His mother grew up in the system. Her file has her parents labeled as unknown, and we didn't find any DNA match."

"Ok."

"May I ask why would you want to start again?" He said. "I don't want to be disrespectful but seeing you already have a family. I'm just curious."

Rafael and Olivia stood silent for a few seconds looking at each other until Olivia smiled at him.

"As you already know, I'm a Lieutenant of the NYPD, and it was my squad who discovered him and the others in that house." She explained. "I just felt a connection with him, and we had already talked about having one more. It's just felt like the right moment."

"It's not that you are not suitable. Your reports on Noah's fostering are amazing. But..." The young man seemed nervous like he didn't know how to say his next words. "It surprises me that no one has told you. But, when we run the DNA, we found another match besides his birth mother. And we try to not separate siblings."

"Wait." Rafael stopped him, and Olivia grabbed his hand. "Are you telling us he has a brother?"

"More like a six months old half-sister."

"Oh, God." The hand he had free went to his face while he couldn't stop his sigh.

"That was unexpected," Olivia said.

"I'm sorry, but when I saw the petition was only for Graham, I had to make sure you knew the full story. She's in the same situation. Her DNA matches are only him and her birth mother."

"Can we see her?" Rafael asked surprising the other to adults in the room.

"Rafa?" His name slipped from Olivia's lips, and he squeezed her hand knowing how she had been dying to ask the same question, and how she had stopped herself because of him.

"I know it's not the protocol, but..."

"Yeah, no problem." Adam smiled at them as we stood from the chair. "If you follow me I'll show you the way."

"The little guy can come too," Olivia said as she and Rafael followed the other man through the door, seeing how his hold on her didn't have any plan to be removed.

"Of course."

The short walk to the nursery was silent. The room had a soft green color on its walls, and it had two short lines of cribs. Adam gently signaled the last one of the group and quietly escorted them there.

The first glimpse Rafael got off the girl was how calm she was while she looked at the ceiling with a firm grasp on her pacifier. And Rafael quickly spotted the similarities she had with his brother. She had the same skin color, and light brown hair and the same nose, but her eyes were darker than his. And it made him think about Olivia's beautiful chocolate eyes.

"Her name is Sarah." Adam murmured.

"Rafa." She had said not leaving her eyes from the girl, and he didn't need to see her eyes to imagine what she was thinking. But when she finally looked at him, he was lost. It barely took him a second to piece it all in his head, and he just needed another one to start screaming in silence.

Only the idea was already a madness. Three kids under the age of four was a madness. Just the thought of one more kid had haunted him and made his fears overpower him, and now there were two kids. Rafael could feel his hair turning grayer with just the thought of it. The diapers again, the feedings at ungodly hours, the potty training, the tantrums, the food stains on his clothes, the runs after them in the park, or the frightening runs to the ER.

The house. Sure, they could turn his office into a nursery. Would Noah want to share his room? Or would the other two share what was now his office. They would be cramped again. And he didn't want to contemplate the idea of moving to another place. Only the move on its own was already a nightmare. And if he had to think about finding another home, it would turn into a torture.

He wanted to ask how would they do it. How would they balance all, when they barely kept it afloat now. Gods. He could already forget about the sex. He had lost the count of how many times Noah had interrupted. He didn't remember the number of times Noah had been in the middle. And with three kids it would be an impossible mission.

He wanted to say a lot of things, but when he saw the look in her eyes, he only opened his mouth without saying anything more than a little moan as he looked at the eyes of that little girl.


	33. Chapter 33

_Hello there!_

 _I'm sorry to write this here, but I don't have any other way to answer a few comments I read these past days. I don't want to sound angry or boor or any other similar thing. I understand I can't only have supportive opinions, that critical reviews are an essential part of a work._

 _I'm sorry if my past chapters have tons of grammatical errors, but I'm not a writer, and English is not my maternal language. And I live in a country where English it's not heard every day. I started all these as a personal challenge to improve my English, and I thought that I had gotten better. I try to do it right. I'm not using all these as an excuse, just as an explanation._

 _I love your support and comments. I love reading your opinions, and know what you liked most of the chapter. I'm amazed at how this story is becoming something way bigger than I even thought of, and they give me the urge to write more and more. And my plan it's to continue it for a little longer at least._

 _I don't mind critical reviews, as I said they are a necessary part of any project. But I can do anything if I don't understand or see what it's wrong._

 _Anyway,_

 _Here's the next chapter. This one has a lighter mood. I hope you'll like it and I hope to hear what you think. I'm already planning new adventures I'll try update as soon as I can._

 _Thank you all for your support!_

* * *

 _Adventure IV_

"That was madness." He murmured, still not being able to speak properly. And he wasn't the only one, because Olivia only grunted as an affirmation as she nestled her face on his neck. "I think I have never been so drained." His hand had moved from her back to her hair and had started to massage her scalp gently. "Can you remind me why I accepted this idea?" He asked knowing that neither of them would ever regret it, but after today Rafael believed they had earned five minutes of complaint. "Because, right now, despite I can easily remember the fun parts, tomorrow I'm going to be walking funny because how stiff my muscles are going to be. And it's going to be a pain in the ass." Olivia's response to his words was a muffled chuckle.

"You are such a drama queen." She said.

"Say what you want, but I know you are feeling as bad as am I," Rafael said making her groan. It was true. She only hoped she wouldn't be the one walking funny tomorrow. "How can they have so much energy? They never run out of it."

It was nine o'clock on a Saturday and as good parents, they were already in bed, fighting their sleep. They had started their leave two days ago, when Graham and Sarah had gone home with them, just after two weeks of having their paperwork for fostering them done.

He had never thought they would have all the paperwork arranged on such a short notice. Olivia had been surprised too, and at the same time, a little scared as they had barely had time to introduce Noah to the idea of being a big brother and they had barely had a few meetings where the three kids had been together.

Despite Rafael's many concerns and fears the two kids were calm and easygoing, he knew three days wasn't enough time to let them share their whole personality, but until now, despite not being a natural like Liv he had managed pretty well. But to him and probably to Olivia too, Noah had been the biggest surprise.

He loved being the big brother. It had been amazing seeing him interact with the other two. Going from being a ball of energy trying to teach Graham all he thought it was important to sit quietly and awed beside Rafael or Olivia watching how Sarah drank her bottle. They had had a few close calls when Noah couldn't have their whole attention, the two of them knew it was bound to happen. No kid goes from being an only child to have a brother or sister without a few potholes in the way. But they had managed, founding new games. Like the one where Noah guessed or invented what happened in the story images while they were nursing Sarah.

"You had a good idea today," Olivia said as she kissed and nuzzled his neck. It hadn't been an elaborate plan, just spent the day at the park. It always did wonders for the kids, and at their age, they were easy to make them happy. They had lunch enjoying the sunny day, and their day had ended with home games between baby feedings and a few diaper changes.

"They are so easy to make happy," Rafael said.

"Yeah, I'm just sorry Graham still doesn't trust you entirely."

"It's ok." Rafael tried not to give it much importance, as they had only been with them for a few days.

"Rafi, I saw your face," Olivia said without believing his words, but not wanting to push him.

"It's just..." He murmured. "Of course it hurts me, but it's not because of his actions. I hurt because I don't want to imagine the kind of people who hurt him like this." Sarah hadn't had any problem with Rafael. She was happy with warm, food, cuddles, and human contact. Graham had been a little different.

Before going home with them, the three of them had visited the orphanage a few times. And every time Graham had interacted more and more with Rafael. But there still was hints of mistrust and fear, and if Rafael did something rush or that seemed like he was angry, the boy recoiled scared.

"He just needs time," Rafael said.

"Yeah." It was hard for her too. Hurting when she saw how the two of them struggled in that moments. "Just keep talking to me, please."

"That's a thing I plan to do." He said, both knowing how important was to keep talking between them. "We could go to the zoo tomorrow." Rafael offered, trying to light the conversation. They both knew what it could do to them start a talk that serious when they were both so tired, as they were still paying the price of the last one.

"Do you think we'll be up for it?" Olivia asked, surprised at his offering.

"It depends." He said.

"Of what?"

"On how many times we are woken up by one of them or of how many tinny hands and feet are going to hit me in the face, neck or belly during the night if this one goes by last night standards." They were both smiling. At first, it had only been Sarah with them, but she seemed to had a silent alarm that made the other two aware, and gave them the invitation to join their bed.

"I can understand that." She said caressing the skin available.

"Thank God we don't have a dog."

"Yet." Olivia murmured.

"Yet?" He asked surprised, they hadn't talked about it, but he had always got the vibe Olivia didn't want pets.

"They'll ask for one at some point."

"And we can say no." The conviction in his voice made Olivia laugh.

"If it was difficult to say no to Noah, wait till they join forces." She could easily picture Rafael squirming under their pleading eyes sooner than she would prefer. It was Rafael's turn to laugh.

"Good to know how little faith you have in me."

"With the kids..." She murmured between kisses. "All the faith in the world." He was laughing at her comment as she kept her kisses on his neck.

"I'm too tired Liv." He couldn't remember if he had said no to her anytime before, but he was too tired to do any good. And he didn't want to think how many different food stains decorated his shirt.

"You smell good." She murmured, and he relaxed seeing she hadn't taken his comment badly, probably because she was as exhausted as him. And it was also the reason why her kisses hadn't escalated beyond an innocent touch.

"I smell." He hadn't had the strength to shower before going to bed.

"It's not too bad." Every word she said was more hushed and with more space in between. She was falling asleep, and he wasn't going to need much more time. His fingers had always done wonders when they touched her hair.

"Ok, I always trust your sense of smell more than mine." He murmured, but this time his words were to the ceiling as Olivia had succumbed to Morfeo's arms for the night.

He had never thought he would have a family like theirs. Sometimes he hadn't even been sure if he would get married at any point in his life. Much to his mother's dismay. But right now he couldn't be happier or couldn't imagine his life in any other way.


	34. Chapter 34

_Hello there!_

 _I'm sorry it has been so long. I hope I'll catch up with the updates and start posting more frequently again._

 _Thank you all for your comments and support it makes me want to write more and more, and especially to Lyssa813 who is now my beta-reader. Thank you lots!_

 _I hope you like the chapter even_ though _it doesn't have any major life changes. I'm already waiting for your opinions. ;P_

* * *

Two months had passed by in a blur, despite how much it still felt like just yesterday when the three of them had gone to pick up Graham and Sarah. Adding, during that time, a ton of new experiences and challenges she would never regret. She knew Rafael was in the same boat as her, despite how overwhelming, tiresome or distressing it could be. She also knew she would never regret taking that step with Rafael because he was thriving as a father.

The first month they had been parenting by themselves, not wanting to overwhelm the kids. Giving them all time to settle with the changes taking place and letting their personalities show up for earnest.

And it hadn't been until the second month as a new family of five when it happened for the first time. It had been fun and sometimes emotional when their family got to see Rafael's fatherly mood in earnest. They had seen glimpses before, but Rafael's fear of being teased even if it was with easygoing nature hadn't let them see fully his daddy antics before.

It had surprised her how insecure and unsure he was of this side of him, but no amount of words on her part had changed his behavior. He didn't neglect the kids when they were with their family, but she could see how restricted his behavior was. But it seemed something, she didn't know yet, had changed. And it was like he had thrown his fears out the window because he wasn't scared anymore to let the world see this side of him.

She had seen these moments before. Those fatherly moments between father and son. Since that first night, she brought Noah home, and Rafael still thought he was holding a bomb in his arms, she knew she had been lucky enough to see that undiscovered and marvelous side of Rafael. She loved those images of him, and with time she had managed to control her arousal. But she had to admit that the change had brought new obstacles to her, and her libido.

It was easy to remember the people whose reaction had meant more, because of the feelings involved or because how surreal they had been.

…

Lucia Barba.

She was bound to be the first one.

She had already been a fearsome grandmother of one, and now there were three kids for her to spoil rotten. She was in heaven.

They were supposed to have a date night. It was nothing major, just a few hours away to share with each other, while Lucia enjoyed her beloved time with her grandkids.

It hadn't been strange for her to have arrived at their place earlier than they had planned, finding Olivia and Sarah having a little girl time while the boys were having their mischief.

"Where are the boys?" Lucia asked, with a happy Sarah on her lap. It had only taken her a few minutes to have her in her arms, enjoying the age of Sarah. It was a thing she hadn't had the opportunity before, as Noah had been older when she had first gotten the title of grandmother.

Olivia smiled at her question. She knew where they were, as she had found them while she went to Sarah's room to pick her up after her nap. She had managed to snatch a photo before they caught her staring at them with a loving smile and tearful eyes, as she stared at the blush rising on Rafael's skin. But before she could say anything, the laughs coming from the hallway stole Lucia's attention.

"Better if you go see for yourself," Olivia said enigmatically, making Lucia's curiosity grow.

"Ok." The elder woman said before she left Sarah with her mother and followed the voices.

It might have been a cliche thing, but sure it had put a smile on her face. Rafael had only wanted to groom a bit of the stubble he was wearing during his paternity leave before they went to their date, but the inquisitive minds of their boys had managed to change his plans. And that had been how she had found them. Rafael with shaving cream on his face and his forgotten razor in his hand, and the boys with soapy bubbles on their checks and something she hadn't identified in their hands, while they learned how to shave and be little men.

It had been amazing.

"I know," Olivia said when she saw Lucia coming back with the same tearful eyes and shy smile she knew she had shown Rafael when she had seen them.

"He's..." Lucia didn't know what to say as she sat again on the couch.

"Amazing." Olivia offered. "You already have the photo I stole on your phone." Olivia knew she would want it.

"He's thriving."

"Yeah, he still doesn't believe it sometimes," Olivia said.

"Soon," Lucia said grasping her hand. "Sometimes he can be a little slow." She said making both women laugh.

…

Amanda.

It wasn't surprising she was the second to say it.

That morning a short conversation between her and Amanda had transformed into an easygoing afternoon at the park, and now the two of them were quietly watching Rafael and Sonny run with Noah, Graham, and Jesse while they sat under a tree's shade with Sarah.

"I saw him many times with Noah, but this..." Amanda said, neither of them leaving their sight of their husbands and kids.

"I know," Olivia said with a smile on her face.

"He's like... I don't know... thriving?" Amanda said. "I mean... I saw him do the same when it was just Noah, but he's... different now... I guess."

"Yeah..." Olivia had noticed too. Once his fears had settled down a bit, he had always been the first one in line to play with Noah, not caring if he was bound to get dirty or go home with the whole sandbox in his shoes, but the three kids together had allowed something new arise.

"Did you know he asked Sonny tips on how to manage that many kids?" Amanda asked her. The whole squad knew about his nieces and nephews, but she wouldn't have imagined Rafael would go to him for advice. Because as much as their friendship had evolved from the days when Sonny drove him crazy with his questions and suggestions, he still went to Rita when he needed someone to vent to.

"No way!" Olivia said surprised seeing how Amanda nodded in amusement at her reaction.

"I only know because of I overheard their conversation at the precinct. He was fidgeting, poor Sonny, as he tried to deny it when I asked, trying to keep it under my radar." Olivia laughed at Amanda's words, trying to keep her blush at minimal. Leave it to her husband to find a way to make her blush when he wasn't beside her. "I know," Amanda said, making Olivia look at her. Apparently, she hadn't been as subtle as she had thought. "Sonny does the same to me."

Neither of them needed much more words between them. There was a thing seeing your man acting like a father that you couldn't explain or make other people understand unless they were in the same boat as you.

…

Rita.

Despite how much she had come to like and care for Rafael's university friend, sometimes she didn't know how her mind worked. And more often than not was caught with not quite knowing what to say.

And that was what was happening now.

Through Noah's daycare, they had known about the event hosted today at the park. A day of sports for little kids until eight years old. And Noah had wanted to invite everyone. Hence the presence of the whole squad and their kids.

And now she somehow found herself alone with Rita, completely unaware of how that happened. They had been working less and less together, mostly due to her relationship with Fin, and from being tired of defending people she knew were guilty. And now the few times they shared work it was from the same side of the case, letting her see another side of Rita and allowing her to forge a good friendship.

"They are quite a sight," Rita said. Olivia expected to see a smirk on the other woman's face, but she found a gentle smile instead. Following her sight, she saw her husband.

Sarah was in his arms, and Graham was clasping his pants while they cheered on Noah who was in the sack race, catching her attention so much that she didn't think to answer Rita's observation. While she kept looking at them, Olivia noticed how Graham caught Rafael's attention to be picked up, and how he easily managed to pick him up, despite having Sarah perched on his other hip.

"I had started to lose hope. I thought I would never see him like this." Rita's words were enough this time to properly catch Olivia's attention, showing her curiosity to the other woman. "It wasn't until we had been friends for a few months...I think we were in our second year the first time I caught him... I saw him sometimes looking at families. He had that expression on his face, like a little kid looking at something he's being denied. I never asked him about it. I already knew the little bits about his father and his past relationship with Yelina to know my questions wouldn't be appreciated." Rita's sight didn't leave the boys while she talked. "So, thank you."

"For?" Olivia murmured, a little afraid to ask.

"For giving my friend what he has been denying himself for years," Rita said making Olivia blush.

"You are welcomed," Olivia said not knowing what to say. Rita had caught her out of nowhere, as always.

"I knew he would be that kind of dad. The one that thrives seeing how his kids grow, the one that doesn't mind to get dirtier than them if he gets smiles and laughs in reward."

"I knew it too."

Neither of them said anything more for a few minutes, both of them enjoying the silence between them. Until Rafael came back with the kids, and the easy banter between the adults started again.

…

Fin.

It's the same day, just a few hours later. She finds herself looking at Rafael and the kids from afar again. They are still in the park, enjoying the sports day when Fin approaches her.

He is the big brother she never had, a constant she has had since they started working together.

"Do you want me to bring you a bucket to pick your drool baby girl?" He asked making her laugh and blush.

"No thank you." She tried to shush him.

"You sure?" He asked again.

"Yes," Olivia said with loving exasperation, making Fin laugh.

"You look happy." He said as he settled beside her.

"I am."

"Good." He murmured. "I was pretty close to beating some sense into him a few months back." He confessed making Olivia look at him with surprise. "Don't look at me like this." He said. "I know something happened, I didn't ask, but I knew there was something off with both of you." Olivia knew there was no point in trying to deny it and the soft sigh gave Fin the answer he needed.

"I don't know if I want to thank you or to strangle you." She said making him chuckle despite the serious tone of their conversation.

"I'll always have your back." Fin said. "You are my sister."

"Fin," Olivia murmured as she went to hug him. Between Rita and him she was on the verge of tears for the second time today.

"And I'll have yours," Olivia said.

"Good." Fin said. "I'm still needed?" Fin asked.

"Not anymore, we talked," Olivia said remembering the multiple talks they had had since they decided on increasing their family. "And we both got our heads out of our asses."

"Ok." Fin said as he kept his arm on Olivia's back, maintaining the contact between the two of them. "He's good at it." He said.

"Did you have any doubt?" Olivia asked trying not to sound petty or a boor.

"No, no." Fin quickly assured her. "Just surprised, I didn't think he would be so at ease. The first times i saw him interacting with a kid..." Fin didn't end the thought to have Olivia remember those first times with Noah, and how awkwardly cute he was.

"He has come around."

"You could say so." Fin said making them both chuckle. "Now don't let me waste your time. Go be with them." Fin said as he gently pushed her towards her family. "You've done enough stalking for today."

She didn't have time to answer Fin's words because, as quickly as he said them he was leaving her alone. But he was right. She was done stalking today.

…

Chief Dodds.

Despite how difficult it could be to roam the city with three kids under four they had decided to have lunch outside after spending the morning walking through the city.

The place Rafael chose hadn't been anything special, just a family friendly Italian place with a marvelous kids menu.

And now with the bellies full, the kids had asked for a quick trip to the closest park.

"Lieutenant?" A voice she knew perfectly caught her attention.

"Chief." She hadn't seen Dodds since she had started her leave. "How are you?" She asked surprised to find the man on this side of the city.

"Fine, just visiting some friends." He said.

"Good."

"Liv?" Rafael's voice came from behind as he had been slowed by Noah who had caught something interesting in a nearby show window.

"Counselor?" Dodds asked when he saw Rafael. He was in full daddy way. His hair had no product, his stubble was a bit scruffy, and he had decided to wear jeans and a soft green jumper this morning. But the best part was that apart from having Noah's hand clasped in his, he had Sarah flushed against his chest in the baby carrier.

"Chief Dodds," Rafael said not seeing how unsettled Dodds was at his appearance, being too concentrated on his argument with Noah about having a second ice-cream in the same day.

"Yeah..." Dodds murmured. "Well, I better keep going, or I'm going to be late." He said as he started to move again, with his face still bearing how surprised he was.

"Ok. It was nice seeing you." Olivia said as the other man bid his farewell.

"He seemed a bit spooked," Rafael commented as he gently guided Olivia with a hand on her back towards the park while Graham was grabbing her hand.

"I think you broke him a bit." She said smirking.

"Me?" Rafael asked surprised. "I barely spoke to the man." He said as they made their way towards the park.

"You didn't need any words. Your papa mode was enough." Olivia said making Rafael blush a little. "But don't worry, I don't think your reputation will be ruined, my love." Olivia loved to mess with him.

"Haha, you are so funny," Rafael said. "Just be careful with your words or the next time I sneak a cookie or ice-cream I won't share." He said seriously. "Come on boys, let's race to the swings," Rafael said to the kids, and before he left with them he looked at Olivia for a second winking at her teasingly, not seeing her amusement at his childish words.

…

It wasn't unusual to be woken up by one of the kids in the middle of the night, but the strange part of this night was that she had woken up alone in bed without any noise to be the cause of it.

Without thinking she woke up and went to check on the kids. The boys were sleeping, and Sarah's crib was empty as she had expected after seeing a light coming from the living room.

From the threshold, she saw Rafael. He wasn't doing anything she hadn't seen before. But God, these days she didn't need much more to be floating in clouds of happiness. If his stubble, his messy bedhead hair, the wrinkled white t-shirt paired with some boxers wasn't enough, his voice while he murmured a Spanish lullaby trying to calm their daughter sure was the cherry on top.

She didn't care that the living room was a mess, or how the boys could go from being as thick as thieves to barely having time to catch them before they started to throw at each other the closest toy they had when a misunderstanding between them happened. Always happening when only one parent was available, and at the same moment the boys went feral, Sarah decided she wanted their attention. Or how terrified they still were that something was going to go wrong, that they had put too much on the same plate.

They had stumbled through a few rough patches, but it had been nothing that patience and love couldn't solve. Nothing that an honest and open conversation between the adults, once the sun was down, that was able to ease the concerns and the overwhelming feelings she or Rafael could have.

But seeing moments like this one, it made it all worth it. Seeing or hearing the kids smile and laugh, seeing them grow, learn and evolve. So pure, that for the first time since she had started at the force, the fleeting thought of retirement wasn't making run to the hills. It was the first time that the thought of finding another way to help while getting to spent more time with her family brought a warm feeling in her belly.

"Something on your mind." Rafael's voice startled her making him laugh softly, careful of the sleeping baby in his arms.

"Something." She murmured as she stepped beside him, resting her head on his shoulder, and her hand on his waist.

"Want to share?" He offered as he kissed her on her hair.

"One of these days you have to stop doing this," Olivia said smirking.

"This? What's this supposed to mean?"

"Making my legs go all jelly when I see you with the kids." She said making him chuckle.

"Only if you stop too." He said. "Because we are in the same boat cariño (honey)."

"What?" She asked surprised, looking at him in the eyes.

"What? You hadn't noticed?" Rafael said. "I've got all of these alpha growls I have to keep down." It was her turn to chuckle.

"You are good at this." Olivia murmured kissing Rafael's cheek and caressing his hair.

"I try."

"And you are succeeding," Olivia said while Rafael only mumbled as an agreement. "Don't try to tell me otherwise."

"Ok." He said smiling, letting her see he was one step closer to believe her.

"Good," Olivia said pleased, as she rested her head on his shoulder again.

"This is good." She murmured.

"Yes." He said while they both kept looking at the sleeping girl. They should probably put her on her crib, but five more minutes of cuddles didn't hurt anyone. He could start rambling on how good it was, but Rafael knew he would never find the right words to describe the mix of feelings his heart felt.


	35. Chapter 35

_Hello there!_

 _Here's the next one. I hope I'm able to keep this one week update._

 _Thank you all for your support, this has gone way bigger than I thought. Thank you again Lyssa813 for your amazing review! I hope you'll like this chapter as it brought me a smile while I was writing it, and I hope I'll hear or read your opinions. ;D!_

* * *

 _Surprise._

Rafael knew he looked like he was going to war, and that he would surely be teased for it, but he didn't care.

In a week their leave would end, and today it was his first outing alone with the kids. Rita had managed to get three reservations to a high-end spa, and she had invited Olivia and Amanda leaving him alone. He wasn't going to be alone for the whole day, just during the time he needed to get himself and the kids to the zoo. Olivia and Amanda had arranged a day at the zoo for all the kids so he and Sonny would be spending the afternoon together.

It wasn't that he was scared of the kids, but he had never been alone with the three of them in the middle of the city. There was always someone with him, mostly Olivia or his mother.

And that was the reason he was looking like he was going to war. Sarah and Graham were sitting side by side in the double stroller they had bought, and Noah was on the standing board behind the two big overfilled handlebar bags that contained all he had thought he could need. But the feeling that he was forgetting something hadn't left him yet.

Everything seemed to be going well as they made their way into the zoo as Noah talked about the elephants they were going to see.

"Nice t-shirts Rafael," Sonny said smirking without having said hello due to spotting them before they saw him and Jesse.

"I love them," Rafael said. He knew the color was a little fluorescent, but it made his life easier, letting him spot the kids really fast. They were orange, and each had an animal drawn on it. Noah's choice had been an elephant, obviously. Graham wore a monkey and Sarah a koala.

Not that Sarah was going to need it today, she wasn't walking yet. But Rafael wanted the kids to be equal, and she had gotten quite sneaky with her crawling at home.

Olivia had teased him when she saw them, threatening to buy him one with a shark. He had smirked at her words, already knowing which animal he would have put on Olivia's, a wolf, always protecting what's hers.

"You don't have a matching one?" Sonny asked as they crossed the doors of the zoo.

"Talk to me when you have more kids, and you go nuts when you can't spot them in less than five seconds," Rafael said knowing Sonny would throw him one of his comebacks. However, after receiving none he looked at the other man questioningly. Sonny was blushing, trying to keep his face blank. "No witty comeback?" Rafael asked while looking at the other man carefully. "Sonny? My mind is starting to make crazy assumptions."

"Aaa...Yeah." Sonny didn't manage much more as his blush spread on his skin.

"Oh, God!" Rafael said after a few seconds once he had connected the dots. "Really? Is Amanda pregnant? Should I say congratulations?" He didn't know if he was making a question or an affirmation as they both stopped in the middle of one of the zoo's roads.

"What?" Sonny asked leaving his bubble at last. "Yeah! Yeah, of course!" He said still blushing as Rafael clasped his shoulder in a friendly manner.

"God man! You scared me for a second there." He said smiling in earnest. "Congratulations!" He said again.

"Thanks," Sonny said blushing again with happiness in his face.

Rafael would have never thought he would be spending a day at the zoo with Carisi and their kids when he first met him. He drove him mad without really trying due to his suggestions and his naive ideas for the cases. But as the cases started to make him think more outside the box putting his law degree to use, he had started to make useful tips, not that Rafael wouldn't admit it, at least not yet. But the real change had happened barely two months ago.

He had been walking through the streets without a path trying to ease his mind to the idea of adopting not one but two kids in the same go. A brother and a sister with no one in the world to take care of them, to be their family along with Noah. Not knowing the time or where he was when they stumbled into each other but now realizing it was a blessing in disguise.

It had been a little weird, but thinking about it now it had been what he needed. Someone who knew him but not that deep, like Olivia, his mom or Rita. Someone who was good at listening despite his sometimes overbearing mouth, and who didn't diminish him for his fears, and instead told him a few of his own.

And from there, they had started to talk, sometimes about serious problems and many other times about their normal days. But it gave Rafael the vibe that Sonny was starting to be someone he could call a friend quicker than he had thought, despite all the teasing.

"How far along is she?" Rafael asked as they started to walk again, each of them pushing his stroller.

"10 weeks."

"It's still early."

"Yeah... We went to the doctor last week to have the official confirmation, and everything is fine." Sonny said remembering the scare they had during Jesse's delivery. "So..."

"So what?" Rafael asked curiously.

"Amanda wanted to wait until she reaches the second trimester to let everyone know..." Sonny said not ending the thought.

"And to me, that means?"

"You can't tell Olivia. Amanda would kill me." Sonny said pleadingly making Rafael laugh.

"Are you serious?" Rafael asked when Sonny didn't laugh or smile. "There's no way I can do that. I don't know how to lie to her." He said.

"Papi, los elefantes! (Papi, the elephants!)" Noah said making his father remember about his promise.

Lately, Noah had been fascinated by them, wanting to know everything his wandering mind could grasp. There was a public feeding in an hour, and Noah wanted to be the first in line, and his fear to not be there in time had made Rafael promise him that they would go see them first.

"Si mijo, ahora vamos a verlos. No te preocupes. (Yes mijo, we'll go now see them. Don't worry.)" Rafael said as he messed up Noah's curls.

"You've gotten remarkably good at multitasking Rafael." Sonny smug smile was present on his face.

"Yes, I've mastered the skill so don't even try to fool me. Because even in the remote case I could keep my mouth quiet for two weeks with something so big, I'm a dead man as soon as Olivia knows I've known for weeks. So don't count on me there amigo." Rafael said as his finger pointed at Sonny.

"Rafael," Sonny complained. "I wasn't even supposed to tell you."

"Not my problem."

"Rafael!"

"No, you are not going to fool me," Rafael said smirking. "You are going to call your wife, and tell her to at least tell Liv."

"It's only two weeks." Sonny tried.

"And pigs can fly. Liv is like a living lie-detector." Rafael said making Sonny laugh. "And you didn't tell me, I've guessed it." He tried to help.

"And that is supposed to help me." Sonny was a bit skeptic.

"Yeah. Blame me." Rafael offered. "And maybe bribe her with something just in case." Rafael was smirking now, and Sonny laughed at the other's man words.

"That could work." Sonny pondered.

"We have to have each other's backs," Rafael said surprising himself and Sonny with his words, at how easily they had slipped from his lips.

"Yeah..." Sonny murmured smiling. "But don't think you'll have a free ticket when you mess it up. This is your fault."

"My fault?" Rafael asked. "Sorry to inform you, but for a cop, your poker face sucks," Rafael said chuckling.

Sonny was laughing too, but before he could react to Rafael's words, Noah's yell interrupted them.

"Mira! (Look!)" Noah exclaimed happily and signaling the beautiful animals in front of them moving towards the water pool they had in their enclosure.

"They are beautiful, aren't they?" Rafael said as they stopped in front of the fence of the elephant's enclosure, looking at his son's amazing face. Making him smile and know it was going to be a marvelous day.


	36. Chapter 36

_Hello there!_

 _Sorry for the delay, I didn't plan on it. It just happened. In compensation, I have a long chapter for today. I hope you like it, and I'm already waiting for your opinions._

 _Thank you so much for your support, you are amazing, and for my amazing beta Lyssa813. I'm thrilled about it._

* * *

 _Sweet torture_

Rita

The only sound in the room was coming from their heavy breathing and their paired beating hearts wanting to explode from their chests. Their sweaty skin was flushed to one another with Rita's face resting on Fin's collarbone. Neither of them wanting to move from their spot with the sheets tangled at their feet.

Their boys were spending the night at Ken and Alejandro's home having a game marathon night once their little boy went to bed. So, it hadn't taken Rita much more than five minutes to convince Fin to take advantage of having the house to themselves to be as loud, and as un-careful, as they wanted.

Sometimes she missed this kind of liberty, being free to be as noisy as she wanted or free to fully attack Fin on the couch whenever she wanted, but she would never change how her life was now.

"God woman," Fin chuckled trying to kiss Rita's air while his fingers ran through her hair so he could see her face.

"That was a good one." She said smiling, nuzzling his neck, making him laugh as his hand trailed down touching her naked back, both of them enjoying the afterglow of their lovemaking.

"You could say so." Fin chuckled thinking for a fleeting moment how sometimes he was still amazed at his luck. Of how after so much time alone, when he had lost hope to find someone with whom he could confide anything without fear, he had found Rita. Or the other way around. "I didn't have a chance to ask before, but I suppose you did have a good time with the girls."

"Mmmm..." Rita murmured on his collarbone. They had barely exchanged a few words and Rita had already been on top of him, kissing him and touching him everywhere. Not that he was even going to complain about it. "Amanda is pregnant," Rita said out of the blue, but when he didn't say anything she looked at him suspiciously.

"I suspected it." He said sheepishly, making her laugh.

"How? She looked pretty adamant to keep it a secret for now." Rita said. "Olivia and I only know because she turned down the champagne."

"Morning sickness, that doesn't happen only in the mornings." Fin explained. "But I didn't tell her anything."

"Quite self-explanatory." She chuckled without leaving her spot on Fin's chest. "I've always wondered how it feels."

"What? Being pregnant?" Fin asked without putting any feeling in his voice. Letting Rita drive the conversation. Since their relationship started it had been their routine, to not overcrowd the other when a delicate matter was being discussed.

"Yeah. Despite my beloved independence, I've always been curious. Mostly when I see a woman with that tinny smile when she touches her belly like she was physically feeling her connection to her baby."

"Do you want to...?" He tried to ask plainly dreading a bit her answer. Despite that he liked kids, in general, he didn't want to start again.

"What?" She asked surprised moving to look at his face. "Don't worry love." She said smirking at his face, loving the fact he had asked her what she wanted despite the obvious aversion in his face to the idea. "Don't fret. I'm perfectly fine with what we have. I don't need more." Rita said as she rested again on his chest, once Fin's face had relaxed, kissing the skin closer to her. "I'm still surprised of how well it had all gone. My father is still surprised at having two grandkids." She said making them both chuckle.

"Ok... I just..."

"Oh! I know." Rita said. "But... Are you happy?" She asked feeling a little scared for a second. Their relationship was as strong as ever, but after being alone for so much time, every time she voiced a question like this a shiver of fear crossed her body.

"Hey!" Fin murmured squishing Rita between his arms, pulling her as close as it was physically possible. "I am happy. Happier than I'd never been, so don't worry." He said kissing her hair.

"I love you," Rita said smiling on his skin.

"I love you too. But enough with the heavy feeling conversation this is supposed to be a fun night." Fin said.

"You are right. It's my fault. I'm sorry"

"Not needed."

"How was your day?" She asked, changing the topic of conversation.

"Nice." He said.

"Only nice?"

"They boys and I slept till late, we had breakfast for lunch, and we did the grocery shopping."

"You managed to take the boys to the supermarket," Rita said surprised.

"Yeah. They offered." He said.

"What?"

"They think I can't remember the brands they like." Fin said making her laugh.

"But that is not true." She said pushing herself a little so she could see his face.

"But they don't know," Rita chuckled at his childishness while Fin smirked appreciating the view he was getting now of her naked body she hadn't cared to cover like it was the first time he saw it.

She wasn't stupid to not notice the looks he was giving her. She loved it when he looked at her like that, letting her feel sexy and desired.

"I know something you don't know." Rita was smirking as her fingers played with his chest air.

"Want to share?" He asked.

"That depends." She said biting her lip.

"On what you get?" Rita nodded at his words loving the fact that Fin knew her so well. "And what do you want?" He asked making her lick her lips with anticipation.

"Round two?" She said making him laugh this time.

"I always welcome round two. You don't have to ask." His words made her smirk as she came closer to him to kiss him, but her movements were stopped by his hand on her mouth. "But now you've made me curious. What is it?" He said smirking, loving the fact that he was now calling the shots, and loving the face she made when she saw it too. Despite wanting as much as her their second round, he was more than ok to wait for a little while.

He grinned as he moved to sit resting his back on the bed's headboard, moving Rita with him so she was sitting on his lap.

"Come on, don't pout." He said smirking as he kissed her nose, making her laugh. "Tell me, and I'll give you anything."

"Anything?" She said. "That's a little reckless."

"Not with you babe." Fin said on Rita's lips before kissing her sweetly, and her arms surrounded his neck. He was addicted to her kisses, never getting enough of her, and never wanting to leave her.

"I talked to Ken," Rita said biting her lip. "He and Alejandro will watch the kids until lunch."

"Ohh, good." Fin said smirking.

"Good, indeed." Rita's fingers were already scratching Fin's nape. "What are you going to do about it?" Her lips were just an inch separated from Fin's.

"I don't know babe. I'm pretty tired." Fin murmured. "You might have to do all the work."

"Not a problem," Rita said before kissing him despite the low chuckle it had caused Rita's words on both of them.

This was going to be a fine night, indeed.

...

Amanda

"Come on." Amanda groaned. "What is it?" She asked looking at Sonny for the first time since she had gotten into bed. After enjoying a well deserved day of pampering, girl talk and an amazing dinner she had arrived home to find her baby girl sleeping glued to her man, who was reading a book, on their bed.

It was always a sight to behold, but tonight she was a little nervous. So much that once she had tucked herself into bed, besides her family, she noticed she and Sonny had only exchanged a few words since she had arrived home. She knew she was being childish, feeling so nervous about it. But she had been the one who had wanted to keep it quiet not letting Sonny say a word to anyone despite how excited he was about it, and she had been the one to spill the beans.

But despite being in her own world, trying to set up a good way to tell him, she had noticed that surprisingly she wasn't the only one a little nervous in the room tonight.

"What?" He asked trying to sound normal. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Amanda snorted, using it as a way to delay her news. "That's why you've been all jumpy since I came home?"

"Pot meet kettle," Sonny said making Amanda gasp. She had thought she had been more subtle. "Yes. I'm not stupid." He said a little harshly.

"Hey!" Amanda looked at him. "Why the angry tone?" She asked as quietly as she could, minding her sleeping daughter between them, and carefully watching how he put the book aside and pressed the heels of his hands hard into his eyes, trying to settle his thoughts.

"Sorry. I'm tired." Sonny said grabbing her hand and softly kissed her skin.

"Do I have to worry?" She asked concerned making him laugh.

"No... It's stupid." He said still smiling. "Well..." Sonny bitted his lip with a little concern. "Not stupid just... kind of funny. I know we will laugh in the future when we remember it. "

"Ok."

"Rafael knows," Sonny said not needing more words to her to understand.

"You told him?" Amanda asked. "We agreed to..."

"He guessed." He said before Amanda could berate him anymore. "It's not my fault."

"Sure." She said not believing his words.

"It's the truth." He said making her laugh.

"Your poker face sucks. I still cannot believe how the perps don't see it." It his turn to laugh, until the look on Amanda's face, makes him stop. She's bitting her lip with that sheepishly smile of hers. The same one Jesse bears when she's hiding when she's done something wrong.

"Yes. I know. Thank you for your input." Sonny said making them both chuckle again. "Now. Want to share something?" He asked her without any intention to push her while holding her hand. He didn't want to upset the mood either.

"I feel so stupid right now." Amanda groaned without looking at him.

"What is it?" He asked when Amanda kept looking at her hands.

"The girls know too." She murmured bitting her lip.

"You!" Sonny said. "You tried to make me feel guilty."

"I'm sorry." She tried.

"No, you are not." He said making her laugh. "I'm really hurt. Seriously hurt. Deadly hurt. I want the whole package." He wasn't looking at Amanda while he said those words, looking like he had been truly insulted and affronted.

"Are you going to that to your pregnant woman?"

"She should have thought better before hurting me like this." He said smiling, and Amanda had to stop her chuckles not wanting to wake up Jesse.

"What is going to be this time?" She asked finally with false exasperation. After their first couple of fights, they had decided that apart from the make-up sex, the guilty one had to buy dinner to the other and do something per they request.

"What about the Thai place near the precinct?" Sonny offered.

"It doesn't sound bad."

"And I want a full back massage, and by that, I mean with the overpriced massage oil you have hidden."

"Fine by me, but I want a foot rub after that," Amanda said trying her luck.

"That is not in the deal," Sonny said remembering the night they had come up with their deal.

"But my feet are sore," Amanda said making Sonny's eyebrows go to his hairline in disbelief.

"Is not a little too soon for that?" He asked alluding to her pregnancy.

"Never," She said making him chuckle this time.

"That's not fair."

"Please, please, pretty please..." Amanda winced.

"Ok, ok. I'll do it." He couldn't say no to her. "But I want to know how they got the news."

"Oh! Well... the spa offered us champagne." Amanda said.

"Oh!"

"Oh! Indeed. It took them less than a minute to start screaming that I was pregnant." They had been so excited, and with them know she had been able to relax properly. "The two of them didn't even let me use a shitty excuse."

"Well..."

"I hate desk work," Amanda complained.

"But..." Sonny's face said what he wasn't able to articulate. The thought of Amanda hurt was enough to give him nightmares, but now being pregnant, he was terrified.

"I know honey." She said squeezing his hand. "But desk work is the worst."

"That is true." He said making her smile. It amazed him how sometimes words weren't needed between them.

"Now, how about we get some sleep. Because I have the feeling this one is going to be up bright and early." She said looking at her daughter.

"I agree."

"Good then. " Amanda said as they both laid properly on the bed. "Good night honey."

"Good night. Love you."

"Me too."

...

Olivia

The house was silent as she crossed the threshold of her home. It wasn't anything unexpected. Rita had persuaded her and Amanda to have a few more hours of girl time, enjoying a good dinner and a few drinks, and she was arriving home considerably later than she had expected. She had been a little reticent to spend a whole day at a spa, not because of the company, but because she didn't like to leave Rafael alone. But after his reassurances, despite his fears, and the playdate, she and Amanda arranged it had been easier to let herself be pampered by the staff of the spa.

And what a day she had.

She had barely remembered to look at the phone. Becoming a pool of goo after the treatments, and laughing so much with Rita's crude comments and Amanda's intelligent humor. The three of them had been having so much fun that a dinner worthy of a king had been the next stop.

And now she wanted her man. She wasn't drunk. After her mother's treatments, she had promised herself she would never be drunk if she had to be with her kids. But the heat coming from her lower belly, the tingle from her rosy cheeks, and the sloppy smile on her face were welcomed tonight.

She was horny, like a teenager in the first months of their sexual awakening. Maybe she would be ashamed of her behavior in the morning, once the alcohol was no longer in her body, but tonight was a different story. Rita's comments had put images on her mind, that had her bite her lips all through dinner, and she still had them between her teeth as she walked through her home looking for Rafael.

It didn't take her long to find him. The house is not that big. After checking Sarah's room seeing the sleeping toddler in her crib, she found him in the boy's room, sharing Noah's bed while Graham slept in his and the chosen book for the night laid open on the floor.

The kids were clean and sleeping peacefully, but Rafael was a mess. A beautiful mess of tousled hair and messy stubble with a pool of drool on the pillow, with wrinkled clothes and unknown stains on his t-shirt. But she loved it.

"Rafa." Olivia murmured as she came closer to Rafael. "Rafa," Olivia tried again carefully, cupping Rafael's jaw. Her thumb brushing over Rafael's cheekbone, stroking tenderly the skin. Trying to wake him up gently.

"Mmmm..." He murmured. "Five more minutes." He said as he hugged Noah closer to his chest, making Olivia laugh.

"My love, you are going to fall." She advertised him, making him open his eyes.

"Hey," Rafael murmured smiling, once he had focused his sight on her.

"Hey," Olivia chuckled.

"How was your day?" Rafael asked as he woke up and covered Noah with the quilt.

"Good." She said smiling. "I'm all relaxed and recharged. And yours?"

"Good..." He said. "A nightmare..." He murmured. "At critical moments, but a good one," Rafael said remembering their adventures at the zoo as they walked towards their bedroom. "And did you know..." Rafael stopped abruptly as the t-shirt he was wearing touched the dirty laundry hamper. The plan had been that he would keep his mouth closed until tomorrow giving Sonny some time to talk to Amanda. And there he was, not barely fifteen minutes since Olivia had arrived and he had almost spilled the beans.

"What is it, Rafa?" Olivia asked leaving the bathroom not having seen Rafael's face.

"Nothing." He said as he kept undressing himself to sleep.

"Nothing?" Olivia asked, her brow already settled on her forehead. Despite wanting to climb Rafael like a tree and ravish him, she felt like he was keeping something from her, and she didn't like it. "Ok." She said without looking at him directly.

Using the mirror in the room while she undressed, she saw him taking real care pushing the covers so they could climb inside.

"Rafa." She called him, making him look at her. She was biting her lip when she heard him groan. She wasn't wearing anything particularly revealing, it was a baby blue silk set of lingerie with lace in the borders, but she had chosen one of Rafael's favorites. And she knew it, loving the way his face slowly put this complex expression of him when he saw her wearing them. To her, it always was a mix of arousal, disbelieving, wonder and love. "Are you sure it was nothing?" She asked. "You know you can tell me anything."

She knew she wasn't being fair, but she wanted to know what he was hiding. And the fact that he hadn't seemed really worried or particularly serious when she had come home had been the last push she needed to put her plan in motion.

"Amanda is pregnant," Rafael mumbled finally breathing fully.

"Oh!" Olivia smirked. "Wait," She said looking at him suspiciously. "Were you going to keep it to yourself?" She asked smirking enjoying having him squirming under her glance.

"No..." He mumbled. "Yes..." He was looking at Olivia smiling. "Only until tomorrow?" He said biting his lip, watching Olivia's poker face until the sides of her lips started to go up. Letting him see she was having trouble to hide her smirk. "Wait..." He said. "You don't seem surprised. Why? Did you know?" He asked. "Olivia..." He said after not getting any more answer that her smirk, this time full on display. "You knew!" He said after connecting the dots. "You knew it, and you were going to keep it to yourself!" He said not truly feeling the anger until they were both laughing.

"Only for a few days," Olivia said sheepishly while she tried to go away.

"No way," Rafael said as he stopped her putting her hands on her hips. The skin to skin contact giving him tingles in his hands. "Come here, señorita (missy)." Rafael flushed Olivia to his chest, so they were back to chest, skin to skin. "I think you own me."

"Me?" Olivia said enjoying the way he was holding her. "And what about you?"

"I wasn't the one having zero problems with no sharing," Rafael said as his hands moved towards Olivia's tights.

"And that puts me in the owning list?" Olivia asked moving her body and feeling she wasn't the only one aroused in the room by their closeness and their touches.

"I think so." His breath was touching her neck as the words slipped from his mouth.

"What about a deal?" She offered, pushing her body to his, making him groan.

"I'm all ears," Rafael said as his teeth scraped her neck.

"A mutually beneficial deal." Olivia managed to say under Rafael's ministrations.

"Mmmm..." He murmured not leaving her neck.

"The bed..." She sighed as she clasped Rafael's hands whose fingertips were under the waistband of her panties. "We need the bed."

"Deal." He said as he pushed her towards said furniture.


	37. Chapter 37

_Hello there!_

 _Here's another update. I hope you'll like it and I'm already waiting for your reviews._

 _Thank you all for your support!_

 _Lyssa813 another amazing beta-reading ;P!_

* * *

 _Defeated._

She loved her work. It was a draining job, that was a given, but it gave her the sense that she was doing something good. At the same time, it was the reason that she had to leave her family at the park today when a call had come and part of her hated herself for that.

It had only been one week since they had gotten back to work, and she had already been called to work on her free weekend. And she really hated it.

After a full week of work they had planned a quiet day at the park to enjoy the sunny day, and instead, she had left Rafael alone with the three kids for an unknown amount of time. She trusted him with her life, but three kids so close in age could be a menace for anyone.

At least, she had been able to leave the precinct sooner than she had thought. In the end, the case hadn't been as political mediatic as they had thought, and she had been able to leave the rest of the work to her fellow officers.

But instead of going home, she found herself climbing the stairs to Rafael's office. After checking her phone for the first time in a couple of hours, she had found a few silly photos of Rafael and the kids and a few awkward messages that made her change her direction.

And as she climbed the stairs wondering what was she going to discover, she crossed paths with someone she hadn't thought she would find.

"Carmen." She called the other woman.

"Lieutenant." She greeted Olivia with a tired smile on her face.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Mr. Barba didn't tell you anything?" Carmen said surprised.

"I got a few weird texts from him a few hours ago, and now I'm here," Olivia said making the other woman smirk. "But I still don't know why."

"The pipes of the fourth-floor bathrooms broke this morning, and there was water everywhere. And while they were trying to fix it, the water went to the third floor, and the offices were a mess." She explained to Olivia. "Mr. Barba's office was one of the worst, so they called to ask if there was important paperwork lost. In the end, it was easier to come here and look at it ourselves in case it got worse."

"God," Olivia said, thinking of how she had left Rafael alone with the kids at the park for the first time since Graham and Sarah had been adopted, and how he had begged her to stay with him. "Now I understand the one about coming to the office." Olivia murmured. "Poor Rafael. He brought the kids."

"Yes," Carmen said, making Olivia chuckle, it was better than cry.

"Did they give you much trouble?" She asked dreading the answer.

"They behaved quite well but hunger and tiredness can put quite a strain," She said. Olivia got the vibe she wasn't only referring to the kids.

"Now I understand the last text." Olivia murmured making Carmen look at her questioningly. "Rafa's words were; I'll always love you. I forgive you. I did it the best I could, but they won. I've been defeated." She had kept them in her mind, curious about what they really meant. Apparently to Carmen, they made some kind of sense, because once Olivia had said them out loud, she had started to laugh earnestly. "Do I have to worry?"

"Not much." She said. "Mr. Barba has an affinity for the drama." Carmen tried to be polite, but both women knew about Rafael's dramatic outbursts.

"He and the kids are in a workroom. Third floor, first hallway to the left and it's the last door to the left. It's one of these images worth a thousand words." Carmen said a bit cryptically, but the smile on her face let Olivia know there was nothing wrong.

"Ok."

"I'll keep going. I want to leave as soon as I can."

"I can imagine.

"Have a good day."

"You too," Olivia said as she had started to climb the stairs up again, wanting to know what she was going to see once she arrived where Carmen had directed her.

...

The first thing she noticed was the mess scattered around most of the room. She could easily see the toys they had brought spread on the floor and the rest of what probably had been their lunch on the coffee table beside the couch where her sons were currently sleeping using Rafael's hoodie as a blanket. And not far away she saw her daughter sleeping in the stroller.

"Hey," Rafael's voice coming from the other side of the room caught her attention, making her look away from their kids.

"Hey," She said looking at him. He was sitting in an armchair looking a little tired, and a bit too serious to her liking.

"You managed to escape." He said.

"Yes, it wasn't as bad as they thought." Olivia slowly walked towards him, and Rafael quickly clasped her hand and pushed her to sit in his lap. Easily his arms surrounded her waist flushing her against his chest.

"Missed you."

"Me too." She said kissing his hair. "I'm sorry for leaving you alone." Despite it hadn't been her fault, she still felt bad for having to go to work.

"Don't worry." He said smiling on her arm. "We had a good time." Rafael's voice was a little too plain despite the happy thought he was supposed to be projecting.

"Something wrong?" Olivia asked not moving from their hug.

"Are we doing it right, Liv?" Rafael asked out of the blue.

"What?" Olivia didn't want to make any assumptions in his words.

"It's just... look," He started. "We've been only working again for a week, and here we are, dragged to work during our first weekend off."

"Rafa..." She murmured.

"It's just... you texted me after they fell asleep, and I was too tired to go home, and I was sitting here thinking..."

"And there is the problem." She said trying to lighten the mood up a bit.

"Wow..." He said smirking while looking at her. "Good to know you care so much."

"It's not like that Rafa." Olivia kissed his forehead. "And you know it."

"Sure."

"Rafa, come on." Olivia's pout could make him give her anything she wanted. "When you are tired, you overthink, and it's usually a bad thing. And don't growl at me." She said after feeling Rafael's grumble. "I know we don't have the easiest jobs, and that we don't get to spend as much time as we want with the kids. But look at them. They are clean, healthy, well clothed, well fed, and the most important thing, they are happy."

Rafael knew she was right, but his worries were always there.

"I know, but..." He murmured.

"I'm afraid too. Well, more like terrified. Almost all the time." She murmured, not because she didn't want to wake up the kids, but because it's the first time she said it out loud in front of anyone.

"Liv," His voice is strained.

"Don't. Don't say you are sorry." He stayed silent. She knows perfectly how his mind works. Sometimes it still feels a little too weird. "I haven't said it before because I didn't feel the need to do it. So we are fine. Ok?"

"Ok." She was in her bossy mode, and Rafael knew it wasn't the right moment to be sassy.

"Even it has come to my head the idea of retirement." She confessed. "I worry that we're not doing enough, that we are gone too much and tons of other things. But we are trying to do our best, and that's what matters. And we are not alone, we have your mother, and Lucy and the whole squad. Don't you think so?"

"You are a wise woman," Rafael said caressing her cheek.

"And you better never forget it." She said smirking. "And the best part of all this is that we are talking about it." After their last time, they both learned the importance of an earnest talk. "So, thank you for confiding in me." She said with a watery smile.

"You are welcomed," Rafael said

"And let's talk about other things because if not I'm going to start crying and then you'll start crying, and it's going to be a mess."

"Ok, mi amor (My love)" Rafael said with his own watery smile, gently bringing closer their faces and kiss her lips. "Te amo."

"Love you too." She said on his lips, while her hands messed up his hair. "It's gotten long. You should get it cut. You could take the boys with you. They could use one too." She offered, but the two of them knew it was more like a gentle order.

"Mama!" Sarah called her surprising them both. They hadn't known their youngest had woken up from her nap.

"Hello, sweetie," Olivia said looking at the smiling little girl as she went towards her to pick her up and kiss her rosy cheeks. She had missed them all like crazy. "Did you have a good time with papi?" She asked her making her laugh. "Don't get too comfortable honey, once we get home there's bath time for all of us," Olivia said without looking at him, still too concentrated on her baby.

"You want to kill me." He groaned, but the smile didn't leave his face as he looked at her girls.

"Not yet, maybe in a few years, when the kids are older." She said laughing at his face. It wasn't every day she managed to leave him speechless, although she was close to mastering his sassy mouth.

"You are a menace señorita (missy)." He growled at her ear once he had his arms around her hips from behind, his face resting on her shoulder giving him the perfect spot to make funny faces at his daughter. "And I hope you know how lucky you are. If it wasn't for your looks and how much I love you my revenge would be brutal."

"If you say so, counselor." She said looking at him with her wide, and innocent brown eyes just before she smacked his ass. "And now, go wake up the boys." She wasn't even trying to hide her laugh at the unmanly indignant cry that followed him until he kneeled beside the couch.

Rafael knew he should be a little mad at her behavior towards him, but he loves the way she can make him feel safe and happy. He loves their carefree intimacy and friendship, and the way she makes him feel that together they could face it all.


	38. Chapter 38

_Hello there!_

 _Here's is this week chapter. I hope you'll like it and I'm already waiting for your opinions! Thank you all for your support and Lyssa813 for your beta-reading!_

 _Thank you all!_

* * *

 _Sight._

It had been a strangled noise that interrupted the game in the room. Rafael had barely caught a glimpse of his wife's face before the kids were hugging her legs and cheerfully welcoming her. He had been so deep in the game they had been playing with the kids' happy screams that he hadn't heard her come home.

He was about to say something too, but Olivia's eyes stopped his words in his mouth. Her cheeks were blushing. Her lips had an inch of space between them. And he would bet all his money that if he could see her pupils, they were enlarged. He had observed that face many times before. And he didn't need a genius mind to know what was happening. Knowing that if the kids hadn't been with them, he would have heard her sigh.

"Hey," Rafael said smirking. She was aroused, they both knew it. But it was an unusual situation, but not an unwelcome thing. The first times she had spotted him like he was right now, with the kids, he had seen a similar face. However, after a few months, she had mastered the control of her facial expression. He could still see it in her eyes, but it wasn't that obvious anymore. And there was only one thing that was different, or more precisely new.

He had thought she had seen it earlier in the day when he had stopped by her office to have a quick lunch together, but he had been wrong.

"Hey," She murmured, after greeting the kids.

"Everything alright?" Rafael asked, very much enjoying the embarrassed flush on her face and the surprise in her eyes.

"Mmm," Olivia nodded, not taking away her eyes from Rafael's face.

"Dinner is ready, we were waiting for you," Rafael said trying to keep his laugh at bay.

"Ok.." Olivia murmured bitting her lips. "I'll... I'll..."

"Go change?" He offered.

"Yeah." She said still blushing as she woke up, and started to go to their bedroom barely missing the wall.

And it turned out to be the last push he needed to lose his battle with laughter, and for a loud chuckle escaped his mouth. He didn't know Olivia had a thing for glasses, but sure he was going to have a bit of fun tonight.

And as he prepared the table, he kept thinking how they had gotten in this moment.

For the first moment, they had started their relationship he had known his chances to hide something from her would be practically zero. Well, sure they had gone away once they had started to be real friends but living with someone that worked on the police force and on top of that with someone who knew him most of the time better than himself, had its cons. But he had attempted anyways, and this time he had succeeded. Mostly.

He hadn't cared to properly hide how slowly and insidiously his eyes were starting to mix and to make a blur of the words he was supposed to read. A fact that happened with more frequency and with more ease as the time passed. It was mostly at night when he was tired after putting the kids to sleep, and he still had paperwork to go through, and he didn't have the strength to hide how difficult it could be to him to read the papers stacked on his nightstand.

In his defense, she hadn't chosen the best moment to bring it out (the day after Noah had asked why his hair was turning grey), hence his not loving answer to her gentle approach. A few hours later, once they had been in bed, she had tried to appease him saying that even when they were aging (it was life), he was doing it handsomely like his beloved scotch. But when she had tried to sneakily bring up the glasses problem again, not even her kisses and her loving comments of how much she loved his graying hair had been enough to keep his sulking at bay.

If he thought about it now, he knew he had behaved like a little kid, but his pride had taken the best of him. And it had also been the reason he had gone alone to the ophthalmologist, not wanting to hear Olivia's I told you so.

Between conversations and actions, a week had passed upon them, and she hadn't caught him. Hence his smugness and her surprise.

…

Olivia was staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She had finished her nightly routine a few minutes ago, but she couldn't stop looking at her blushing cheeks as she tried to use one of these breathing techniques that were supposed to be a calming method. Rafael had been teasing her the whole time, and if his image wearing his stupid glasses wasn't enough, knowing he was already sitting on their bed, still wearing them, was making it much worse.

A few nights ago they had a nasty confrontation after she had picked the wrong moment to voice a little concern she had, had for a while. With the help of a bruised ego, his dismissal had been swift and brutal letting her think he would do nothing about it. But she couldn't have been more wrong, and it had only taken her a glimpse of him at the precinct to know she was going to regret it.

The first sight she had a caught had been through the window of her office while she was talking with Amanda. He was supposed to bring lunch for the both of them, and before coming to her office, he had stopped for a quick chat with the guys. Rafael was wearing one of his suits with something new, a pair of black glasses with a bit of dark green on the sides. They weren't fancy or flashy, but the did wonders on his face, not that he needed it. Just one second had been enough to be under the spell. And she had fallen so hard that when Amanda shook her shoulder to gather her attention she had almost spilled her drink on top of the paperwork she had spread on her table.

When Rafael had knocked on her office door, the glasses weren't visible, and she hadn't asked. Once Rafael had left, and the work built up she had all but forgotten. Her luck, however, hadn't had any plan to stick up for her as she had barely arrived home when she had met with those glasses, and his stupid face wearing the glasses. And to make matters worse, she had scarcely escaped a meeting with the floor after stumbling with one of the toys the kids had been playing with.

He had been wearing a plain white t-shirt and jeans (she still didn't know how he could make a plain t-shirt and jeans look so good), and when she had spotted the damn glasses, her mind went into overdrive.

And if that first sight of him hadn't been enough, she didn't know if she had wanted to yell at him or kiss him while they ate dinner. He kept his amused tinny smirk on his face and a gleam of cockiness in his eyes while he played with the glasses. And she still didn't know what to do.

It took her a few more deep breaths before she was able to open the door.

"Hey," He said once she had gathered the courage to leave the bathroom, and her eyes got fixed again on the glasses, making Rafael grin again.

"Stop it," Olivia said from her spot between the bathroom door and their bed.

"What?" Rafael asked eyebrows up with surprise.

"You know what."

"No, I don't," The mischief in his eyes made her skin tingle with anticipation.

"Haven't you had enough playing tonight?" Olivia asked a little exasperated.

"I'm not playing."

"Then what are you doing?"

"Research." He said without giving any other explanation. And Olivia watched him put some papers on the nightstand before he slowly stood up and walked towards her until their bodies were only a few inches apart, and she had to fight the instinct to take a step back. "I didn't know you had a thing for glasses," Rafael said breaking the silence in the room. He wasn't touching her, but she could feel his warmth. "We aren't supposed to keep secrets between us."

"It wasn't a secret."

"Then what was it?"

"Something I didn't know." Olivia murmured keeping a tight watch on Rafael's movements.

"Mmmm..." He murmured. "So you do find me sexy."

"Don't be so cocky." She said gathering a bit of strength, smirking at Rafael's words.

"Why? Are you going to punish me?" He said corralling Olivia against the closed door of the bathroom.

"Maybe."

"How?" He asked huskily, making Olivia look at him not knowing if he was messing with her or if she had spotted a hidden desire.

"Maybe if you were tied up, your smartass mouth wouldn't cause you so many problems," Olivia said watching how he bitted his lip and groaned before kissing her hard on the lips, softly biting the flesh available. "Wait." She murmured making him stop. "Do you want me to tie you up?" She asked surprised.

"Why not?" He said with evident arousal in his eyes. But while those words had brought him sexy images, to her, they had brought past nightmares she didn't want to remember. To her being tied up didn't have good feelings linked. "Shit!" She heard Rafael mutter. "Sorry!" Olivia felt how his arms slowly hugged her, giving her the chance to pull back if she wanted to. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think."

For a few seconds, neither of them had thought about it. And now Rafael only wanted to smash his head on the wall for his stupid mouth.

"Liv," He called her kissing her head. "Are you ok?" She felt her nod. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok." She murmured. "It was me who brought it up."

"It's not ok." He said trying to give her as much comfort as he could.

"It is, Rafa," She said as her head came up to look at him in the eyes. "It doesn't bring me good memories, but we should be able to talk about things like this. It just caught me by surprise."

"I'm sorry." He said again feeling like a stupid.

"And I forgive you." She said knowing he wouldn't stop until he heard those words. "But do you honestly want me to do that to you?" She asked, keeping her body between his arms.

"It's just when you brought it up, I imagined you on top of me, and..." He murmured. "It was hot." He said making Olivia smile, despite the previous feelings she had felt. "But only if you are ok with it. It doesn't have to be tonight, or tomorrow, you can think about it. And I would prefer if we had the night to ourselves." He rambled. He had never thought about doing something like this, but the image that had popped into his mind got him all riled up.

"You truly want it." She said still surprised.

"Kind of?"

"I don't know." She murmured.

"Think about it as much as you want. Ok?"

"Ok."

"I could keep my glasses on." He offered to make her laugh.

"Yeah, I'm still mad at you about this," She said smirking.

"What did I do?" He asked feigning innocence.

"Don't try to look all innocent. First, you don't tell me anything about it. And then, you spend all the afternoon playing with them." She said poking him between the ribs, making him flinch and try to get away from her touch.

"Well then, punish me." He said as he softly bit her jaw. "But, please, this time, bite the pillow or something else. Your mark was on my skin for at least a week."

"You love my branding," Olivia said making him chuckle.

"But not when I have to explain to our kids why it's not fine to bite other people when I have yours on my skin." It was Olivia's turn to chuckle.

"Good point my love." She said kissing his lips as his hands pulled up her shirt. "But I can't make any promises."

"It's a start."


	39. Chapter 39

Hello there!

I'm sorry for not updating sooner this story. At least this one is a bit longer than the usual. I hope you'll like it, and that I'll hear from all of you soon.

Thank you all for your support and to Lyssa813 for her beta-reading!

And to answer the guest reviews:

-Thank you all, in general, I love them, I can't send you an e-mail to do it more specifically.

-BJ thank you for comment the story from the beginning!

-And to the guest on from chapter 22, I know Olivia knows Spanish. But I kind of like the idea of Rafael teasing her when she doesn't know the language, so I decided to go this way in this story. :D

* * *

Enchanted.

Lucia

"Here son." His mother's voice made him look to his side instead of his front.

"Mmm..." He mumbled not understanding his mother's words.

"For the drool." She said smirking at the same time she put a handkerchief in his hand.

"How funny."

"Just telling the truth." Despite his usual cocky bravado, he felt a little embarrassed at being caught stalking his wife's actions with the boys, even when it had been his own mother who caught him.

Olivia had this power over Rafael. She'd had it since the first day they were introduced by Capitan Harris. She alone could turn him into a puppet. But if the kids were in the mix as well… he would melt at the sight of them interacting.

They were at his mother's place to have dinner, and Olivia was sitting on the floor playing with the boys while Rafael sat on the couch watching them. He had been so focused he hadn't heard his mother come and put his baby girl on the floor next to them.

"I'm so happy you found her." His mother said.

"Mami," He would always call her that despite how old he was.

"Lo se (I know). Te lo he dicho muchas veces, pero es la verdad (I've told you many times, but it's the truth)" His mother stopped him before he could say anything more. "Although, it's funny to see how she has you wrapped around her little finger. Her and the kids."

"That's not..."

"Try again, mijo." She said smirking, and he had to smile at his mother's words.

"She's an amazing mom." There was no way to reject his mother's words, so a change of subject is not a bad plan.

"She is. And so are you."

"Mami..."

"You are. It's a fact. Don't try to say any other stupid thing." His mother said grabbing his hand and squeezing it between hers.

"Ok."

"You've always been a good boy."

"Mami!" He said making her laugh.

"I found this the other day."

It's an old photograph, a little-crumpled on its sides from not being kept in an album or a frame. He's sitting on his abuelita's lap. And if he remembers correctly, it's the day of his 6th birthday, the day she gave him the medal he still wears around his neck.

"You should keep it."

"Thank you," Rafael said trying to keep his tears at bay. His abuelita passing is still a sore subject.

"I thought I could buy the same one and give them to the kids for Christmas." His mother suggests.

"I... That would be great mami." He said as he grabbed her by her shoulders to give her a one arm hug. "I love the idea. And I'm sure Olivia will love it too." Neither of them said anything more as they kept watching Olivia and the kids, now joined by a crawling Sarah. Enjoying the afternoon, despite both still feeling the loss of an important member of their family.

…

Lucy

He was trying to keep some sort of order in the room, picking up some forgotten toys to put in the toy box. The same one no one, apart from him, had managed to properly use in this house.

It was at the exact same moment when he was grabbing Graham's puzzle when he heard it.

Since they had adopted Graham and Sarah, Noah had been thrilled by having two new siblings. But one of the things that had really had him mesmerized was seeing Sarah getting fed her bottle. He always had a new question about, and the few times he had asked to do it himself they hadn't let him. It wasn't that they didn't want him to do it, but they were concerned. Noah was still small.

But today had been his lucky day because it seemed like he had made some sort of deal with Olivia and he was now helping her giving the bottle to his little sister.

He was sitting flushed to his mother right side, almost sitting on her lap while Olivia had Sarah's head resting on her left arm, and Noah was holding with her the bottle so his sister could feed while he chatted with his mother. It was marvelous and joyous, and... a lot of other adjectives he wasn't able to think of.

He didn't know how long he stared at them until Lucy's voice penetrated his skull.

"Rafa!" The younger woman called him. After so much time spent together, he had managed to convince her to call him that. It took him a few seconds to tear his glance from them, but it only took him a second after seeing Lucy's smirk to know he had been caught, and the blush covered his cheeks. By her looks, it seemed like she had been calling him for a while. "Care to help, the lasagna is done." He nodded, but he didn't move an inch. "You should come to the kitchen to help, don't you think?"

"Yeah," It took him a few seconds more, his eyes moved to look at them just one more time while he heard the younger woman laugh as she moved through the kitchen. He wasn't going to hear the end of it, but he was happy.

…

Mike

After a quick lunch, they had decided to go to the park. Lately, the weather hadn't been the best and if the weather report on the news was right, it wasn't going to get better in the next few days. So, afternoon at the park was an easy decision, and if it started to rain again, they were close to home.

The surprise of the afternoon had been Mike and Casey. The couple had decided to tag along with them a get a little practice with the kids.

The past year hadn't been the best one for them, and seeing them now was heartwarming. Seeing your husband being shot twice in such a short period of time would put a strain on any couple. But they had recovered, and now they were expanding their family waiting for two baby girls through a surrogacy agency.

He was sitting with the couple, closer to the sandbox playing with his youngest kids while Olivia had gone with Noah to the other side of the park for a little while.

"Oh!" Casey said.

"What is it?" The other two adults asked curiously.

"That." He said signaling where Olivia and Noah were supposed to be.

At first, it didn't look unusual, just Olivia talking to another mom while she held Noah's hand, but if you looked more carefully you could see the tense lines covering both women body, and the harsh way Olivia seemed to be talking, despite not being able to hear what she was saying.

It didn't seem like it was going to escalate, but sure it looked like Olivia was giving the other woman a good piece of her mind.

"Are you not going over there?" Casey asked. He was the only one who hadn't seen Olivia like this before.

"No, no... I'm not that stupid." He said smirking not allowing his glance to leave his wife. "She's in mama-bear mode, I assume after the other kid was being mean to Noah and his mother not doing anything about it. And you don't interfere with a mama-bear mode."

"You like it?!" The two other men looked at him a little confused, making him flush a little bit.

"Maybe?" It was a lie. He loved it. Seeing her protect their kids so fearlessly made his chest grumble with pleasure.

"God Rafael," Mike said laughing. "You've got it really bad."

"You say that now, but wait a few months, and put your twins in the picture. You'll understand what I'm talking about."

"I didn't know fatherhood turned you that crazy." They were messing with him shamelessly.

"Haha, how fun." He sounded mad, but the smirk on his face wasn't. "Yes, I might be crazy but mark my words. You'll see it in a few months. And then I'll enjoy telling you I told you so." Rafael assured him still smirking as Olivia came back with a little red-eyed Noah in her arms.

…

Rafael (I)

After starting to work again, they had made a pact. To be at home as soon as they could, even if they had to bring their paperwork home, neither of them was stupid enough to not foresee it and learn to rely more on their subordinates.

It had been a good plan, on paper but in reality, it had its flaws. One of them was tonight. Liv was coming home late, and after feeding the kids and himself they were watching a bit of TV before they went to bed when they heard her opening the door.

He didn't have time to stop Noah jumping from the couch before he launched himself into her arms only giving her a few seconds to throw her things on the closest chair. At least he called her giving her the heads that he was coming. The next thing he sees it's his son's feet in the air as she swings him around before settling him on her hip.

"What a welcome!" She exclaimed happily. "How was your day sweet boy?"

"Daddy made us eat vegetables!" He complained, using his big brown eyes to let her see his pain.

"But you like vegetables." That is true.

"Eggplant mommy! Eggplant!" The little boy complained about making the adults laugh.

"Oh my God!" She followed him. "He's such a monster!" Olivia exclaimed making Rafael chuckle. God, he had it bad. Every time he saw her interacting with the kids, he felt his heart burst with pride and love.

"The baddest!" Neither Olivia or Rafael tried to correct him, too amused by his words.

"Don't worry honey, yours is in the oven," Rafael said smirking. For an unknown reason, neither of them could explain why, both Noah and Olivia had a difficult relationship with said vegetable. But a parent always preaches by the example.

"Thank you, honey," He knew her smile was untruthful, and that he was going to pay his smugness, but he was loving every second of it.

…

David Haden

They were at the zoo again, he almost already knew the park by heart but the smile the kids got every time they went there was enough for him to put into spending another day there. And today there was some special experience day for the kids, where they got to interact with different animals.

He was supposed to be there with his family, but Sarah had gotten scared of the biggest animals, and he had gotten them out of the enclosure not going far enough to not be able to see Olivia and the boys and keep sharing the experience with them in some other way. And at the same time, keep an eye if she needed help if the boys started to want different things, while he chatted with her daughter about the animals while holding her in his arms.

"Barba?" A male voice made him look away from them, and he saw a dark haired man, taller than him that he hadn't seen in a long time.

"David Haden." He said surprised to find the, man, here. "How long has it been?" He asked as he pulled his hand to give the other man a handshake. "Five years?"

"More or less." He said smiling.

"What brings you here?" Rafael asked. "Have you got settled too?" He was curious, the last memory he had of the other lawyer was the same he had of himself five years back. They couldn't had been further away from getting settled.

"Not yet." He said. "I came to visit my family and they dragged me here."

"Oh!" Rafael murmured.

"My sister has great persuasion skills, and her kids had inherited them." He said making them both smile.

"I can imagine."

He had thought, after Olivia told him their story, that if someday they crossed paths he would feel jealous or angry, but surprisingly those feelings weren't coming. Maybe it was because if he hadn't left he and Olivia wouldn't be where they were now.

"I heard the rumors." He murmured. "Of you and Olivia." He said having spotted her with the boys. They were petting a goat now. "But seeing it, it's a bit different."

"Yeah," Rafael said blushing a little bit, remembering those first weeks after their relationship became public. "We made a bit of stir."

"I got scared." David murmured. "I wasn't brave enough, and I lost her. I think I'm always going to regret it." He said leaving Rafael without knowing what to say. It's not every day one of your wife's exes tells you something like the man had just said to him, and he didn't know if he should be feeling some kind of jealousy now. "She's looking..."

"Gorgeous?" Rafael ended the sentence for him making him chuckle.

"I was going to say good, but the other one works too. I didn't know if you would appreciate me saying it." Both men were smiling now.

"It suits her. Motherhood."

"Yeah, I know," Rafael said. "Although I might be seriously biased."

"I can understand that she can be intense."

"Yeah." Rafael smiled at the other man's words loving that intensity he had described. The same one she keeps throwing at him every single day of their lives. "Should I feel threatened?" He asked jokingly.

"No, no." The other man smiles.

"Good," Rafael said trying not to let out how relieved he feels in truth. "You want to talk to her?" He asked after Sarah had started to squirm in his arms, not pleased by her father lack of attention.

"I don't want to disturb her. And I think my family is ready to go to the next one." He said looking at the other side of the enclosure.

"Oh, ok."

"It was nice to see you." Haden bid him farewell as he quickly walks away. Leaving Rafael not knowing what had really happened in the last few minutes.

…

Rafael (II)

He knew he should be doing something, that the honorable thing to do would be to help her. Even if the only reason was just because he didn't want it to bite him in the ass later, however he was just too amused to move his body an inch from where he was sitting on the floor.

Sarah had been the first one to wake up from her nap. While the two of them were playing with a few plastic blocks, the boys had come from their room already throwing a temper tantrum. It was unusual to see them like this, but throw-in post-nap sleepy crankiness and two different personalities, and things happened.

It was amazing how people so little could already have personalities so marked and different, because while Noah was always ready to start running, Graham preferred calm things like reading, especially when he was still sleepy. Thus why Olivia was kneeling between them trying to settle the temper tantrum with a compromise, but she didn't look like she was succeeding.

And God if she was so beautiful. She wasn't wearing anything special, just a pair of yoga pants and one of his sweatshirts, her hair was messy, and she wore no makeup. She was perfect.

He stood there looking at them until Olivia's pleading eyes glanced at him, silently yelling for help, and making him chuckle. Without saying anything to her, he walked towards the hall wardrobe and grabbed a big bag he had hidden a few days prior, making Olivia look at him suspiciously.

He knew it wasn't the best way to stop the boys' tantrum, at the end he was rewarding them for their misbehavior but he would be lying if he wasn't dying to use what he had bought.

"Niños! (Boys!)" He called them, making all of them look at him. "The best idea ever," he said as he started to unpack his surprise. "Washable non-toxic paint to do some hand painting," he said seeing how the boy's eyes couldn't be bigger. "I have everything we need. Different colors, tons of paper, plastics to cover the furniture and the floor, and it's for all of us." He said letting Olivia know Sarah could use it too.

Quickly the boys took away the things he was holding in his hands shrieking with happiness and forgetting their previous argument while Olivia came to him in a more sedated step, putting her hands on his cheeks and giving him a noisy peck on his lips.

"My knight in shining armor." She said making them both chuckle.

"Does that mean I get a reward?" He asked cockily.

"Maybe."

"On what?"

"On what you do with that paint. I don't trust you and the boys. You three could easily end up in a paint war." She said as she went to the boys to see what Rafael had bought.

"Mi amor, (My love,) you have the best ideas." He said chuckling, and Olivia only groaned at his husband antics.


	40. Chapter 40

_Hello there! Here's the next one. I love hearing your opinions about the story, and the support it had gathered._

 _Thank you to Lyssa813 for your beta-reading!_

* * *

 _Curiosity._

"Rafa..." Olivia said breathlessly. "Wait... Stop." She said as she pushed him with her hands on his chest.

"What is it?" Rafael asked surprised, not knowing what was happening. Until now everything had been fine. He had arrived home to find that the kids were away with his mother, and Olivia was waiting for him wearing only one of his shirts and her underwear. Knowing perfectly what that sight of her did to him. He had only managed to drop his stuff by the door before she had jumped on him and dragged them both to their bedroom. They were on their bed now, and Olivia was laying under him panting and blushing. "Something wrong?" He asked looking at her with concern in his eyes, not knowing if he had been too hard or too enthusiastic in his advances. These past few weeks had been a little too draining, and it had been too long since the last time they had managed an afternoon alone together kid free. And while she had been the one who had climbed him like a tree, the little voice in his head was always afraid to do something it would get her a flashback of William Lewis.

Years ago he would have felt a Little exposed. Having a moment like this where Olivia had managed to leave him only with his underwear while his only achievement had been to unbutton the shirt she was wearing. But they were far beyond that.

"No...no," Olivia said looking at his skeptical face. "Everything it's fine. It's just..." She said biting her lip. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Now?" He asked and saw her nod with her lip still between her teeth. "That's not the image you gave me." Rafael was smiling seeing her neck blush with her face.

"Rafa!" She said chuckling, making Rafael laugh too as he moved from on top of her to lie next to her. A little space between them always was a good thing for conversations. But Olivia didn't let him break the contact between them, grabbing one of his hands and entwining their fingers.

"What is it?" His curiosity was growing more and more as Olivia kept her mouth closed.

"I've been researching." She said cryptically.

"Researching?" He asked having the sensation that part of the conversation was still on Olivia's mind.

"Yeah."

"May I know about what?" He asked carefully. It was unusual to see Olivia so nervous and unsure.

"About what we talked about the other day." She said not looking at him, and it took Rafael a few seconds to understand her words.

"Oh!" His mouth stood open, and that sound was the only thing he managed to say. "Wait." He said lifting his hand up before she could say anything more. "Let me get this straight." He tried to ease her a bit, feeling her nervousness. "Did you do naughty searches on google, lieutenant?" He asked smirking which made Olivia look at him with disbelief.

"Rafa?!" She said not quite believing his remark. She had been restless on how and when to approach him, and he had left her speechless again at the same time he made fun of her in his cocky, stupid way that made her smile despite her exasperation.

"Did you or did you not?" He asked still smirking as he tugged her by their entwined hands to push her to sit on his lap, not caring if it wasn't the best course decision.

"Maybe." She offered.

"And you didn't tell me anything. I'm hurt. My heart is crushed." He said looking at her with mischief in his eyes. "We could have had such a good time together."

"Rafa." It wasn't unusual to her to only be able to say his name in moments like this. But each intonation was different. This time with the usual exasperation there was also shyness.

"Oh! Did they arouse you?"

"Rafa!" Olivia exclaimed as she put one hand on his lips to make him stop, but she only earned a lick in the palm of her hand. She pushed away her hand, and her hard look was enough to keep Rafael at bay.

"Ok, ok!" He offered. "I'll behave. I'll be a good boy." His low voice echoed on her skin as he left her breathless again. "My, my..." His hands were on her tights softly scratching the skin available without leaving any mark. "You are full of hidden kinks, mi amor (my love)."

"I'm trying to make a point." She said trying to recover herself, but Rafael was making it extraordinarily difficult for her.

"I'm all ears." He said with that childish smirk of his. "I told you, I'll be a good boy." He said as he tried to sit up straight to kiss her, but Olivia didn't let him, pushing him back against the bed by his shoulders, making him chuckle. And with the movement she rubbed him making him groan with pleasure. For a second he had forgotten he was painfully hard.

"Sorry," Olivia said not feeling it.

"Yeah," Rafael said seeing the lie. "Just don't wait too much, I'm kind of dying here."

"Drama queen." She said making them both chuckle. Careful this time, she leaned over him to kiss him chastely, leaving his lips before he could return the kiss, and seated herself comfortably on his lap, making him groan again.

"I didn't like them. I hated them." She confessed.

"Liv." He went to grab her hand again, feeling the change in the room, despite the smile on her face.

"They were a few videos on the pages I searched information..."

"There's..." Rafael tried to say something, but Olivia didn't let him.

"Shhh." She shushed him. "Let me... I need to say it."

"Ok."

"It's not that I couldn't comprehend the appeal, but I couldn't see how having you like this could arouse me." She explained.

"And there's nothing wrong with it." He said a bit sad. He had wanted to explore that idea with her more than he had thought.

"I know." She said squeezing his hand. "But I felt bad too because you were excited about it. So I keep looking."

"And?" He asked trying not to sound too hopeful.

"I found something." She said making him hot all over again.

"Yeah?" He asked seeing her nod.

"Mmm..." He could make him do anything with that smile of his.

"Want to share?"

"Compromise," Olivia said smirking.

"I like that word."

"Me too." She said with her blush appearing again. "What do you know about mental bondage or honor bondage?" She asked, looking quite hopeful.

"Nothing." He answered sincerely. Despite he had been the one with the kink, he hadn't done any research.

"It's when I ask you to do something, and you do it without any physical restraint, just because you want to please me." She said grabbing both of his hands in hers. "Like if I told you..." She said pushing his hands on top of his head, giving him the change to kiss her on her breastbone. "To keep your hands here for the full ride, and how I would stop anything I might be doing if you moved them." She murmured in his hear making him groan. "Would you be up to it?" She asked.

"Hell yes!" He groaned already ready for the play.

"Now?"

"Please." Rafael murmured, already having problems to form coherent words.

"Well then, stay put honey," Olivia said smirking.

…

"Rafa, your arms." Olivia murmured between hard breaths after feeling Rafael's arms engulf her body.

"Shhh..." He shushed her. "I need to hug you right now." He was breathless too.

"Ok." She needed it after what they had shared. It had brought a different level on their relationship. They had barely talked, but their touches and their eyes had given each other the information they needed. And it had been amazing, and overwhelming. Seeing his fists go white, trying to keep them where Olivia had placed them, and the sweat drops on his skin. Their bodies synchronized. In the end, it had been Olivia who had wanted the connection and grabbed Rafael's hands in hers before they reached their climax together.

She didn't know how much time passed while they hugged and tried to calm themselves.

"I love you," Rafael said kissing her hair, and Olivia kissed his collarbone.

"Love you too." She murmured. "Raincheck?" She offered to make Rafael chuckle.

"Please." He murmured. Despite her hidden reticence, her want to give Rafael this had made her keep looking until she had found the perfect compromise between them. And honestly, despite her fears she had been curious about it. And now she couldn't be happier. "Did you like it?"

"Do you honestly have to ask?" She asked not leaving her spot on his chest, making him chuckle.

"I just want to be sure."

"Well then, yes."

"Good," He said as his fingers caressed her hair giving her goosebumps on her skin. "I liked it too."

"I think I caught that." She said before Rafael pinched one of her tights.

"Smartass." It was her turn to chuckle. She liked the sex. She loved it a lot. But the afterward had a special place in her heart. When they were too tired and over-sensitive, and their hands would softly caress the skin available, and they would murmur sweet nothings to each other or confess the last secrets kept between them.

"Are you ok with just this?" Olivia asked.

"What?" He wasn't in his smartest moment.

"I mean, I liked what we did, but in that aspect, I don't want to try harder things."

"Oh! Yes! Of course, it's enough." Rafael rambled. "I didn't know I would like it that much, but it's enough." He tried to reassure her. With her past experiences, he was hugely surprised she had wanted to try it.

"Ok," Olivia murmured.

"When it came it wasn't because I was bored with our intimacy." He said hugging her a bit harder. "It was just an idea that could be interesting. I'm more than ok with our normal intimacy. I love it. But this doesn't hurt from time to time."

"No, it doesn't." Olivia murmured as her tense body relaxed again against Rafael's.

"I'm thirsty," Olivia said after a while, but neither of them moved.

"You were quite vocal."

"Pot to the kettle."

"But mines are deeper." Rafael tried to counteract.

"Just be thankful we are alone," Olivia said making him laugh.

"Do you want me to get you some water?" Always the gentleman.

"Don't move." She ordered to comfy to want to lose his heat.

"Ok." He said smirking, kissing her hair again and relaxing with her for a while.

* * *

Be _kind please, I picked up the names for the bondage thing_ form _google._


	41. Chapter 41

_Hello there!_

 _I'm very sorry for not updating the story sooner, but it has been for a good reason._

 _I got some inspiration for the later chapter in the story, and when that happens to me, I have to write them independently if they are the next ones or if the won't be the next one until ten chapters later. So, I'm sorry._

 _But all that also means there are quite a few chapters almost ready!_

 _I also had a car accident a week ago with my dog. We are both fine, but it has been a hard week. But well, you don't need to hear all my tragedies._

 _Here I put the next chapter. It's a little short, but I hope you'll like it, and that you'll write me a comment. Thank you!_

 _Also, tons of thanks to Lyssa813 for her beta-reading! You're amazing!_

* * *

 _Disenchanted._

Olivia left the kids room half-open, with their nightlights on, before she went to the kitchen, following the noises Rafael made. He was still loading the dishwasher with the plates from dinner. Without saying anything to him, she went to the liquor cabinet to pour two glasses of scotch.

"Celebratory cocktail?" She offered. Since they had left her office, after Chief Dodds news, there had been a little tension between them.

"Sure," Rafael smiled at her, but it didn't reach his eyes like it usually did.

Olivia hated the cases that left their working relationship so unbalanced that they couldn't read the other's intentions anymore. But, when that unbalance extended to their private life, she grew restless. And the worst part was, that despite that restlessness, she didn't know what to say. Despite their disagreement, she wasn't mad at him, nor disenchanted, even though she had said otherwise. She knew he had asked her to lie as a result of the pressure he had been put under by his bosses and the media, as well as his own thirst to give the victims guidance in their healing process. But, it had hurt her a little in the process.

"Are you disenchanted?" Those hadn't been the words she had wanted to start the conversation with, but apparently, her brain to mouth filter was already off for the day.

"What?" Rafael was looking at Olivia totally surprised. In none of his scenarios, she asked him that. "Shouldn't I be the one saying those words?" Rafael asked. "Actually, I already used them." The both of them remembered it had only been a few hours since Olivia had heard that question from his lips.

"But are you?" She needed to know. If she was truthful to herself, she knew she had been a little too harsh to him when he had asked her. His actions in court had been a little too fresh. But Chief Dodds coming inside her office hadn't let them talk much more about it.

"Liv," Rafael murmured, coming closer to her. He grabbed her glass to put it on the countertop beside his. Without breaking eye contact, he grasped her hands in his and brought them to his chest, to rest their entwined hands there. She heard him take a deep breath before he opened his mouth. "If you need to know... then yes..." He tightened his hold on her hands when he felt her tense up, and try to move away from him. "I am disenchanted with my work and with the Justice system. I am disenchanted with myself, for giving in to my bosses pressure. But not with you. I could never be disenchanted by you." Rafael's words made Olivia take a deep breath as she brought her forehead against his, trying to be as close as possible to him. "Come here, I need a hug." He said as he moved them both so they were flushed against each other, snuggling as close as physically possible.

"I'm sorry." Olivia murmured, not leaving her spot on Rafael's neck. "I was still upset, and..."

"It's ok." He murmured stroking her hair.

"No, it's not. It wasn't fair to you. I should have explained my words, but between Dodds presence and his news, and then, I was so exhausted." Olivia's words brought him a little relief after the pressure they had been put under these past few days. "I'm sorry." She said again.

She hated when their work discussions came home with them. They tried really hard to keep them away, but sometimes a little resentment remained and it required them addressing it in the confines of their home.

"I'm sorry too," Rafael said. "I shouldn't have asked you to do that."

"You shouldn't have, but I understand why you did it." Despite not wanting to have this conversation at home it would be better to have this conversation face to face but they couldn't seem to break the embrace they held each other in. Olivia sighed and continued "and it hurts me to know you were put into that position." Olivia knew there wasn't anything they could do now, but the words brought them a little peace. "And it hurts me when I feel you slipping away from me." Olivia hated when a case got between them. At first, it had been because of their difference in opinions, but now it was usually because they had differing opinions on how to proceed with their cases. And despite how much Rafael wanted to help her, he couldn't. Which drove them both mad, and let their tempers get the best of them.

"It hurts me too," Rafael squeezed her harder between his arms. "Hey," Rafael's voice broke the silence in the room. "Let's ditch work tomorrow," Rafael said smirking. It was an amazing idea, but as quickly as the idea had come into his head, the thoughts about how wild it was going to be the next few days due to the mosque bombing, putting an end to his little dream.

"We can't," Olivia said sadly, they both knew she was right.

"Not all day, but sure we could manage to take the kids to the park in the afternoon. And If they need one of us we wouldn't be that far away." His first thought had been to take the kids to the closest countryside available.

"That doesn't sound that bad," Olivia said smirking.

"Yeah, well sometimes I amaze myself with these amazing ideas," he said making them both chuckle.

"But I have a better idea," Olivia said still smirking, her eyes shining with mischief.

"What?" He was curious now.

"A shower," Olivia said biting her lip.

"A shower, now?" Rafael asked surprised, not seeing Olivia's true intentions. "Oh! You mean... together?" He was the one with the glint of mischief in his eyes, making Olivia laugh while she nodded with her head. "But the kids..." He murmured.

"They are sleeping." During the first months of their relationship, it had surprised her how reticent he was about having sex with the kids so close, and his worry about not being able to hear them if they needed them. With time those fears had subsided, but they came up from time to time.

"But..."

"We have the baby monitor." She offered. "And Noah and Graham know how to knock the door if they need something. So..." Her hands were on his chest, caressing the skin covered by the white shirt he had chosen in the morning. "What do you say counselor... are you game?" Her mouth was just a few inches from his, not giving into her desire to kiss him, at least just yet, letting the desire grow between them. Knowing how mad it drove him when she stayed so close to him, but she did nothing to touch him.

Finally, he gave in closing the gap between them with a groan as he kissed her roughly, stealing a moan from her.

"Lead the way," He said and she didn't need to hear anything else, and without losing any more time, Olivia moved them towards the bathroom.


	42. Chapter 42

_Hello!_

 _Thank you for your support and amazing comments! For those who left me the guest messages, thank you a lot! They made me really happy, but I'm not able to send you a fed back message._

 _Thank you to my beta Lyssa813 who checked the chapter!_

 _Here's is the next chapter. There's not a lot of plot, but I hope you'll like it. I'm happy to say or write that in two more chapters we're going to start the chapter about season 19._

* * *

 _Jealousy._

It had been a good day, nothing special but a good one that had included ditching work after lunch time and picking up the kids to spend an afternoon together. One of the best parts of it had been seeing Olivia's face when he had come across an old female friend from his first years working in the Brooklyn DA's office.

Sure wrapping her in a bear hug as soon as he had spotted her after she had called him hadn't been his best idea. Neither was the fact they had started talking non-stop, and he had forgotten for a few minutes he hadn't been there alone.

They had always been friends, the kind that didn't need close contact to stay connected. The kind that despite not seeing each other for years, they could quickly start talking like they had only talked five minutes ago.

Olivia had tried to mask it, but to his eyes, she hadn't succeeded. Her words had been a little to dry when he had introduced them, her smile a little too tense, and her hands had touched him a little more than her usual in a public place. And it had amused him and pleased him too much. Everything she did for him or for the kids pleased him too much, he really had it bad, they both knew it, and he didn't care if the whole world saw it. He was too happy to care if his lovesick smile was open to the whole world.

It had been a couple of hours since that surprising encounter, and he had been dying to sass his wife a little since then. He was having a real hard time keeping his mouth closed for so long.

As he saw her leave the boys room, he found the perfect moment to attack her, hugging her from behind, with his hands around her lower belly, before she could move away from him.

"Rafa!" She tried to keep her voice down, but her surprise was evident, making him chuckle. Apparently, he had been sneakier than he had thought.

"How's the green skin doing?" He asked smirking.

"What?" She asked, but she didn't fool him.

"You know what." He said. "It tainted your cheeks when I was talking with Emma."

"Don't be an idiot," Olivia said.

"Evasion. Good tactic. But you are not fooling me." He said smirking into the skin of her neck.

"Rafa!" She tried to leave his arms.

"Come on Liv," He murmured tightening his grip on her body. "It's just you and me."

"What do you want?" She asked. "Ok. Yes. I felt jealous. Are you happy now?" Despite the blush reaching the skin of her neck and cheeks, her voice was too harsh for his liking.

"Hey," He murmured tightening his hold on her. She had almost managed to leave his arms while he had lost himself in his thoughts for a few seconds.

"Come on, come on. Don't be like this. Don't leave." He kept speaking softly into her ear. "Come closer, you smell fantastic." His voice was a little muffled while he nuzzled her skin, tasting it, leaving small scrapes of stubble burn. "Although, I don't know if it's prudent to leave those breasts so close to me after that display of territoriality." The words were enough to make her chuckle a little, but the stiffness her body still held betrayed the easygoing chuckle he had just heard. "I liked it." He murmured.

"Mm?" She didn't say a word, but Rafael knew he had caught her attention.

"Please, don't be ashamed. I think it's ok to be a little jealous from time to time. It's flattering."

"Only you would find it flattering."

"And why not?" He asked. "I felt desired. And I know if she asked me to grab a coffee you wouldn't stop me from going. Am I wrong?"

"No..." She murmured. "But..."

"Do you want to know how many times I felt jealous for you? Because it's been ages since I've lost count." He said, and Olivia felt his smirk on her skin. "One of the worst was at the first conference we went to after getting together," he confessed.

"The Sergeant?" She asked remembering those three days in Boston.

"Sergeant Douchebag? Yes. For an SVU Sergeant, he wasn't very perceptive."

"You left me a Texas-sized hickey just below my ear." She remembered how much time and make-up it had taken her to disguise it because there had been no way her blouse would cover it all.

"Guilty." He said proudly of his work.

"And proud."

"Always." He said before kissing her cheek. "I love you, and I know you love me. And there's nothing wrong with a bit of jealousy. It spices things up a bit."

"Rafa!" She was blushing again.

"Anyway, just for your sanity, if I'm not mistaken, I've talked to you before about Emma."

"I know," Olivia admitted.

"We were good friends, and the only night we've fully spent together was just one of the best of my life..."

"Rafa!" Olivia smacked his arm.

"Ow!"

"Not helping."

"Ok, sorry. Although did I tell you about that?" He asked.

"I think I would remember, so no you haven't." Olivia's amused exasperation was noticeable in her voice.

"Well, it was just one night of light inebriation after her girlfriend gave her an ultimatum to make their relationship public, and she thought she had lost her. Now they are married and with two kids if I'm not wrong."

"Oh!" Olivia murmured.

"Yes," Rafael said as he nuzzled her neck again while Olivia stayed silent. "I could tease you till the weekend for it, but... I'm more concerned about the jealousy thing..." He murmured. "Much more concerned..." His hands were touching her warm skin teasing the fabric of her bra.

Olivia scoffed at his antics, but the smile didn't leave her face as she let herself be properly surrounded by Rafael's body and scent. It didn't take her more than a few seconds to feel his lips taste her skin and leave a trail of marks up to her jawbone.

"I assume you have some ideas." She said smirking.

"Yes, a few... more like a ton of ideas. Millions of ideas." His hands weren't teasing anymore, leaving her breathless under his touch.

"Um..." She said, trying to clear her mind and having serious problems doing it.

"Because between that and seeing you with the kids. I'm sold." He made her laugh.

"But we should move because I'm going to start making noises."

"What kind of noises?" He asked breathlessly as he started to push them towards their bedroom.

"Really?" She asked surprised. "Are you fishing for sex talk?" Her question made him groan into her skin.

"More like begging." He loved their banter, and to just get Olivia to say those kinds of things, he would do anything she asked in a heartbeat.

"Like you could be the quiet one." She said, and they both chuckled as slowly and clumsily they made their way to their room, neither of them wanting to lose contact with the other. Both of them hoping none of the kids would need them in the next hour.

"Don't be mean." His complaint sounded a bit too childish, but her laugh was worth millions.

"Then do something about it." She knew he would never reject a challenge, but the smugness that appeared on his face almost instantly made her skin turn into goosebumps. He was about to retaliate, and Olivia knew he wasn't going to use words.

"Tickle attack!" She didn't have a second to move away before he had her shrieking with laughter as they landed on the bed with his legs holding her under his strong body.

"Ok...Ok..." She managed to say breathlessly between giggles. "You win. Please. Stop." Olivia pleaded, not taking her more than a second to take advantage of his loosening hold on her to turn the tables until she was the one on top. "I win." Her smile couldn't be more proud of herself.

"Good moves." He said smirking. "But I'm not so sure about the winning thing."

"How so?"

"Nothing, in particular. Just this." He said as he moved his leg so his knee was pushing against her core making her moan. "You like it?"

"God, Rafa." Her voice was low, deep and needy.

"Good, then come down here because all that foreplay is going to kill me." He said freeing one of his hands to grab her clothes to pull her down to kiss her, although it was mostly teeth crashing as they were both laughing at his words. He had managed to slide his tongue against her lips teasingly before she managed to slip a bit from his hold, still fighting him so his knee couldn't push against her. Sometimes both of them being so obstinate could be a problem. "What about a tie?" He offered, needing her touch too much.

"I won't forget about it." She said smiling. Despite her resistance, her hands had found their way under his shirt, and she drew lines with her nails, revealing in the feeling of his skin trembling under her touch.

Neither of them said anything for a few seconds, both relishing in the feel of their bodies so close to each other.

"You can have as many rematches as you want, but please touch me." He pleaded licking his lips. She didn't move yet but her eyes followed every inch of his movements. "Liv..." He complained not caring if his voice was needy.

"Ok." She smirked at him as she properly sat on his hips making him groan. "But don't complain later."

"I won't." He said grinning as his hands pushed her against him again lifting the edge of the shirt that still covered her thorax and this time she followed him nosing into Rafael's cheek before kissing his lips like her life depended on it.

Somewhere between the kissing, licking and nipping their clothes found their way onto the floor and the giggles continued until he stopped abruptly. Rafael was on top of her now, his hands around her neck stroking with his thumbs her pulse point trying to put in his eyes what he couldn't say with his words. He was still mesmerized by how much she meant to him. She didn't say anything, but her raised eyebrow was enough to voice a silent question.

"Te quiero (I love you)." He murmured, and Olivia smiled at him so freely and happily, and he knew they were in the same boat.

"Te quiero."


	43. Chapter 43

_Hello there! Here's the next one. I hope you'll like it and that I'll hear from you._

 _Thanks for all your support and comments, and to my amazing betta Lyssa813_

* * *

 _Insecurity._

"Mr. Barba?" The voice of a young woman standing beside the open door of his office caught his attention, and silently he watched her come inside and leave a file on his desk. "Do you need anything else Mr. Barba? She asked, and maybe her smile was a little too suggestive, but he didn't want to assume, even though Olivia's words echoed in his mind.

It had been all Olivia's fault. He hadn't noticed anything before, but after Olivia's words a few days ago he was questioning everything. It had happened during one of their last shared lunches. He had been drowning in paperwork, forgetting to have lunch two days in a row and surviving solely on snacks, when Olivia's thoughtfulness saved him. They had been talking about the kids when the young woman entered his office talking about some problem in one of the files he had given her. She had barely left his office, and Olivia was already telling him to be careful of the way she was behaving with him.

He laughed at first, Olivia had only been with the young woman for a minute at most, but despite her seeming to be jealous, he had seen concern in her eyes.

Rafael had tried not to think much about it since then, but it was becoming hard work as the days passed. Questioning himself if what he had seen as an appropriate work attitude and polite exchange of words, masked what Olivia had said, was a masked attempt of seduction. And if she was right, the funny thing was that she wasn't being inappropriate or harassing, at least not yet. And if he was sincere, it was true that she had been standing a little too close and looking at him a bit too intensely for his comfort.

The best part of it was that he hadn't asked for her assistance. However his office, in an attempt to set an example, had agreed to participate in a program in which young graduates could work as assistants to the ADAs for a few months, and in the meantime learn.

He hadn't wanted to participate, but they hadn't let him say no. He had tried hard to refuse until the last moment, but when his boss had put the file in his hands, he knew he had lost the battle. And two days later he had been expecting a young man named Jordan Brown, but the person who entered his office was a young brunette woman with hazel eyes and good taste in clothes, who had proved to be quite resourceful and a hard worker.

"Wait a second." He said looking at the already organized files on his desk he needed to take home. Today he had to leave early, hence his tidiness minutes before he had to leave.

"Ok." The woman said as she went to look through the window.

"No, It's ok. I think you can go home." He said after a minute or two. There was no reason for her to stay if he was going to leave.

"Well, if I get there." She said with sarcasm, still looking through the window. He went to the one closer to his desk and saw how it was raining cats and dogs.

"You don't have a car?" He asked.

"Nope." He was starting to feel a little bad for her.

"Where do you live?"

"20 minutes from here with the subway." He mumbled in acknowledge.

"If you don't mind a stop in the middle, I can give you a lift." He offered. He wanted to keep his distance but he wasn't a heartless man. He didn't have it in him to let anyone walk in this rain.

"Really?" She asked surprised and looking genuinely thankful.

"I'm offering." He smiled at her. "I have my car in the basement parking lot. I'll meet you in ten minutes at the elevator."

"Ok. Thank you so much." She said before leaving his office, in a hurry.

...

It didn't take him much longer to leave his office and find her waiting by the elevator, looking at her phone.

"Let's go." He said once the doors opened.

"Thank you so much. You are saving my life." She said smiling, as the elevator was on his way to the basement, putting a hand on the arm he was holding his phone with reading Olivia's last message. It was at that exact moment when he heard Olivia's voice in his head telling him I told you so.

"I would do it for any poor soul who could need a lift with this weather." He said. "If you'll excuse me." He said looking at his arm.

"Of course." She said the smile still on her face.

The rest of the lift was silent until they set foot in the garage.

"Over here," Rafael said, leading her to the right side of the garage. It only took him a few steps to spot his car and smile a little. He loved that machine. It had taken him quite awhile to persuade his wife to choose the one he wanted, but if he was good at something, it was at making speeches. In the end, it had been two weeks of system security, driving assistance and economically affordability information to have her on his side.

If he was sincere with himself, there were other options with the same output, but he had fallen in love with the car. And now he was a proud owner of a new black Volvo XC90.

He saw the girl smirk from the corner of his eyes once she spotted the car, but his smugness deflated a bit when she asked about the Jaguar parked beside his car.

"No, mine's the next one." He murmured as he opened his car with the remote control.

"Oh." She said surprised. "Your's it's fancy too."

"Yeah." He murmured still with his pride still a little hurt. He put his briefcase on the backseat floor before going to sit in the driver's seat. "Are you coming in?" He asked when he saw the woman frozen on the other side of the car.

"Yes. Sorry." She said smiling while sitting on the leather seat. "It's new, right?" She said looking at the car still shiny surfaces, but Rafael was already concentrated into driving the car towards the garage exit not seeing how her body went stiff once she looked at the back of the car.

"Are you married?" She asked looking at the three toddler car seats.

"Yes." He said smiling, not that the woman saw it as she was still looking at the seats.

"But you don't wear a ring?"

"After having a few threats to our family Olivia and I decided to wear our rings on a chain around our necks." He explained to the woman as his hand rested on his chest, touching his ring under his clothes.

"Olivia? As in Olivia Benson?" The girl asked him.

"The one and the only," Rafael said smiling.

"I can see the point." He didn't mention her sudden blush, and she didn't inquire after his family anymore.

The silence settled in the car for a few minutes, until Rafael feeling a little awkward started to ask her about the university she had attended and other easygoing things to keep the conversation until they arrived at his kid's daycare center. Today he had been tasked with picking them up.

Going as fast as he could, he picked them up and moved them to the car, trying to be as quick as he could into helping them to settle inside the car under the rain. Taking them way more time he would want as they were more preoccupied to tell his father how their day had been. Once they had their belts fastened, and he was sitting behind the steering wheel, trying not to think too much on how wet he was, the boys started to babble again in a mix of English and Spanish. He didn't understand all that they were saying, but he couldn't stop smiling at their antics and happiness.

He was so engrossed with following the directions Jordan said and trying to keep their son's conversation, he didn't notice how the girl was having a bit of a hard time trying to keep a cool attitude, after what had happened when she had gotten into the car.

In the end, it didn't take them much time to reach her place.

"Here we are," Rafael said once he had stopped the car.

"Thank you," Jordan said before opening the door.

"It was nothing." Rafael hated these moments of forced politeness, but something made her stay frozen in the spot. "Everything ok?"

"Just..." She murmured, not looking at him. "I want to say sorry."

"About?" Rafael asked curiously.

"You are a legend." She blurted blushing. This time she looking at Rafael, after gathering the last courage she had. "The work you do causes a lot of impact. And when I was told I was put with you in the program, I was so excited. I might have been a little too forward." She said looking apologetic.

"No harm was done. OK?" Rafael said trying to comfort her a bit. He didn't want her to feel worse than she seemed to be.

"Ok." She said with a little smile poking at the corner of her mouth. "Thank you, Mr. Barba." She didn't say much more and Rafael saw her run towards the door.

…

"This is a nightmare!" Those were Olivia's first words after she had opened the door, arriving a few hours later than he and the kids had. "I just walked from Fin's car to the lobby, and I'm drenched!"

"Here," Rafael said putting a towel on Olivia's head and started to dry her hair.

"Thank you." She said letting him pamper her. Rafael lifted the towel a little and saw her beautiful brown eyes.

"Hello." He said smiling before kissing her chastely on the lips.

"Maybe it's a sweet dream with that welcome." She said as she smiled at him making him laugh and smelling one of her favourite Rafael's home-cooked meal.

"Go take a shower before you catch a cold." He said kissing her again. "The boys are playing over by the sofa and Sarah is taking a nap in her room."

"Ok." She said as he left her to go to the kitchen again, knowing she would go check on the kids before taking that shower. It always bought him a smile hearing her chat with the kids.

...

"Hello there." She said as her arms hugged him from behind with her face resting on his shoulder. After taking one of her long relaxing hot showers, she always was a little touch starved.

"Hey." He said kissing her cheek and smelling the scent of her sweet shampoo. "You smell good."

"You too." She said as she kissed his neck. "How was your afternoon?"

"Quiet." He said still surprised about it. "I left around four o'clock."

"Really?" She asked surprised too.

"Yes. Yours?"

"I'll say easy going," Olivia said. "Too much paperwork."

"Yeah." They stood like this for a few minutes, not needing any word between them hearing the kids play. "You don't have to worry about her anymore. Not that you had to, not even for a second."

"What?" She asked not quite understanding him.

"Jordan." He said her name and Olivia tensed. "I gave her a lift to her place because of the water, and we stopped to pick up the kids. Not that the car seats didn't give her the information." He said smiling.

After not hearing her voice for an amount of time he thought was enough, he moved so he could look at her face. She was smirking, and her eyes shining with mischievousness.

"I told you so." There was elation in her voice.

"I know." He murmured, blushing. "At least you don't have to worry about it anymore."

"About what?"

"You know..." He didn't want to say it out loud, but when a smirk appeared on her face he was left speechless.

"Did you thought...? Oh, my poor baby. Did the cat eat your tongue?" Rafael thought she was enjoying this way too much, but instead of words, only a tinny whine left his mouth making her chuckle "I had to point it to you honey, and I trust you, so there was no way you would accept her advances."

"Oh..." His blush wasn't going away.

"Yes, oh." She chuckled again. "Or was it..." She looked at him a little too suspiciously. "Was it that you wanted me to go all jealous again?" She asked. and his blushed strengthened giving her the answer she needed. "Don't worry, we can recreate it later in the bedroom, but now it would be a good idea for you to take a deep breath, your lips are starting to be blue honey. And I'll go set the table." She said laughing leaving him alone while he murmured under his breath about her cockiness, and loving every bit of it.


	44. Chapter 44

_Hello there! Here's the next one, I hope you'll like it._

 _Thank you all for your support and to my beta Lyssa813!_

* * *

 _School._

Rafael was walking a few steps behind his wife and son. He knew today was going to be a hard day for him, and as he looked at them, he was trying to settle his thoughts. He was trying to prepare himself for what they were going to face sooner than he would ever want.

It didn't take them long to go from Sarah and Graham's day-care center to the place they were headed now. He and Olivia had done it on purpose, but now he would have loved to have had a little more time. His two younger kids were still going to the same center he and Olivia had chosen a few years back so Noah could interact with other kids for a few hours a day. However Noah wouldn't be going there anymore.

And that fact was why today was a special day. Today was Noah's first day of school.

Noah was happy about it, saying to everyone he was a big boy now that he had to go to school. Rafael wasn't that happy, in truth, he didn't know what he was feeling. He had been on the edge since the alarm clock had woken him and Olivia up because all the emotions and thoughts running through his head.

He was happy, of course. He was thrilled and proud of his son. His boy was growing up beautifully. He loved seeing his young mind getting sharper and sharper each day, always striving for knowledge. But at the same time, he was scared. He still could absolutely remember his own first day at school, and it hadn't been the best experience in his life. He wanted Noah to be accepted, to find good friends and to have a good time each day he had to go to school. He didn't want him to experience how cruel could kids be. And, at the same time, he felt sad because his boy was growing up so fast, and it didn't make any sense to him.

"Doing ok there?" Olivia asked after slowing her steps, so Rafael was walking beside them again.

"Yeah."

"Cat got your tongue? I think... No... I can count with one hand the times you've been this silent for this amount of time. And I'm not counting when you're sleeping." Olivia tried to cheer him up, but she only managed to get a tiny smile. "You know...I'm nervous too," Olivia confessed.

"Really?" Rafael asked, not believing her words.

"Yeah." She said taking his hand in hers.

"It's just... I want him to have a perfect day."

"And you'll see how it's going to be."

"But he's so shy."

"They are all in the same boat," Olivia said looking at the other kids surrounding them. "Don't worry that much. Ok?" Olivia only managed to get a quick nod from Rafael.

It didn't take them much longer to see Noah's new classroom. During the first week, kids of Noah's age had to be accompanied to their classroom.

Once inside, they were surrounded by other little kids and their parents, all sharing their first day at school. Olivia, not giving a second glance to Rafael, kneeled in front of Noah.

"You ok honey?" Olivia asked her little boy. Since the morning he had been vibrating, barely containing his energy, wanting to get to school as soon as possible.

"Yeah," Noah said watching his surroundings carefully. He was realizing for the first time that going to school meant going to a new place, with new people alone, and with that, his shyness came back.

"Do you remember your teacher?" Olivia asked him, making the boy remember how they had come to the same class a week ago to meet his new teacher.

"Yes," Noah nodded.

"Good," Olivia kissed his forehead. "Remember, when school finishes Papi or I will be there to pick you up." Olivia saw how Noah carefully looked at Rafael. She could see her son wasn't that sure about being left alone, and both she and Noah knew Rafael was the soft one, the one who would break first. She also saw Rafael's watery eyes, barely containing the tears. "Noah?" Olivia tried again to gather his attention. Not caring if she interrupted her son's scheming as she made sure his clothes and backpack were in their rightful place. Despite being the tough one now, she was as nervous as Rafael. "You don't have to worry honey, you'll make plenty of friends in no time." Olivia tried to reassure him, and from the corner of her eye, she saw someone. "Look," She said gladly surprised. "Isn't that Lucas?" Olivia asked making Noah look to the other side of the classroom. Lucas and Noah had been good friends at the day-care center. But the last time she saw the boy and his mother, she still didn't know for sure which school she was going to pick for her son.

"Yes!" Noah said happily, already trying to go and talk to his friend.

"Noah, wait a minute!" Olivia tried, but Noah slipped from her fingers, leaving her all alone. She couldn't stop her pout as she turned to look at Rafael, but when she saw a few tears trickling down his face, her pout turned into a smile.

"Are you crying?" She asked him, trying not to mock him too much.

"Shut up." He bit back at her. Last night they had joked about who would be the first one to cry, and neither of them didn't like to lose their little bets.

"Come on Rafa," Olivia took his hand between hers.

"He just left us," Rafael murmured. "And it didn't look like it was really hard for him to do that."

"Rafa." Olivia was trying to keep her laugh hidden as she squeezed his hand, slowly moving closer to him to kiss his cheek. "He just went to the other side of the room. He didn't leave to never see us again." She loved it when he let her see how much of a big teddy bear he was.

"I know but..." Rafael didn't know how to finish that sentence.

"He's just being a big boy." She tried to reassure him.

"But he's growing up so fast." He complained.

"I know honey." She said smiling at him. "But isn't it beautiful to see him growing up."

"Yeah..." Rafael murmured, seeing how the teacher moved closer to the parents and started to inform them it was time for them to leave. "Do we...?"

"Yeah." Rafael wasn't the one who wanted to have a proper goodbye from their boy, but before either of them could move Noah came to them running.

"Wait! Mommy, Papi!" He shouted as he glued himself into his parent's legs, trying to hug them both at the same time. "I love you." Noah murmured. And it was Olivia's turn to break into a barely contained mess of tears. Both her and Rafael kneeled to hug Noah properly, squeezing him between their bodies.

"We love you too." Rafael murmured kissing Noah's messy curls. "Come on," it was his time to try and be the voice of reason. "It's just for a few hours, ok?" He asked Noah and felt his nod. "And we'll be here to pick you up, and I want to hear all the funny things you've done today. Ok?" Rafael asked as he moved him to to be able to see Noah's face.

"Ok." Noah nodded seriously, wanting to ace his father's request.

"Do we have a deal?" Rafael asked him.

"Yeah," Noah said laughing.

"Good." Rafael nodded at him. "Now kiss mommy, kiss me and go play with Lucas."

Quickly Noah did what he had been told, leaving Olivia and Rafael alone.

"What were you saying?" Rafael said messing with Olivia as they walked through the school hallways. She was the one crying at the moment, and there was no way he wasn't going to tease her.

"Shut up," She bit back at him, hitting his shoulder, and making him laugh.

"He's going to be fine," Rafael said.

"I know," Olivia murmured, not entirely persuaded.

"Come on, you barely ate this morning. Let's go have some breakfast." Rafael offered to her. They had taken a few personal hours from work to walk Noah to school.

"Ok..." Olivia murmured. "Just... I barely survived today..." She said referring to Noah's first day at school. "I hope I'm tougher for the next two." She said making Rafael chuckle.

"I hope so." Rafael looked at her, with his eyes full of love. "We'll get better." He said before kissing her chastely on the lips, after all, they still were on the school grounds.


	45. Chapter 45

_Hello there!_

 _Here's the next one. Thank you all for your support and comments, and I hope you'll like this one. Lyssa813, thanks for your beta-reading!_

 _I just wanted to say that after rewatching the first part of season 19, I've put some parts of the episodes' dialogues in my chapters. In some of them I've just added what the people are thinking, and in others, I've modified some parts (adding or taking away some parts), or I've changed the location and the people involved. I'll put a warning in each chapter that this happens, and this is the first one._

* * *

 _Brian I._

"What's for dessert tonight?" Olivia asked her kids. Tonight she had been alone with them during dinner time, but Rafael was supposed to come home shortly.

"Ice-cream!" Graham shouted over his sibling's voices.

"Yeah!" Sarah and Noah joined their brother.

"Strawberry!"

"Don't you remember who finished it? Because it was you and papi." Noah looked at her sheepishly. "There's only vanilla left."

"And syrup?"

"Finished too." Quickly she went to the kitchen to grab a few bowls, spoons and the only ice-cream left in the house when they heard someone knocking at the door.

"Did any of you invite someone over?"

"No!" A chorus of voices said while laughing at their mother's antics. "You sure?" Olivia saw a few nods as they started eating the ice-cream. "Then who is it?"

"Papi?" Graham said making Olivia chuckle. She hadn't checked her phone in a while, so she didn't know if Rafael had called her.

"Do you think he forgot his keys again?" Olivia asked Graham as she ruffled his hair making him chuckle. "I'll go see, you stay here." She said to the kids as she went to open the door stopping for a quick look at the peephole, not believing what her eyes saw.

"Wow... Hello." She said seeing Brian Cassidy on the other side of the door.

"Hey, Liv," He hadn't changed much since she had last seen him.

"This is a surprise."

"Yeah... I was around, and I thought about that coffee you owned me." Brain said making her smile at the memory.

"You are right." She said as she looked inside her home seeing her kids eating their dessert. "But it's not a great time now. But, how are you? Last I heard you were in Florida, enjoying an early retirement."

"Yeah..." He scratched the back of his neck, and some part of Olivia's started to get suspicious. She had seen him do that many times, when he was nervous about something. But she didn't have time to think about it as she saw another man coming from the elevator.

"Rafa!" Olivia called him smiling. She hadn't seen him since lunchtime, and despite how cheesy it might seem she had missed him.

"Mi amor (My love)," He said using the space available in the threshold to put himself in front of her, and kiss her chastely on the lips before he looked to the other man. He was hoping that the kids wouldn't see him as he didn't want to leave Olivia alone with Brian. If she didn't feel relieved for his appearance, she might have been a little angry with such display of possessiveness, but there was something strange in Brian's appearance at their home.

"Cassidy," Rafael said to acknowledge the other man.

"Barba," They had never been known to like each other.

"So, what were you saying?" Olivia tried to ease the tension.

"Aaa... ah yes. That was good stuff. Nice weather, all the baseball I wanted... but it wasn't my thing."

"I get it." Olivia smiled at him with a sympathetic glance.

"I knew you would." Brian smiled too. "You know I was really surprised when I heard about you two."

"Yeah," Olivia said holding Rafael's hand.

"It's way too late, but congratulations," Brian said.

"Thanks."

"Thanks, really. And what I'm going to say may sound a bit spiteful but how did you know where we live?" Rafael had never kept tabs with whom Olivia was friends with, but after Brian left all those years back she had never mentioned him, and now finding him at their home was a bit weird. But what bothered him most was Olivia's question face. He had thought she would reprimand him or something for his question, and instead she stood there frozen.

"Actually," Olivia said. "That's a really good question."

"The DA's office was looking for an investigator," Brian said like it was explanation enough.

"Good for you, but that doesn't explain why you are here. Not that I'm not happy to see you." Olivia said.

"Yeah... It's just... I've been working for them for the past six months."

"And you come here now?" Olivia asked.

"They caught a child abuse case, and SVU had to recuse themselves."

"That's odd," Olivia said, and Rafael could hear the gears in her mind starting to go crazy wanting to know why just like his own.

"Yeah... and I'm sorry, really sorry but the allegations are against both of you."

"What?" Olivia asked after a few seconds of silence, not believing what she had heard.

"I'm sorry," Cassidy said somewhat remorseful.

"So you're giving us a heads up?" Rafael asked.

"What the hell is this Brian?" Olivia said not giving him the time to answer Rafael's question. "What's this about?"

"Liv..." He sighed. "You know how these things go. Child abuse cases...they are watched under the microscope. And given..." Brian stopped before he ended the phrase.

"And given what?" Rafael asked.

"Wow...is it because I'm a cop?"

"Liv," Brian sighed again.

"Mommy!" Noah came to them. "Papi!" Apparently, neither of the kids had heard Rafael.

"Hey buddy," Brian tried to kneel in front of him.

"No, no way." Rafael quickly grabbed Noah in his arms putting his body in the middle, starting to talk to Noah and leaving the doorway. He didn't want to leave Olivia, but he also wanted to keep the kids away.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be here. I felt bad, I needed to tell you before you would be formally notified." Brian words seemed genuine.

"So, should I say thank you?" Olivia's hand went to her face.

"No... I... I think it's better if I leave. I'm really sorry. I know you didn't do anything." Brian said before he left, but he didn't get any answer from Olivia.

Olivia closed the door slowly and made her way to the table seeing and thanking Rafael's good thinking of taking the kids to their rooms. She grabbed the now almost empty bowls of melting ice-cream to carry them to the kitchen. When she left them inside the sink, the tears had already started, and she had to cover her mouth with her hand to mutter her sobs.

It was how Rafael found her. After leaving the kids entertained with their toys, he came back and found her crying alone in the kitchen.

"Shhh..." He said as he gathered her between his arms, he started to draw soothing circles on her back and kissed her hair. "It's ok. It'll be ok." To Rafael, it was the only possible scenario.

"How do you know it?" Olivia whispered.

"Because we haven't done anything wrong." Olivia kept crying as Rafael's soothing words left his mouth trying to console both of them.

After a while, her sobs started to die down.

"Go take a shower, and I'll go read to the kids." Rafael offered her. "How does that sound?"

"I'll go with you." Olivia's hands were still grasping Rafael's blue vest.

"Mi amor," his hand was still caressing her cheek, and the other was holding her by her waist. "Your face is all red." He said and kissed her nose.

"Oh!"

"Yeah, oh!" Rafael smiled a little.

"Ok then." Slowly they separated from each other, and he watched her go towards their room.

…

Rafael had managed to convince Olivia to take a shower while he took care of the bedtime story. They had tried to stay cheerful for the kids, but he had gotten the feeling that they had not succeeded.

"What story do you want tonight?" He asked the kids as he entered the boys' room, but when he didn't hear any cheerful request, he knew there was something wrong. Rafael looked to their beds finding his kids sitting on Noah's bed. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked them as he went to sit with them.

"We don't want a story tonight," Noah said looking at Rafael seriously.

"What? Why?" Rafael asked giving them time to answer when they wanted.

"We heard mommy cry," Graham confessed, and Rafael had to swallow the comment he had wanted to say.

"Oh... I'm so sorry." Rafael said opening his arms. "Come here. I need a group hug." He said it for the kids, but at the same time, he needed the comfort they provided.

"Is mommy sad?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah."

"Papi?" Noah called him.

"What mijo?"

"Tú también estás triste? (Are you sad too?)" They were much too perceptive for their own good.

"Si. (Yes)" Rafael admitted, there was no point of lying to them. "But you don't have to worry about it. Mommy and I, we'll sort it all, ok?" He felt them nod against him.

"¿Es culpa mía? (Is it my fault?)" Noah asked surprising Rafael.

"Why would you say that, of course is not your fault."

"But..."

"What is it mijo?" His hand felt so big caressing Noah's messy hair.

"I told her I didn't want her to be my mommy. That I wanted Lucy to be my mommy."

"Mijo." He pushed Noah against his chest as his son started to cry.

"Didn't you tell mommy you were sorry, that you didn't mean it?" Rafael asked him, despite knowing he had done it a few nights ago.

"Yes."

"Then she forgave you and it's not your fault." Rafael kissed Noah's hair first, and then Graham's and Sarah's.

"Are you still sure about story time?" Rafael asked feeling another wave of nodding against him. "Ok," He knew there was no way he would leave the kids when they felt so distressed. "I don't want any of you to take this as precedent," He knew they didn't understand that kind of word yet, but it was never too soon to start. "Puppy pile tonight on mommy and papi's bed. Come on." He put them on the floor, trying not to think about the lack of happy screams when either he or Olivia let them sleep with them all cramped.

Quickly they moved from one bedroom to another finding Olivia already showered and in her pyjamas.

"Hey," She saw them enter the room, and the kids started to make their place on the bed.

"I didn't have the heart to make them sleep in their beds. They heard us before." Rafael didn't have to explain they had heard her cry.

"Oh!" Olivia said. "No, there's no problem, Actually," She said taking Rafael's hand. "It's perfect, we'll all feel better. Thank you."

"Te amo. (I love you.)"

"I love you too," She said kissing him chastely before she went to the kids, trying to pull them all as close as possible leaving them in the middle of the bed.

Rafael stood there for a few seconds, looking at his family and prayed that he would be able to see the same image for many years to come.


	46. Chapter 46

_Hello there!_

 _Here's the next one, I hope you'll like it. Thank you all for your support and to Lyssa813 for her amazing beta-reading._

* * *

 _Papa bear._

After all the things they were being put through, the only thing he didn't need now was to be called to come to Noah's school. Having to face the woman who had accused he and Olivia of child abuse alone was the last thing Rafael would like to be doing. But, as usual, it wasn't his lucky day, and Olivia hadn't managed to leave work yet.

The teacher hadn't told him much over the phone, only voicing her concern after a few days of odd behavior on Noah's part, and apparently, today had been too much to overlook.

The door stood in front of him, closed, and looking like it was hell's door.

After a deep breath, and after silently counting until ten, Rafael knocked and opened the door to Noah's classroom to find a young woman with a polite smile waiting for him.

"Mr. Barba." She greeted him politely.

"Good evening."

"Is your wife not coming?" She asked, she seemed innocent but Rafael could see her unhappy glare when she only saw him.

"She's trying, but she got held up at the precinct."

"Oh," she didn't say anything else for a few seconds, but the visible tension in her body grew. "It would be good if she was here too." The smile was still on her face, but her words were a bit too harsh, and Rafael had to bite his tongue. He was trying to use Olivia's words that calmed him the last few times he lost his cool in order to stay calm in this very moment.

"She will be here as soon as she can but today wasn't a good day."

"Isn't it always." She murmured, and Rafael bit his tongue. "Well, I suppose you'll want to start, or do you want to wait for her?"

"We can start." Rafael tried to smile politely, but there was no way he was going to be here any more time that was strictly necessary. "You said there was a problem with Noah today?" He was trying not to be prejudicial, but he was having a hard time.

"Well, it hasn't been only today. For the past few days, he has been withdrawn, not wanting to interact with the other kids, prone to get easily mad. However today he hit another boy when he tried to play with him and we have a zero tolerance policy with that kind of behaviour. I've tried to talk to him, but I didn't get any response from him. I'm seriously concerned."

"Yeah," he said. One of Rafael's hands went to his nose, pinching his nasal septum, and he felt the wrinkles in his forehead grow deeper.

"Is that all you have to say, Mr. Barba?" She asked sternly. Maybe she had thought he would start apologizing and asking for help.

"Did you ask him the same way you did when he had the bruise on his arm?" He had raised his voice as he finally lost his cool. He would tell Olivia he had tried and failed. However all these feelings he had kept confined were bound to explode at some point.

"I beg your pardon?!" The woman was astonished at his words.

"You know what I'm talking about." He didn't care anymore about how much his words could hurt. "It was the way you questioned him what started all this. I suppose you had the best intentions, but when you ask a boy of Noah's age who did something he's going to answer earnestly not taking care in the how happened. It's your job to ask about it. To ask when it happened or why. Not just assume there's abuse and neglect behind a single bruise." He rattled not letting her say anything to contradict his words. "Because of that there's an investigation and a trial going on, there's been tension at home, and I assume because of that Noah's been behaving like this here. God," He took a deep breath. "I was this close to taking him away from this school."

It was true, if it hadn't been for Olivia's smart words reminding him about the closeness to their home and Graham's and Sarah's daycare, and a good school program, he would have done it. Not taking care of how much time it had taken them to choose the school in the first place.

"Rafael." Olivia's voice interrupted his diatribe. She was standing by the door looking at him furiously. "I'm sorry for being late." She said to the teacher, not giving Rafael any other glance as she came to stand beside him.

She started to talk to the teacher, trying to repair what damage he had done, being the diplomatic parent this time. Rafael didn't hear anything, his feelings still boiling too close to the surface.

"We'll talk to him." He heard but didn't know how much time had passed since Olivia had entered the room.

"It's the school rules. If it happens again, I have my hands tied." The teacher said. "And I'm sorry too for what it's worth."

"It's ok. You'll have more experience for the next time." Olivia accepted the apology. "We'll get going now and thank you for your concern and not leveling harsher consequences."

The exchanged a few more farewells, and Rafael felt how Olivia dragged him outside the school, letting the sunlight bathe them.

"Rafa..." Olivia murmured, entwining their fingers so they could walk holding hands.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"About what you said to her or that I caught you?" He couldn't hide anything from her.

"How much did you hear?" He asked not wanting to answer her question.

"How about all of it. I texted you ten minutes after I told you I was held up that I wasn't anymore. Then I texted you to meet outside the school, but you didn't look at your phone."

"No, I didn't."

"Rafa..."

"I tried to stay calm Liv, but I failed." He said unable to look at her.

"And how hard did you try? Because it didn't seem like you had been there for a very long time."

"Maybe not enough." He didn't like admitting it, but he had to give her something.

"You could say so." Her sarcasm was thick on her voice, the same as her anger towards him.

"Liv, Livy..." He kept that one for when he was in trouble. "Please, I just..."

"What?" At least she hadn't withdrawn her hand.

"This mess it started with her."

"It started with me." Olivia murmured. "I hope you are feeling better now."

"Olivia..."

"Don't try to say anything, I wasn't looking at him."

"I think every parent in the world has made some mistake when they are taking care of their children."

"Now you are an expert." She said as she glared at him.

"No, I am just using the words you once told me," he said before kissing her knuckles. "You made a mistake, ok. You handled it and thank God it all ended in just a scare. But we both know that that teacher could have done a better job when she questioned Noah." They had had the same exact conversation too many times since the whole ordeal happened.

"Please promise me the next time you'll try to keep your papa bear instincts a bit more controlled," Olivia said trying to lighten the mood and make him smile. She wanted to stop thinking about how bad it could have been for a little while. She thought about it enough every night when she couldn't fall asleep.

"Pot meet kettle, mi amor (My love)." In some ways, they were very much alike.

"Touché," she said smiling. "Let's make a deal then."

"I'm all ears."

"We'll wait for each other from now on, so we'll keep each other controlled."

"It's not a bad idea."

"When do I have bad ideas," Olivia said, and Rafael looked at her knowingly.

"What about... the dancing in the shower." He said making them both remember the night he had to dress her and take her to the hospital.

"That was the exception."

"The exception to the rule?" He said laughing. "Good try mi amor. I'm going to remind you of it always." Despite the fear and concern they both harboured, to have a bit of banter between them was a lifesaver.

"How lucky I am." And she was, she would have never thought she could have the relationship they shared.

"Let's be sneaky," Rafael said pointing at a small diner on the other sidewalk. "Let's have breakfast for lunch." Comfort food was the best, and having him beside her was the best medicine of all.

"I could eat some pancakes." Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they forgot for a little while what was happening to them.


	47. Chapter 47

_Hello there!_

 _I hope you all had a good Christmas!_

 _Here's the next chapter, I hope you'll like it. Thank you all for your support and comments, and to my betta Lyssa813!_

* * *

 _Brian II_

Rafael and Olivia were leaving Olivia's office after having a quick lunch date. He had arrived after Amanda had confided in her about Mike Glasky's words after he had more than a few drinks, while they were trying to manage Savannah Ross's mess of a case. Amanda seemed somewhat distraught over the comments requiring Olivia to be her shoulder to cry on.

Now Liv was supposed to go talk with the young woman to try and clear up some unclear parts of her story while Rafael went back to his office. However she would rather go with Rafael, take their kids and forget everything case related for a little while.

More importantly the last thing she wanted to see right now, in the middle of the chaotic case, was the face of the man that might be a huge factor in being charged with child abuse accusations coming from the elevator.

Rafael stood in front of her trying to shield her, and this time she wasn't going to say anything about his overprotective actions.

"Let me talk to her!" Olivia thought that Brian should know a little better than to bark orders at an angry Rafael, but Brian's self-preservation instincts had never been the best.

"You have quite the pair of balls to come here after what you have done." Rafael shouted, beyond angry with him.

"What are you talking about?"

"What the hell Brian! You want to mess with me, ok, but with my son, my family. Man, that's beyond despicable, even for you." Neither she nor Rafael cared if they were in the middle of the precinct making a scene.

"With Noah. What are you talking about?"

"Now you'll tell us you didn't do anything." Rafael mocked him.

"Didn't you talk with Michelle from the DA's office?" Olivia asked, and she could see how quickly Brian's face paled. Apparently, he had come to see her hoping she wouldn't know about it.

"I work with her, we talk every day." Neither Rafael or Olivia were buying his words.

"Brian," Olivia shouted with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, hey... come on Liv please don't get upset. Alright... ok... I'm sorry." Brian said trying to calm her.

"Now you're sorry." Rafael mocked him again.

"We were having a couple of drinks after work, and we started to talk about how hard it is to raise kids on the job. And the next thing I knew your name came in."

"Along with William Lewis apparently too." Olivia snapped at him. She had really thought they had ended their relationship on good terms, remaining friends. "And how I was kidnapped and assaulted by him. Of how I almost killed him, of how I aimed my gun at you one night because you surprised me. And how all that makes me a crappy mother." Olivia yelled angrily at Brian.

"No, no, no,... Liv you have to believe me."

"Sorry if I find that hard to fathom." Olivia spat back at him.

"I told her how strong you are."

"And what then you let it slip that I needed a shrink?"

"You never talked to me!" Brian let his true colours come out. "You only talked to him." His hate towards Rafael was evident in his words. "When they told me about you two... God, I asked myself just how long had you two been hooking up when I was still here." She acted on instinct, stopping Rafael's fist just before it landed on Brian's face.

"He's not worth it." She said to Rafael, because Rafael being arrested for assault was not something they needed to deal with on top of the child abuse allegations. She only got a low grumble as an answer, but he entwined their hands.

"You need to leave," Olivia said not wanting to see him ever again.

"Please, I'm sorry." Brian tried to placate her with his hands up in defeat. "I was just trying to help you, ok. I told her how you should be the last person put under an investigation. I told her what a great mom you are."

"I... need to go," Olivia said, needing fresh air, not caring for Brian's words. Not caring if Rafael followed her, she tried to leave, but Brian attempted to stop her.

Pushing his hands away, Olivia looked at him with disgust still not believing he had betrayed her. "Well... you know what, next time, don't help me." Olivia tried to move again, and Brian tried to hold her again, but Rafael's body came between them, giving her the help she needed to leave.

"Try again," Rafael said. "This time she's not here to stop me. I might be shorter, but I know how to throw a punch."

"Come on, man," Brian said.

"No, what you are going to do is leave, and never contact us again," Rafael said. "She doesn't need people like you, that turn their back on her because they are self-deprecating jealous assholes like yourself."

Normally, Rafael would have felt a sense of relief after putting him in his place, but his worry for Olivia was more important. He left searching for her, hoping that Fin and Mike would help Brian find the door if he refused to leave.

Not knowing where Olivia had gone, he decided to try his luck and go to the front of the precinct. He found her there, with her back resting on one of the brick walls.

"Liv," Rafael said as he went to take her hand, but he got a huge surprise and disappointment when she backed away from his touch.

"No," She said shaking her head, with barely contained tears in her eyes.

"Liv,"

"No. I need one of your hugs more than life itself right now, but if you touch me, I'll start crying and then, you'll cry too." He might not cry often, but tears weren't strange to him. "I want nothing more to leave with you right now but there is a young woman who needs me, she's already been betrayed by the system enough times."

"Ok," He agreed, but his hands tingled with the need to touch her. "Are you ok?"

"No, I'm not," Olivia said. "But he doesn't deserve my tears, at least not right now." Rafael saw her close her eyes for a moment and the tingling in his hands grew, he put them inside the pockets of his trousers, trying to give her the space she needed.

"Will you be ok on your own?" He knew he had a meeting in about half an hour, but he had to ask anyway.

"I'll have to be."

"Ok."

"I need to go," Olivia said biting her lip.

"Ok." But neither of them moved. "Hey," Rafael said after a few seconds. "You are a fearsome warrior." At least he managed to put a smile on Olivia's lips. "It's the truth. And we are going to survive, and get through all this mess, because there is no other option for us. Are you with me?"

"Yeah."

"Good." He said smirking. He couldn't forget what had just happened to them but looking at Olivia's eyes, he could see the light in the middle of the storm.

Quickly, without letting her retreat again, he grabbed her hand and pulled her against him to put a quick kiss on her lips.

"Te amo. (I love you). I'll see you at home."

"Love you too." They didn't exchange any more words, as she watched Rafael's retreating back.


	48. Chapter 48

_Hello there!_

 _This one is a bit short, but I loved the scene on the TV episode and I felt the need to do my own version. A few parts of the dialogue belongs to the series._

 _The previous chapter also has a few bits of the TV episode dialogue. Sorry, I forgot to write the warning._

 _I hope you will like the chapter! Thank you all for your support and comments! And to my beta Lyssa813! :D_

* * *

 _Silly._

Olivia was thrilled. Her feelings were the perfect mix of pure happiness and relief. The charges against her and Rafael were dropped, and for the first time since she had known about them, she could breathe. Her joy oozed from her pores and her happiness was so high she couldn't stop grinning or giggling at every little thing she saw or heard. It didn't matter to her if it was actually funny or not.

Now, after a few moments of mischief throughout the afternoon, Sarah was sleeping in her bedroom after losing her battle against her sleepiness. Rafael was still under the water spray as he had been the last one of them to take a shower after a little culinary mishap in the kitchen. And Olivia was sitting between her boys, watching old cartoons on the tv, and having the time of her life.

Rafael and her had been holding hands under the table in front of the judge when she had been told the charges were being dropped. If it hadn't been for that hold he had on her, Olivia didn't know if she would have believed her ears. From there it had been a burst of happiness and joy, as they left the courtroom planning how they would spend the afternoon with the kids. Neither of them contemplating any other way to celebrate that didn't include the kids.

"He's so silly!" Noah said laughing. And Olivia couldn't stop her chuckle at her son's words.

"Yeah, he absolutely is." Olivia said, as she hugged her boys closer to her. But their little bubble was broken by her ringing phone. Trying not to disturb the boys much, she managed to grab it, and she saw it was Fin who was calling her.

"Work?" Noah asked in a low voice like he was scared to ask. Olivia looked at him, and then at Graham, seeing in their eyes their wish for her to stay with them.

"You know what..." She said, not giving a second glance to the phone as she put it on the table again. "If it's important, he'll call back." She said making her boys' faces light up with joy.

After getting their positions on the couch back, Olivia slowly moved the arm, that was hugging Graham, towards the forgotten bowl of ice-cream near her legs. From the corner of her eye, she saw how Graham was about to call her, but she made him a silent signal to stay quiet while she smirked at him with mischief, glad that Noah hadn't noticed them. Without losing any more time she grabbed a spoonful of ice-cream, and quickly she smashed it against Noah's nose.

The boy squawked with shock and stared at his mother like he could not believe what she had done. Olivia was laughing with Graham while Noah touched the ice-cream on his face with his hands still stunned. Noah, not wanting to be the only one covered in ice-cream bounced towards his mother and brother to put his dirty hands on their faces, starting an food fight.

Rafael had enjoyed a long and hot shower before he joined them. Once he had stopped the water, he had dressed quickly, and he had left the bathroom with a towel on his shoulders still drying his hair, slowly making his way towards the living room, until the screams made him stop and look at what was happening.

"What's going on in here?" He asked curiously amused. It wasn't every day when he caught his wife and kids in a messy fight.

"It was mommy!" Noah yelled at him, and Olivia poked at his ribs making him laugh even more.

"You rat, we're supposed to have each other's backs," Olivia said making them all laugh.

Rafael moved closer to them and saw the mess of ice-cream.

"And I'm told I'm the childish one." He muttered, mostly to himself, chuckling, and looking at them adoringly. "Is it safe to sit?" He asked as it looked like the fight had stopped.

"Yeah, sure," Olivia said looking at him a little bit too intensely. He sat warily beside Graham, so he was between he and Olivia. He still didn't trust them to not out ice-cream on him.

"Hey... shouldn't we..." He had wanted to ask if they should go and clean the kids, but before he could say it out loud, he felt a body mash against him and a sticky hand rub against his cheek. It wasn't much later when a second one started to do the same on his other side. "Come on!" He said not making any real try to move the boys from him. "I literally just left the shower. That's beyond cruel." He said chuckling, letting the boys have their fun at his expense. "Ok, ok... you win." He said as he gently pushed them away. "Happy now?" He asked them and saw three faces happily nod at him. "Just remember," He said smiling, looking at each of them. "My revenge is going to be brutal." He threatened them, making them laugh.

Despite the mess they all were, Rafael couldn't be happier. Since he had heard the judge words, he had been walking on a cloud. And now, he was looking at his wife and boys. They were smiling and giggling, just being happy. And he couldn't imagine any other way to spend the rest of his life.


	49. Chapter 49

_Hey there!_

 _Here's the next one. It also has bits of the episode dialogue. I hope you'll like it, and that I hear some opinions about it! Thank you all for the support and to Lyssa813 for her beta-reading!_

* * *

 _First step._

If he wanted to arrive faster, he would need to start running. It wouldn't be the best decision, after all, his suit and the pair of fine Italian leather loafers he had chosen in the morning weren't the best running attire. And it wasn't a life or death situation either. But after ending a call with Olivia where she had been crying, and the only words he had managed to understand had been Noah, relative, and to come, it was almost a life or death situation.

In the end, he reached the elevator pretty quickly. He had been heading towards Olivia's office when she had called. But as the elevator slowly made its ascent, his legs were trembling with nervousness.

The door opened after a short loud noise. In his need to reach Olivia, he had been prepared to jump as soon as he heard the elevator's doors open, but the presence of a bigger body in front of him made him stop.

Once they both stopped, the two bodies didn't have much more than a few inches between them.

"Sorry," Rafael knew the voice, and after opening his eyes he saw Trevor Langan's face. It was that moment that a little light bulb went off in his head. There was no way that Olivia's crying and this man weren't related. In the end, the charges against them had been dropped a few days ago, so there was no known reason to him to find him here.

"What did you do?" He might have sounded more angrier than worried, but the thin line Trevor's lips formed gave him chills.

"I think it's better if you talk with Olivia." Trevor's voice was calm like he was trying to pacify him.

"Why?"

"Please. Go talk to her, and then, if you want you can call me, and chew me out, I'll let you. She needs you now." Rafael was so shocked by the other man's words that he didn't put a second thought in staying in front of him to keep up his questioning.

"Ok." He murmured, and it took him a few seconds to start walking again. Each second fearing more and more what he was going to find.

At first, he didn't see anything he hadn't imagined. After a quick knock on her office door letting her know it was him, he went inside. He found her sitting on the couch with her face hidden in her hands.

"Liv," His voice was a mere whisper, but it was enough to make her look at him. "Mi amor." His heart hurt for her. Her eyes were red, and there were still tears falling from her eyes.

"Come here," she whispered brokenly. He didn't waste any more time, quickly sitting beside her, pulling her close and engulfing her in a crushing hug, and Olivia broke again.

Rafael felt her shake just before he heard her sobs. Rubbing soothing circles on her back, the words started to slip from his lips trying to comfort her as much as he could. Giving her the space and time she needed to let it all out.

Eventually, her sobs started to die down, but her hands were still clinging to him not letting him pull away to look at her. Time passed, neither of them could not say how much, with the silence in the room surrounding them, until Olivia started to squirm a little, moving enough to look at him but without leaving the safe space of his arms.

"What happened?" Rafael asked. "I saw Langan at the elevator." He didn't want to pressure her, but he needed to know what was going on. "And as much as I loved the news about the charges being dropped, there has to be something else." Olivia bit her lower lip, as Rafael's hand went to her hair, trying to put a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. "And I'm terrified to ask what has happened to make you cry like this."

"Apparently Noah has a living biological relative." Her words were like a knife stabbing him in his heart.

"What?"

"Yeah, it's Ellie's mother."

"I'm going to kill him. It was his job to find these kinds of things." Rafael said trying to stand up from the couch, but Olivia stopped him.

"I already let him have it, before I lost it." She entwined their hands to keep each other grounded.

"And what does she want?" Rafael feared the answer to that question.

"She's trying to vacate the adoption. She alleges she has serious fears about our parenting ability after the abuse allegations."

"That has been dropped." Rafael clarified.

"Yeah."

"How did she find about it?"

"Private investigator."

"It's been too long to vacate an adoption."

"I know. But..."

"In New York grandparents can have visitations rights."

"That's when I started to cry, and when I called you."

"Dios mio (My God)," Rafael murmured. "I suppose we'll have to go to family court again soon."

"I believe so."

"Do we have a date yet?"

"Trevor said he'd call me tomorrow."

"Ok."

"Rafa, it's not..."

"Don't tell me it's not his fault. I'm still not rational enough to manage those words." Rafael said as he hid his face in Olivia's neck.

"We'll survive. Together." Olivia said as it was her turn to offer physical comfort.

"Shouldn't I be the one saying those words?"

"I think that you need them more than me right now." She made him laugh despite their despair.

Sharing physical comfort, they sat on the couch for a few minutes trying to digest the new information.

"We could use a bit of fresh air." Olivia offered, feeling the need to leave her office.

"I could do without working anymore today. What do you say?" Rafael asked. "Noah's school ends in an hour. We could go pick him up and spend the afternoon with the kids."

"You don't have work?" Olivia asked she had only been doing paperwork today.

"I'm not scheduled in court, and Carmen can reschedule the only meeting I had," Rafael explained. "What do you say?"

"That sounds like a fantastic plan."

"What are we going to do?" Rafael asked as they walked through the city streets.

"Take one step at a time." Olivia offered. "I mean, after what we have just been put through, I think we deserve a day with some kind of normalcy. And when Trevor calls us tomorrow, it's going to be a new day."

"But what about..." Rafael's mind was full of unanswered questions. He didn't like this feeling, and he didn't usually manage situations properly when he felt like this.

"I know my love." Olivia squeezed his hand. "I have those questions in my mind too. But if we keep talking about it, I'm going to start crying again. And I wouldn't want Noah to see me like this."

"Yeah, it isn't a pretty sight." He said, and Olivia only managed to look at him a little offended. "I know, I'm sorry. Bad joke." He offered. "But you are right. Tomorrow it's going to be a new day. So, let's go pick up our boy." Rafael kissed her on the cheek before he started to talk about everything. He was trying really hard to keep their minds occupied, and Olivia could only love him more for that.

…

Despite all they endured that day, they had managed to have a pretty good afternoon, full of their kids' antics and with a lot of games, that had ended with pizza for dinner. Now Rafael was taking care of the bedtime story as the boys had asked for Ferdinand. The book was in Spanish, and they preferred Rafael's accent.

She had been cleaning what they had left in the kitchen when someone knocked at their door. It was a bit unusual, not only was it at an odd hour, but also none of his friends or family had called or messaged them to let them know they were stopping by.

Olivia went to open the door thinking that maybe it was one of the neighbours needing something. But she found an unknown woman on the other side. They were of similar height, she wore her brown hair long and straight, and her face was somehow familiar.

"Good evening." The other woman said.

"Good evening," Olivia said. "How can I help you?" Olivia said trying not to flinch under the other woman's stare.

"I'm Sheila Porter. I'm just here to let you know I'll be staying in the city."

Olivia stood frozen, not knowing what to do or say, until she felt a presence behind her, and Rafael's hand touched her shoulder. Apparently, he had heard there was someone at the door, and after the Brian incident, he had quickly come to see what was happening.

"Any contact is going to be between our lawyers. Good night." He said before closing the door on the woman's face. "Olivia." He called her, moving her so she stood in front of him, putting his hands on her cheeks to make her look at him. "You ok?"

"I just asked for one night." She said as she started to cry for the second time on the same day.

"I know. I'm sorry." He said before hugging her. "The kids are sleeping. Let's go to bed." He said as he started to push her lightly towards their bedroom. "We'll survive." He used the same words she had used previously in the afternoon to try to bring some comfort. "We'll survive." It was going to become their new mantra.


	50. Chapter 50

_Hello there! I'm sorry for the delay, but here is the next one. I'm sorry if it's a bit on the short side._

 _Thank you all for your support and comments, and to my beta Lyssa813._

* * *

 _Collateral damage._

Rafael saw Sonny take Laurel away to be processed.

"Can you manage without her tomorrow?" Rafael said to Fin, both of them still standing outside the interrogation room.

"Yeah."

"Good." Sometimes multiple words weren't needed to be spoken between the two men.

"Take her home," Fin said as he left clasping Rafael's shoulder in silent support.

Slowly he went to the open door of the interrogation room, and he saw her without anything between them. Olivia was sitting on one of the cold metal chairs in the room, alone, hiding her crying eyes behind her hands trying to be as silent as possible.

"Liv," Rafael said as he kneeled in front of her, not caring if he ruined his suit pants. "Liv," He tried to be as gentle as possible. "Hey," Finally she looked at him, and his heart hurt for her. He hadn't wanted her to continue with the interrogation. He never wanted her to be hurt.

"Hey," Olivia managed to say.

"Do you want to go home?" There was no need to ask if she was fine because it was evident she was not. Being forced to remember what she had felt her whole childhood wasn't a walk in the park.

"Yes."

From there they barely talked, exchanging only a few words between them as they went to get their car to go home, not breaking the hold of their hands for more than a few seconds each time either of them needed more than one hand to do something.

The kids were already sleeping, and Lucy left quickly, she already grossly knew what had happened thanks to Rafael's texts.

Not having the stomach for food, they changed into their pyjamas and met in the middle of the bed under the covers, using the darkness as a shield. Despite knowing each other so well, sometimes the darkness could be a huge help to start a conversation.

"How are you?" Rafael asked. He knew it was a foolish question, but he needed to know what was going inside Olivia's head.

"I don't know." It was the only thing she could offer. "She played me, and I let her."

"Liv,"

"It's the truth, Rafa. We both know it." He knew, but he didn't want her to keep whipping herself.

"Let's say it's true." Rafael knew there was no way she was going to change her mind.

"It's true."

"But there is one thing she was wrong about, really, really wrong. You are not collateral damage." Rafael felt how Olivia tightened her hold on him, not leaving an inch of space between them. "We are adults enough to say that your birth circumstances weren't the best ones, but you've never been that. And I truly want you to know it and accept it."

"Rafa..."

"Your are not." He could feel his voice tremble due to having his emotions so close to the surface. "You are not, despite what that woman said and despite what your mother said to you all those years ago." He stopped for a second, letting his words setting in both of them. "Because you are a wonderful and amazing human being, and that kind of person could never be that." He didn't want to repeat the words out loud. They had already done enough damage in one night.

Rafael tucked Olivia against him more tightly, still scared of losing her after what had happened a few hours prior.

"Liv?" He called her after not getting any word from her.

"I need time." It was the only thing she could offer right now. "The feelings she made come back are still too fresh."

"Ok," The both knew neither of them did well when they were pushed too much.

"But I want you to promise me one thing."

"Anything." Rafael felt her tiny smile at his word on his skin.

"Why don't you listen before agree with what I haven't asked you yet?"

"Never." If being silly was what Olivia needed to feel a little better, it was what he was going to do.

"I love you." She said kissing his jawbone.

"Love you too." He kissed her hair.

"Promise me we'll never let the kids feel that way." She might have been the one facing the turmoil of childhood buried feelings, but she wasn't the only one in the room with them. They both had a broken childhoods that caused a heavy weight on their chest.

Rafael stood silent for a few seconds, fighting with his own tears.

"I promise you." He said with his trembling voice, as he rested his forehead against her hair, both of them clinging into each other. "I promise you."

They stayed like this, not moving an inch, for a while, giving each other the comfort they needed, letting their actions speak louder than their words.

After a while, Olivia's voice broke the silence surrounding them.

"I'm sorry." Olivia's voice sounded a little too sheepish for his taste, after what they had shared. But between the darkness of the room and how she was resting on his shoulder, he couldn't see her face to confirm that feeling.

"For what?" Rafael asked curiously.

"For closing the blinds." At first, she only got a growl as an answer. "I wasn't in my right mind."

"I hate it when you do that," Rafael complained.

"Do what?" The knew each other too well to try to feign innocence.

"Don't. You know what I'm talking about, mi amor. Saying you are sorry before I get my chance to speak my mind is a low blow." Rafael said making her chuckle, loving hearing her laugh. It always brought him a great deal of comfort to listen to her laugh, even more, right now when she was dealing with emotions of blame, guilt, and a troubled self-esteem for something that hadn't been her fault but she had paid the consequences anyway."But I'll forgive you this time." Rafael murmured. "I talked with Fin. I got you a free day tomorrow."

"Spend it with me." She urged him.

"Sure. Do you want to do something special?"

"I don't know," Olivia said. "We can think about it tomorrow." She offered.

"Yeah, tomorrow." He said, hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.


	51. Chapter 51

_Hello there! Here's the next one. This one is a bit longer and I hope you'll like it._

 _Thank you all for your comments and support, and to my beta Lyssa813._

* * *

 _Second step._

Life was good. Well, as good as it could be. At least, that was what Olivia thought.

It was a sunny Sunday, despite the cold November they were facing, and she was doing something she would have never thought possible a few weeks ago. She was chopping vegetables with Sheila, while Rita was moving behind them in the kitchen. Rafael, Fin and the kids were having a good time in the living room. The rest of the squad was due to arrive anytime.

In theory, they all had a free weekend, and they had decided to celebrate. Due to the Tutuola-Calhoun's kitchen still being under construction after the small fire Seth and Cole had caused, where no one had been hurt, the Barba-Benson's home had been the chosen one.

They had a lot of things to celebrate.

Amanda only had two more months of pregnancy, and then they would all meet Hannah. It had only been a week since she and Sonny had finally agreed on the name of their second daughter. Rita had gotten an important job offer in a private lawyer's office. They did a lot of pro-bono work, and it would let her properly change the side of the law in which she wanted to work, letting her be the voice of the victims. Mike and Casey had welcomed their twins in the past few months, turning Chief Dodds into a lovesick puppy.

All the kids were growing up beautifully.

Lucia had recently started a relationship with a good man from her neighborhood, a man Rafael still didn't know existed. But Lucia was happy, and Olivia wasn't feeling too regretful for keeping her husband in the dark, seeing how Lucia was enjoying the first steps of her secret relationship.

While she and Rafael were doing quite good despite all they had faced in the past few months. Despite how they were still working in their last blow, with Sheila Porter coming into their lives, it seemed like all was meant to settle down.

Despite Rafael's refusal at first, and then reticence, they had decided to open the door of their home to Sheila, and let her meet Noah and the rest of them. Mainly because, despite knowing blood wasn't everything, she didn't want to be the one to deny her son a chance to meet a blood relative. With the rocky start they all have had, it was a bit hard to bond.

Misunderstandings had been, and were still easy to be set, prejudices were easy to put in the other's attitude, but the future didn't look as dark as it had looked a couple of months before.

The first visits had been hard and tense. Sheila hadn't known how to behave with her, Rafael or the kids, and it had been the same for them. Slowly they had progressed, but it was still a work in progress. Sheila was still a little bit colder to Graham and Sarah, making Noah's protective instincts kick in and be wary of her. And when that happened the three of them started to talk in Spanish, isolating Sheila. It had gotten better, it happened less and less, but they still changed the language too easily for Olivia's liking.

It also hadn't helped Lucia's relationship with the kids. They had met during one of Lucia's surprise visits that it had coincided with one of Sheila's. It wasn't anyone's fault if the kids preferred Lucia. They had known her since they were babies. But it hadn't gone well, and today was the first time both women would see each other since that afternoon a few weeks back.

"Liv did you buy the vanilla extract?" Rita asked while looking at the pantry's shelves, she had wanted to bake something for dessert.

"Lucia is bringing it. She should be here in..." Olivia looked at the kitchen's clock to see what time it was when they heard the door open, and a mix of voices came into the house. Apparently, the rest of them had met in the street.

"How many are we going to be?" Sheila asked curiously. "I don't know how you manage with so little space. My husband and I had a full house and only one kid, and sometimes it felt so small." Olivia could see she was trying, but the words she chose weren't usually the best ones to express her thoughts.

"Well, we love to be on top of each other," Olivia said crossing glances with a surprised Rita after she heard what the other woman said.

"It's the best way to live," Rita said. "Liv, where do you want the meat?"

"Leave it on the countertop. Lucia it's going to cook it. The kids asked for ropa vieja." Olivia said.

"Goodbye diet!" Rita said laughing. "I love the way that woman cooks."

"Rafael's is amazing, but Lucia's has something special too. I'm sorry I didn't taste Rafa's abuelita's."

"That was heaven," Rita said remembering the many times she had been invited to the Barba's household for dinner.

"What's that?" Sheila asked.

"It's a Cuban dish with boiled meat and vegetables that we accompany with rice. It's amazing." Olivia tried to describe it, but she saw Sheila's face when she said, Cuban. And she wasn't sure if she would see Sheila with a dish of the food.

"Oh!," Sheila said. "I'm dying to try it." But she did not succeed in hiding her disdain.

Despite the awkward moment, they kept working and exchanging some small talk but that was mostly between Olivia and Rita.

At some point Rita left, leaving Sheila and Olivia alone until Sheila told her she was going to the bathroom. And Olivia sadly thought it would be best if Sheila wasn't in the kitchen when Lucia entered.

"Hi!" Olivia heard a sweet voice she knew perfectly. It's was Graham's. Back in September, he had his second birthday party, and recently he had gotten a little better with his shyness.

"Hi," Sheila's voice wasn't so cheerful. And Olivia thought of how little she had interacted with him and Sarah in the past month.

"You are Noah's grandma."

"Yeah." Olivia was already cleaning her hands before she went to intercept her curious yet normally quiet son, not wanting to put Sheila under that kind of pressure.

"My too?" His speech wasn't still the best, but his mind was pretty sharp despite his young age.

"You have Lucia." Sheila didn't want to answer the boy's question.

"No..." Graham said. "She is abuelita."

"Graham!," Olivia called him before he could continue his questioning.

"Mommy!" He ran into her arms wanting to be picked up, and Olivia kissed him on her forehead.

"Are you having a good time?"

"Yes!" They both loved to be surrounded by family.

"Where are your brother and sister?" Olivia asked him.

"With abuela."

"Can you go to your abuela? Tell her I need her in the kitchen."

"Ok!" Olivia left him on the floor, looking at how he went away on his important mission.

"Olivia, I'm..." Sheila tried to explain herself.

"It ok." Olivia didn't want to push her kids on to anyone.

"No,..." Olivia looked at the other woman seeing in her eyes a mix of complex emotions. "They remind me of Ellie."

"Oh!" She hadn't thought about that.

"It's hard. Since she ran away from me, I have barely interacted with kids."

"It's ok. Don't worry." She might be a little too forgiving, but she could see the pain in the other woman's eyes.

"Thanks," Sheila said before she left to the bathroom.

After that, the day went surprisingly good. Lucia cooked an amazing meal, Casey brought tons of marvelous appetizers, and Rita took care of the dessert. They all ate far too much between laughs, easy-going jokes, inside jokes and past anecdotes.

The only thing Olivia regretted about their home was the lack of a backyard. She didn't need a yard as big as Rita's, but she would like a small one so the kids could play and not have to stay inside the house all afternoon.

"And what about Graham and Sarah's parents." Sheila's words echoed in the room. All of them, minus the kids, were still sitting at the table. Not knowing how the conversation led them into remembering a case they had faced almost a year ago. The perp, Michael Torpey, claimed he had inherited the rape gene."Aren't you worried about all those things experts say about genetics?" Sheila asked curiously, despite how bad her words sounded. For a few seconds the silence reigned in the room, the only thing to hear was the noise the kids made from one of the bedrooms while they played. And for a few seconds Olivia went back to those days, feeling for a brief moment what she had felt back then.

"Sheila," Olivia said grabbing Rafael's hand, not looking at him, as a silent plea to let her manage it, exchanging with Amanda and Rita concerned looks. "If I believed in those things I would fear Noah too, and Rafael, and myself. So, no I don't worry about it."

"If all the shit people say on TV was the truth, the human race would already be extinct for many many years." Rita's words gave them the break they needed to start talking again, everyone making noise to forget what had just been asked. But neither her or Rafael loosened the hold they had on each other's hand.

…

Olivia was still surprised. Each time they planned and succeeded to meet like this, it took them more and more time to leave, and at this rate, it wouldn't be a surprise if they all had a big sleepover one of these days.

That was the reason it was way beyond the kid's bedtime, but a special day was a special day.

Surprisingly, Sheila had been the one to stay the longest. The others leaving once the house was clean again. And now she was helping Olivia putting the last things in their rightful place, while Rafael changed the kids into their pyjamas.

"Do you think I could read to Noah before he goes to sleep?" Sheila asked. "I read to Ellie every night."

"Yeah, no problem," Olivia said trying to smile properly at the other woman, but she was very tired. Despite being surrounded by family, she had woken up quite early, and Sheila's hurtful comments hadn't helped her tiredness. But she didn't want to end the day with a fight.

"You'll have to ask him. Tonight is his turn to choose the story and who reads it."

"Good, thank you."

"Not needed."

"What's his favourite?" Sheila asked, she always wanted to know more things about Noah.

"Barnyard dance it's usually in the top ten, but it changes from time to time." Those words made Sheila laugh.

"Mommy!," Sarah came running towards her until she saw Sheila and stopped frozen looking where to hide. Lately, she had been a little bit shyer.

"What is it, honey?" Olivia asked as she kneeled in front of her, looking at her beautiful daughter. In these past months, she had grown a lot, having her first birthday three months ago.

"Papi..." Her face showed her concentration, her speech had grown quite a lot lately, but she was still young, and if there was unknown people in the room her nerves made her keep her mouth closed.

"What does papi want?" Olivia asked her.

"You."

"Me?"

"Story time." Sarah said smiling, before she turned to look behind her. "Lo hice bien papi? (I did it good papi?)" She asked looking to the hallway where she knew her father had been waiting if she needed help.

"Perfecto!" Rafael said from his spot.

"Yay!" Sarah kissed Olivia's cheek and went to the boys room running.

"Five more minutes," Olivia said.

"Ok." Rafael didn't leave the room yet. "Noah! Did you choose your story?" Despite the way, he sometimes complained about his mother's bad manners he had a few of them, like the need to yell inside the house instead of going where the other person was to talk to him or her.

"Yes!" He said as tiny feet running were heard in the house. "This one." He said proudly showing his choice to his father.

"¿Otra vez Ferdinando? (Ferdinand again?)" Rafael asked, and Noah nodded enthusiastically. The book had come to them as a birthday present to Graham, and since then it was a regular weekly choice by one of them.

"Ok." Rafael acceded, feigning it was a hardship. "I guess it's my turn again."

"Actually," Sheila's voice interrupted them. "I wanted to ask if I could read to Noah tonight?"

"You want to read to Noah?" Rafael asked with a serious face.

"If he lets me," Sheila said. "What do you think about it, Noah?"

"Do you know Spanish too?" Noah asked surprised with a tiny smile on his lips.

"What?"

"Our Ferdinand book it's in Spanish," Rafael explained.

"Well, we could read another one tonight?" Sheila offered carefully mindful of her words.

"But..." Noah stood conflicted beside his father. "I want Ferdinand and so do Graham and Sarah too." Noah looked at Rafael and Olivia for guidance.

"It's ok. Grandma Sheila can read to you all another night then." Olivia eased him.

"Ok," Noah said happily before Rafael murmured to him to go to his room and wait for him.

"One of these days Spanish will be the only language spoken in this home," Sheila said, and Olivia got the vibe that those comments had more intent than she had previously thought. She knew she might have been too forgiving, that she should have said something to Sheila hours ago, but her and Rafael's wish had been to have a nice time with their family and not to fight. But she had had enough.

"Sorry?" Rafael asked beating Olivia. Olivia hadn't been the only one who had had enough. And despite neither Rafael or her not wanting to fight in front of the kids, he wasn't going to let her say those things and get away unpunished.

"I..."

"You?" Rafael could see how Sheila hadn't thought she would be called out about her comments. "What? Because I've had enough of your passive-aggressive comments."

"It's been a long day. I'm sorry. I got excited with the idea of reading to Noah."

"Well, story time includes the three of them you know," Rafael said. "There are three kids in this house. They are brothers and sisters. And they are growing up in a mixed heritage home, so they are growing up with two languages. Both languages important and useful. And if you want to be a part of all gatherings you have better remember it the next time we see each other. " Olivia thought Rafael's words could have been worse, but when she saw Sheila look at her, she did nothing to help her.

"We're all tired. It's been a long day. And, I think it's better if you leave Sheila." Olivia's words were said softly, but they were still strong.

"Ok," Sheila said not having much more room to argue, and not wanting to limit her visits to Noah for a few misunderstood words. Without pause, she grabbed her coat and purse while Rafael left the room with a quick good night.

"Good night," Sheila said. "I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to upset everyone."

"Ok. It's been difficult for everyone. Good night Sheila," Olivia said as she accompanied the woman to the door. And despite the bad taste, those words had left in her mouth, she was looking forward to story time.


	52. Chapter 52

_Hello there! Here's is the next one, I hope you'll like it. Thank you all for your support and comments, and to my beta Lyssa813._

 _This one has some bits of the episode dialogue._

* * *

 _Third step._

Olivia didn't like to be the bad guy, she had enough of that in her job, and to still have to do it outside of it was exhausting as well. Since the party disaster, things had improved greatly, and it had turned into a slow increase in Sheila's visits in frequency and duration with the tension going away. It had been such a marvelous change that it had been a bit difficult to believe it at first. But when Noah had asked her about Ellie Porter, just a few seconds after Sheila had left, the water glass spilled, and her anger boiled.

She had tried to stay calm and be tolerant. Forgiving actions and words she wouldn't have forgiven other people for. Rafael had enough reticence and distrust for the both of them. However, when Noah had asked her yesterday about Ellie, she felt the need to do something.

And now she was waiting for Sheila at a coffee shop close to the precinct, hoping she wouldn't be late to Rafael's office to review the current case they were dealing with. She hadn't told Rafael yet, barely managing to keep her anger unnoticed while she had been with him at home, preferring to talk to Sheila first.

In the end, she didn't have to wait too long, seeing Sheila come inside the shop. She had a tiny smile on her face despite the stiffness of her body.

"Olivia."

"Sheila." Sometimes it was hard for her to make small talk when she was angry at the person she had to talk to, preferring to use a more direct approach.

"What's good? I've never been here before." Sheila sat in front of her at the tiny table near one of the corners of the shop.

"The coffee, in general, it's pretty good, and all the pastries are homemade."

"Good."

Quickly the same waiter who had taken her order previously came to take Sheila's and did a quick job to assemble it and bring it to the table. Today, she had decided to stay with only some black coffee. Her stomach was too upset to want anything solid, despite how incredible the shop's pasties were. While Sheila opted for a cappuccino and a blackberry muffin.

"What did you want to talk about?" Sheila asked her cheerfully, and Olivia didn't know if she hadn't noticed yet her poor attitude towards her or if she didn't care about it. "Have you thought about the idea of Noah spending an afternoon with me at my place? God, this is really good," Sheila said after tasting the muffin.

"Glad to know," Olivia said dryly making the other woman look at her earnestly for the first time she had entered the shop.

"You ok?"

"Why did you tell Noah about Ellie, Sheila?" The question had been burning on her tongue since Noah had asked her about the young woman. "I specifically told you that Rafael and I wanted to wait until Noah was older so he wouldn't be so confused," Olivia said seeing how Sheila sat frozen in the chair.

"I... It just... I'm sorry." Sheila apologized. "It just happened. I showed him the baseball glove, and he started to ask things. He was asking a lot of questions. And I know Ellie loved him."

"You are the adult. You are the one who is supposed to know what id appropriate to say. What if he had asked you what happened to her, or why she gave him up, or where he spent the first year of his life? What was your plan then?" Olivia took a deep breath before she continued.

"I'm really sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"That little boy is only five years old. When he's old enough, and when he's prepared he's going hear the truth. Until then, you have to discuss these things with Rafael and I. I've to be comfortable with this relationship, but you are not helping me. How do you want me to be comfortable with Noah spending more time alone with you when the first time it happens you do a thing I specifically asked you not to do?"

"I..."

"You've been questioning my parenting decisions since the very beginning, maybe not by voice, but your face has been pretty self-explanatory."

"It's not easy."

"Of course it's not easy." Olivia tried hard not to raise her voice, she didn't want the people around them to start staring at them. "But, if we want this to work you, we have to try hard. Both sides have to try."

"I was a good mother. She just slipped away from me."

"You don't have to prove to me you were a good mother, I just need you to work with me"

"Yes, I do. I know what people think when they see me. That woman let her daughter become a junkie. And I tried so hard." Olivia could see the barely held in tears on Sheila's face. And despite how mad she was at her she hurt at the pain she could see.

"I know it's not a comfort, but I've seen this a lot, and it can happen to anyone."

"I just want him to know how much I love him."

"And he'll know." Olivia tried to comfort her.

"I'm really sorry. You are absolutely right. It won't happen again. Olivia, this has been wonderful. I really want it to work out."

"So do I."

"Can you forgive me." Olivia didn't want to give in so soon, but they were both new at this.

"Of course. We're both new at this."

"Thank you," Sheila said grabbing her hand. "Really, thank you." Olivia smiled at her a little.

"You know... It would help you if you took more time to gain Graham's trust, and if you could interact a little more with Sarah." Olivia said. "I know they are not related to you, but they are Noah's brother and sister. He always includes the other two." She had showed more interest into her two younger kids, but it was easy to see where her preference was set, unsettling the kids who always shared it all.

"I know, but she reminds me so much of Ellie. Every time she comes to me I just stand frozen."

"I understand, but..."

"I'll try harder," Sheila said and they both exchanged a smile.

"And about that afternoon thing, I talk about it with Rafael. Ok?"

"That would be amazing."

…

It wasn't until much later in the day when Olivia replayed the conversation in her mind. She was already in bed with the darkness surrounding her. The only light coming from Rafael's lamp on his nightstand. He was resting beside her, but he still was reading some court briefings.

"I talked to Sheila today." Olivia started not wanting to hide it from Rafael.

"Oh!" He kept reading or mostly faked he was still reading the paper.

"Apparently yesterday when she picked up Noah from his school she told him about Ellie." Those words made him look at her.

"What?" He was already prepared to chop someone's head off.

"Easy boy." She tried to calm him. "I already dealt with it. I didn't want to put you under more pressure."

"Olivia."

"I'm sorry. But, I want this to work, and you..."

"I wouldn't have helped."

"Not much." She didn't want him to feel too bad about his attitude towards Sheila.

"I'm sorry too."

"I know honey. We keep each other balanced. This time, it's your turn to be the distrustful one. I just want you to trust me."

"With my life," Rafael said. "You know it."

"I know," Olivia said kissing him on the cheek.

"How did it go?"

"She said it won't happen again, that she'll check things with us first."

"But?"

"It was the first time she was totally alone with him for the first time, and it happened. And I know it's a difficult situation, and that she's been dealing with a lot of guilt and mourning feelings. But it still happened."

"One more chance is not going to be the end of the world, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Shouldn't I be the reticent one?" Rafael asked making Olivia laugh. "We'll take it one day at time, just like we said."

"Ok." Olivia rested her head on Rafael's shoulder once they were both lying on the bed. "Are you nervous for tomorrow?" She asked.

"Nope."

"How are you so sure of yourself?"

"I'll be one of the coolest dads. I'm the one who puts bad people in prison." Tomorrow was a father and son day at preschool, and the fathers, or male role models if the child didn't have a father, would be talking about their jobs. "You'll see," Rafael said making her laugh, and for a few seconds, Olivia forgot about all, thinking that maybe it all would end well in the end.


	53. Chapter 53

_Sorry for the delay, but here is the next one. I'm also sorry because the chapter is a bit short, but I hope it will put a smile on your faces._

 _Thank you all for your support and comments and to my beta Lyssa813_

* * *

 _Morning laziness._

Rafael had Olivia's lip between his, sucking it for one more time before he released it with a wet pop, feeling her breath coming out in a whisper of his name before he moved from on top of her and rested with his back on their bed. He barely left any space between their hot bodies, still not willing to break their heady and intoxicating connection.

Slowly, feeling like he had all the time in the world, Rafael stretched his body, flexing it with a languid sort of ease, feeling Olivia's body curl next to him, like a lazy cat under the first light of the day. Making it quite easy to let the endearments that came to his mind roll off his tongue.

For him, it had been way too long since they had time to indulge in one another as they had just done, and if he had to guess by Olivia's attitude, he would bet all his money she thought the same.

"I didn't get an actual response to my question," Olivia said, nuzzling her face in his neck, and Rafael chuckled.

"What question did you have in mind? If I recall wrong, there were a few questions during my performance." It was Olivia's turn to laugh feeling her face heat up when she remembered what she had said during said performance. "Would it be the one about fucking you? I thought I gave you an action speaks louder than words answer. Or would it be the one about staying all day like this? I'm not opposed to it, despite the difficulties we would have to face first, and I'm talking mainly about the kids. The answer would still be yes a million times, but please give a man a few minutes to recover. That level of performance is hard to achieve." He was smirking as the words left his mouth, surprised at how awake he felt. Laughing, Rafael kissed Olivia's uncovered skin as she was still hidden from him, probably sporting a blush to her shoulders at least.

"Rafa..." He loved messing with her. "Do you need to be...?"

"So crude?" Rafael offered. "You were the one saying those words a few minutes ago." He said, and he heard her groan making him laugh.

"Smart-ass." She said pinching his stomach before she raised herself leaning on her elbow. "Trying to get a proper answer with your rambling when you were doing all that it's not quite easy," Olivia said with measured words not wanting him to fuel his cockiness.

"Oh! Oh! That was a real proposal?" Rafael asked gladly surprised.

"Now he gets it," Olivia replied, her eyes light with mischief as her fingers danced through his greying chest hair. She loved when she was able to tease him like this. Slowly she approached him, licking her own lips as she let her breath ghost across his lips, preparing to pounce him first.

But before she could renew her assault, Olivia felt his hands on her chest, his fingers jabbing into her ribs.

"No, no, no...Rafa!" Before she knew it, she was turned into a mess of giggles, and Rafael was on top of her, poking at her mercilessly, smirking and watching her trying to squirm from his touch as the chuckles left her mouth. "Please, please... stop!"

After a little more begging he stopped, laughing and muffling his amusement against Olivia's lips, kissing her hard and thoroughly. His hands sought her's, entwining their fingers, pushing them on each side of Olivia's head, and her legs parted for him without hesitation. Rafael nestled his hips between her thighs, and nuzzled the skin on her neck, tasting the skin there with kisses, with tongue, and bites, more than prepared to leave a mark, surrounding himself with Olivia's scent.

Her hands left his, and went to his hair, pushing him to kiss her again. Both more than ready for the second round of the morning, but a voice coming from the baby monitor they still had in the room interrupted them, making them both groan with misery.

"At least we could enjoy the first round," Olivia said and Rafael only managed to groan again. After she had gotten him all riled up, her words weren't enough consolation.

"I'll go." He offered already leaving her warm body and searching for his boxers.

"My hero," Olivia said not moving a finger to cover herself.

"You are a devious tease." He said throwing the t-shirt he had worn during the night to cover her.

"And you love it," Olivia said chuckling seeing how he moved towards the door.

"It's my curse."

It took Olivia a while to start moving. Preferring to stay quiet, and hear Rafael and their little girl talk through the baby monitor, and as always she heard or saw him interact with any of their kids it brought her a smile to her face.

Slowly she covered herself with Rafael's t-shirt and her panties and left their room, crossing paths with her husband and daughter.

"Morning honey!" She said to the little girl.

"Mommy!" She moved towards Olivia wanting her morning kiss and hug from her.

"We should think about getting her a grown-up bed. I found her trying to climb her way out of her crib." Rafael said.

"Is that true?" Olivia asked and saw Sarah proudly grin.

"She thinks she was going to achieve it, but I think if I had gotten there a few seconds later, she wouldn't be so happy right now. She was about to fall flat on her face." Rafael said making Olivia chuckle.

"You are surprisingly awake this morning," Olivia commented.

"Well, someone took care of that," Rafael said making her blush, and he laughed before he kissed her chastely on the lips. "This little lady asked for pancakes. So, I'm offering to do the hard work, and if you want you can go wake up the boys. Maybe we could go to the aquarium? We've never been there." They had talked about it the day before once the kids had been sleeping, and they both had thought it would be good for them all to spend a day together away from the dramas they were facing. And surprisingly they had never been at the aquarium.

"Yaaaaahh!" Sarah's happy shriek deafened Olivia and Rafael.

"I'll take that as an ok," Rafael said smiling. "I'll assume you'll want chocolate chip pancakes?"

"Yes please," Olivia said. They were her favourite.

"And you say I'm the childish one," Rafael said once he was a few feet away from Olivia, not wanting to get pinched for his words.

"It takes one to know one." She loved being the one with the last word. "I'm just saying this." She heard Rafael chuckle as he went to the kitchen.

"Should we go wake up your brothers?" She asked Sarah, already seeing the mischief in her young eyes, and Olivia thought that today was going to be a good one.


	54. Chapter 54

_Hey there! Thank you all for your comments and support! And to my beta Lyssa813 for her hard work!_

 _I just wanted to warn you all that although it might look like I have stopped working in this story, I have not. It might take me some time to post the next few chapters (they are almost done, but they still need some changes) but they will be posted._

 _Once said that here is the next chapter. I hope you'll like it._

 _This chapter also has some bits of the episode dialogue._

* * *

 _Final step I_

Olivia was living in a nightmare. She was sitting in the passenger seat of a police car, and she didn't know how she had managed to end up there.

She had been alone with Graham and Sarah while Rafael went to pick up Noah from Sheila's house after he had spent the morning with her having lunch alone, much to Rafael's displeasure. Just another easy-going Saturday afternoon until a call disrupted everything.

It had been Fin's voice on the other side of the phone. She had answered the call happily, but her happiness hadn't lasted more than a few seconds.

Normally her squad wouldn't have been involved, but the first cops that arrived on the scene knew who Rafael was and with who he worked, and they had called the SVU unit, Fin had been the one on duty this weekend.

There had been an attack. They had found Rafael unconscious on the street, close to Sheila's home, with a nasty cut on his head and he was now on his way to the hospital, and Noah was missing.

Fin had reassured her he had everything under control, but after calling Lucia and knowing the other woman was on her way to the hospital while Lucy came to take care of Graham and Sarah, she had felt the need to use the police car Fin had sent her to go to the crime scene.

"Olivia," Fin voice startled her as he opened the door of the car. "I thought you would go to the hospital.

"No, Lucia is going. Lucy is with the kids." Her face wore the police mask despite how her soul was howling in desperation. "What happened?" There would be time to breakdown later, now she had to find her son.

"We don't know yet." Fin informed her, guiding her towards one of the cars parked were Sheila was waiting.

"Fin."

"We talked to her." Fin said. "Sheila said Rafael picked Noah, and after they left she heard some yelling. She went to see what happened and found Rafael unconscious on the street. She was the one who called 911."

"God," Olivia murmured.

"Sonny is looking around, speaking to the neighbors with a few cops. Mike is trying to get a break from the street camera footage. I have everyone looking. I need you to trust me." They both knew she couldn't be leading the investigation. With a quick nod, she left him to do his job and went to speak to Sheila.

"Olivia, I'm so sorry." The crying woman said as soon as she saw Olivia.

"It's ok."

"I could have done something. I don't know, go look at what was happening sooner or..."

"Don't wrack yourself with possible scenarios." Olivia took Sheila's hands in hers trying to console the other woman despite how harsh her words might sound. "Did you talk with the police?"

"Yeah, I told them what Noah was wearing, and I gave them one of the photos you gave me."

"Good." Olivia murmured. "That's good."

"And now?"

"Good question." She said chuckling, feeling for the first time what the victims felt when she said to them the words she was going to use on herself. "Now, we stay calm and let them do their job." As much as she wanted to be with Fin and the other's right now, she knew she was too compromised.

She still couldn't believe it was really happening.

The two women stayed there quietly talking, trying to remember if either of them had seen someone looking at them or another anomaly in their normal lives.

"Liv," Fin was on the phone. "Mike has gotten something. One of the cameras on the corner's bank, it was next door to Sheila's home, caught someone putting Noah inside a car. We've got the plate and the time. It's from a rental. We're trying to get an order to get their information and see if there's a tracking device on the car. We've also sent a notice to the airports, ports, and tolls."

"Thank God," At least a little light this darkness.

"Now, I want you to hear me." Fin grabbed her by her shoulders. "Go to the hospital. I had to call Chief Dodds, and if he sees you at the precinct, he's going to get mad. He's pulling all the strings he has to help. So do your part, please, and stay as away as you can." It was a stupid idea to ask her to stay totally away. "There's nothing more for you to do here. Go see your husband, I'll call you as soon as I get anything."

She didn't want to agree, but she knew Fin was right.

"Ok," She agreed. "But call me."

"You're on speed dial. Don't worry. At least try not to worry more than you already are."

"I'll accompany you." Sheila offered. "If that's ok, I'm too riled up, and I don't want to be alone." Olivia and Fin exchanged a silent conversation, where Fin pleaded with her to agree.

"Ok, no problem."

"Ok then, I'll send you someone to drive you two." Fin said. "I'll talk to you later." He squeezed Olivia's shoulder trying to give her a bit of comfort before he left them.

The ride and the walk towards were Rafael was, was silent. Neither woman knew what to say under this circumstances.

He already was in a bed in the ICU, and Lucia was sitting beside his bed.

"Lucia," Olivia called her.

"Olivia, Dios mío (My God)." They met in a crushing hug. "Why? Why this is happening?"

"I don't know yet. I'm sorry. How is Rafael?"

"They have sutured the cut on his head. The MRI is normal, but they want to keep him in the ICU for the night because he hasn't woken up yet."

"And that's not normal?"

"The doctor didn't look too worried. Just a bit concerned. He said sometimes it takes more time to wake up for some people. If Rafael doesn't wake up in the next six hours, they want to do more tests."

"And when was that?" Olivia was now holding Rafael's hand between hers wishing he would open his eyes right now.

"An hour ago." She didn't know how time passed so quickly already. "You called me almost three hours ago." Lucia anticipated her question.

"Thank you." She said smiling sadly to the other woman.

Quickly Lucia started to ask about Noah, and Olivia hated having so little information about what was happening. In the meantime, Sheila offered herself to go get them some coffee anticipating the long night. After that, the three women sat waiting, each of them in her own mind while barely sharing a few words between them.

The time passed slowly, each second echoing in Olivia's bones. It was another second away from Noah, and another second where Rafael hadn't woke up.

…

Olivia hadn't noticed when she had started to nod off. Lucia was sitting beside her with her eyes closed, and after a quick look at her watch, she saw it was just after midnight of the second night without Noah. It had been 32h since the first call she had, and they had barely anything.

All Rafael's test had come back normal, but he hadn't woken up yet. And no-one had given her or Lucia a reason for it. They had only been told to wait and stay positive. Sheila had stayed with them much longer than she had thought, leaving the hospital at 11 pm yesterday night, maintaining close contact via phone. But on Noah's front, they still didn't have much more information.

From the cameras, they had seen that the kidnapper was a male of average height with whom Noah had left calmly, letting them know he knew the man, and it had been all premeditated as he had a carseat in the car. Leaving them all with more questions to find answers too.

A low grumble caught her attention, making her look towards the bed. Rafael was moving, and she saw him open his eyes.

"Rafa," She called him caressing one of his cheeks crying with happiness. "I'm here." She kissed his forehead, close to the black bruise on the skin.

"Liv. Where...?" His voice was a bit raspy.

"You are at the hospital." She tried to stay calm. "Did you remember what happened?"

"Mmmm... I... I went to pick up Noah." He said.

"Do you remember anything more?" She asked despite she knew it wasn't the moment to pressure him.

"Not really."

"And Noah?"

"What about Noah? He was with Sheila?" He asked, starting to look concerned.

"No, she said he was already with you when you were attacked. He's missing."

"What? No, I didn't see him." His words were a little slurred, but his mind seemed quite aware of what was happening now. "It happened just before I reached her house." He said. "Olivia, what's happening? Olivia?!"

Olivia had started to hyperventilate, starting to see black spots.

"Olivia!" Rafael kept calling her rousing his mother.

"What's wrong?" Lucia asked startled.

"Mama, call the doctors or for a nurse, someone. She needs to sit, and if I get up, I'm going to end up on the floor." Rafael was dizzy from only trying to sit on the bed.

Quickly the personnel came in attending to him and Olivia. It was in the middle of the chaos when her phone rang. Despite Lucia and the nurse hovering over her, she picked it up.

"Olivia." Fin's voice came from the other side. "We've got something." He sounded troubled.

"What is it?"

"We have the car going to New Hampshire. We identified the man, he's Juan Ortoli. He's Sheila's gardener. She's the one who paid for the car. We have her credit card payments. She brought a car seat three days ago. Mike and Sonny are on their way to his home in New Hampshire right now." She didn't hear anything more, her hand lost her strength and the phone crashed into the floor.

"Olivia!" She could hear Rafael's voice calling her.


End file.
